urgh do some people just not understand?

[as_cute_as_pie]

right so now im 17 and going into my final year at school in september, i havnt had a job up til now cos a) no where would hire me

and b) i didnt really have time with school work. but now im going to be doing a hour at school a day for 2 months and could really do with a job.
I was out with a friend today who majorly annoyed me for loads of reasons:
1) she was complaining that i never have any money to go out with (ok this is out drinkin which i honestly dont really like cos if i can go out i can only take £10 which is NOTHING and dont like spending money on alcohol when i dont have lots of money to buy anything anyway i feel its a waste) because i spend it on expensive clothes and dont shop at cheap shops which i think is totally up to me and so what its not expensive shops i can buy a dress for like £40 and i dont think its bad because id rather buy that than spend £30 out drinkin in one night (if ur from the uk this is like topshop and ms selfridge

)

2) complaining about money again as we walked past a MAC counter she said the girl buying stuff at the till was a 'loser' i asked how and she went on about how whats the point of buying expensive make up and dying your hair cos its all fake and theres better stuff to buy bla bla

3) because me her nd 2 other friends are supposed to be going on holiday and im the only one trying to get every1 togther to sort it out bt shes like we';ll get a last minute deal the week before and im like how HARD will it be to get to where we want/for 4 people the week before its nearly impossible and she said that i dont get how expensive it'll be now bcos my mum and dad will be paying for it so i can do what i want, this upsets me a bit because she was nearing calling me spoilt which im not i have actually saved up £100 so far for this hol and she was like yes u have that cos ur mum gave u it but i actually worked for mine, to which i added i have like a bank account which has money in which ive put some in for years so has other family (like grandmas) for when im older and she said yeah but ur mum put most of that money in u didnt work for it like me

i dont know whats up with her im so different like she can go out and spend £30 on a night out and not care whereas im like i could of bought such and such with that, does she not understand that i dont have a job right now and my mum has to pay for some stuff for me, which im sure her mum would if she was jobless. she seems to pick on the fact i get some stuff paid for me and not get that if i had a job i would be paying for everything myself.

 

[Shimmer]

meh. Ignore her.

 

[browneyedbaby]

Quote:

Originally Posted by shimmer meh. Ignore her.

Agreed... I'd say bite your tongue for now. Unless she's like this all time which would be a major pain in the ass and I'd suggest politely saying that everyones different.

And it's good that you're starting to think about a job cos it's satifising to earn your own money too!

 

[Chelly]

tell her to fuck off - that usually works for me

 

[quandolak]

..........

 

[pr1nces583]

stand up for your own ideas and opinions and tell her she has hers and you have yours

i had a friend similar at uni, she spent all her money on smoking and travelling home every 2 mins and i spent mine on evenings out with friends and clothes. she used to think i had more money than her- but i wasnt the one who's parents were paying their rent!

friends can be annoying at times, and some are better than others but little annoying things about them usually disappear with time

 

[bAbY_cHiCkEn01]

ITA with Chelly, just tell her to go jump... as you said, its your money, so why let others dictate what you do with it... Just ignore her... she's prolly just jealous of you, that you have nice stuff, and what right is it for her to say that you're wasting your money when a) its something you love and clearly don't think its a waste and b) she wastes hers on alcohol... which is dumb and pointless...

 

[Jaim]

It's admirable to save your money for things you really want when you don't have a lot to work with, don't let her tell you otherwise. It's better to invest some money in clothes and things that aren't consumed in one night like booze!

 

[NtheSticks]

Good for you, saving so you can do something rather than expect the folks (parents) to do it.

Also major kudos (that's a good thing) for thinking beyond the alcohol to working to pay your own way. That's very good for someone your age. around here, being min of 16 to work is required by most large companies. I believe even the fast food places, but I'm not going to say I am 100% accurate on that.

Work is a good thing. keeps you out of trouble.

I applaude your maturity.

On the friend, you are right - she doesn't get it. And if you tell her that she's being a buttmunch about something, she'll either take it with a grain of salt or not. Luck with it.

 

[kimmy]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chelly tell her to fuck off - that usually works for me

i agree.

my so called "best friend" started picking at me because my mom bought me my own car and her mom didn't buy her one. and the money i make, i spend on hair dye and makeup. she didn't realize that the reason my mom paid for my car is because my mom spent my college fund (about $7,000+) on something for HER, so when it came time for me to drive, she kind of owed me. and what did she buy me? a $7,000 car hah.

basically, i did what Chelly said, and it worked out pretty nicely

 

[as_cute_as_pie]

Quote:

Originally Posted by THE ANTHEM i agree. my so called "best friend" started picking at me because my mom bought me my own car and her mom didn't buy her one. and the money i make, i spend on hair dye and makeup. she didn't realize that the reason my mom paid for my car is because my mom spent my college fund (about $7,000+) on something for HER, so when it came time for me to drive, she kind of owed me. and what did she buy me? a $7,000 car hah. basically, i did what Chelly said, and it worked out pretty nicely

thats the thing lol her mum and dad are paying for her to get a car plus insurance (minimum of $10,000) her to go to uni ($28,0000) soo is it really that bad that i get a $40 top from time to time off my mum and they spend $600 on me to go on holiday (which is SO not happening so that doesnt really matter lol)
ok so my mum is giving me $2000 to go towards a car only cos she got it all in shares not cos she worked for it
i dunno its strange cos her mum and dad make double what mine do

 

[lara]

Sounds like she's very unconfident in herself and/or is just trying to bring you down in order to feel better about herself.

Is this new or ongoing? If it's new, give it a week or two and see if it passes (and gently say something in the meantime). If it's ongoing, then she's a classic Toxic Friend and you could do without her DRAMAH in your life.

 

[as_cute_as_pie]

i think it really depends what mood shes in
i dont think she understands ive applied to nearly everywhere for a job and havnt got one except she once done that and she never got anywhere so she should understand
i cant work anywhere without experience and i cant get experience til i work there

to be honest i think she may be a little jealous cos me and my mum can go out and she'll buy me new shoes or whatever
whereas she gets more stuff in money terms
like she had her room re decorated not that long ago and she got proper wood floor, a wardrobe worth $1,000 and a unit worth $700 and a brand new double bed and frame and im not talking from ikea here

she just gets annoying sometimes going on that my mum buys me everything which in all honesty i dont want, i was sick last week and cried for hours cos i dont have any money and i feel like im missing out as i cant afford to go out and buy a new outfit everytime like everyone else, my mum was very sweet and said she would get me whatever i wanted, except i dont want that, thats not in a selfish or spiteful way its just i want to be able to pay for everything myself without feeling guilty

 

[kaliraksha]

Yeah, spending money that is not a necessity is well, a luxury. In my opinion when I've earned my own money or care about where I spent my money then I can spend however much, whatever percentage where I want. Sometimes I do like to spend money on going out because it makes for a memorable evening... but sometimes if I've been lusting for something and I know I can get more out of that... I will do that. I just think everyone should spend their extra money however they want... it's just logical... so yeah.......... she's probably immature, not very confident or jealous. Best of luck!

 

[user79]

1) I got my first part time job when I was in highschool when I was 16. I was the first of all my friends that got a job, and it was a good thing. I could always afford stuff. You may want to look into getting a part time job that you can do on weekends or maybe on some evenings during the week. There's lots of places that hire young people and teenagers your age, and it's not THAT hard juggling it with school. Drop off loads of CVs to places close to you, like coffee shops, bistros, etc. Those are the kind of places that hire young people because you don't need previous work experience. The more resumes you hand out, the more chance you have. For my 1st job, I handed out 60 CVs and I had 3 call backs for interviews, of which I got 2 job offers. You do the math.

2) Your friend is being rude. It's none of her business what you decide to spend YOUR money on. However, I remember what it was like back then to have a group of friends who NEVER had money to go out anywhere and always wanted to stay home yet refused to get a part time jobs. It was a lot better when they started getting part time jobs too, and we could all afford to go out more and have fun together.

3) Having a part time job is a maturing process too, it will teach you a lot of things you can use later on. It's important to build up references for your CV and you'll also become accustomed to a working environment. It would suck to be 20 something years old and not have ANY formal work experience because no one will hire you.

 

[calliestar]

Well, as has been said, your friend is being very rude by being nosy about your financial matters.

That being said, doesn't it make more sense to spend money on makeup, which is an actual item that you will keep either for years or until you use it up than to spend the same amount of money on alcohol, which will just make you act like an idiot for a few hours and eat away at your liver? Try running that one past your friend. I'd rather have something that I can see and hold that makes me happy than to spend all of my money on getting wasted.

 

[as_cute_as_pie]

just a small update to say

thanks for all the comments

very appreciated

i also have a new job now

its in a department store (fenwicks in the UK) in the designer shoe bit and i get £6 something per hour sooo