Ugh I am so not looking forward to this

[Hawkeye]

Christmas. I have to go to my cousins. It's a bad situation-if I do not go then I am being "disloyal" to the family but if I do go I'm going to be suckered into asking a ton of questions and many of my family do not understand subtle answers, and if I should tell them point blank, " it's none of your business" then suddenly I am being a bad person.

I am JUST not ready for this. I am going to get sick (and then maybe so I won't be there!)

I can't really explain it. Just some of the questions that get asked make you feel so violated. And the problem is I am very private person, I don't talk about my finances and certain personal matters but the family-they insist on knowing and they dont stop they just dont take hints and I cant be my blunt self.

GAH

Does anyone else have horrible family members that does this crap?

 

[Bernadette]

I can relate. I have a few family members that pretty much give me the third degree and I hate even saying anything because no matter what the answer they seem to disapprove. It feels like they are mostly trying to get some kind of dirt on me. They seem utterly disapointed when I tell them how wonderful I'm doing and how great my life is.
I have a few tottaly crazy family members but they've pretty much been ousted and I don't have to worry about dealing with them, thank God.
Ever since I was very young I've taken on the role of the person that puts people in their place. I kind of just go ahead and answer them as snidely and bitchy as I feel because at this point it doens't matter. They'll have something negative to say no matter how I react :shrug:
Oh the lovely sides of the holidays!

 

[MAC_Whore]

I hear you. My family never asks about finances or deeply private things. We all just kind of go by the rule of "if you need to talk about it, you'll bring it up". We have fantastic communication, we just still respect the others privacy.

When I am around other friend's families who "assult"

them with some pretty intense questions, I get soooo uncomfortable.

Before your party, come up with some good segues into other topics so that you can fend off the prying questions. Or, you could distract them by learning to juggle flaming knives. Well, stick with the segues instead.

Good luck, hon.

 

[Raerae]

I always prefer the answer a question with a question method of deflecting family members who love to pry.

Give a short answer that doesn't really say much, and then ask them a ton of questions. This way your still "talking" but it's about them, instead of you.

 

[MAC_Whore]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Raerae I always prefer the answer a question with a question method of deflecting family members who love to pry. Give a short answer that doesn't really say much, and then ask them a ton of questions. This way your still "talking" but it's about them, instead of you.

Ahhh, good one. The "I would love to hear all about you" strategy. People love to talk about themselves. Can't go wrong with that one!

Or again, there is the flaming knives.

 

[Beauty Mark]

Happens. People in my family think it's their God-given right to know my finances (including how much I make), rent, price of my cat, utility bills, sexuality, grades, and so on. If they were affected by any of that, I could maybe see why, but they never helped me, so it's none of their business.

I stopped caring about how they feel if I tell them it's none of their business. Because I live fairly far away from them and they know I'm financially independent, I can threaten to cut myself off from them and make good with my word. It's evil, but I can't help myself sometimes

 

[Raerae]

Yeh serious... I use this method on my dad all the time... He loves to talk about his job and can go on forever. This way we leave feeling like we "had something to talk about" even though it was all about him.

People love to ham it up, especially about themselves... LOL!