romantic relationships with coworkers

[kimmy]

at my place of work, there's alot of people who work there whose girlfriends or boyfriends also work there. it doesn't really seem to hinder their job performance (except for one guy, who NEVER does his damn job...i don't know if it's because he's over there flirting with his girlfriend who somehow always gets the same shifts as him, or if he just goes in the stock room and hides or what but...i digress) anyway, what are your opinions on people dating their coworkers?

 

[Shimmer]

bad bad bad idea.
In theory great, but realistically speaking the relationship probably won't last, and post breakup tensions are BAD juju.

 

[Beauty Mark]

I would go nuts. I need a break from people. I couldn't imagine seeing the same person all day at work and then on the weekends or at night.

The breakup factor wouldn't be good. If your ex is a jerk, you could become gossip fodder and just it makes a bad work environment.

Depending on the office, they may have rules against dating co-workers or strongly advise against it.

 

[DaizyDeath]

you know what they say you should seperate work and play. i think thats true plus theirs alot more annoyance if you break up beacuse you still have to be around that person and deal with them unless you quit.

 

[bottleblack]

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost two years - our relationship began at our workplace and once he found a better job I followed him to that company as well. It could be stressful/annoying at times at our previous job - it was a retail environment and people loved to gossip or try to poke their noses into our business. During the first stage of the relationship it was hard to keep the PDA in check. And, yes - there were times when it seemed like we never had a break from each other - but if the relationship is strong you get over it.
At our current company we deal in two completely separate departments, and it's a much more professional environment so most people don't know we're dating or care for that matter. But, it is one more thing that we have in common and I honestly love working with him. We understand just a little bit more about what the other person goes through during the day.

 

[geeko]

i think it's a bad idea too. I have a friend who had an ex working in the same company, in the same department AND in THE SAME PROJECT Team. They broke up recently, and now she finds it very awkward working in the company as the guy now doesn't want to talk to her at all anymore. And she has to communicate with the guy cause they are in the same project team.

I don't know how to advise her on what to do.

 

[MiCHiE]

It's bad.....not a good situation for the parties involved or the coworkers of the parties. I've worked many places where couples worked together and it was so damn uncomfortable or annoying for other people that people would wish they'd both leave/get fired. When one person is not doing their job or MIA because he/she is with the SO, it only creates tension among other employees.

 

[prinzessin784]

that really is a horrible idea. It always makes other employees uncomfortable and like others have said, what if you fight? Or break up!? There's nowhere to run and nowhere to hide haha. Plus when you're around each other all the time it gets hard to have your own personal space. You really need time apart from each other, your own friends, your own lives away from each other to maintain your individual sense of reality. I can't imagine how irritating it would be to work with my fiancee and then come home and live together. First of all, I don't know what we'd talk about if it weren't bitching about work haha, and then by that time I'd be so sick of him I'd rather be anywhere else, and that's not how I like to feel about him.

 

[d_flawless]

in every situation i've been in, whether it be in a restaurant work setting - which a staff of over 120 - or a smaller setting, it doesn't seem to work. people get distracted, people get defensive, and i don't know about you, but i would sure feel like an ass if i made a mistake and it had to be seen in front of my love...

 

[Raerae]

I agree and disagree with the prople above.

Everything they said is true, and can happen. However, some people really can make it work (lol get it

).

Sometimes it can be really hard to meet new people you find interesting, and on occasion the person you click with, happens to be a co-worker. I dont think you should totally rule out dating a co-worker, however you have to be very aware of the consiquences of such a relationship, should you choose to go down that path. Also the closer you work with that somebody, the more you should conside the consiquences.

Are you ready to have your love life discussed at work, with people you know and see on a regular basis? Do you really want the other guys at work who are your BF's friends, and friends of your BF's friends to know what position you like, how good you are at giving head, and any other special things you might like having someone do to you in bed? Or on the flip side, how much of a cold fish you are in bed?

I know I talk about my BF's with friends, and sometimes my friends are my co-workers. Are you ready to have him talk about you with your co-workers? It's silly to think that he won't. If your not ready to have all your c-workers know about your intimate life, DONT DATE AT WORK.

Not to mention other things that may not be a big deal, but are things you haven't shared with other co-workers. Thats not gossip @ the work place. Dont date if your not ready for that.

With that said I've dated at work, and had good relationships, i've dated at work, and been burned. But if your ok with the potential gossip, and mature enough to handle a breakup in a professional way, there is nothing wrong with doing it.

 

[..kels*]

Quote:

Originally Posted by prinzessin784 when you're around each other all the time it gets hard to have your own personal space. You really need time apart from each other, your own friends, your own lives away from each other to maintain your individual sense of reality. I can't imagine how irritating it would be to work with my fiancee and then come home and live together.

i completely agree. i'm sure it would get pretty tiresome being with your SO every second of the day.

 

[Raerae]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ..kels* i completely agree. i'm sure it would get pretty tiresome being with your SO every second of the day.

Some people really like that though. I think it really depends on the couple. I've seen couples who were amazing when they worked together, go south when one person moved on too a diff job, because the seperation ruined their relationship.

I guess that can also be a symptom of only have work in common, which could be a bad thing as well.

 

[kaliraksha]

I'm ok with mixing work with pleasure, speaking from experience. However, I think it depends entirely on the people, the relationship, and the place of work... so really, it varies a lot.

People wise- I'm definitely one of those people that has a decent work ethic... I stay on task, I don't gossip at work, I stay friendly with everyone, my boss only sees me as an employee. Also on the relationship note, I'm generally very easy going and respect boundaries. I'm very anti-PDA, I realize it's a priveledge to work with my beloved... because we can go to lunch together, I can IM him for questions I forget, I get to see him, we can carpool, etc.

Relationship wise- well I think there are two types of relationships that can survive the workplace- a really casual one or a very serious one. A lot of what matters in the serious one is whether the couple is dating as a result of meeting at work or you both applied to the same place. For casual, I mean as casual as it gets.

In respect the the workplace, I would not date in the situation where I had a career job. I think there is too much to risk in that situation. However in a more casual job then I would go for it. Also, nothing wrong with it if you schedule yourself on different shifts/days.

Lots of advantages/disadvantages- you watch your work flirting and you always have something to complain about during dinner =)

 

[claresauntie]

I married my coworker.

 

[VeronikaJ]

Don't do it

 

[MxAxC-_ATTACK]

HA! i couldnt even stand to date a guy who went to the same High school as me back in the day.. .

 

[LMcConnell18]

thanx to an article in cosmo! ahaha
i read that going to work is also convenient because it gives you a chance to get a break from your loved one! being with them at home, and then going to work with them all day can be hard.
but i dont see anything wrong with it... if you can handle it. and as far as just the whole work situation goes... as long as you dont overdo it and make others in the working place feel uncomfortable or upset your boss then it shouldnt be a problem!

 

[GreekChick]

Look at the bright side lol, at least u don't run the risk of having your SO cheat on you with the secretary.

 

[Another Janice!]

When it's me that has to deal with working with SO, then I'd like to kill him. (Years ago...in our teen years)

When it's people I work with....it's open season and anything is good for a laugh. The drama some people create in their own lives is mind boggling sometimes.

BTW...I'm a waitress.

 

[bAbY_cHiCkEn01]

I fell for a co worker, we got together and god damn it we still are together... after 3 years this April, so they can work BUT I feel you have to leave the relationship at the door when you go to work otherwise yes, your relationship will interfer with your work and vice versa, but it can def. be done!