DevinGirl
Well-known member
**UPDATE** **UPDATE** **UPDATE**
The appointment went well. Dave came in with me & I stayed strong, no tears. Plus there was a student Dr. with him & I allowed her to be there. Even if I'm uncomfortable I like to be part of the educationg process. Even the nurse was like: "You're an interesting case, so it'll be good for her to see". He couldn't do a pap smear today. With how sporadic my menstrual periods are I should have figured that it'd pop up today. Gr. But if it hadn't happened the Dr. would have given me medication to bring it on, so...no thank you, I'm glad it happened.
He did have the speculum inside of me & I didn't flip. He did feel around a bit, & said things felt 'normal'. So that was a relief. I have another appointment with him Monday to do the pap smear. I have to get some bloodwork done, a mammogram (if you can believe it!) because of the breast discharge & some tenderness. I'll also have to have an ultrasound & possibly a head scan to see if there's anything obstructing my pituitary gland. So pretty much I just needed this visit to get the works going. Hopefully all will be well & easily taken care of.
So I feel much better about things & this Dr. is SO SO nice & put me right at ease. I lucked way out. This guy is so nice, sweet, & doesn't make me feel like a slab to be poked & prodded.
So today was my Dr.’s appointment. Nothing happened. I mean when I scheduled it, I said I needed a Well Woman exam. The receptionist that I spoke with scheduled me. Then when I’m sitting there & the Dr. asks me why I’m there, I tell her. She doesn’t do well woman exams on 1st visits – apparently I should have been informed of this while making the appointment. Blah. Either way, I tell her about my issues & such. It wasn’t fun. The whole damn thing wasn’t fun. For starters the nurse person who takes blood pressure & stuff sucked & made me feel nervous. I was already nervous – I’ve BEEN nervous & that didn’t help. Gr. So, then I’m trying to explain my situation & suddenly I feel ashamed & embarrassed at my predicament. I know I have absolutely nothing to be ashamed/embarrassed about. But knowing that & having to tell a complete stranger about rape, pregnancy @ 14, & lactating for 9 years…is just plain h-a-r-d.
She’s the type of gal who doesn’t really know what to do when someone’s breaking down a bit. She was VERY nice, though. She seemed embarrassed for me & tried her best to comfort me. I wasn’t sobbing uncontrollably mind you…it was just shitty. What makes it worse is that I don’t really cry about it anymore. I’ve told a few people about my history & haven’t cried. So, I cry in front of her & she’s not even doing anything. *sigh* So, I felt really stupid. I know I had no reason to have felt stupid but, I did. I just didn’t want to cry. Crying does not make you weak, but I felt really weak. I guess I just had a bout of feeling sorry for myself & wished I could have had a different situation to explain to the Dr.
Anywho…she recommended that I see a gynecologist (she’s family practice) – her gynecologist to be exact. So she called & actually got me an appointment with him this week. I’m not wild at the thought of a guy, but…I’ve let this go unchecked for so long & won’t give myself the option not getting myself seen. She also seemed think that I might not be so far off in my self-diagnosis of Prolactinoma. She also suggested that particular Dr. because they have all of the equipment for detection of a tumor/cyst. I’m not scared anymore of Prolactinoma. They’re almost always benign & hopefully once it’s corrected & my pituitary gland quits pressing the overdrive button on my prolactin secretion….maybe I can quit being infertile! *yay* So…nothing today. But we’ll see what happens on Thursday.
Thanks for reading & please stay tuned for the next episode in your FAVORITE soap opera…As Devin’s World Turns
