Petty Parents are stressing me out

[Robby_Raynebow]

My parents are simulation perfect parents. My dad is a mans man and my mom well thats a long irrelevant story. I don't fit into that. I have goals and I know what I want for myself, but how I get there is my choice, right. well they don't think so. I want to get my beauty license. They don't like that. I wear make-up. They hate that. I dye my hair and want my monroe pierced. that's just the icing on the cake. I'm gay and thats the last cherry on top of the icing.

They don't care if that's who I am because it makes them look bad. theyre friends think im a bad kid and that reflects badly on them. Whatever makes them look like there imperfect they hate. They are making my life hell and stressing me to the max. Ive started smoking to take the edge off of everything and I really cant take it. They are trying to stop me from doing things i want to do because they think it will denounce theyre perfection.

Ik this sounds stupid but I just need to know how to deal with this.

 

[M.A.C. head.]

It's a tough situation, but really, they are who they are and you are who you are. If it's not in their hearts to accept you as you are, the only thing you can do is work towards getting out on your own and doing things YOUR way, all by your damn self.

Before we're even born, our parents have things all planned out, dreams and visions of how things will be, how their kids will be! Not all parents are like this, but a lot. For those that are, some can handle things going differently than they wanted, and others can't. We can't change people, we can only work to change our situation and our quality of life.

 

[TISH1124]

^^^ Exactly what was said above....

Unfortunately it takes some parents longer to accept certain situations...It doesn't mean they love you any less ...it is just difficult for them to understand that it is what it is...Not always how they dreamed and expected it to be. Some parents and people think they can talk or counsel the person out of who they really are and they try everything they can to do this. It is a difficult life at times because people are cruel....I have so many friends that are gay....and your parents are trying to help you avoid that...not realizing they can't change who you are inside.

 

[ohnna-lee]

Well it is their loss, all of them. You are still a child and instead of nurturing your dreams they want to shoot you down. Don't allow them to push you into using substance to deal. Just shut them out, seriously put yourself around good people, people that will appreciate your decision in your life. Because in the end you will go off to live with someone else, and have your own job, and house, and everything that is not what your parents are. People forget the fact that a child is an individual and that whatever their dream is it needs to be praised and pushed to allow them their full potential.

Are there any classes you can take after school or things you can occupy yourself with... things that will spark your creative side. Anything to be positive and reinforcing what you want. What your parents want is no longer relevant, you aren't going to change (which is the common misconception, that you can "change" this). And we don't want you too, I want to see you making people gorgeous. I want to see you being happy in your skin!!!

 

[Makeupaddict88]

The way you described your parents remind me of Bree Van de Kamp from Desperate Housewives. I would just say be you. My dad has a FIT when I came home with my lip pierced. There was nothing he could do about it, I was 19 and an adult. Granted I live under his roof, but its MY way of expressing myself. I would just explain to your mom and dad that this is who you are, and they can take it and accept it, or just not, its their choice.

 

[NutMeg]

*hugs* It's tough when the people you love don't accept or understand who you are. How long ago did you come out to them? Sometimes it takes a while for parents to get used to the idea. My cousin had issues with my aunt and uncle, but they're pretty accepting now.

Although your parents don't sound accepting of you having your own dreams and plans, completely separate from your sexuality so it might be a problem that you'll always have to deal with.

 

[Robby_Raynebow]

Thanks for the advice. I just don't know how long I can stand this. theyve threatened to kick me out unless i stop doing all the things i love. and my dad will. ik he will.

 

[Makeupaddict88]

How old are you? If your under 18 *legally* he can't kick you out. I would just simply explain to them that this is who you are. You can't change how you want to be, and they should accept you, after all they are your parents. I know how stressful parents can be, recently I decided to see a therapist because of how stressed out I am, and I shouldn't be. I'm 20 yrs old. I shouldn't be worrying about the things I'm worrying about but I am. I'm going to have grays by the time I hit 21. Just stay strong, I know it will get better for you.

 

[Robby_Raynebow]

what they mean is that they would send me to a relative. ive seen 5 diff therapistr and i cant stand talking to them. ive tried explaining this to them but i always hear the dreaded phrase...... "It's Just A Phase, You'll Grow Out Of It". i have come to hate thpose words with a passion.

 

[Holy Rapture]

What will you grow out of ? Being gay ? Using make-up ? Having a piercing ? For Pete's sake, what's wrong with some people accepting people for who they really are ??!! Esp, when those people happen to be your parents and should love you the most

I mean, do you ever tell them to change ?? Did you ask them why they are straight ??!! I bet not!

Well, sometime back when I moved back in with my parents, they were shocked to see my make-up and clothes

, even though they're super-classy! Well, I just told them that since I don't ask or tell them what to do, they should not tell me what to do with my own things. It's my bloody face and my body!

Try that. Tell your parents that no matter what they think or say or try to do, you are not going to change who you are and what you like just because they would prefer it that way! It's exactly how you wouldn't tell somebody to become gay, if they're straight

If you're over 18, try to get a job and move out because I don't think they'd wanna let you be in peace. Am sorry you're going through this though

 

[Makeupaddict88]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Robby_Raynebow what they mean is that they would send me to a relative. ive seen 5 diff therapistr and i cant stand talking to them. ive tried explaining this to them but i always hear the dreaded phrase...... "It's Just A Phase, You'll Grow Out Of It". i have come to hate thpose words with a passion.

O I've heard those words before. I dreaded them then too. Like what Holy Rapture said, basically you need to let them know that this is you. No matter what you are not going to change just because they dont like it, there are many more people in this world that will accept you for who you are, and not judge you for what you like or do.

 

[Robby_Raynebow]

I think ill try that in our next fight. thanks a lot guys. i just hope they let up.