crystalclear
Well-known member
Hey I'm looking for a little bit of advice on a matter, that to be honest, I would never in a million years have thought would occur. And I apologise for the length and any info that might not seem relevant.
In June mother was diagnosed with breast cancer, which was removed in July and on December 12th she underwent her final does of Chemotherapy, the next day my Dad took her to hospital because she woke up crying from the pain and she was told to go home, she was merely constipated. A 4 days later she was back in hospital with an infection and realeased3 days before christmas when her stomach pains started and to cut a long story shortshe ended up back in hospital and it turned out that there was a "growth" on her bowel, part of which along with the growth was removed on the 30th and she was in intensive care until today. They moved her to a ward which was crowded and understaffed (despite her needing close observation) at 2pm and not connected to her drip or given anything to drink (despite having an infection) until my brother and I went to see her at 6pm. They put the control for the bed at her feet where she couldn't reach it, leaving her to lie in agony and discomfort for all that time then told her she could have chicken or beef pie or a curry for her dinner despite being told only to have food you can drink as her body couldn't cope with solids. When she said this they said she was just refusing food and they wouldnt provide soup or even a yoghurt as she asked. My Dad and I complained to the ward sister who immediately accused my Dad of swearing at her (he didn't) and refused to speak to him. In the end I told her that starving and denying very vulnerable patients fluids was unacceptable and amounted to torture and I would be contacting a lawyer first thing Monday and I would be telephoning the local news and radio stations. Within 10 minutes my Mum was given her fluids, antibiotics and her nurse from the ICU came round and said he'd mediate and got her some soup.
But now I have discovered that some religious nutter in the bed opposite her said that "the smell of death is now in this room and it's coming from her" and pointed at my Mum. Unfortunately the ward sister seems very friendly with this woman and my mother is in pieces as ahe's in agony and she has to wear a turban on the ward as she can't wear her wig and that disgusting old bitch (please excuse the language) keeps looking over at her and whispering to her daughters, as mentioned above I can't go to the nurses and I am going to try and get her moved to a ward where she can get better care but in the meantime I dont know what to do and I'm very worried. I called the ward once the night shift (and different staff) had started and they were fine until they asked who my mother was then the nurse became rude, evasive and practically slammed the phone down on me. In rgaurds to her care I can nag them during visiting tomorrow to make sure she gets her treatment and try to get her transfered to one of the other hospitals in the city on Monday or atleast a different ward. But if not and in the meantime, what should I do about 1) the staff and 2)the nutter(the one I'm more worried about) who acts as if she's is just some benign, old christian lady (she isnt under the way I was brought up) when is aware of the distress she causes my mum and constantly makes insulting remarks about "the Scotch" (we're Scottish and live in England and it is well known that a lot of Scots find that term offensive- everytime she says it she has a side glance at us to see our responses and get a great deal of glee from the enraged looks between us as she believes we can't do anything about it). I'm at a loss as to what to do. Do I tell the woman to shut up (a bad idea under the circumstances), annoy the nurses until they do something (knowing they'll not do anything), confront her daughters (both more than twice my age) and ask them to tell her to shut up or face legal action (and put myself at risk of arrest-in England all they'd have to do is say they were afraid I was going to hit them and I'd be charged with assault despite making no threat or attempt) or do I make a complain of harrassment and racial harrassment to the police (could possibly backfire in light of who it'd be against and if her family went to the press, Scots aren't particuarly popular with certain sectors of the press)?
None of these options seem very good to me (the ward sister wants to ban my Dad from the ward and any excuse will do) but I can't not do anything and I am gravely concerned for her physical and emotional well being.
In June mother was diagnosed with breast cancer, which was removed in July and on December 12th she underwent her final does of Chemotherapy, the next day my Dad took her to hospital because she woke up crying from the pain and she was told to go home, she was merely constipated. A 4 days later she was back in hospital with an infection and realeased3 days before christmas when her stomach pains started and to cut a long story shortshe ended up back in hospital and it turned out that there was a "growth" on her bowel, part of which along with the growth was removed on the 30th and she was in intensive care until today. They moved her to a ward which was crowded and understaffed (despite her needing close observation) at 2pm and not connected to her drip or given anything to drink (despite having an infection) until my brother and I went to see her at 6pm. They put the control for the bed at her feet where she couldn't reach it, leaving her to lie in agony and discomfort for all that time then told her she could have chicken or beef pie or a curry for her dinner despite being told only to have food you can drink as her body couldn't cope with solids. When she said this they said she was just refusing food and they wouldnt provide soup or even a yoghurt as she asked. My Dad and I complained to the ward sister who immediately accused my Dad of swearing at her (he didn't) and refused to speak to him. In the end I told her that starving and denying very vulnerable patients fluids was unacceptable and amounted to torture and I would be contacting a lawyer first thing Monday and I would be telephoning the local news and radio stations. Within 10 minutes my Mum was given her fluids, antibiotics and her nurse from the ICU came round and said he'd mediate and got her some soup.
But now I have discovered that some religious nutter in the bed opposite her said that "the smell of death is now in this room and it's coming from her" and pointed at my Mum. Unfortunately the ward sister seems very friendly with this woman and my mother is in pieces as ahe's in agony and she has to wear a turban on the ward as she can't wear her wig and that disgusting old bitch (please excuse the language) keeps looking over at her and whispering to her daughters, as mentioned above I can't go to the nurses and I am going to try and get her moved to a ward where she can get better care but in the meantime I dont know what to do and I'm very worried. I called the ward once the night shift (and different staff) had started and they were fine until they asked who my mother was then the nurse became rude, evasive and practically slammed the phone down on me. In rgaurds to her care I can nag them during visiting tomorrow to make sure she gets her treatment and try to get her transfered to one of the other hospitals in the city on Monday or atleast a different ward. But if not and in the meantime, what should I do about 1) the staff and 2)the nutter(the one I'm more worried about) who acts as if she's is just some benign, old christian lady (she isnt under the way I was brought up) when is aware of the distress she causes my mum and constantly makes insulting remarks about "the Scotch" (we're Scottish and live in England and it is well known that a lot of Scots find that term offensive- everytime she says it she has a side glance at us to see our responses and get a great deal of glee from the enraged looks between us as she believes we can't do anything about it). I'm at a loss as to what to do. Do I tell the woman to shut up (a bad idea under the circumstances), annoy the nurses until they do something (knowing they'll not do anything), confront her daughters (both more than twice my age) and ask them to tell her to shut up or face legal action (and put myself at risk of arrest-in England all they'd have to do is say they were afraid I was going to hit them and I'd be charged with assault despite making no threat or attempt) or do I make a complain of harrassment and racial harrassment to the police (could possibly backfire in light of who it'd be against and if her family went to the press, Scots aren't particuarly popular with certain sectors of the press)?
