Small rant about "supporting others"

[Beauty Mark]

Why is it when someone is criticized for being thin/fat/white/tan/whatever, so many people think the appropriate response is to degrade the other side and don't realize they're doing the same thing the people did to them?

I was reading an lj community where a woman thinks people are staring at her for being fat in a class. Personally, when reading what she wrote, I think she's paranoid and terribly self-conscious. However, that doesn't bother me as much as they people support her by saying stuff about the thin women. WTF? It's not even the "look on the brighter side of things" type stuff (which I don't particularly care for but can understand), but flat out criticism.

Ugh. I just needed to get that off my chest.

 

[giz2000]

I have to agree...bashing "the other side" is not being supportive at all...

 

[Shimmer]

I think it's rude to call someone a lumbering fatass, but at the same time, it's also wrong (in my eyes) to tell an overweight person "Oh just ignore them, you're fantastic!!" because...hey, while they are probably a fantastic person, their health IS in jeopardy, whether they like it or not. Same goes for an underweight person. ANYONE who's not healthy.

People aren't equipped to handle criticism at all anymore, positive or negative. :/

 

[CaraAmericana]

Two wrongs never make a right!

 

[faifai]

All too often I see the same kind of stuff happen.

Girl wonders if her small breasts are attractive, she gets a bunch of replies like "you're lucky yours are on the smaller side, big boobs get saggy and have stretch marks! if they were big they'd be down by your bellybutton in no time!"

Girl wonders if her bigger boobs and hips are ok, she gets a bunch of replies like "don't worry about it, no guy wants to have sex with a skeletor!"

Girl is pale, replies go like "at least you won't look like a leathery old hag!" Girl is tan, replies go like "you look so hot, I need to tan my deathly pale ass."

It should be about spreading the love and support, not tearing down someone else to make one person feel better. There are ways to be supportive without lying to the person AND without bashing on others. No, I don't think someone should be made to feel insecure by others, regardless of whether they're fat, thin, tall, short, tan or purple.

 

[little teaser]

its funny you started this thread, i have never seen so much woman picking on others for the way they look untill i joined mu sites(not just this one) there is a thread on another site where someone on tv was calling jordin on american idol obese, all the girls on the site were piss like how dare her say that but at the same time they were in other threads saying a skinny actress is anorexic or someone needs to give her a burger.. im like wtf, i use to get really annoyed with these types of threads/comments but i came to the conclusion that these people arent only just picking on otheres there probley even picking there self apart with there own insecurities

 

[Beauty Mark]

It really annoys me, because if it's on the internet, fine whatever. However, I see behavior a lot in real life.

I'm still following the thread. WTF makes it okay to describe someone as a "skinny bitch"? Is it okay if I called someone a "fat bitch"? Why can't "goddess-size" include smaller people as well as larger people?

Besides being just wrong and petty, stuff like this bothers me because (and this where I get on my feminist soapbox, so you've been warned) while women sit around and pull this stuff, everyone feels bitter, prejudiced, and won't work together when we should be for the millions of f'ed things that happen to women.

 

[Raerae]

Hehe...

Or what about how if you get together with your friends, and all you talk about is what you hate about your bodies =p I dare you in one of those conversations to talk about something that you like! lol.

 

[Dark_Phoenix]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Raerae Hehe... Or what about how if you get together with your friends, and all you talk about is what you hate about your bodies =p I dare you in one of those conversations to talk about something that you like! lol.

I saw an episode of Sex and the City (Models and Mortals, season 1) where they're evaluating their bodies, compared to models, and only Samantha (Catrall) is comfortable with hers but then the others are somewhat nasty to her:

Samantha: I happen to love the way I look.
Miranda: You should. You paid enough for it.

 

[MsCuppyCakes]

I get stared at because I do like my body. I'm 5'8, have large breast. Whenever people say what would you change about your body, "I say nothing, I like my body." Which is usually followed by an awkward silence. It bugs me when women look another woman up and down, several times, and say nothing. It's alright to compliment another woman. I do all the time. If we can't support each other...oh dear I'm ranting.

 

[Beauty Mark]

I'm always pleased when people say they like their bodies without having to justify it. I like mine. I know I'm "flawed" but changing anything isn't worth it.