theft...

[Sanne]

hey peeps.
Something have kept me busy for a month now, this is the deal:

my favorite shirt, a black sporttop from H&M with a build in bra, was missing for a few months. I've bought like a year and a half ago, and since H&M is changing their collections every season, I couldn't find a new, similar one anymore.
I kept seaching for it, and I've searched through my lil sis' closet a few times (even though she lives at home with my parents and I live with my boyfriend) but I couldn't find it anywhere.

Then a month ago, I saw my neighbour wear it!!! I was shocked, and I didn't know what to do. In our building whe have a shared laundry room, and I heard her complaint about people stealing her stuff, so I never thought she'd do it herself! I really like my neighbours, and I don't wanna get into a fight with them about a stupid shirt, it's not worth that much, but I gave this overwhelming feeling of betray that I could just let it go. She just had a baby and I helped her out a lot, and I bought her so much presents!

I kept thinking about what to do, and I asked a great friend of mine, who knew her as well, what to do, and how my neighbour might react. She told me to bring it gently to her, but I had to confront her about it!

So the night after that talk, my neighbor was over at my place, and this was what I said: " I was really wondering, remember the shirt you where wearing last weekend, the black 'booby' shirt? well I had one just like it, but I lost it and I wanna buy a new one. do you know where and when you bought it??" She told me that she got it as a gift from her mother, because it's so nice to wear a sport top with a build in bra, since her breasts where hurting because she just had a baby.

I knew she was talking bs, this shirt wasn't in stores for over a year, and her mother had just bought it for her??? I felt bad because I knew she was lying, but I couldn't say a word about it, how could I prove she didn't get it from her mother? So I figured I had to let it go...

but just now I was doing my laundry in the laundryroom downstairs... and I saw my shirt, and I took it! My neighbours will be moving within a month so she'll never know.
Do you guys think I did the right thing here, or am I completely out of my mind???

thanks for reading

 

[Ambonee]

If you are 100% positive that the shirt is yours then you are NOT in the wrong! She should never have put you in that situation to begin with. And if she sees you with it, tell her you found it at your parents house, turns out your sister borrowed it. That's what I'd do.

 

[MacVirgin]

i hate it when that happens!

hmmm this is a difficult one Sanne

.

If it was me, i would have confronted that person and just asked her nicely if she might have taken my shirt by mistake. And explain that that shirt is not in stores and so on and so on.

Sometimes you have to confront people with the truth cause otherwise they are gonna keep doing these things. people learn by their mistakes and if she did steal your shirt she has to realy be confronted with the fact she stole something and how much this hurts you as a person *and as a friend* too.

You know a friend stole something from me too and that hurt me so much. I confronted her and told her how much that hurt me and that firends do not steal from eachter or anyone. Also told her if she wanted that watch all she had to do was ask. I loved that watch! but i let her have it. Only the last time she got it, i give it to her as a present.

I wish you wisdom! sanne

 

[Shawna]

As long as you are positive the shirt was yours, then it isn't really stealing to get it back is it? I used to live in an apartment and our laundry would go missing too. I ended up having to take a book and sit with my clothes just to make sure they didn't get up and walk away. I'd just hide it until she moves, and if she took it in the first place, she would never have the nerve to ask if for it back.

 

[Hawkeye]

If you are 100% sure its your shirt then theres no problem whatsoever.

I know once while I was in college I had (stupidly never do this college ladies) bought myself a $20 shampoo but my hair had issues and it was a special shampoo to help my issues and i left it in there once and lo and behold it went missing. I knew who had done it (very much like the way you did) and I spread it around that the shampoo should be used very sparingly because it would strip any color out of the hair as it was a medicated shampoo. She was the first one I told. I went to the showers 2 minutes later-and guess what? There it was!

That's how they are I think she left it there because she knew you had caught her.

 

[Sanne]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MacVirgin hmmm this is a difficult one Sanne . If it was me, i would have confronted that person and just asked her nicely if she might have taken my shirt by mistake. And explain that that shirt is not in stores and so on and so on. Sometimes you have to confront people with the truth cause otherwise they are gonna keep doing these things. people learn by their mistakes and if she did steal your shirt she has to realy be confronted with the fact she stole something and how much this hurts you as a person *and as a friend* too. You know a friend stole something from me too and that hurt me so much. I confronted her and told her how much that hurt me and that firends do not steal from eachter or anyone. Also told her if she wanted that watch all she had to do was ask. I loved that watch! but i let her have it. Only the last time she got it, i give it to her as a present. I wish you wisdom! sanne

thanks so much for your replies!!!

I wanted to ask her nicely, but I was so nervous about asking her at all, that I asked where she bought it cuz I wanted to repurchase...She replyed with "my mother bought it for me" and there was no way I was able to ask her if she might have found it in the laundryroom, that's just not done!!
I am 100% positive it's mine, I've never seen anybody with that shirt yet(EVER, and it's a h&m), and when mine's missing she shows up with it...It can't be hers, I'm sorry, it's even the same size!! And to top all the things I just said, last friday when we where about to hit the town, she asked me if the shirt she was wearing was mine, because she'd found it in the laundryroom!

 

[MacVirgin]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sanne thanks so much for your replies!!! I wanted to ask her nicely, but I was so nervous about asking her at all, that I asked where she bought it cuz I wanted to repurchase...She replyed with "my mother bought it for me" and there was no way I was able to ask her if she might have found it in the laundryroom, that's just not done!! I am 100% positive it's mine, I've never seen anybody with that shirt yet(EVER, and it's a h&m), and when mine's missing she shows up with it...It can't be hers, I'm sorry, it's even the same size!! And to top all the things I just said, last friday when we where about to hit the town, she asked me if the shirt she was wearing was mine, because she'd found it in the laundryroom!

OMG Sanne!!

she said that?!? wow what lying biatch she is.
If she asked you that than it's your shirt! you know i'm so anal about these things... i just NEED to hear the truth come out her mouth. At some point i would have commented *after taken a verry long good breath* why the hell she told you her mother give it to her!!
That's just not right! or just say in between laughs and giggles *well i don't know girl, cause by some sort of miracle it apeared back in the laundry room

.

But i understand that her first answer did not give you a chance to furder confront her about it beeing your shirt.

But you have it back now! YAY!

 

[Sanne]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MacVirgin OMG Sanne!! she said that?!? wow what lying biatch she is. If she asked you that than it's your shirt! you know i'm so anal about these things... i just NEED to hear the truth come out her mouth. At some point i would have commented *after taken a verry long good breath* why the hell she told you her mother give it to her!! That's just not right! or just say in between laughs and giggles *well i don't know girl, cause by some sort of miracle it apeared back in the laundry room . But i understand that her first answer did not give you a chance to furder confront her about it beeing your shirt. But you have it back now! YAY!

yes I think I'm going to celebrate that as well

 

[mzcelaneous]

OMG. What a snatch! Good think you took your shirt back....I woud've don the same thing. I got no shame!

 

[MAC_Whore]

Something kinda similar happened to me! I lived in a 4-plex and we had a comunity laundry room. There was one guy in my bldg who always creeped me out. Soon I was noticing that bras and panties were going missing from my laundry. I never knew for sure it was him, but none of the other ladies appeared to have my bra size, so I kinda figured it was him. Bleaaa! I learned to keep a close eye on my laundry. I never left it alone. Man, I can only imagine (with a shudder) what that missing lingerie has gone through!!!!

 

[MxAxC-_ATTACK]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MAC_Whore Something kinda similar happened to me! I lived in a 4-plex and we had a comunity laundry room. There was one guy in my bldg who always creeped me out. Soon I was noticing that bras and panties were going missing from my laundry. I never knew for sure it was him, but none of the other ladies appeared to have my bra size, so I kinda figured it was him. Bleaaa! I learned to keep a close eye on my laundry. I never left it alone. Man, I can only imagine (with a shudder) what that missing lingerie has gone through!!!!

ewwww.what a creeeep..

but yeah. If i was in your situation i also would have taken the shirt back,..asap no shame.. haha.

 

[Sanne]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MAC_Whore Something kinda similar happened to me! I lived in a 4-plex and we had a comunity laundry room. There was one guy in my bldg who always creeped me out. Soon I was noticing that bras and panties were going missing from my laundry. I never knew for sure it was him, but none of the other ladies appeared to have my bra size, so I kinda figured it was him. Bleaaa! I learned to keep a close eye on my laundry. I never left it alone. Man, I can only imagine (with a shudder) what that missing lingerie has gone through!!!!

omg that's grosss!!! your poor lingerie!!! shared laundry rooms suck!!!

 

[Another Janice!]

I totally would have done the same thing. I sorta have.

Way back when I had a roommate, our lease was ending and we were both moving. She had a bunch of boxes in the living room, so one night when she was out, I carefully opened them.

That hoe had a TON of my stuff...everything from clothes to dishes to flea powder for MY cats. lol. I just took all the stuff that was rightfully mine and packed it into my own boxes.

The nerve of some people. But hey...you got your shirt back!!

 

[pugmommy7]

You lost it in the laundry room and you found it there.
enough said. You know in your heart that it is yours,we just tell ourselves all the other stuff because it is ethical.
She left the door open for you to get it back,after your very well done confrontation.
(lets get real

Hugs,
jennifer
and ps-previous poster- the same thing happened to me!
my former roomate skipped out on me while i was on vaca, when i returned she left with all of "her" stuff. luckily she continued to pay her share of the rent for the rest of the time...but, she asked me to let her dogs out a month later, when she went away, and i found a shitload of my stuff- you bet i took it-shoes/my fave coffeemug....)

 

[Beauty Mark]

So was it left there or was it in a pile of her clothes? As long as it really was your shirt, you did nothing wrong.

In the future, what I would do is sit down in the laundry room with your laundry the entire time. Bring a book or something to do. It sucks, but laundry theft happens so much and so easily, even for stupid stuff. If you don't want to for some reason and this happens again, I'd confront the person in question. Just say something like, "Hey, I've been missing a shirt that looks a lot like that one. By any chance did you accidentally confuse your things with mine?" Things can ugly if you're too confrontational, but I think a more direct approach is better.