My parents have this little issue with my bf...

[Pink_minx]

My bf is stayin at our house for three months because he doesnt have a place yet until the first week of sept. And he lives a couple hours away from home, but cant go back home because he has a job here. So he said he will pay $100 a month to help with groceries. He already paid for groceries in the first week of June but we went grocery shopping together without my parents. And he doesnt want to give the money to my parents to go grocery shopping because when they do the shopping we rarely get food food just junk food... they just buy us hot pockets and microwavable foods and it really doesnt last us long, so my rather do the shopping for us. And when he did, the food lasted for a month rather than just a few weeks!

And now my parents want him to pay again NOW because they dont have money. He doesnt mind but he feels that he should wait until July 1st if he does go shopping tomorrow then that will mean he paid $200 for one month and when we run out of groceries again my parents are going to make him pay AGAIN in July and AGAIN in August. I told my mom that he will go shopping next week on saturday and she said it would be too late because my dad would get paid already? what!? I dont understand why my parents are broke right now but that really didnt make sense when my mom said it would be too late already? kind of dumb. They go out all the time and spend money on stupid things. I dont think they are being good with money at all. Now they think my bf doesnt trust them with the money. But he just feels better when he is there paying for it. I do understand why he doesnt want to give them money because I gave my mom money to put away for my college...i dont have a bank account yet but she spent it all and I was dropped from all my classes and now i have to take different classes that I dont need.

I dont know what to say to my parents because they always have issues with money. My dad just bought speakers that were $200 bucks the other day and today he bought some tools for them to fix it up...and im kind of mad because now they are turning to my bf for money and are all feeling offended by him and im afraid that they might want him to pay again and again. and my parents & bf would get into this fight. blah! i dont know what to do if they ask him for money again next month and get all mad because he already paid for that month but just sooner am I makind sense at all? im just a lil stressed out because I dont want my bf to pay over $300 bucks because my parents and him made a deal that he was to pay $100 for the 3 months he is staying in. He is getting his own apartment with other roomates and has to pay for ALL his college tuition and he goes to a university too. so i feel bad because he is also struggling and feel mad at my father because he does make a lot of money for what he is doing and him and my mom just spends it like money grows on trees.

SRY its soo long! but i just wanted to ask...should my parents really feel offended that my bf doesnt trust them with his money? or should he just give them the money with no hesitation because they are letting him live with us?

 

[Hawkeye]

Wow. This is complicated. Very complicated indeed!

Well the first thing we got to look at is the rent. $100/month is really cheap!

But the thing is, if your parents aren't good with money then it's OK for him to not trust them-but on the other hand-it's their house. Maybe if you all created a paper trail for your parents to see exactly what he has done etc or maybe go out get groceries and still give your parents $100.

I mean your stuck between a rock and a hard place. It's their house so therefore they can ask your bf for money as long as he's staying under their roof-unless there was a written agreement. Maybe (and this is going to sound horrible but my best friend had to do this) even get him to stay in an extended living place (like a hotel but cheaper).

It's not ideal but that's pretty much what you have unless he moves in with another person. :/

But the answer to your question is he should just give them the money because they are letting him live with you all. It's not the favorite answer but theres not much more you can do as long as he stays there.

Sorry im not much more help hon!

 

[Pink_minx]

^yeah I know its complicated. Its just that they made an agreement to $100 month not $200 and before he was going to stay, my dad said he didnt have to pay he can stay for free...but my bf offered anyways to pay $100.

And now my parents are mad at him. There are problems with this situation. Like my bf staying here until the end of august and my parents do have the right to ask him for money but then again they did make this agreement that he pays $100 a month. My bf is going to give them money tomorrow but im also afraid that their going to spend $100 on a FEW things and thats how its always is my brother and I ask them to get this and that for us but they always say they dont have enough but when my bf goes he actually get the things that my bro and i want and we still get a lot of food out of just $100.

The thing is my bf is really strict with his money because he has to save for his phone bills, college, and for the apartment he is getting in sept. But he is a better grocery shopper lol. then again hes just going to have to give them money cause he does live in our house. kinda suckie situation.

 

[bAbY_cHiCkEn01]

I'm really sorry but I think your parents are being really crappy about this and your bf has EVERY single right to not trust them... theres proof in the fact that your moms blowing all of YOUR money and made you drop your classes and the fact that you said something about your parents needing money because they've run out, whilst your dad has just bought some speakers I'm positive he doesn't actually "need"...

If the agreement is written down (which I hope it is for your sake) then theres nothing your parents can do but accept it. Plus your bf is not just throwing the money away and makes it last the distance which shows that hes being smart with it... And the fact that your parents are mad with him? I don't get that, I really don't... The way I see it is that your parenst can't budget and they want more money for themselves... Your dad offered to have your boyfriend for free and your bfs paying $100 towards his own stuff... no way. They're being unfair...

 

[bAbY_cHiCkEn01]

Oh, and its not like hes living there, eating all of their food and him not paying a cent...

 

[Shimmer]

If I were in his shoes, I would go to the grocery store and buy two loaves of bread some sammich cheese and some lunch meat, to hold every body over until the weekend, as well as one box of cereal and once gallon of milk. I would hold the original receipt, ask for an extra printout of said receipt, then on the first, hand go spend whatever the rest of the hundred dollars was on real food.

Hot Pockets and crap liek that are stupidly expensive, and don't last long at all. It sounds like your boyfriend has a good head on his shoulders, and I hope y'all can work this out amicably.

 

[Hawkeye]

Cookie-i got to thinking that a paper trail really means absolutely nothing (though it was a good idea!) but in this case unless it was notorized it means nothing. Yeah this is a really crappy situation. If its over groceries maybe do what shimma suggested but yeah he has every reason not to trust your parents!

He'll just have to get a little bit tighter with his other expenses!

 

[Spenser]

I know what you are going through. I've been in the same position many times with my own mother, and it is so difficult when you can't trust your parents.
My advice would be to have your boyfriend write up a contract of sorts outlining the agreement that he would pay $100/month for room and board (room AND board is important as it covers rent and food) from such and such a date to the end of his stay. Make note of the money he has already paid and then have him give them the additional $200 so that he has paid in full. Have your parents BOTH sign it and mark it "paid in full". Tell them that he needs it for his school's financial records, or some other excuse that will not cause problems (rather than saying that you can't trust them blah, blah, blah).
They WILL come back to him for money, but he should NOT give them any. He can tell them that he has no cash because he has paid them in advance. My mom would come up with some emergency (electric turned off, etc.) but do not give them anything.
If you guys have to buy additional groceries, toilet paper, etc. keep the reciepts and ask that they reimburse him. Expect that you'll have to buy these things, but keep it minimal. Peanut butter and bread stashed in your room is not a bad idea.

As for you, I'd start my own bank account to stash small amounts of money. If you are under 18 do NOT put too much in it, as your parents have control over (they have the right to take it) that money until you are of legal age. If you're over 18 put as much as you can in the account, but request online statements etc. so that no mail comes to the house from the bank. You don't want them to know that you have savings of any sort, or they will be after you for "loans" all the time.

It is really tough, but there are ways to make it easier until you are independent.

 

[user79]

Oh man what a bad situation. I think $100 isn't much for living expenses, so he could just say he pays them $100 for a roof over his head, but then doesn't contribute to groceries and just pay for his own food. I think that would be a fair solution.

Bottom line, it's their house and he is a guest - if he doesn't like it there and doesn't get on with your parents, he has to leave and find somewhere else to stay.