Self-reflection

[NutMeg]

Well I've been dating my bf for about 3 and a half years now. We, like most couples, go through periods that are amazing and periods where I personally wonder if its mostly habit that's keeping us together. Its hard for me because we live so far apart and I hate how when we are together I let little things annoy me about him. We worked through some minor issues this summer and I've been feeling somewhat distant from him for a few months. I just moved back to university, and its always a time of excitement and fun. I've been hearing about my friends' new relationships and I've been craving that new relationship feeling for a little while now. That and I noticed a hot guy, which hasn't happened in a while.

So I decided to journal about what I want in a relationship. And I totally just fell in love with my bf again. I figured out pretty quick that all of the big things I was writing down I have with him, and wouldn't be there at all in a new relationship. There are some things that I think we need to work on, but I just feel rejuvenated about us. We've been together long enough now that it takes some work to remember that he really does give me butterflies when I stop and think about it. We've kind of reached a new stage and I've never really felt like this before, so I have to take the time to appreciate him, and appreciate that even though our love isn't flashy and nervous and new and shiny anymore it still is amazing. I never want to forget that.

And with our problems I want to take time to reflect on how I contribute to those problems, on how I could be a better girlfriend and a better person. I need to stop thinking that I know everything about him, because every once in a while I'm confronted with the fact that he is a unique and multifaceted person who is so much more than just my boyfriend.

Anyway, that was more than half a personal ramble. If you read it, hope it brightened your day a bit.

 

[deven.marie]

i've been with my boyfried for 3 1/2 years as well, and sometimes i feel like im only with him because its all i know or because i feel secure. but reading this made me appreciate all the things he still does for me, such as opening doors for me and buying me an eyeshadow when i'm sad

it takes courage to look at yourself and see how you contribute to issues in a relationship, whether it be a romantic relationship or just a friendship. when someone else points out those issues you naturally get defensive, which is usually the case between my bf and i. i think i will try and write a little too and see if that helps me.

thanks for posting this! btw im in the same situation, i just moved back to school and the long distance is horrible.

 

[smexiebinks]

Wow, thank you for that.
I've been dating my boyfriend for 3 years now and the last couple of months have been rough. There were times when I thoght that we were never going to get back together or talk to one another.

Like you said, taking time to reflect on what you have done and how one can be a better gf is important. I believe that sometimes we get carried away with what we want to change about our bfs but we don't focus on the root of why we feel like that and we definately don't focus on what we need to change.

This brightened my day and gave me some hope.
Thank you.

 

[MACATTAK]

You are a very wise person NutMeg. Too often people put their unhappiness on their SO, instead of seeing what they can contribute as well. It's a two-way street, and both people have to be willing to work hard at it. I really enjoyed reading this

 

[Krasevayadancer]

Thank you for posting this

It is very inciteful and inspiring

 

[brokenxbeauty]

Aw, thank you for posting this! It's so sweet, made me smile.

 

[ms_bloom]

Thank you so much for posting this. Let's just say I know how you feel and that this was the perfect reminder that you need to be pro-active to make a relationship succeed