stupid whining me

[MissMarley]

i just need to get some feelings out, and they're whiny and stupid, and i know there are millions of people worse off than me, but i'm just SO unhappy right now.

i'm 22. i was diagnosed with fibromyalgia and rheumatoid arthritis at 14. So I have lived with chronic pain for a long time. the experimental drugs they gave me to keep me walking screwed up my brain chemistry, leading to clinical depression, panic disorder, bulimia, a couple of suicide attempts..

and now i have sciatica. which you aren't supposed to get until you're at least 30. and there isn't a whole lot you can do to fix it, except yoga and painkillers, but that just makes the pain stop for a little while. it's where a nerve or disc gets screwed up in your spine, and causes the nerve that runs from the base of your spine to the bottom of your leg to flare up and burn like freaking hell. so now i can't feel my foot and i feel like my leg is caught in a bear trap. my boss walked in on me crying in my office on wednesday, which embarrassed the hell out of me. i'm going to the physical therapist and the doctor, doing what i'm supposed to do, but i'm just so mad. i'm only 22. i shouldn't have to be dealing with this. i'm too young. it's hard to have sex with my husband because i can hardly walk or change my clothes, let alone roll around on the bed. (sorry if that was TMI). I'm just so frustrated. Asking "Why Me?". And that's stupid and pointless and whiny. I need to accept it, realize that in the grand scheme of life, I have it pretty good, and move on. But when every fking step I take makes me want to scream, it's really hard to remember that.

thanks for listening, friends.

 

[Corvs Queen]

Awww babe! I am so sorry to hear this. And go ahead, let it out. If it makes you feel better then it's most certainly not whining. Sounds like you are taking it pretty well in my opinion. I mean, hell, at least you attempt to put a positive spin on it. But take comfort in knowing that everyday the medical field is discovering new drugs to help ease or completely abolish certian medical issues. Who knows what the future holds for you and your problems. I know that my words might not help but I will for sure keep you in my prayers. Best of luck and keep your chin up. Like you said you still have things to be thankful for. (((HUGS)))

 

[Shimmer]

I'm sure it can be overwhelming sometimes.
I hope you can find something (whether it's medical or physical or homeopathic...) that makes the pain lessen.
You're not whining, btw.

 

[Another Janice!]

GO TO A CHIROPRACTOR!!!!

I had terrible sciatica when I was pregnant both times. Although I was told by many to go to the chiropractor, I didn't.

But a couple months ago, a friend of mine was in terrible pain because of sciatica. She went to the chiropractor....and walked out a new woman. I wish I would have gone instead of being in pain all those months.

It certainly couldn't hurt anything to go!!

Hope you feel better soon!

Edited to add...you are handling it very well. I wouldn't consider it whining in the least!

 

[joytheobscure]

I'm sorry, whining about physical pain doesn't count, It sounds like you've had a rough life already. I had sciatica when I was pregnant and I still can't lie flat on my back or it makes my hip hurt!

I"d look for a doctor who specializes in pain management. I think venting is a great outlet. I hope you can find a treatment to work for you soon.

 

[MissMarley]

unfortunately, i can't go to a chiropractor because of my rheumatoid arthritis- i can't have manipulation of any joints, because they're so damaged already.

i am going to a neuro-muscular pain therapist, and she's helping, but it's still...bad.

 

[colormust]

awww sweetie i am so sorry. i was dx is sciatica when i was 21. it really sucks.
have they ever sent you to have a pain shot

 

[valley]

hey MissMarley I'm sorry things seriously stink for you, and for no deserving on your side either. I know what its like to ask 'why me' and be whiney, and feel stupid for being whiney.

I'm 22, and I have multiple sclerosis. I dont need to get into my end of it...but if you ever feeling like ranting about how much things suck to somebody new, feel free to PM me. Talking is the only thing that has kept me sane through the crap of chronic illness.

 

[bAbY_cHiCkEn01]

To a degree I know what your going thru, My mom has systematic lupus and shes's just turned 40 in June... For sex, just a suggestion, and I'm not being stupid, bout how about doggy style, You can just sorta sit up and take it and you both end up happy or whatever LOL...

 

[Sanne]

Marley I'm so sorry to read this, I don't think it's fair!!! I'm not really good in finding the right words, but I want to let you know that I care and if you want to talk I'm here for you!

 

[giz2000]

Marley...sending you tons of hugs...and no, you're not whining. Vent away....

 

[ccarp001]

you aren't whining girl. have your ever talked to anyone (like a professional) about how you are feeling emotionally? sometimes that can really really help. hang in there!

 

[MissMarley]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ccarp001 you aren't whining girl. have your ever talked to anyone (like a professional) about how you are feeling emotionally? sometimes that can really really help. hang in there!

yeah, i went to a therapist for a long time, since i deal with all the mental/emotional stuff, but we never really talked about me being sick. i feel like i need to shut up about it, because there is always someone worse off than me. i hate telling anyone when i feel bad, because i'm afraid they'll get tired of me, or they'll think i'm a cry baby (i had a coworker who was SUCH a bitch to me- when I finally told her flat out what my health problems were and why i couldn't spend hours laying floor tile when we redid our office- although i did as much as i physically could- she said "well, we all have our sob stories, don't we?)

so i pretty much don't say anything until i'm ready to scream.

ya'll are so sweet to me. thank you so much.

 

[queenofdisaster]

aww honey, you are not complaining. we're all friends here imo and i hope i can be one to comfort you. i do hope things get better for you and keep us posted on how you're doing... if you ever need anyone to talk to, i'm here!

xoxoxoxo