Pascal
Well-known member
I have posted so many times on here about suicide and how badly I wanted to do it, I even asked for help.
I have made such a turn around since last year. Now even when things seem to be so bad I just can't give up, giving up is no longer an option. My relationship with my parents has improved a lot since last year. I have set some goals that are realistic to accomplish and I am taking little steps at a time. This year is a makeover year for me in every way. In my physical appearance, my mental health, my spending habits, and my saving habits.
I use to go to the MAC Counter the day a new collection would come out and buy eveything I could afford, even if it meant that I would be broke afterwords. Now I go and take a look and buy only the colors that I would actually use, and colors that are too different then anything else I have already bought from MAC.
I really have been strong lately, things between my parents have been rocky, as soon as they get over a stupid problem they start a new stupid one and it's just been a cycle for us at home. They fight and yell at each other like every married couple, we had a terrible holiday and bad New Years, the past two months have felt like I have been going to Hell and back. We spent our hoildays and New Years fighting and crying, it was a nightmare.
I have had a lot of weight put on my shoulders, I feel like if I wasn't here to comfort my mom when she's crying, then who would? and what would she do without me?
If I wasn't here to help my dad at work who would help him ? I feel like the glue that''s holding us as afamily together, I am the strong one, I am actually handling many things at on time and I still have a desire to live, I feel like a fighter. I cry at times because it is only normal, but I use to cry for days, weeks, and even months. It would take me so long to get over how I was feeling, when indeed there was no need to cry so much. In fact all the stress I have had over the past 3 years have worsened my eye site and my contact lense prescription just keeps worsening over the years, but I hope this year it will be more stable.
I am also off my meds and no longer have to see a counseler.
Anyways, sorry for ranting so much, I just wanted to share my change with you on here because I have been through a lot and I am doing so much better, I hope that people will read this and realize that there is hope for meloncholy, hope for the hopeless, hope for a tomorrow, and it will get better. It won't always be perfect, but don't waste your time and always be strong, in each of us is a fighter.
I Love you all thanks for reading
I have made such a turn around since last year. Now even when things seem to be so bad I just can't give up, giving up is no longer an option. My relationship with my parents has improved a lot since last year. I have set some goals that are realistic to accomplish and I am taking little steps at a time. This year is a makeover year for me in every way. In my physical appearance, my mental health, my spending habits, and my saving habits.
I use to go to the MAC Counter the day a new collection would come out and buy eveything I could afford, even if it meant that I would be broke afterwords. Now I go and take a look and buy only the colors that I would actually use, and colors that are too different then anything else I have already bought from MAC.
I really have been strong lately, things between my parents have been rocky, as soon as they get over a stupid problem they start a new stupid one and it's just been a cycle for us at home. They fight and yell at each other like every married couple, we had a terrible holiday and bad New Years, the past two months have felt like I have been going to Hell and back. We spent our hoildays and New Years fighting and crying, it was a nightmare.
I have had a lot of weight put on my shoulders, I feel like if I wasn't here to comfort my mom when she's crying, then who would? and what would she do without me?
If I wasn't here to help my dad at work who would help him ? I feel like the glue that''s holding us as afamily together, I am the strong one, I am actually handling many things at on time and I still have a desire to live, I feel like a fighter. I cry at times because it is only normal, but I use to cry for days, weeks, and even months. It would take me so long to get over how I was feeling, when indeed there was no need to cry so much. In fact all the stress I have had over the past 3 years have worsened my eye site and my contact lense prescription just keeps worsening over the years, but I hope this year it will be more stable.
I am also off my meds and no longer have to see a counseler.
Anyways, sorry for ranting so much, I just wanted to share my change with you on here because I have been through a lot and I am doing so much better, I hope that people will read this and realize that there is hope for meloncholy, hope for the hopeless, hope for a tomorrow, and it will get better. It won't always be perfect, but don't waste your time and always be strong, in each of us is a fighter.
I Love you all thanks for reading
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