Uncomfortable Situations
- Thread starter shootout
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M.A.C. head.
Well-known member
Get out more!
Don't try to appease your roommate or not feel left out at the risk of getting a write up.
I'm a very outgoing person, even so, when I first went to college and was living in the dorms I had a slow start. If you're comfortable striking up conversations with strangers, try this: The next time you're in the dining hall, look around. Maybe there will be people that you gravitate towards. Like a person who dresses in a similar style, or a person who is wearing a tshirt of a band you like [or a sports team], if you overhear someone talking about something you like and know about, etc You can just keep it real and say "Hi! I don't know many people here yet. I heard you talking about/I noticed your shirt [or whatever fits], do you mind if I sit with you?". It sounds corny, I know, and you don't have to say exactly that. If you're good at reading people at a basic level, you'll be able to tell who is approachable and who is not. That technique worked WONDERS for me. I made friends with all sorts of people and I had a great freshman year and a great time in the dorms.
Also, going onto campus and mingling around at events or signing up for activities and campus groups really helps too. There's always something fun going on!
Best of luck. It will be a great experience if you make it so!
Don't try to appease your roommate or not feel left out at the risk of getting a write up.
I'm a very outgoing person, even so, when I first went to college and was living in the dorms I had a slow start. If you're comfortable striking up conversations with strangers, try this: The next time you're in the dining hall, look around. Maybe there will be people that you gravitate towards. Like a person who dresses in a similar style, or a person who is wearing a tshirt of a band you like [or a sports team], if you overhear someone talking about something you like and know about, etc You can just keep it real and say "Hi! I don't know many people here yet. I heard you talking about/I noticed your shirt [or whatever fits], do you mind if I sit with you?". It sounds corny, I know, and you don't have to say exactly that. If you're good at reading people at a basic level, you'll be able to tell who is approachable and who is not. That technique worked WONDERS for me. I made friends with all sorts of people and I had a great freshman year and a great time in the dorms.
Also, going onto campus and mingling around at events or signing up for activities and campus groups really helps too. There's always something fun going on!
Best of luck. It will be a great experience if you make it so!
Beauty Mark
Well-known member
Join a club or some kind of activity.
If you don't want to do that, get a study partner who can be your friend.
If you don't want to do that, get a study partner who can be your friend.
NutMeg
Well-known member
I'm in my second year of res, and I have got to say you are missing out if you don't try to interact with people. Try to force yourself to hang out with these guys for a night, and if you don't like them, don't do it again. But seriously, university/college is such a huge opportunity to meet people because everyone is so open to new friendships. Talk to anyone who looks interesting, strike up a conversation with the person sitting next to you in class, if someone smiles at you around campus say hi, if you hear someone on your floor asking if anyone wants to go out to movie, say yes! Leave your door open unless you are studying/changing/actively seeking privacy. This is a huge chance to make lifelong friends, don't miss out because you think you won't like people/be uncomfortable.
RaynelleM
Well-known member
I used to be like you when I was in high school, I had my small group of friends, didn't participate in school activites, was very quiet and introverted. But looking back I missed out on a lot!! So when I started at uni I decided to be more outgoing. I met a whole bunch of people during frosh, hung out in the dorms even tho I didn't actually live there, joined a bunch of clubs, went to all the pub nites etc. And yes sometimes in the name of fun I did things I wasn't supposed to be doing like skipping lectures to go hang out at my friends dorm or even sneaking booze into our science lab!! I made friends with a lot of people I would never have imagined being friends with, so give them a shot, maybe they're not as bad as you think.
College is a time to try new things, re-invent yourself and have fun!! Trust me, have fun now cuz once you're done school and you're working 9-5 life can get a bit monotonous!!
College is a time to try new things, re-invent yourself and have fun!! Trust me, have fun now cuz once you're done school and you're working 9-5 life can get a bit monotonous!!
shootout
Well-known member
That's the thing though, I'm definitely not an outgoing person. And the people that are living on my floor are the types of people I do my best to avoid!
I've made a couple of new friends here, but they don't live on campus. The school I'm going to is in the middle of the city, so more than half of the students commute. There are about 16,000 people that go to my school, but there are only 2 dorms.
I guess I'm just having trouble finding things that interest me. The school does have several events scheduled, but they're never anything I'm interested in, so I doubt I would find anyone with any commonalities at these events.
Like just last week, the American Idol tour came to our arena. I could have gotten cheap tickets and sat in the student section to meet new people. But American Idol? Not something I'm into.
I've made a couple of new friends here, but they don't live on campus. The school I'm going to is in the middle of the city, so more than half of the students commute. There are about 16,000 people that go to my school, but there are only 2 dorms.
I guess I'm just having trouble finding things that interest me. The school does have several events scheduled, but they're never anything I'm interested in, so I doubt I would find anyone with any commonalities at these events.
Like just last week, the American Idol tour came to our arena. I could have gotten cheap tickets and sat in the student section to meet new people. But American Idol? Not something I'm into.
malteze_bubbleg
Well-known member
I never lived in a dorm because we didnt have them in Malta (europe), where i went to school. however, i think that its best not to get involved with the partying crew because there are many students who end up dropping out of college, going to school too tired or with a hangover....etc etc...and than they find themselves not coping with school.
However , it is also not good to stay in 24/7 because thats what i did and in the end i got depressed about it!!!! i gave so much importance to school that it got bad. so i think you have to find a balance..for instance during the week you focus on school and on the weekends go out and communicate with other people.
However , it is also not good to stay in 24/7 because thats what i did and in the end i got depressed about it!!!! i gave so much importance to school that it got bad. so i think you have to find a balance..for instance during the week you focus on school and on the weekends go out and communicate with other people.
shootout
Well-known member
Quote:
That's exactly how I feel.
I'm paying thousands of dollars to go to school, so why would I waste my time partying and doing shit like that?
Originally Posted by malteze_bubbleg
I never lived in a dorm because we didnt have them in Malta (europe), where i went to school. however, i think that its best not to get involved with the partying crew because there are many students who end up dropping out of college, going to school too tired or with a hangover....etc etc...and than they find themselves not coping with school. |
That's exactly how I feel.
I'm paying thousands of dollars to go to school, so why would I waste my time partying and doing shit like that?
Beauty Mark
Well-known member
Just because students commute doesn't mean that you can't meet up with them or they with you.
Also, pretty much every school in the US has a Student government page, which should link up to the student clubs page. I would bet there is a school newspaper, at least one service group (Habitat for Humanity, for instance), activities board, ethnic/culture groups, and some political ones. Join something you're interested in. In order to make friends, you are going to have to push yourself out of your comfort zone a bit.
Also, pretty much every school in the US has a Student government page, which should link up to the student clubs page. I would bet there is a school newspaper, at least one service group (Habitat for Humanity, for instance), activities board, ethnic/culture groups, and some political ones. Join something you're interested in. In order to make friends, you are going to have to push yourself out of your comfort zone a bit.
sharkbytes
Well-known member
In case you're worried, unless you're drinking underage in the building, the RAs usually don't write you up for anything. If there's just hanging out, being loud and goofy, etc. then you should at least go out there once just to see what it's all about! If you don't enjoy yourself, then I'd think about joining a club, or setting up a study group with some people just to socialize more. Even if you're a very introverted person, college really is meant to open you up a little. Don't be scared, Don't do anything you're opposed to, but have some fun
