POTENTIAL EMOTIONAL TOPIC: From the Law and Order:SVU I saw tonight...

[Raerae]

Wow... Not sure if anyone else saw the SVU episode tonight at 9... Well since it was prolly a re-run I'm sure someone has seen it before. It was the first time I had seen it...

It dealt with the murder of a rapist. The dilema between knowing what a victim did was legally wrong (in this case killing their rapist years later), vs the moral dilema behind although illegal, was it wrong?

While that was heavy enough, what really hit me was the fact that it also dealt with women who have gotten pregnant from their rapist. I didn't know Olivia Benson's (Stabler's partner played by Mariska Hargitay) father, was also her mother's rapist. And only found this out this episode when she was discussing the case with her Mom since one of the women involved aslo had a 5 year old son, who's father was her rapist.

What really got me, was when Olivia spoke about being so angry about what had happened tp her Mom. And her Mom replied to her, "If it hadn't happened, you wouldn't be here."

I can't even imagine being in her position, especially considering how terrible that type of crime is. Yet also knowing that your the product of that crime. Hating your father on one hand but also knowing that had he not done something terrible you woulnd't be here today... Can you even say your glad your alive w/out trivialising in some ways the expierence that your Mother went through? And can the mother say she is glad it happened w/out validating the actions of the rapist?

My head hurts... All i know is that when it hit me while watching this episode, I teared up a little. Is there any right answer?

 

[Beauty Mark]

There aren't any right or wrong answers necessarily, although I believe if you do keep the child, you should strive to love it. I personally would have an abortion. I don't want children anyway, and I don't think I would be able to go through 9 months of a constant physical reminder that I was raped. I'm always amazed when women give birth to the rapist's child, particularly when they have no religious convictions about abortion. I just can't imagine that. Going through check ups, having to pretend you're elated about your pregnancy to strangers, and so on. I doubt you'd forget that you were raped, but that's a huge reminder of it.

Olivia's story is tragic. Later on in the series, her mother is noted as violent drunk and Olivia & she do not have a good relationship. IIRC, the rape is hinted at the reason why Olivia's mother is an alcoholic. There's also an episode where Olivia goes searching for her father; it's a B-story, but it was very good.

I can't imagine what it's like growing up knowing you're the child of a rapist. I was adopted. I sometimes think about that, because I don't know anything about my parents. I'm glad to be alive, but I honestly couldn't blame my mother if she had aborted me had she been raped.

 

[Another Janice!]

My husband is a product of rape.

His mom (she passed away a few years ago) never regretted the choice to keep him. She hated the rapist (who happened to be her estranged husband....but rape is rape), but never, ever regretted having her baby.

And Dave is glad she didn't abort. =)

 

[Shimmer]

There's never a right answer, only an answer that best suits the legal system.
Wrong? Probably not.
Illegal? Yes.
Deserving of punishment on those grounds? Unfortunately.

 

[Raerae]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beauty Mark I personally would have an abortion.

While I do respect your opinion (i'm pro choice), I dont know if I could personally have an abortion, even under these circumstances. I may not be a religious person, but I do believe to an extent that things happen for a reason.

I think thats why this episode was so powerful to me, trying to put myself in that position.

 

[Beauty Mark]

I don't believe that things happen for reason; I believe things just happen, but thanks for respecting the idea of choice.

Would you raise the child, allowing it to know it was product of rape or would you pretend you just got pregnant through consentual sex? I thought that was another interesting point in the story. The stepfather seemed clueless that his wife was raped and the child is a product of that. Again, there's no right answer.

 

[Raerae]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beauty Mark I don't believe that things happen for reason; I believe things just happen, but thanks for respecting the idea of choice. Would you raise the child, allowing it to know it was product of rape or would you pretend you just got pregnant through consentual sex? I thought that was another interesting point in the story. The stepfather seemed clueless that his wife was raped and the child is a product of that. Again, there's no right answer.

I think I would tell my child. Not till it was much older, but I think at some point it would be proper to talk about it. Especially if the child was asking about it's father.

Since children deserve to know when someone isn't their father. Or they will know because he wasn't around when they were yojnger. Especially if the step dad came into their lives if the child was over 3 or 4.

 

[giz2000]

It's a very difficult and personal decision to have a child conceived by rape. I would not judge anyone who either decided to keep the child or have an abortion.

I saw that episode a few times...I think it's one of the best ones ever.

 

[MAC_Pixie04]

I live for L&O:SVU, and I've seen that episode dozens of times, and it still raises strong emotions in me. I could never keep a child knowing that it wasn't created through love, but through cruelty and violence. I hope that if I do ever have children of my own, that they're fathered by someone who loves me and will love them, not someone who'll hurt me or them through such a heartless, cowardly act.

 

[Shimmer]

There is a crime known as marital rape.

 

[MAC_Pixie04]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shimmer There is a crime known as marital rape.

I actually think martial rape/acquaintance rape is more heinous than stranger rape. Especially when it's a husband, relative or boyfriend. It breaks my heart to hear about those kinds of cases. I can't even describe how fucked up I think it is.

 

[Shimmer]

Trust me, you can't imagine.

 

[Raerae]

Yeh worst part was it used to be legal. Along with beating your wife, and all sorts of other stupid laws.

 

[Miss Pumpkin]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MAC_Pixie04 I live for L&O:SVU, and I've seen that episode dozens of times, and it still raises strong emotions in me. I could never keep a child knowing that it wasn't created through love, but through cruelty and violence. I hope that if I do ever have children of my own, that they're fathered by someone who loves me and will love them, not someone who'll hurt me or them through such a heartless, cowardly act.

I absolutely agree with you here... I respect anyone's decision, but I don't think I could keep a baby conceived by rape either.