Saving Money?

[user46]

I don't know about you guys, but i am the ABSOLUTE worst at saving money. It's like i work all the time ... and i'm still in debt because i don't think , i just buy buy buy buy buy. like, if i want something..and no one will get it for me, i WILL get it for myself. lol. it's getting to the point where it's getting sad. my boyfriend doesn't like to give me money or buy me anything anymore, because he always see's me spending my money. i've had him hold my credit card so i don't use it, but then we'll get into an argument and i ask for it back. knowing that i have bills, i still go shopping damn near EVERYday. if not everyday. if it's not MAC, it's forever21, it's old navy, it's something, anything. i'm starting to think i have a real shopping addiction. like with the mac ... i barely wear makeup about 71% of the time ... but i have makeup in here like i'm a pro. i have shoes stacked upon shoes in my closet. i have clothes and accessories with tags on them. and oh, the handbags .. don't get me started. i'm just sooo pitiful

and i try..really hard to stop (obviously not hard enough) but if i want something... idk something comes over me and i just NEED to get it. like i'm seriously thinking of cutting my credit card. but then i'm like damn ... what if i need it for something important? is anyone like this? PLEASE give me some tips on saving money!!


oh, and next month is my boyfriends birthday... and he's expecting something REALLY nice (aka REALLY expensive). and i want to give him that, because he .. well he used to always buy me stuff, and i never had the money to buy him anything that matches up to the calibur of the gifts he's gotten me. (sneakers, coach purses, digital camera, a ring). so i've been trying really hard to save my money for that, but it's hard.. i just don't know that to do anymore

 

[aliciaz727]

oh hun im a fellow shopaholic and i used to spend money just as much as you do. my friends called me the collector of everything pretty. but it had a toll on my relationship with my parents. we would constantly argue over my spending habits and it seemed like the only thing we could talk about. eventually i realized that i really need to do something drastic or else this habit is going to snowball out-of-control. SO... I canceled all of my credit cards. (that was really really hard). and I can only buy things with cash (not even bank cards). by doing this I can actually "SEE" how much im spending instead of thinking, "well i'll just charge it now and pay for it next month..." This took a long time, but thanks to all of my friends who helped me by occupying me with other stuffs (anything but shopping), im a lot better now. hopefully this is helpful to you, and can provide you with some ideas to start saving up

you can do it if you set your heart to it.

 

[Janice]

Cancel your cards or freeze them in a ziploc bag in the freezer. Exert real will power in telling yourself NO. Think about the goal of your boyfriends present, shop for it and find the best price possible. Then work towards saving for it's purchase. Just remember you're not doing yourself a favor by racking up high CC bills and the accompanying interest rate on those balances.

What helps me control impulse or "feel good" purchases is to think about my credit, my future goals (refinancing my car for a better interest rate), valuing everything I currently have, and realizing the need for more is simply a compulsion and easily dismissed.

BTW - asking your BF to help you by holding your CC's and then getting angry and having an argument simply because he is doing what you asked is really destructive to your relationship and his trust.

 

[sitasati]

oh god..i know how you feel. I think I'm getting there. I feel the need to buy atleast one thing from the new mac collections. This time I'm putting a limit on myself....100 bucks for 3 months. I'll spend a 100 bucks every 3 months for makeup and thats it! You need to have will power and the determination to get over the "urge' of buying. Remember those things you buy are not gonna help pay your bills or buy you a house or feed you. (I should take my own advice..and I will)

Feel better ..and dont worry. Just don't walk into malls or stores with the intention of buying ..excersize some window shopping.

 

[SparklingWaves]

I think it's harder today to save. The "things" are getting more and more tempting. I have to stay out of the stores or I go out of control. I think shopping can defiantly be an addiction. You go in an feel high buying things that you feel will make you look better and then the shame comes from the cost. It starts all over again. Things are getting more expensive too. Find out what is driving the addiction or compulsion. Is it feeling lonely, bored, depressed, etc. Meeting those needs will help curb the addiction.

 

[user46]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Janice BTW - asking your BF to help you by holding your CC's and then getting angry and having an argument simply because he is doing what you asked is really destructive to your relationship and his trust

No, we'd get into an argument about something totally different, then i'll get mad and just want anything he has of mine. Should've specified that, my fault.

 

[CantAffordMAC]

It definetly sounds like its becoming a problem. Especially the fact that you have brand new clothes with the tags still on, and makeup you never use. The only thing I can really suggest is seeing a counselor or therapist. This can seriously spiral out of control..and it already seems like you can't control it. There are a lot of books and tips on saving money, but it kinda seems like you're beyond that.

You have to realize that having designer purses and expensive makeup is great, and theres nothing wrong with it....IF you can control yourself and if you can afford it all in the first place. I can speak on this first hand because my boyfriend is $10,000-$12,000 in debt, and he's almost 22 years old. We have so many issues on spending money and saving money, and him paying his debts off....its such a terrible way to live. He made some dumb mistakes when he was younger and he wasn't even a shopaholic. We, as a couple, have to take care of his debts and it is SO hard. I think that since we're so young we should be going out, having fun, shopping, and just being carefree (but still smart about our money, of course) But we can't do that. We usually have to stay at home because we don't have the money to go out. And nice things???? yeah right..my boyfriend has not been clothes shopping in at least a year, because of his debts. We can't even get our own apartment until he fixes his background

I always used to spend my moms money on a lip gloss, or skin care or whatever. She thought I would be horrible at saving money, because I didn't understand it. But once I got a job, when I was 16 I started saving. It wasn't much but I saved. And it just got better with each job. At my next job, I was getting paid weekly, and at certain times I would have 3-4 checks saved because I didn't have to get them cashed yet (didn't have a checking account). So I had 3 checks worth about 200-300 dollars, plus money that was still in my pocket from the check I got cashed 3 weeks ago. I just limit my spending. Every so often I'll treat myself to a body spray, or an eyeshadow, but it's not that important to me. I only spend money when I feel it is ABSOLUTELY necessary, or when I feel that I can spend the tiny bit of money for something I want.

From every check I have, I save at least $100 (I don't get paid alot guys, so thats about half of my check). Whatever goes into my savings account DOES NOT GET SPENT OR TAKEN OUT, no matter what. I also have a big plastic bucket that i'm putting loose change into and occasionally some dollar bills. Nobody is going to give me money, my family is broke and me and my boyfriend are broke. So I have to do the best with the money I do get. I'm trying to move out of my house, and I can already see how much thats going to cost. I don't have any bills since I'm still living at home so I guess people can say I have it easy, but I think I am on the right track to saving money. I don't even have a cell phone anymore because I don't need it.

 

[user46]

Quote:

Originally Posted by SparklingWaves I think it's harder today to save. The "things" are getting more and more tempting. I have to stay out of the stores or I go out of control. I think shopping can defiantly be an addiction. You go in an feel high buying things that you feel will make you look better and then the shame comes from the cost. It starts all over again. Things are getting more expensive too. Find out what is driving the addiction or compulsion. Is it feeling lonely, bored, depressed, etc. Meeting those needs will help curb the addiction.

You know what, you're absolutely right. Like if me and my boyfriend argue, and i have no one else to talk to or be around ... i'll go shopping and pick up a few things. When i'm just home .. and not doing anything, i'll search online for clothes and shoes and whatever. Boredom and loneliness plays a big part in my addiction, i've just realized.

Well ladies, i've decided to do what i should ... after i pay off my credit card bill ... (should take maybe a month or two) .. i'm cancelling my credit card. It's gonna be hard, seeing as it's my first one. But if i don't stop now, my credit is going to be to shits. Or can you cancel it before paying it off, and just get billed your balance? I'm gonna look into it.

 

[yummy411]

i totally feel for you as i used to be an avid shopper before having a kid and not having much free time.

1- stay out of the malls.. you may even need a hiatus from specktra as this totally feeds an addiction for makeup. when you visit malls, you see, you want, you are tempted. do other activities like a poster said... go to the movies, soccer outside, volunteer with the less fortunate and you'll really learn how to value money.

2- freeze the cards

3- make financial goals and join clubs/groups.... they'll keep you on task.

4- find other things that comfort you... even when i get frustrated, indecisive, or stressed the first thing i want to do is splurge on makeup or a meal at a nice restaurant with wine and all to feel like a queen or something. that totally bugs me and i'm working to change this.

5- ohh last tip... have makeup or product challenges... just say for a month.. everyday you are going to wear or use something from your closest.. because i know you have enough to go around... it will give you a chance to use what you own and to see how much you really like it. you might discover some hidden or forgotten goodies =) ( i try to do this with lipgloss and shadows!)

you can do it if you really want to, but do join groups that will help and support you because having will power and keeping it up are two different things.

 

[user46]

I still live at home also, i'm only 18 bordering 19. My bills are car insurance, cell phone, prescriptions. etc. I don't think my problem is THAT far gone at all .. gone enough to see a therapist. I probably dramatized it up a bit. But i've decided to cancel my credit card...and just .. save. It's going to be hard. But i just have to try to do the best i can.

 

[yummy411]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MACpro__* I still live at home also, i'm only 18 bordering 19. My bills are car insurance, cell phone, prescriptions. etc. I don't think my problem is THAT far gone at all .. gone enough to see a therapist. I probably dramatized it up a bit. But i've decided to cancel my credit card...and just .. save. It's going to be hard. But i just have to try to do the best i can.

you can do it!!!

 

[Stormy]

One thing that's concerning to me here is that people are saying to cancel credit cards. That can seriously hurt your credit!! DON'T cancel your cards. Wrecking your credit will seriously hurt you in the future, you will have much more trouble getting car loans, or even an apartment or house. TRUST ME! You'll have to find another way to not use them. I am paying off some debt now and I know how hard it is. It does take a lot of willpower!!

If you have unused makeup and clothes, can you take them back for refunds? And put that refunded money into a savings account? I did that a couple weeks ago and it FELT SO GOOD!

I also have a savings account with a non-debit bank card that my dad has posession of, so I can't take the money out. I have a little bit of my paycheck direct deposited into this account...easy savings that I can't touch! Plus, anytime I get some xtra money from wherever, it goes into this account. Seeing the money add up in it is a MUCH better feeling than going out to spend.

 

[Hilly]

Girl I feel the same way! Im not in debt terribly (studenbt loans...acceptable- they get debited out every month) but I have an $800 balance on my CC. Blah. Not too terrible. I could bring it down easily, but my prob is saving. My fiance is so good with money (he makes more too). We are saving for a house and I've put in like 5% of the money where he has put in like 95%.

When ever I am low on cash or see crap piling up that I don't use, I EBAY it!!! Sell some of those things you arent using! Sell the makeup you dont need on specktra. It'll help pay off debt and itll feel good "purging" those items out of your life

 

[user46]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stormy One thing that's concerning to me here is that people are saying to cancel credit cards. That can seriously hurt your credit!! DON'T cancel your cards. Wrecking your credit will seriously hurt you in the future, you will have much more trouble getting car loans, or even an apartment or house. TRUST ME! You'll have to find another way to not use them. I am paying off some debt now and I know how hard it is. It does take a lot of willpower!! If you have unused makeup and clothes, can you take them back for refunds? And put that refunded money into a savings account? I did that a couple weeks ago and it FELT SO GOOD! I also have a savings account with a non-debit bank card that my dad has posession of, so I can't take the money out. I have a little bit of my paycheck direct deposited into this account...easy savings that I can't touch! Plus, anytime I get some xtra money from wherever, it goes into this account. Seeing the money add up in it is a MUCH better feeling than going out to spend.

Really? I never knew that. Will cutting your credit card be okay to do then? Because if i have the ACTUAL card .. i'll be tempted to use it. I know credit cards are useful. But i just can't use it. Thats the number one source of how i pay for all the goods i shouldn't be buying. I think i'll just cut it up to refrain from using it, then maybe request a new one, or say it got damaged when i learn to handle it better?

 

[user46]

Quote:

Originally Posted by yummy411 you can do it!!!

Thanks so much! Glad someone has faith in me trying to change! lol.

 

[banjobama]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MACpro__* Really? I never knew that. Will cutting your credit card be okay to do then? Because if i have the ACTUAL card .. i'll be tempted to use it. I know credit cards are useful. But i just can't use it. Thats the number one source of how i pay for all the goods i shouldn't be buying. I think i'll just cut it up to refrain from using it, then maybe request a new one, or say it got damaged when i learn to handle it better?

Just cut it. You can always request a new one, the company's not going to care.

I had this same habit, until I quit my $15/hr job for an $8/hr job and I suddenly ran out of money. Just tell yourself, this is how it is now and I better get used to it. Doing something like the $100 in three months thing is good. If you don't do something soon you'll be in like $12,000 debt before you know it, believe me.

Also find something else to do. For me it's reading, and window shopping. I also became a Mark rep and I find that buying other people stuff with their money is just as satisfying as spending my own money. Weird. Anyway good luck. It's gonna take a lot of willpower but you'll feel good about doing it.

 

[ZoeFerret]

I am addicted to shopping too. What helps me is not having access to credit cards- they aren't canceled just cut up. Staying away from malls. If you have a tons of brand new things- you should think about Ebaying them or selling it at a consignment store. If you have a ton of unused make up, clothes, ect. there is no point of having it. I know there's the what if's- I have the same problem- what if I need it later or want to use it later? But tough it out and just get rid of it.

 

[Hilly]

If you keep yourself busy with other things, itll occupy that need and impulse to spend...maybe organizing, cleaning, seeing friends, volunteering, reading, working out, sleeping, playing with the make up you have etc etc

 

[Love Always Ivy]

i definetly feel your pain! i have been working my bum bum off this whole summer and i swore to myself to put aside $150 each paycheck into savings and not touching it, but it always seems like i gotta use it all to pay off my CC and my phone bill. now, its the end of the summer and im going back to school and i have NOTHING to show for any of the thousands of dollars i had made this summer, except a pile of makeup i dont need and a credit card bill i cant pay. i really really wish i had better saving ability

i know i have a HUGE paycheck being Direct Deposited in on Friday but i feel like even though i know i should save it, im going to end up spending it all since i am going on vacation. i also catch myself getting a flutter in my chest when i see something i want and i make awful rationalizations to justify spending money, ESP on the sale/swap section here or when i go to sephora or even at my own damn store! i jsut get into this mentality that im in dire need of something i really have no apparent use for or i swear to myself that ill never find a better deal. now im swimming in makeup and brushes and clothes and shoes i dont freakin need! like there is no reason why i have 3 black dior show mascara back ups, or 16 gold eyeshadows. there is no reason why i convinced myself that i needed literalyl every color of Hollister polos, including different colored seagulls. ... to make things worse, im an avid anti returner, since i loathe those people who return things.

idk.... maybe read the shopaholic books and it kind of gives you a little perspective, especially when you start reading her awful rationalizations and realize that you make the same ones too.

 

[GreekChick]

Another great thing to do is speak with a banker, tell them that you absolutely need to open a savings' account, and that every single time your pay comes in, 50% automatically goes into it. And you can't touch it! Every single time you are going to want to retrieve it, you will have to force yourself to go to your bank, as well as pay interest rates. This is a really good way to save money, because you won't want to force yourself to go to the bank and retrieve that money, so at least you know it will remain untouched.