X4biddenxLustX
Well-known member
I will first start off for apologizing for how long this post will be and that there will be A LOT to read for those of you are who are willing to take the time out and read this. If not, I understand completely =]
Before I begin on my rant, I'll give you guys some info. I have known a guy that we will be calling "H" since I was about 14, we were never romantically or sexually involved or anything at all whatsoever. Just very close friends (or at least that's what I had thought.) We talked for about 2 years before things in his life started to get complicated and we lost contact with each other just until recently within the last few months. I have another friend who is a girl who we will call "S" and I have known her since 2nd grade and have been really really good friends since. We did however back in I think September 2007 had a disagreement and we both going through a difficult time in our lives and this all lead to a disagreement. But we started to talk again after I asked another friend of hers how she was doing and everything and if she would like to talk to me again cause I missed talking to her. Ever since then things just haven't been the same. We just don't hang out that much or seem as close. I can't blame it on our disagreement at all but instead of changes in our lives (graduating high school and getting a job and personal tragedies and losses). Well H and S both work in the same place, Heinz Field (we live in Pittsburgh) where the Steelers are at. H works in marketing and is good with computers and S works just as a cleaning lady there. S and I both are not football fans which means we also are not Steelers fans even though we've lived and grew up in Pittsburgh. Now they did not really know each other, may of known OF each other until I mentioned to each of them that I knew the other. We all hung out once and I guess that they both occasionally talked to eachother in the office. And he would text her. H has a crush on S, but its not reciprocated. Instead she likes another guy named Matt from work.
Now lets start: Like I had said I recently got back in touch with H and things were going very well. I though we connected again and I trusted him. He even offered to fix my computers for free (I'd just have to pay for the new RAM which is understandable) even though I had offered to pay him. I ended up giving him one of my very old computers that I don't even touch anymore so he could fix it up and give it to his sister as her Christmas gift. I thought it was very nice he was willing to do this for me and to give a computer to his sister. He was very much welcomed at my house which doesn't happen too much since my parents don't like me hanging aroung guys. My little brother had gotten a PS3 game console during my black friday and I couldn't find any cheap HDMI cables and asked H if he knew where I could get them for cheap. He did, he ended up telling me that he'd order me 2 since he could get them for $2 a piece which is an amazing deal. Later on that night he calls me up and tells me that his friend is ordering from the same exact site and that he could get him to order it for me and I wouldn't have to pay for shipping which is expensive but gets cheaper when you buy more items from this site. Even better I thought! So everythings fine until a week later and H is suppose to come over my house to hang out, he tells me he has to stop at his friends house to pick my cables up. When he gets to my house the first thing he says after we greet each other that the cables didn't come, and didn't elaborate on why or anything else further. I just assumed that everything was fine and that maybe the site they ordered from made a mistake and forgot to send them out and that if that was the case it would be corrected. The next week, he comes over again to hang out and finally has the cables with him. We were having fun joking around upstairs until my dad comes up and asks him how much do we owe him for the cables. I just assumed we only owed $4 since shipping was suppose to be covered by his friend's ordered. But no, he wanted $20! WTF?! Where did the extra $16 come in?! He never explained to me why I had to pay him that extra money and for the sake of our friendship and the fact that he's helped me out I'd let it slide. But it just didnt make sense though to me. If something did go wrong with the order I felt that it was his responsibility to let me know everything since its my money were dealing with. If I had to pay for shipping, thats fine but why didn't he just tell me that?! And plus there is no way to explain having to pay an extra $16 for 2 tiny fucking cables to be shipped. Right after we paid him, he made a comment jokingly that, "I could just charge you guys anything I want!" and laughed about it. Again, thats a little odd but I let it slide. Now I know I should of asked why. Strike 1!
Before all of that he had expressed a romantic interest in S despite the fact that he doesn't even know her that well. He kept bugging me to nonchalantly ask her what she thought of him. I was very reluctant to the whole thing because I knew this would just mean drama and I'd be in the middle of it but I did since he was my friend. The answer I got from her was not good, she thought he was weird in the short time that she has known him she has come up with that conclusion of him. She then went on to talk about how he's only 20 and is balding and all of this other stuff, I thought it was a bit mean and uncalled for. I didn't want to say those things to him so I simply just told him that she wasn't interested in him in that way, I did not mention the guy that she infact did like at work. H is in a much higher position than S and I didn't want to say anything that could possibly get her in trouble or something that would make H want to make her life hell at work. Even before then I told H to not expect much from S and that it wasn't a good idea date her because I'm friends with them both (oh, the drama! lol) and that they both work at Heinz Field. He said he understand, which he didn't or else he wouldn't keep pushing me to ask S. All the while, I've been having a lot of trouble finding a job and H knew about this and kept pushing me also to go to the Steeler's Sideline Store at the mall and get an application. He told me that he knows a lot of the higher up people at work including the guy that does all the final hiring for the Sideline Stores. According to H, they were buddies and seen eachother practically on a daily basis at work and that he would see what he could do to help me out. I really did not want to fill out an application because I'm not even a Steelers fan and know nothing about football but needed a job badly so I got an application and turned it in a week before Thanksgiving. About a week later I asked H if he had heard anything from the hiring guy and his response was no because he was most likely busy due to Thanksgiving. Totally understandable, I assumed that in a few weeks H would get in touch with the guy about me and put a good word in for me or vice versa. Well, guess what?! Over a month passed by and nothing! I ended up getting a job and losing a job at Macy's within a week because the manager & human resources screwed up (I told them specifically when I could and could not work and they went and hired me and then told me that they would have to let me go because the times I could work, they don't need anyone). I was soo happy when I first got it and told H all about it but when it fell through I texted him telling him that it didn't work out and if he could look into the Sideline Store job for me like he said he would? I was so upset at that moment but he agreed that he would. But about an hour later I get a text from him and he wants to know exactly what went down at Macy's, I was still pissed off about the whole thing but considering how close of a friend he was to me he knows that I would never do anything to jeopardize my job or a job opportunity. I already had a hard enough time getting the job at Macy's or an interview anywhere else period. At that moment I realized how much of a frickin idiot I was! Over a month had passed by and I received no word from the Sideline Store or H about a job opportunity. He's the type of person that will do something and then tell you about it, well I got no word about the job. And when I asked him to look into it for me I realized that he never had any intention on helping me out at all. Considering him telling me how good friends he was with the guy and how often they see eachother at work, you'd think that he'd take 2 FUCKING MINUTES of his time give a good word in for me right? Now I didn't expect him to guarantee that I'd get a job, most places aren't even hiring right now but he had told me he'd do what he can to help me out with this since he knew the guy! It's the principle here: If you can't walk the walk don't talk the talk! Don't offer to do something for somebody if you either can't do it and know that or if you don't have any intentions on doing it. I got flaming mad right after that! So I just told him to forget it because he's probably not going to even talk to the guy even though I mentioned it to him again. I wouldnt of cared if I gotten the job or not if he had talked to the guy for me. We stopped talking for a few days and then Friday that week, he texts me asking me if I wanted to do something that weekend. I was still pissed so I told him no. When I'm mad at someone I don't like to be around them period, its just a reminder of the situation and I don't need it. This keeps going on for a few weeks, he'd ask to come over and I'd just tell him no. But everytime he asked he kept mentioning how me, him, and S could ALL hang out. I started to feel and realize how he's kind of using me to somehow get to S even though I told him she's not interested and to quit trying cause its only going to be trouble. So strike 2!
I ended up telling S about the whole situation cause I had to get it off of my chest. So I called her up and we discussed this and she agreed that I did have a reason to be mad at him because he practically lied to me. I also went on to tell her that I honestly think he was just using me to get to her. He had texted me telling her that he liked her but she told him that she wasn't into him like that. I warned her to not to tell him anything that could be used against her at work because I feel like he had his own agenda going on. She just brushed it off and did the whole "it's nothing, nothings going to happen" thing and laughed it off. But I was trying to warn her and protect her from getting screwed over or whatever at work because she basically just rejected him. S also mentioned that MAYBE like all the people who are higher ups at Heinz Field that he says he knows that he does know them only cause he works there but isn't like buddy buddy with those people like he says he is. It's like he's trying to brag or show off to make himself look like he's one of the big boys at work. He's one of those people who make his work his fucking LIFE seriously, work and computers runs his life. Before that point I hadn't even looked at it that way but it totally made sense. He'd definitely try to show off to S because they work at the same place and he liked her. But the thing is that he knows the both of us hate football so why show off in that way? I mean who even likes a show off? NOONE! If you honestly have to show off to your "friends" then your not with them for the right reasons, its just another form of lying in my opinion. I would of not cared if he was just the janitor at the stadium and held the lowest position there possible as long as he was honest and truthful to me (aren't those key aspects of a good friendship?). But the point of our discussion on the phone was that we both agreed on these things and that what he did was wrong and that I should be mad.
A few weeks pass by and he still continues to message me. I decided that this just made me even madder and that I need to get this off my chest. So what do you do? You call/text your best friend to talk of course! So I texted S and told her that H was texting me again asking if we all could hang out. Then I asked her about grudges nothing in particular just wanted to talk about something. I get a response back from her saying that I have reached the grudge limit in this situation! I'm just like WTF?! And basically the whole convo we had was about her DEFENDING his actions and making excuses for him everytime I brought up a good point about why what he did was wrong. This was totally not the direction where I wanted or expected the convo to go. It went on for about an hour. Excuses for him on her behalf, to the point where I felt like I was being attacked in a way. She made it seem like I had no reason to be mad at him even though I had valid reasons and last time we talked about it she completlely agreed with me! Now she's doing a complete 180! I finally decided that I did not want to argue anymore because she's a good friend of mines that I haven't known for so long and it isn't worth ruining our own relationship over. So I told her that, and she completely ignores that text I made saying that and keeps going on! And I'm the type of person who will defend myself in any situation to the end especially when I know I'm not the person thats screwing over people over! So I just had to keep going, I wasn't accusing her of anything though but it was a heated discussion. She suggested that I talk to him about this and I told her I would and then she went to bed and said, "goodnite <33333333" like she normally does like as if nothing happened. It's been over a month since the convo we had took place and I still haven't heard from her.
I felt like I had no other choice or it would just eat away at if than to talk to H about it so I did. I told him that I was not accusing him or attacking him but I felt that he basically lied to me and that I'm upset about it. He went on to say how he has the exact text message that I had sent him telling him to "forget about it". But the point was that he told me he was going to help with something and had over a month to say something to the guy. If your not going to do something don't tell me your going to do it! That's why I was mad not because I didn't get the job. He also knew how hard of a time I was having getting a job period at that moment. He apologized and said that he would talk to the guy the next day. At that point I didn't even care about him talking to the guy, I just wanted honesty (is that too much to ask for?). That ends the convo. I still had a bad feeling inside of me...
I don't hear from him the next day but I did a few days later. He ims me on aim on a different screename than the one he usually uses but you can definitely tell it was his screenname (it had his last name in it). He says, "Hey whats up?" (thats one message)
" u there???" (another message)
"????" (another one)
He types that out and sends it to me all within like 5 seconds, not even enough time for me to grab my phone and type a response back. This adds on to the bad feeling I had. I just said something very casual like I was watching tv. H goes on to ask if he could ask me a question, and I'm just like okay... He asks if I'm into tying people up as in bondage. Okay, how the hell did we just go from having an argument the other day and then to bondage a few days later?! I knew right there and then that this whole thing is a joke and it might be one of his friends he got to message me this. I told him how much was he willing to pay? Because he was going to need to google search or go on craigslist.com for a dominatrix. He kept insisting that I tie him up because he only wanted me to do it and that he didn't know how to use google and craiglists (this is why I think it wasn't him because he's a fucking computer whiz). And I kept telling him google and craigslist. This went on for about 15 minutes. I finally just said google and craigslist one more time and got so pissed off and told him to leave me the fuck alone. Whoever was messaging me then said that they had to leave and wanted me phone number so that they could text me (another clue!) I said hell no and he said some other stuff before finally stop talking to me. Now I'm sorry but I do not find that amusing, entertaining or funny at all whatsoever. It's a stupid fucking prank and whoever was responsible for it deserves a darwin award (come on! couldn't they at least come up with something better?). Thats strike 3!
Before that happened I was willing to reconcile and put our differences aside and move on. But after strike 3, I don't ever want to talk to this guy ever again. He's proven to be shady, weird and just dishonest. Not someone I need in my life. He still occasionally ims me on aim but I'll either completely ignore his messages or tell him I'm busy. The last time he contacted me was just about 2 days ago, he had signed off before I even had a chance to check my phone. I wish I could just completely severe ties with him easily BUT heres the thing: He had fixed my computer and installed this program called LogMeIn so that incase my computer broke he could log onto it on his own computer at home and see what was wrong with it. I'm really afraid that I'll turn my computer on and it'll be completely fucked up or something. Like whenever it starts acting up and freezing I keep freaking out thinking he did something to it. Ever since I've gotten my credit cards I've wanted to be able to keep track of them online but I've been too afraid to do anything on my computers. He's already proven to be such a fucking weirdo I don't know what he's capable of. I just wish I could just block him on aim that be the end of it, that simple.
I hate what this has done to me S's friendship. We we had our ups and downs and things have changed a lot in both of our lives and yes we have drifted apart a bit. But still I wanted her around as a close friend. At that time I knew she was going through a lot and probably didn't want to deal with the trouble of this situation. But she could of easily just told me she didn't want to get in the middle of things-perfectly understood. Instead she chose to pretty much betray me and turn things around to make it seem like I was the guilty one here. I don't think I can ever forgive her for THAT. I am willing to move on from it and resume our friendship but not be as open as I was before (( learned that you can only truly trust yourself.). I texted her asking her how she was doing just a few days ago and have since gotten absolutely nothing back. So I guess thats the end of it?
It seems that many people are putting the blame on me including my parents! I explained the situation to them and they just told me to get over it and be friends. Not that fucking simple. In the beginning I felt a lot of guilt over feeling mad about this thinking it may be my fault completely. I had talked to my therapist and she explained to me that I have no reason to feel guilty over something that I did not do wrong and that I did have every reason to be mad at him.
So is there anyone here that could possibly give me some advice or insight on this?
Thanks to everyone who read through all of this rambling!
Before I begin on my rant, I'll give you guys some info. I have known a guy that we will be calling "H" since I was about 14, we were never romantically or sexually involved or anything at all whatsoever. Just very close friends (or at least that's what I had thought.) We talked for about 2 years before things in his life started to get complicated and we lost contact with each other just until recently within the last few months. I have another friend who is a girl who we will call "S" and I have known her since 2nd grade and have been really really good friends since. We did however back in I think September 2007 had a disagreement and we both going through a difficult time in our lives and this all lead to a disagreement. But we started to talk again after I asked another friend of hers how she was doing and everything and if she would like to talk to me again cause I missed talking to her. Ever since then things just haven't been the same. We just don't hang out that much or seem as close. I can't blame it on our disagreement at all but instead of changes in our lives (graduating high school and getting a job and personal tragedies and losses). Well H and S both work in the same place, Heinz Field (we live in Pittsburgh) where the Steelers are at. H works in marketing and is good with computers and S works just as a cleaning lady there. S and I both are not football fans which means we also are not Steelers fans even though we've lived and grew up in Pittsburgh. Now they did not really know each other, may of known OF each other until I mentioned to each of them that I knew the other. We all hung out once and I guess that they both occasionally talked to eachother in the office. And he would text her. H has a crush on S, but its not reciprocated. Instead she likes another guy named Matt from work.
Now lets start: Like I had said I recently got back in touch with H and things were going very well. I though we connected again and I trusted him. He even offered to fix my computers for free (I'd just have to pay for the new RAM which is understandable) even though I had offered to pay him. I ended up giving him one of my very old computers that I don't even touch anymore so he could fix it up and give it to his sister as her Christmas gift. I thought it was very nice he was willing to do this for me and to give a computer to his sister. He was very much welcomed at my house which doesn't happen too much since my parents don't like me hanging aroung guys. My little brother had gotten a PS3 game console during my black friday and I couldn't find any cheap HDMI cables and asked H if he knew where I could get them for cheap. He did, he ended up telling me that he'd order me 2 since he could get them for $2 a piece which is an amazing deal. Later on that night he calls me up and tells me that his friend is ordering from the same exact site and that he could get him to order it for me and I wouldn't have to pay for shipping which is expensive but gets cheaper when you buy more items from this site. Even better I thought! So everythings fine until a week later and H is suppose to come over my house to hang out, he tells me he has to stop at his friends house to pick my cables up. When he gets to my house the first thing he says after we greet each other that the cables didn't come, and didn't elaborate on why or anything else further. I just assumed that everything was fine and that maybe the site they ordered from made a mistake and forgot to send them out and that if that was the case it would be corrected. The next week, he comes over again to hang out and finally has the cables with him. We were having fun joking around upstairs until my dad comes up and asks him how much do we owe him for the cables. I just assumed we only owed $4 since shipping was suppose to be covered by his friend's ordered. But no, he wanted $20! WTF?! Where did the extra $16 come in?! He never explained to me why I had to pay him that extra money and for the sake of our friendship and the fact that he's helped me out I'd let it slide. But it just didnt make sense though to me. If something did go wrong with the order I felt that it was his responsibility to let me know everything since its my money were dealing with. If I had to pay for shipping, thats fine but why didn't he just tell me that?! And plus there is no way to explain having to pay an extra $16 for 2 tiny fucking cables to be shipped. Right after we paid him, he made a comment jokingly that, "I could just charge you guys anything I want!" and laughed about it. Again, thats a little odd but I let it slide. Now I know I should of asked why. Strike 1!
Before all of that he had expressed a romantic interest in S despite the fact that he doesn't even know her that well. He kept bugging me to nonchalantly ask her what she thought of him. I was very reluctant to the whole thing because I knew this would just mean drama and I'd be in the middle of it but I did since he was my friend. The answer I got from her was not good, she thought he was weird in the short time that she has known him she has come up with that conclusion of him. She then went on to talk about how he's only 20 and is balding and all of this other stuff, I thought it was a bit mean and uncalled for. I didn't want to say those things to him so I simply just told him that she wasn't interested in him in that way, I did not mention the guy that she infact did like at work. H is in a much higher position than S and I didn't want to say anything that could possibly get her in trouble or something that would make H want to make her life hell at work. Even before then I told H to not expect much from S and that it wasn't a good idea date her because I'm friends with them both (oh, the drama! lol) and that they both work at Heinz Field. He said he understand, which he didn't or else he wouldn't keep pushing me to ask S. All the while, I've been having a lot of trouble finding a job and H knew about this and kept pushing me also to go to the Steeler's Sideline Store at the mall and get an application. He told me that he knows a lot of the higher up people at work including the guy that does all the final hiring for the Sideline Stores. According to H, they were buddies and seen eachother practically on a daily basis at work and that he would see what he could do to help me out. I really did not want to fill out an application because I'm not even a Steelers fan and know nothing about football but needed a job badly so I got an application and turned it in a week before Thanksgiving. About a week later I asked H if he had heard anything from the hiring guy and his response was no because he was most likely busy due to Thanksgiving. Totally understandable, I assumed that in a few weeks H would get in touch with the guy about me and put a good word in for me or vice versa. Well, guess what?! Over a month passed by and nothing! I ended up getting a job and losing a job at Macy's within a week because the manager & human resources screwed up (I told them specifically when I could and could not work and they went and hired me and then told me that they would have to let me go because the times I could work, they don't need anyone). I was soo happy when I first got it and told H all about it but when it fell through I texted him telling him that it didn't work out and if he could look into the Sideline Store job for me like he said he would? I was so upset at that moment but he agreed that he would. But about an hour later I get a text from him and he wants to know exactly what went down at Macy's, I was still pissed off about the whole thing but considering how close of a friend he was to me he knows that I would never do anything to jeopardize my job or a job opportunity. I already had a hard enough time getting the job at Macy's or an interview anywhere else period. At that moment I realized how much of a frickin idiot I was! Over a month had passed by and I received no word from the Sideline Store or H about a job opportunity. He's the type of person that will do something and then tell you about it, well I got no word about the job. And when I asked him to look into it for me I realized that he never had any intention on helping me out at all. Considering him telling me how good friends he was with the guy and how often they see eachother at work, you'd think that he'd take 2 FUCKING MINUTES of his time give a good word in for me right? Now I didn't expect him to guarantee that I'd get a job, most places aren't even hiring right now but he had told me he'd do what he can to help me out with this since he knew the guy! It's the principle here: If you can't walk the walk don't talk the talk! Don't offer to do something for somebody if you either can't do it and know that or if you don't have any intentions on doing it. I got flaming mad right after that! So I just told him to forget it because he's probably not going to even talk to the guy even though I mentioned it to him again. I wouldnt of cared if I gotten the job or not if he had talked to the guy for me. We stopped talking for a few days and then Friday that week, he texts me asking me if I wanted to do something that weekend. I was still pissed so I told him no. When I'm mad at someone I don't like to be around them period, its just a reminder of the situation and I don't need it. This keeps going on for a few weeks, he'd ask to come over and I'd just tell him no. But everytime he asked he kept mentioning how me, him, and S could ALL hang out. I started to feel and realize how he's kind of using me to somehow get to S even though I told him she's not interested and to quit trying cause its only going to be trouble. So strike 2!
I ended up telling S about the whole situation cause I had to get it off of my chest. So I called her up and we discussed this and she agreed that I did have a reason to be mad at him because he practically lied to me. I also went on to tell her that I honestly think he was just using me to get to her. He had texted me telling her that he liked her but she told him that she wasn't into him like that. I warned her to not to tell him anything that could be used against her at work because I feel like he had his own agenda going on. She just brushed it off and did the whole "it's nothing, nothings going to happen" thing and laughed it off. But I was trying to warn her and protect her from getting screwed over or whatever at work because she basically just rejected him. S also mentioned that MAYBE like all the people who are higher ups at Heinz Field that he says he knows that he does know them only cause he works there but isn't like buddy buddy with those people like he says he is. It's like he's trying to brag or show off to make himself look like he's one of the big boys at work. He's one of those people who make his work his fucking LIFE seriously, work and computers runs his life. Before that point I hadn't even looked at it that way but it totally made sense. He'd definitely try to show off to S because they work at the same place and he liked her. But the thing is that he knows the both of us hate football so why show off in that way? I mean who even likes a show off? NOONE! If you honestly have to show off to your "friends" then your not with them for the right reasons, its just another form of lying in my opinion. I would of not cared if he was just the janitor at the stadium and held the lowest position there possible as long as he was honest and truthful to me (aren't those key aspects of a good friendship?). But the point of our discussion on the phone was that we both agreed on these things and that what he did was wrong and that I should be mad.
A few weeks pass by and he still continues to message me. I decided that this just made me even madder and that I need to get this off my chest. So what do you do? You call/text your best friend to talk of course! So I texted S and told her that H was texting me again asking if we all could hang out. Then I asked her about grudges nothing in particular just wanted to talk about something. I get a response back from her saying that I have reached the grudge limit in this situation! I'm just like WTF?! And basically the whole convo we had was about her DEFENDING his actions and making excuses for him everytime I brought up a good point about why what he did was wrong. This was totally not the direction where I wanted or expected the convo to go. It went on for about an hour. Excuses for him on her behalf, to the point where I felt like I was being attacked in a way. She made it seem like I had no reason to be mad at him even though I had valid reasons and last time we talked about it she completlely agreed with me! Now she's doing a complete 180! I finally decided that I did not want to argue anymore because she's a good friend of mines that I haven't known for so long and it isn't worth ruining our own relationship over. So I told her that, and she completely ignores that text I made saying that and keeps going on! And I'm the type of person who will defend myself in any situation to the end especially when I know I'm not the person thats screwing over people over! So I just had to keep going, I wasn't accusing her of anything though but it was a heated discussion. She suggested that I talk to him about this and I told her I would and then she went to bed and said, "goodnite <33333333" like she normally does like as if nothing happened. It's been over a month since the convo we had took place and I still haven't heard from her.
I felt like I had no other choice or it would just eat away at if than to talk to H about it so I did. I told him that I was not accusing him or attacking him but I felt that he basically lied to me and that I'm upset about it. He went on to say how he has the exact text message that I had sent him telling him to "forget about it". But the point was that he told me he was going to help with something and had over a month to say something to the guy. If your not going to do something don't tell me your going to do it! That's why I was mad not because I didn't get the job. He also knew how hard of a time I was having getting a job period at that moment. He apologized and said that he would talk to the guy the next day. At that point I didn't even care about him talking to the guy, I just wanted honesty (is that too much to ask for?). That ends the convo. I still had a bad feeling inside of me...
I don't hear from him the next day but I did a few days later. He ims me on aim on a different screename than the one he usually uses but you can definitely tell it was his screenname (it had his last name in it). He says, "Hey whats up?" (thats one message)
" u there???" (another message)
"????" (another one)
He types that out and sends it to me all within like 5 seconds, not even enough time for me to grab my phone and type a response back. This adds on to the bad feeling I had. I just said something very casual like I was watching tv. H goes on to ask if he could ask me a question, and I'm just like okay... He asks if I'm into tying people up as in bondage. Okay, how the hell did we just go from having an argument the other day and then to bondage a few days later?! I knew right there and then that this whole thing is a joke and it might be one of his friends he got to message me this. I told him how much was he willing to pay? Because he was going to need to google search or go on craigslist.com for a dominatrix. He kept insisting that I tie him up because he only wanted me to do it and that he didn't know how to use google and craiglists (this is why I think it wasn't him because he's a fucking computer whiz). And I kept telling him google and craigslist. This went on for about 15 minutes. I finally just said google and craigslist one more time and got so pissed off and told him to leave me the fuck alone. Whoever was messaging me then said that they had to leave and wanted me phone number so that they could text me (another clue!) I said hell no and he said some other stuff before finally stop talking to me. Now I'm sorry but I do not find that amusing, entertaining or funny at all whatsoever. It's a stupid fucking prank and whoever was responsible for it deserves a darwin award (come on! couldn't they at least come up with something better?). Thats strike 3!
Before that happened I was willing to reconcile and put our differences aside and move on. But after strike 3, I don't ever want to talk to this guy ever again. He's proven to be shady, weird and just dishonest. Not someone I need in my life. He still occasionally ims me on aim but I'll either completely ignore his messages or tell him I'm busy. The last time he contacted me was just about 2 days ago, he had signed off before I even had a chance to check my phone. I wish I could just completely severe ties with him easily BUT heres the thing: He had fixed my computer and installed this program called LogMeIn so that incase my computer broke he could log onto it on his own computer at home and see what was wrong with it. I'm really afraid that I'll turn my computer on and it'll be completely fucked up or something. Like whenever it starts acting up and freezing I keep freaking out thinking he did something to it. Ever since I've gotten my credit cards I've wanted to be able to keep track of them online but I've been too afraid to do anything on my computers. He's already proven to be such a fucking weirdo I don't know what he's capable of. I just wish I could just block him on aim that be the end of it, that simple.
I hate what this has done to me S's friendship. We we had our ups and downs and things have changed a lot in both of our lives and yes we have drifted apart a bit. But still I wanted her around as a close friend. At that time I knew she was going through a lot and probably didn't want to deal with the trouble of this situation. But she could of easily just told me she didn't want to get in the middle of things-perfectly understood. Instead she chose to pretty much betray me and turn things around to make it seem like I was the guilty one here. I don't think I can ever forgive her for THAT. I am willing to move on from it and resume our friendship but not be as open as I was before (( learned that you can only truly trust yourself.). I texted her asking her how she was doing just a few days ago and have since gotten absolutely nothing back. So I guess thats the end of it?
It seems that many people are putting the blame on me including my parents! I explained the situation to them and they just told me to get over it and be friends. Not that fucking simple. In the beginning I felt a lot of guilt over feeling mad about this thinking it may be my fault completely. I had talked to my therapist and she explained to me that I have no reason to feel guilty over something that I did not do wrong and that I did have every reason to be mad at him.
So is there anyone here that could possibly give me some advice or insight on this?
Thanks to everyone who read through all of this rambling!
