Tell Us about your Mother-In-Law Drama.

[SkylarV217]

I'm Having issues with MIL and I was wondering what things other lady's put up with. I feel like my man has the weird unnatural connection to his Momma. like he feels she could do no wrong even though this has been proven several times.... Lets bond ;-)

 

[benzito_714]

my mil is cool but i do hate it when she asks me 'why did you do it this way' or 'why didn't you do this' it really gets on my nerves. today she did it when we went to the mall i dressed my daughter in long sleeves, jeans and rain boots because this weekend has been a wet one. my mil gets on me about that (jokingly) but its my baby and i don't need her to catch a cold. well lo and behold it rains cats and dogs while we are out and gets chilly. i really wanted to say i told ya so!
other than that i love her as my own mama.
p.s. i don't like to argue with my hubby around her, she always takes my side but its just weird

 

[NicksWifey]

Skylar, I totally know what you mean! Although I'm not married, I'm engaged and future MIL definitely does some serious trippin at times.
Let's see...she puts alcohol in their Easter baskets, even the two underaged children. She shows up at random times at our house, without calling. When she does call our house and doesn't get an answer, she starts frantically blowing up either one of our cell phones.
The icing that really takes the cake to me...is a month before my fiance & I moved into our own place, future MIL started treating me differently. Really cold & stand-offish to me. I saw her one day at a stoplight in town and pulled up next to her so I smiled at her and stuck my hand up. She smirked & nodded at me. Nick talked to me on the phone later that night and said his mom thinks I'm mad at her because she waved at me at a stoplight and all I did wa smirk at her and drove off...WTF?!?!?! I explained to him it was vice versa, but he didn't want to hear it. He asked me to call her and apologize to her but I told him to kiss my ass! Bitch had her game twisted, that shit made me mad.

 

[TUPRNUT]

Oh, Mother-in-Laws. What fun....

A few weeks after our honeymoon we went to visit the in-laws. My hubby was going through some mail over there and came across a credit card bill. Long story short, his mother opened a card up in my husband's name and transferred debt from one of his brother's credit cards onto this new card. She denied doing it althogether at first, then said that my husband told her she could do it. I'm a pretty calm person normally, but this was it for me and I freaked out... I told her how were we trying to be financially responsible, living within our means, staying out of debt, and then she does this behind our back. She just kept offering excuses.

Then, while I was pregnant she kept telling me not to get ultrasounds because it would hurt the baby. Over and over again, she kept nagging me about this. I was a parnoid pregnant woman anyway, so this didn't help in the least. And then in the middle of labor she calls my hospital room. She asks to talk to my husband and then goes on to tell him that she had a "dream" that the ulbilical cord was wrapped around our baby's neck. In the middle of labor!!!! Not like I have enough to freak me out as it was...

All in all, in the 5 years we've been married, his mother has been the center of many "discussions". I'm fortunate, in that my hubby always sides with me, but it's still a matter of trying to love a family member even when they're more than difficult to love.

I could go on, but I can feel myself getting angry all over again... and well, I'm trying my best to learn patience and compassion these days

 

[PolyphonicLove]

Uhm...AGES before fiance and I got engaged, when he was still in high school with me, my future MIL nagged him to leave me, because she believed I was the "typical black girl," and it got to the point where his mother and father argued with him so much about me - without having met me - that he actually DID leave me. Once she met me - almost two years later - she finally got over herself. The dad, I'm not so sure of. The rest of his family was pissed about it because they actually liked me [and I adored them].

 

[Girl about town]

Mothers in law can be tricky i love my mother in law now but when my fiance and i first had our son she did a few things that annoyed me. My fiances sister was getting married and having a small wedding i decided not to take my son because he was 18 months old and my parents offered to look after him, so my fiance and i could enjoy the day. My Mother in law took an almighty strop saying that if my son wasn't going then she wouldn't (so she could show him off at the wedding) Anyway i ended up giving in and taking him to the wedding!! I ended up spending the wedding looking after a toddler and no one elses bothered with him!!! i was raging.

Also on his first birthday i was out looking for a great cake for him, but she turned up with a cake she had made, even though she new i wanted to get him one!!! (it wasn't even a nice one either, that pissed me off too even though i appreciated the sentiment!!

 

[ratmist]

Wow. I think I'm really lucky. My MIL is incredibly sweet, kind and thoughtful. I'm going to have to give her a big hug the next time I see her.

That being said, my grandmother and my great-grandmother had a terrible MIL-DIL relationship. My great-grandmother didn't like that my grandmother wasn't a girly-girl (grandma was allergic to pretty much all cosmetic products and my great-grandmother wanted her to use them anyway so she could look good next to my grandfather). They were as different as two women could be. My grandmother was a plain (but beautiful) country girl, no fuss or frills. My great-grandmother was a hella-refined southern lady who worked as a buyer for Talbots for about 50 years; she always wore Chanel, made sure her lipstick perfectly matched her nails and handbag, etc.

They had so many problems and fights over the 50+ years of marriage my grandparents had. My great-grandmother didn't pass away until my grandparents celebrated their 51st or 52nd wedding anniversary. The drama!

 

[user79]

I think I'm really, really lucky. My "mother in law" (my partner's mother - we're not married) is such a fun, sweet and thoughtful person. We get along amazingly well! We even used to go shopping together and all that, when we lived with them for a while. I get along great with his father and his brother too, although his mom I just adore. I really love inviting his parents for dinner and just enjoy spending time together as a family.

Hearing these horror stories is making me count my blessings with having such a great MIL!

 

[crystalado]

My MIL was here for the holiday weekend and she left yesterday! I couldn't wait for her to leave. She never raised my husband and is more like a friend. She is also gay (which I do not have a problem with at all!), but she is very agressive. Even more so than any man that I know! And she wears a bunch a cologne and is just a mess! She is very nice overall, but very different from what I am used to. And no offense to people from New York, but she is NY to the heart! She can be loud and boisterous at times! Which can be very embarrassing when you are in a nice restaurant or out and about. She talks about people that she doesn't know really loudly! And the ultimate for me is that she has no respect for people in the food service industry! She wants them to kiss her ASS or she is not going to give them a tip! She was soo nasty to a waitress that I had to go to the back and apologize to her! My husband and I were soo embarassed!

She is such a mess! But I can't change her because she is my husbands mother!

 

[concertina]

Before she died, my MIL was a crazy controlling manipulative person. She had serious health issues and battled with a deep depression she refused to acknowledge. She kept an iron grip on her husband and my husband and was deeply hurt when he decided to go to college on his own terms and not theirs. Gee, I wonder why?!

She died about 2 years before my husband and I were married.

I wish I could have gotten to know her before she got so sick and controlling; my husband says she was actually a decent person in his childhood. Though, from some of the stories he's shared with me, I don't know that I believe that...

All in all, I feel pretty lucky. Because my FILs girlfriend is such an amazing, caring, thoughtful, sweet woman, 'hands-off' woman.

 

[ratmist]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MissChievous I think I'm really, really lucky. My "mother in law" (my partner's mother - we're not married) is such a fun, sweet and thoughtful person. We get along amazingly well! We even used to go shopping together and all that, when we lived with them for a while. I get along great with his father and his brother too, although his mom I just adore. I really love inviting his parents for dinner and just enjoy spending time together as a family. Hearing these horror stories is making me count my blessings with having such a great MIL!

Me too, all of it. I hope that if/when it comes time for me to be a mother-in-law, I can return the favour. Nice mother-in-laws seem to be a very rare breed indeed.

 

[Mizz.Yasmine]

according to her my skin is too dark compared to my mans and i dress like a whore i guess.

lol

 

[Lapis]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mizz.Yasmine according to her my skin is too dark compared to my mans and i dress like a whore i guess. lol

Mine is of the same mind, I'm darker than dh and it seemed to be an issue, and now my daughter is darker than dh or I

Of course the fact that as soon as dh told her he wanted to marry me, she pulled her I NEED you now card and he fell for it didn't help me like her more either, 3 years we were LD because she didn't want him to grow up

 

[SkylarV217]

Is it just me or do they seem okay .... until you get married .... then even worse when you have kids ???

 

[kaexbabey]

what bothers me is when she borrowed a large amount of money that was supposed to be for our savings! it wouldnt have bothered me if it was for an emergency but it wasnt! i mean, couldnt she have asked any of her other 3 kids (my husband is the youngest of 4)? we had just moved to where we live (which is all the way across the country, so we had no one or nothing), my husband is the only one working, we have a daughter, another kid on the way, and we're only 19 and 20! and it's not like she's poor. she's an RN!

 

[iluffyew769769]

My MIL is crazy. she talks to her self on a regular basis (she lives alone). But I can usually deal with that because I just kinda block it out and work on other stuff. But what drives me crazy is that she drops by out house unannounced and then complains that it isn't clean enough (It's not dirty either I clean like every 3 days.) She also won't let my BF be a man. She does his grocery shopping, makes his dr appointments, sometimes she even pays his bills.

I hate it. I just want her to find something else to do other than criticize me (I got to school full time and own a small business) as being lazy. I'm NOT the lazy one. She hasn't work in 25 years, and doesn't do anything all day, but complains about "how stressed" she is, and how she has no money, but she can afford to spend $5,000 to get her kitchen remodeled. I just want to yell "You try going to law school and working full time to pay bills, then f'n tell me I'm lazy."

I don't understand how she can sit there and do nothing and then talks about how I need to fix all this stuff.

Sorry for the small rant.

 

[SkylarV217]

^^^ Sorry about that girlie, they have the idea that they are entitled to criticize us when they honestly have no right especially looking at them ....

 

[euphrosyne_rose]

I am divorced, so my ex-MIL is the topic of lots of stories in my family from time to time. My ex husband couldn't make a move without talking to her first. I know it's great to get opinions and talk things out, but he basically always took HER advice and wouldn't even try to think on his own. She also was a smoker, which I don't have a problem with, but she tried to hide it from her husband and we all still knew she did it. She would go out on the back porch, smoke her cigarette, then come in and down about 20 Tic Tacs and douse herself in FEBREEZE!! That's right! She kept a small, travel size bottle in her purse and she would spray it on herself like perfume. She would even spritz some in her hands and run it through her hair!! Ewwww. It never worked either. She always smelled like smoke and Febreeze. Oh, and her house was always a mess. We would come over and she'd have garden clippers on top of the bar, a hanger in the sink, a random tennis shoe in the middle of the floor, etc. She would leave the butter and mayo out all day long, and she kept an open jar of peanut butter out on the counter with a spoon in it so she could take a taste every few hours. I hated eating in her kitchen.
She and my husband also went behind my back and got her doctor to prescribe Paxil for me b/c they both thought I was depressed. Talk about freakin' controlling. Don't even get me started on the doctor who DID write out the prescription!
My soon to be MIL is the sweetest woman ever. She's sweeter than my own mother. I don't think I'll have any problems with her, and she's told my b/f that she and his father just adore me, so thankfully I won't have that to worry about!!!

 

[SkylarV217]

Quote:

Originally Posted by euphrosyne_rose douse herself in FEBREEZE!! That's right! She kept a small, travel size bottle in her purse and she would spray it on herself like perfume. She would even spritz some in her hands and run it through her hair!! Ewwww. It never worked either. She always smelled like smoke and Febreeze. She and my husband also went behind my back and got her doctor to prescribe Paxil for me b/c they both thought I was depressed. Talk about freakin' controlling. Don't even get me started on the doctor who DID write out the prescription!

Ist note - You have to let the febreeze dry b/4 it starts to work ( i'm getting this mental smell of smoke, mints a feebreze)

2nd- Um thats Illegal .... Sounds like you are lucky to be out of that relationship.

 

[M.A.C. head.]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MissChievous I think I'm really, really lucky. My "mother in law" (my partner's mother - we're not married) is such a fun, sweet and thoughtful person. We get along amazingly well! We even used to go shopping together and all that, when we lived with them for a while. I get along great with his father and his brother too, although his mom I just adore. I really love inviting his parents for dinner and just enjoy spending time together as a family. Hearing these horror stories is making me count my blessings with having such a great MIL!

I hate to be the barer of shitty news, but, don't be surprised if that all changes if/when you get married and/or have children.

I had a great relationship with my MIL up until having my daughter. She has 3 sons so she was beside herself when she found out we were having a girl. She tries to play mommy and have her way with my child and I'm not having it.

I really don't like her any more, but I try my best to remain respectful.