oh, that mother of mine

kimmy

Well-known member
i've noticed a big change in my mom lately. i understand that she's forty-six years old and very possibly going through "the change," but damn. this is gonna be long, just fyi.

she's had a medical problem since i was a kid that she's supposed to take medication for. she usually takes it until there's a holiday or something, then she'll quit taking it which will land her in the hospital so all the attention will be on her. it's always kind of bothered me, especially since my eleventh birthday when she quit taking it and i spent much of said birthday in the hospital. that was nine years ago...but you know, kids don't forget.

well, said medical condition and the whole not taking of medication has taken it's toll and i can see the effects. i mean, drastic effects. she can hardly hear anymore and i think there's been some pretty serious brain damage because these days there's some things that she just cannot comprehend. simple things. she doesn't know how to react to the most basic of situations and she seems to have lost the ability to control her temper/emotions.

she doesn't take care of her house at all anymore. the only time it gets cleaned is when i take it upon myself (which is okay i guess, since i live there) but i work alot of long, hard hours and spend alot of time at the gym. i'm doing the best i can, but i cannot do it all. these days it seems like all she does is make messes for me to clean up, have political conversations with the cats and yell at me everytime anything bad in the world happens.

she doesn't even take care of herself. her doctor told her she needs to pay more attention to what she eats because her weight has reached an unhealthy place. she blames me for that, and says that ever since i was born, she's not been able to lose any weight. i think that's bullshit because if she'd eat right and exercise, she'd probably be a stick figure like me. she and i have the same frame, and i'm tiny so there's no doubt that if she tried, she could be at a healthy weight as well.

my sister and my dad have noticed a change as well but neither of them live with her, so it doesn't weigh as heavy on them. my sister doesn't even come home anymore from college because she can't handle being around my mom. she rarely calls here because my mom always takes the phone from me and my sister tries to avoid talking with her at all costs.

i can't say i don't blame her for what's happening to her, because in a way i do. she has known from the beginning what the reprecussions of discontinuing the use of her medication would be.

i have alot of other stresses to deal with right now...and honestly i'm just a little overwhelmed. i don't know what to say to her anymore. i try to tell her about things that are important to me, and on the days when she can hear what i'm saying, she won't listen. she regularly points out my flaws, which are many and which i have never denied...so i don't really know why she continues to point them out.

sorry for the long post. i just had to vent because i've had enough and i really just don't think i can put up with this anymore, but i don't know how to put a stop to it. she's my mom and i don't want to just act like she isn't here. i want to be able to tell her about things that are happening in my life, but i don't know what else to do but just avoid her as much as possible.
 

Brittni

Well-known member
Have you thought about getting her admitted to the hospital on a Chapter? Just so they can evaluate her and get some medications back into her system?

I don't know, but I feel for you. I am sorry you can't have that super special close connection with your mother, and I feel bad for her for missing out on someone as sweet as you.
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Please please try to take care of yourself kimmy. Sorry I don't have better advice.
 

Krasevayadancer

Well-known member
Kimmy, I am so sorry to hear about your bad experiences. It must be so hard on you being exposed to that everyday.

I think at the point its time to enlist professionals. Your mother obviously is having trouble functioning. Perhaps you can ask her doctor for advice, take matters into your own hands?

As sad as it is, the situation seems to be out of your control.

We are here for you of course
th_hug.gif
 

GlossyAbby

Well-known member
Quote:
Originally Posted by Krasevayadancer
Kimmy, I am so sorry to hear about your bad experiences. It must be so hard on you being exposed to that everyday.

I think at the point its time to enlist professionals. Your mother obviously is having trouble functioning. Perhaps you can ask her doctor for advice, take matters into your own hands?

As sad as it is, the situation seems to be out of your control.

We are here for you of course
th_hug.gif



great advise. I agree!
 

kimmy

Well-known member
thanks, dolls.
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i don't know how to really go about it...should i just call her doctor and be like "hey, this is what's up"?
 

PuterChick

Well-known member
Quote:
Originally Posted by kimmy
thanks, dolls.
smiles.gif


i don't know how to really go about it...should i just call her doctor and be like "hey, this is what's up"?


Just call the Dr. and tell him/her what you told us! The experiences you've seen and how she is acting.

HTH
 

purrtykitty

Well-known member
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brittni
Have you thought about getting her admitted to the hospital on a Chapter? Just so they can evaluate her and get some medications back into her system?

That's what I was thinking. Her pattern of not caring for herself and not taking her medication might classify her as a danger to herself.

I'm sorry for your situation. I think we all figure that someday we'll be caring for our parents, but we shouldn't have to take up that burden until we're into our middle years. I hope you're able to get everything worked out with your mother.
 
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