Stressed need to rant

[Mandypaul]

Hope this is in the right section.

Anyway i am so upset with my boyfriend, i dont know whether i am being stupid or not, so advice needed please. I am just so annoyed with him at the moment for the following reasons.

I dont know whether this sounds really stupid and petty, but i am upset with the fact that for the month or so, whenever we order food in, i say to him dont forget to say no onions because i am allergic to them and get very sick if i eat them. Now we have been togther ten years and he knows this very
well. Anyway every single bloody time he ordered the food he would forget to say no onions, even though i had just told him grrr.

I just feel that this is so thoughtless as he knows i cant eat my food then. I know i should order the food myself if hes going to forget, but sometimes i am busy putting baby to bed etc and i just dont know whats so hard about saying no onions. I just feel like he doesnt care about me as much no more


Also aswell again it sounds stupid, but i bought a new digital camera with a printer, and i am having trouble putting the printer together so i have asked him to do it, but it has been sitting there for a week and he still has not done it. He keeps saying he will do it but doesnt. It just gets me so mad as if he had bought and wanted it, it would of been all put together by now, but its something that i wanted and he just cant seem to find the time to do it. I know he works but when he is off work he could do it grrrrr just cause he works doesnt mean he cant help me when he is here, i bloody work too. (well going back in three weeks) but when i am on my days off i still do loads.

I am so upset though its just all these little things building up inside me and i just feel like ime going to explode, he always says that i am in the wrong, so i end up saying sorry to him

just so we can speak again, so guys am i just being stupid over nothing like he says or do i have a valid reason to be angry and upset.

Any help is so appreciated

Sorry i think i was meant to put this in love and relationships???

 

[CantAffordMAC]

Hmm...this sounds like typical relationship problems. I think you should just sit down and have a talk with him. Tell him that you feel as though he doesn't care enough about you to order the food the right way, and just tell him how you feel. Its probably better to approach him in a calm, nonthreatening way, rather then yell and scream at him. I think communication is probably the best. You need to let him know that he's hurting your feelings, or that you need help with putting something together, and maybe stroke his ego when you ask him. Like "Baby, do you think you can help me put the printer together? I've been trying to but you're just so much better at this kind of stuff than I am." haha, do u know what I mean? Or maybe you guys could work together to put it together (that sounds dumb I shouldn't have said together twice)

BTW, my boyfriend does the same thing. When I get mad at him about something, he turns it around so I end up apologizing.

Men...

 

[Mandypaul]

thanks very much i was just feeling really stressed and needed to vent. Thanks for the advice i am going to give it a shot.

 

[BeautyPsycho]

Think about it... Its probably something else other than onions and printer... i mean- other issues. Thats why those simple things stress you out that much.
Did he do something in the past that you didn't want to deal with and now everything he does pisses you off?
Thats a possibility.

If not, just tell him it really hurts you and he should think about what he does (or doesn't) do.


PS. I hope everything works out for the best, and don't be stressed... its not gonna do any good to you

Relax! Deep breath!

 

[NLoveW630]

Ok Breath my Dear. They say we as woman forget to breath.
Sound to me that you need to found out what his Love Language is, to get him to respond to your needs. Let me ask you something, in the past has he ever order anything for you right? And if he did, how did you respond to it?
There is a great author name Gary Chapman. Mr Chapman speaks about the 5 different Love Languages
1 Words of Affirmation
2 Quality Time
3 Receiving Gifits
4 Acts of Service
5 Physical Touch
We all have more than one for me, I love Words of Affrmation, tell me, "Yvette job well done" or touch my face or my stroke my hair(Physical Touch) watch me get up and clean the house or rub my guy feet when he has had a long day at work. Gladly and I could be so tired.
If you want change in your relationship, change you, change your speech and your actions. Change is not change until you change.
http://www.fivelovelanguages.com/learn.html
is the site with Gary Chapman book
Have fun..

 

[Mandypaul]

thanks guys, no he has never done anything he is the most chilled out person ever lol, thats why i get frustrated sometimes i think because ime like aghhhhhhhhhh and he is like chill lol.

Anyway i spoke to him and he said sorry and i said sorry for moaning, and everything is really good now yay

and i will check this out http://www.fivelovelanguages.com/learn.html aswell.

Thanks so much guys i appreciate it, i am trying to breath and relax when i get a little stressed, i think thats what i need to do instead of just getting upset.

thanks again

 

[nics1972]

Quote:

Originally Posted by BeautyPsycho Think about it... Its probably something else other than onions and printer... i mean- other issues. Thats why those simple things stress you out that much. Did he do something in the past that you didn't want to deal with and now everything he does pisses you off? Thats a possibility.

Excellent point. In my last marriage, it was one hurtful thng he said and that was the turnng point in our marriage. Somehow, afther that moment, something in me just died and every small issue would escalate. EFFECTIVELY communicate what you want to tell him. Use "I" statements. That will not make him defensive and he will be more receptive to what you are trying to tell him. Things and life have this weird way of working out i the end. The result might be good or bad, but the issue is resolved. Take a deep breath, calm down and when the moment is right, talk to him.
Good Luck, sweetie.