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[MissMarley]

If the thought of being pregnant fills me with absolute and utter horror, does that mean i don't love my husband enough? i don't like children, i don't ever want them, and the thought of having that much of a tie to someone else (by having a kid with them) terrifies me. i love my husband. but does this mean i don't love him like i'm supposed to?

(woke up in a panic attack today because the condom broke on wednesday night)- of course i got my period yesterday and i use the nuva-ring (had taken it out tuesday)- and the condom also had spermicide- so what are my real chances of being pregnant? i still woke up hyperventilating and crying and i need to take another xanax now.

 

[little teaser]

dont panic there is a thing called the after pill for accidents just like this so if it happens again call whoever you get your birthcontrol from, but you have to do it within 24 hours.
imo just cause you dont want a child doesnt mean you love your husband anyless than people who choose to have kids with there spouse, as long as you too have talk about this befor going in the marriage and agreed that it was ok if one or both didnt want kids you shouldnt have guilt.

 

[prinzessin784]

I don't think wanting or not wanting children has anything to do with how much you love your husband. Some people just don't want to have kids, for varying reasons, and that's perfectly fine!

 

[kimmy]

i don't think wanting or not wanting kids says anything about how much you love someone. some people just don't want kids, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that, but t doesn't mean those people can't love someone else (like a spouse) as fully and as unconditionally as someone who does want kids.

 

[MACATTAK]

When I went for my BC (1 week ago), I was given a pill that the nurse said could be used for up to 5 days after.

 

[Shimmer]

I don't think it says anythign about your relationship with your husband.

I'd check with an OBGYN about a morning after pill or something like that, just in case.

 

[jenii]

Not wanting kids doesn't mean you don't love your husband "enough." It just means you don't want kids. Having kids isn't right for everybody.

 

[semtexgirl]

Quote:

Originally Posted by jenii Not wanting kids doesn't mean you don't love your husband "enough." It just means you don't want kids. Having kids isn't right for everybody.

Definately agree

! Kids aren't for everyone. Doesn't mean you love your husband any less than someone who wants kids.

 

[MxAxC-_ATTACK]

if your on your period right now, the chances that you are prego are pretty slim . (not saying its not possible ) but its sooo very rare.

plus kids arent for everyone. I wanted kids until my best friend had one , and he is satan in the form of a 5 year old blond boy. I dislike children now. it doesnt mean you love your husband any less hun!

 

[MissMarley]

I did go ahead and get EC (emergency contraception)- it can be taken up to 72 hours after unprotected sex (and mine wasn't completely unprotected- there was sperm on the outside on the condom- but the condom was also coated in spermicide..soo...). So with my having been on birth control for the last three years, I shouldn't be ovulating anyway, plus we use condoms and spermicide and now Emergency Contraception- I think I've covered all my bases. I don't want kids at all. And I'm also terrified I might get prego accidentally- I'm on so many psych meds that the kid would probably have major defects- and then I would honestly feel like I killed someone. Maybe it was an accident, but my body still killed another life. That might not sound rational, but it's how I feel. And I know I wouldn't make it through that.

 

[MisStarrlight]

I'm with everyone else. I don't think it says anything about your relationship at all.

I'm actually the same way & want absolutely nothing to do with kids & freak every time they come into the picture. I'm nuts now, I couldn't imagine myself prego & then actually raising the kid? Hell no!

I'll leave the popping out kids thing to my friends. I'm only 22 & everyone I grew up with already has at least one (or one on the way)...Sooo glad I got out of my hometown!

 

[Urbana]

i dont think you dont love your husband, you just dont like childrend.
just like me

 

[MissMarley]

man...if anyone wants to know the side effects i had from the emergency contraception- holy cow. MAJOR nausea and dizziness. insane bloating. mood swings like you wouldn't believe (and i took this saturday- i'm still having these symptoms, just not as bad).

 

[Beauty Mark]

I'm late to the party, but loving your husband and wanting kids isn't the same thing. You just don't want kids. It's a very old-fashioned view that marriage=babies, much like marriage=you being a stay at home wife; I'm not slighting people who make those choices, but some people see that as the only path.

I don't know how old you are, but have you tried getting your tubes tied? One of my friends whose 23 got hers tied, after having her second child she really can't afford to raise; it took some effort from her side to convince the doctor, but she did have it done.

 

[MissMarley]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beauty Mark I'm late to the party, but loving your husband and wanting kids isn't the same thing. You just don't want kids. It's a very old-fashioned view that marriage=babies, much like marriage=you being a stay at home wife; I'm not slighting people who make those choices, but some people see that as the only path. I don't know how old you are, but have you tried getting your tubes tied? One of my friends whose 23 got hers tied, after having her second child she really can't afford to raise; it took some effort from her side to convince the doctor, but she did have it done.

I really want to, but I can't convince the doctor. My husband is almost 26, we think it'll be easier to convince a doctor to snip his tubes (I know that's not 100% foolproof either, so I'd still use BC)

 

[Raerae]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MissMarley I really want to, but I can't convince the doctor. My husband is almost 26, we think it'll be easier to convince a doctor to snip his tubes (I know that's not 100% foolproof either, so I'd still use BC)

Have you thought about the no period pill? If your not ovulating at all, it's probably harder to get Pregnant

And in the event you do someday change your mind, you could always stop taking it.

 

[MxAxC-_ATTACK]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MissMarley man...if anyone wants to know the side effects i had from the emergency contraception- holy cow. MAJOR nausea and dizziness. insane bloating. mood swings like you wouldn't believe (and i took this saturday- i'm still having these symptoms, just not as bad).

i didnt get any immediate side effects from the emergency contraception, I had something called PLAN B, but when It came time for my period.. HOLY HECK it was AWFUL!!! i had the heaviest period EVER . I probably went thru like 2 economy sized boxes of super plus tampons. Not to mention the crraammmpppss uugghhh.

 

[faifai]

I think tubal ligation here would really be a good idea. Doctors are against it because it is so irreversible, but if you really, truly do not ever want children, in the long run it will be so much better for you. No more panicking about getting pregnant, no more having to have your hormones meddled with via BC.

As for Plan B, I think I got really lucky when I took it because I experienced no side-effects at all. No nausea, no irregular bleeding.

 

[MissMarley]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Raerae Have you thought about the no period pill? If your not ovulating at all, it's probably harder to get Pregnant And in the event you do someday change your mind, you could always stop taking it.

Tried it, bled for two months straight (the doctor first said, "Oh, you're probably just spotting", but then examined me and said "Oh, never mind. Let's get you off this NOW")

 

[giz2000]

Quote:

Originally Posted by faifai I think tubal ligation here would really be a good idea. Doctors are against it because it is so irreversible, but if you really, truly do not ever want children, in the long run it will be so much better for you. No more panicking about getting pregnant, no more having to have your hormones meddled with via BC. As for Plan B, I think I got really lucky when I took it because I experienced no side-effects at all. No nausea, no irregular bleeding.

It's very difficult to find a doctor that will perform a tubal ligation on someone Marley's age...they figure that she might change her mind someday (even though she's sure she won't, they won't take that chance).