kimmy
Well-known member
so again, i'm pretty lost with a certain situation. and i feel like there's only a few people left i can ask for advice on this matter. i've gotten it from nearly all of them, but there's one who remains...and he's the one i need advice on.
basically, i met this guy online, his band was looking for a second guitarist. we got to talking and talking and talking. months, we talked constantly online. he gave me his number and always told me to call him, but i HATE talking on the phone so i never did until we were going to a friend of mine's show downtown. i'd been wanting to meet this fool for about a year, so i called and asked if he wanted to come. he couldn't, but i found that night that i LOVE talking to him.
so he started calling me everyday. and i loved it. we talked until 1/2/3/4 in the morning almost every night. somehow we got into the whole idea of a relationship [even though we still haven't actually met] i said something a few weeks later about the possibility of me moving to costa mesa [which is about 35 miles away] for cosmetology school. in which case, i'd only be home on the weekends usually. he didn't like the thought of that and got really fucked up over the whole "long distance" thing.
he quit calling. he wouldn't answer when i called him. he wouldn't return my calls.
when i finally did get ahold of him, i told him he needed to chill out. first, the plan for costa mesa wasn't for sure, and by the time i got ahold of him, my plans had changed to make it easier on my dad, so now i'm going to a school about 10 miles from my house. oh, and second, WE STILL NEVER MET.
whatev. he calmed down, he let it go. it was sort of back to how it was before the whole "long distance" thing. then i started being a bitch because i basically watched my grandmother slowly kill my grandfather.
it was really difficult for me, knowing that someone like her was going to outlive him, and that my grandfather wasn't going to be around anymore. it was extremely difficult because him being at my high school graduation was always a really big deal to me, and i began to realize that it probably wouldn't happen. i was having problems and it's not in my nature to share my problems with other people. EVER [how ironic haha. i seem to be contradicting myself] he asked what was wrong, i told him that there was nothing he could do so it was pointless to talk about it. he finally got me to tell him, i was nearly in tears on the phone with him for three hours. a few hours after i got off the phone with him, my dad called me and told me that my grandfather had in fact died. while i was at their house, next to my dad who was almost in tears as well, i thought of what this guy had told me. and it might sound stupid, but it seemed to make the whole thing a little easier for me to handle.
the day of my grandfather's funeral, i pretty much fell apart in my sister's arms and when i got home, i refused to talk to anyone. even him. he tried, but i would have none of it. i decided around 11pm that i needed to talk to him and we talked until like 5am.
he's so sweet. and everytime that i think nothing can make me feel better, he can. we're supposed to be going to a show on the 30th. and he still says that he wants a relationship. he was friends with a veryyy good friend of mine, and this friend tells me that he's a good man.
i'm just kind of wondering, if something doesn't work out and i don't get to see him soon, should i wait? i've already turned people down for him...am i wrong to turn people that i know down for someone i've yet to meet? am i stupid to think that this could actually be something?
help, please
ps. sorry for the long post...i seem to be getting very long winded with you lovely specktra folk, thanks for putting up with it all the time haha <3
basically, i met this guy online, his band was looking for a second guitarist. we got to talking and talking and talking. months, we talked constantly online. he gave me his number and always told me to call him, but i HATE talking on the phone so i never did until we were going to a friend of mine's show downtown. i'd been wanting to meet this fool for about a year, so i called and asked if he wanted to come. he couldn't, but i found that night that i LOVE talking to him.
so he started calling me everyday. and i loved it. we talked until 1/2/3/4 in the morning almost every night. somehow we got into the whole idea of a relationship [even though we still haven't actually met] i said something a few weeks later about the possibility of me moving to costa mesa [which is about 35 miles away] for cosmetology school. in which case, i'd only be home on the weekends usually. he didn't like the thought of that and got really fucked up over the whole "long distance" thing.
he quit calling. he wouldn't answer when i called him. he wouldn't return my calls.
when i finally did get ahold of him, i told him he needed to chill out. first, the plan for costa mesa wasn't for sure, and by the time i got ahold of him, my plans had changed to make it easier on my dad, so now i'm going to a school about 10 miles from my house. oh, and second, WE STILL NEVER MET.
whatev. he calmed down, he let it go. it was sort of back to how it was before the whole "long distance" thing. then i started being a bitch because i basically watched my grandmother slowly kill my grandfather.
it was really difficult for me, knowing that someone like her was going to outlive him, and that my grandfather wasn't going to be around anymore. it was extremely difficult because him being at my high school graduation was always a really big deal to me, and i began to realize that it probably wouldn't happen. i was having problems and it's not in my nature to share my problems with other people. EVER [how ironic haha. i seem to be contradicting myself] he asked what was wrong, i told him that there was nothing he could do so it was pointless to talk about it. he finally got me to tell him, i was nearly in tears on the phone with him for three hours. a few hours after i got off the phone with him, my dad called me and told me that my grandfather had in fact died. while i was at their house, next to my dad who was almost in tears as well, i thought of what this guy had told me. and it might sound stupid, but it seemed to make the whole thing a little easier for me to handle.
the day of my grandfather's funeral, i pretty much fell apart in my sister's arms and when i got home, i refused to talk to anyone. even him. he tried, but i would have none of it. i decided around 11pm that i needed to talk to him and we talked until like 5am.
he's so sweet. and everytime that i think nothing can make me feel better, he can. we're supposed to be going to a show on the 30th. and he still says that he wants a relationship. he was friends with a veryyy good friend of mine, and this friend tells me that he's a good man.
i'm just kind of wondering, if something doesn't work out and i don't get to see him soon, should i wait? i've already turned people down for him...am i wrong to turn people that i know down for someone i've yet to meet? am i stupid to think that this could actually be something?
help, please
ps. sorry for the long post...i seem to be getting very long winded with you lovely specktra folk, thanks for putting up with it all the time haha <3
