troubles with the ex

kimmy

Well-known member
so, my first real relationship was six months in the making and lasted nine months, for four months after i broke up with the guy he would constantly tell me how he was going to kill himself if i wouldn't be with him and how he'd rather be dead than without me. almost everything he told me during our relationship was a lie, and i got over those. i thought that maybe when he said i was the only one for him and that he'd never be able to move on, that was true. i don't know why...but i just didn't want all those months wasted, so i made myself believe something he said, and it just happened to be those things.

it really messed with my head, knowing how "depressed" he was because i broke it off and i haven't been in a relationship since then (it's now been almost seven months) because i'm worried that any relationship i get into is going to turn into that charade of a relationship we had, and that i'll end up with another ex that constantly guilt trips me which i really just can't deal with. it got so bad to where i almost relapsed into some bad old habits that with the help of the best friend in the world, i've stayed away from for abour four years now.

some of you veteran specktrettes might remember me posting about him ages ago, when he'd call me all the time but never make time to see me. well, come to find out..he met this girl at one of his band's shows, and he's doing to her what he did to me so long ago. also come to find out, he was still guilt tripping me even after he had met and started chasing her.

there are so many things wrong with this. he always told me he couldn't even imagine finding a romantic interest at a show, but now it has me thinking how many girls he met at the few shows i wasn't at. he's lied to me about girls before, there's three that i know of...but it begs the question: how many more? and it kills me that he's putting this girl through what he put me through, because it was the most horrible experience of my life when he was doing that to me. i wish i could save her from him.

this whole thing just has me so upset...i mean, the things he did have messed me up probably for life because i have severe trust issues now and i'm afraid of romantic relationships which at nineteen, i shouldn't be. and it seems to me like he's doing all these things on purpose, lining things up perfectly and making everything so blatant to the right people that there's no way i won't find out about this stuff. and what's worse, is he still won't apologize for all the wrong he's done. the best i've ever gotten from him was "i know i fucked up." that isn't good enough...i just want an "i'm sorry."
ssad.gif


sorry this is so long, i just really don't know what to do. advice?
 

Beauty Mark

Well-known member
I would cut him out of my life. He sounds really bad for you, honestly.

You could try speaking to the poor girl, but you'll probably come off as the jealous ex.
 

sexypuma

Well-known member
ITA with beautyMark. Let him go. No good can come out of seeing him ( as ong as he is behaving like an ass). The more you hang out with this type of person, the more they screw you up. As for the girl, people need to make their own mistakes. Unless she is already convinced that he is a jerk, you will be perceived as a jealous ex.
Good luck. You will eventually meet the right one for you.
 

MACATTAK

Well-known member
I agree with both of the above, just move on. Obviously he didn't kill himself, so he's trying to just make you feel bad & guilty. The faster you move on, the faster you will be available for someone great!
 
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