blazeno.8
Well-known member
This is really long, so if you just want to see where you guys come in, skip down to the bold face that says "where you come in".
Ok, so I have really been debating whether or not I should ask anyone about this, but here goes:
There is this person I know who seems to be not the greatest with interpersonal relationships and when I first met him I didn't really notice that. We chatted and it was cool, I relearned his names several times because I'm not the greatest with names.
One day when I was headed to class and kind of late, this guy stops me to chat, but I tell him that I have to go because I'm late and he's like "Oh, so you're just going to end the conversation like that? Fine walk away from the conversation!" I mean, I had made it quite clear that I was going to class so wtf with that response?
Another day I was having brunch with a good friend at a table and this guy comes to our table (invites himself to sit) and then our conversation completely turns to him. He talked about how some people characterized him as "obsessive" and how he sees that it might be true. Later on that week, I was having dinner with my friend (a favorite past time activity is having dinner and chatting in Spanish). This guy comes and sits down and called my friend a Cassanova. This bothered my friend because he didn't really know the guy and he just made a call about his personality. Granted, a lot of girls think my friend is a flirt because things that are culturally normal for my friend is considered flirting here.
In short, after this, I was walking home and and this guy found me on my way home and told me that I was someone who hated life because I told him that my coffee was cold after he had assumed it was warm. He probably thought he was making a joke, but it's just something that side swipes you from left field and you can't really "appreciate it's humorous value".
Later on I found out that he was looking at what I was doing over my shoulder in one of our computer labs because of comments that he would make about things I was doing on my computer and after that day, I just started to ignore him. It took him a while to catch onto what I was doing, but eventually he got it... or so I thought.
Recently he's been trying to butt into my conversations with other people or get a conversation going with me from conversations I'm having with other people. He even did it with one of our professors, but the problem is that most people respond to him so I usually end up killing the conversation by not responding the part of the conversation that he initiated. If he weren't trying to talk to me, then he would just continue the conversation with them (which happens every now and then), but all to often the whole conversation just dies. I thought it was territorial at first, someone ignores you and then you feel the need to reassert your space, but it seems a little more than that because he's reasserted his space. People don't ignore him just because I'm around. Maybe I'm just still too dominant in that I can control the conversation through silence which he can't do.
I even notice that it's extended from conversations to stares and personal space. I noticed before that he would look at me in a way that I didn't too much care for, but now I've noticed him out and out staring at me. I even noticed that he's gotten closer to me than I've cared for him to be at times when he's trying to butt into conversations with other people.
Other people have told me that he behaves strangely, but I get the feeling it's just a question of conversational cues with them and not extended staring sessions or getting extremely close to them. He even got into a confrontation with a friend of mine in my department who is one of the most gentle people you could ever imagine, and this confrontation happened at a "study get together [party]" that people in my department were having for our juniors. This guy isn't even in our department but probably saw people hanging out and wanted to join in.
Where you come in:
I don't know if I should talk to him and tell him why I don't want anything to have to do with him. I don't know if he fully understands (I think he does because at sometimes he's admitted that he jumped into the middle of conversations when he shouldn't have), but at the same time I'm worried that if I do talk to him he will take it as "extreme measures = response". What would you guys suggest?
Ok, so I have really been debating whether or not I should ask anyone about this, but here goes:
There is this person I know who seems to be not the greatest with interpersonal relationships and when I first met him I didn't really notice that. We chatted and it was cool, I relearned his names several times because I'm not the greatest with names.
One day when I was headed to class and kind of late, this guy stops me to chat, but I tell him that I have to go because I'm late and he's like "Oh, so you're just going to end the conversation like that? Fine walk away from the conversation!" I mean, I had made it quite clear that I was going to class so wtf with that response?
Another day I was having brunch with a good friend at a table and this guy comes to our table (invites himself to sit) and then our conversation completely turns to him. He talked about how some people characterized him as "obsessive" and how he sees that it might be true. Later on that week, I was having dinner with my friend (a favorite past time activity is having dinner and chatting in Spanish). This guy comes and sits down and called my friend a Cassanova. This bothered my friend because he didn't really know the guy and he just made a call about his personality. Granted, a lot of girls think my friend is a flirt because things that are culturally normal for my friend is considered flirting here.
In short, after this, I was walking home and and this guy found me on my way home and told me that I was someone who hated life because I told him that my coffee was cold after he had assumed it was warm. He probably thought he was making a joke, but it's just something that side swipes you from left field and you can't really "appreciate it's humorous value".
Later on I found out that he was looking at what I was doing over my shoulder in one of our computer labs because of comments that he would make about things I was doing on my computer and after that day, I just started to ignore him. It took him a while to catch onto what I was doing, but eventually he got it... or so I thought.
Recently he's been trying to butt into my conversations with other people or get a conversation going with me from conversations I'm having with other people. He even did it with one of our professors, but the problem is that most people respond to him so I usually end up killing the conversation by not responding the part of the conversation that he initiated. If he weren't trying to talk to me, then he would just continue the conversation with them (which happens every now and then), but all to often the whole conversation just dies. I thought it was territorial at first, someone ignores you and then you feel the need to reassert your space, but it seems a little more than that because he's reasserted his space. People don't ignore him just because I'm around. Maybe I'm just still too dominant in that I can control the conversation through silence which he can't do.
I even notice that it's extended from conversations to stares and personal space. I noticed before that he would look at me in a way that I didn't too much care for, but now I've noticed him out and out staring at me. I even noticed that he's gotten closer to me than I've cared for him to be at times when he's trying to butt into conversations with other people.
Other people have told me that he behaves strangely, but I get the feeling it's just a question of conversational cues with them and not extended staring sessions or getting extremely close to them. He even got into a confrontation with a friend of mine in my department who is one of the most gentle people you could ever imagine, and this confrontation happened at a "study get together [party]" that people in my department were having for our juniors. This guy isn't even in our department but probably saw people hanging out and wanted to join in.
Where you come in:
I don't know if I should talk to him and tell him why I don't want anything to have to do with him. I don't know if he fully understands (I think he does because at sometimes he's admitted that he jumped into the middle of conversations when he shouldn't have), but at the same time I'm worried that if I do talk to him he will take it as "extreme measures = response". What would you guys suggest?
