LC
Well-known member
I revisited my myspace page for the first time in like 2 years and re-read one of my blogs and thought i'd share it with you ladies...I'm sure we can all relate to this...lol!
Knock knock
Oh hi, how's it going? It's me! Every guy ever. I'm really looking forward to this date. I'm not nearly as attractive as you remember me because when we met at the bar it was really dark and you were tipsy. Can I come in?
Let's start off with the unavoidable awkward hug and me telling you that you look really "hot".
You'll notice that I wore my striped shirt. I didn't pop my collar because I know we're going somewhere more fancy. Do you dig it? I did my hair real spiky and gelled up, I'm pretty sure most chicks dig that.
Hey check it out, you have a lot of candles in your apartment. So, are you really into the romantic scene? I'm such a romantic!
Hey what's this picture here? Your brother? Oh, it's not? Oh it's you're ex boyfriend? Do you two still like..see each other? Well that's cool I guess. My last girlfriend and I split up not too long ago, well actually we're still in the "process" of breaking up...you know how it goes. Oh, you don't? Well, it's complicated.
Hey do you like how you're taller than me when you're in your heels? It turns me on.
Well hey let's get going to the restaurant.
Do you like how I opened your car door for you? I'm totally going to blow that meaningless gesture out of proportion to delude you into thinking that I'm a really good guy because that's what I want you to believe.
Well, here we are at the restaurant. No thanks waiter, I don't need to see a menu, just bring me some expensive things and lots of alcohol. Hey I know, while we wait, I'll tell you all about my unspeakably boring job and passion for cars. I hate my boss. He's a jerk! I might get another job. I'm really into fixing up my old mustang...she's great!
Now let's talk about us. Is it too soon? Well I don't think so. I think you're great..here, do you mind if I hold your hand? You're really pretty and I feel like you have a good head on your shoulders. Is this the right time to kiss you? No? Ok, well...
Wow! I can't believe I ordered all this food! I'm stuffed from all of these drinks! No thanks waiter, we don't need a box. Just throw it out.
Hey, I've got an idea, let's go to a bar and have an after dinner drink! It'll be great, it will be just like how we're drinking here, only it will be louder, your hair will smell smoky, and we'll have to stand up. Come on!
See, isn't this better? Oh hey, what a coincidence. Look over there! It's a group of my douche guy friends that I knew was going to be here. Let's go over there so that they can judge you!
Hey, I have to go to the bathroom . You can stay here and talk to my unbelievably hideous friend Marc! marc's so ugly he scares kids! Talk to him! He has a job and a car that he wants to talk to you about, too. Be right back.
I'm back! Sorry I was gone for thirty minutes, I ran into the bar and decided I needed another drink.
Well here we are at my car again. Should we go back to my place so that I can make moves on you even though you've been pushing me away all night? Oh you're tired? Well you can crash at my place. Ok well I guess I'll just take you home then... Here we are at your front door again. This was really fun for me and not you. You should pretend like we're going to do it again sometime! Maybe I'll see you at Target a few months from now and we can avoid eye contact because you never called me. Here, have this awkward goodnight kiss that's as empty as my soul. Good night!
Knock knock
Oh hi, how's it going? It's me! Every guy ever. I'm really looking forward to this date. I'm not nearly as attractive as you remember me because when we met at the bar it was really dark and you were tipsy. Can I come in?
Let's start off with the unavoidable awkward hug and me telling you that you look really "hot".
You'll notice that I wore my striped shirt. I didn't pop my collar because I know we're going somewhere more fancy. Do you dig it? I did my hair real spiky and gelled up, I'm pretty sure most chicks dig that.
Hey check it out, you have a lot of candles in your apartment. So, are you really into the romantic scene? I'm such a romantic!
Hey what's this picture here? Your brother? Oh, it's not? Oh it's you're ex boyfriend? Do you two still like..see each other? Well that's cool I guess. My last girlfriend and I split up not too long ago, well actually we're still in the "process" of breaking up...you know how it goes. Oh, you don't? Well, it's complicated.
Hey do you like how you're taller than me when you're in your heels? It turns me on.
Well hey let's get going to the restaurant.
Do you like how I opened your car door for you? I'm totally going to blow that meaningless gesture out of proportion to delude you into thinking that I'm a really good guy because that's what I want you to believe.
Well, here we are at the restaurant. No thanks waiter, I don't need to see a menu, just bring me some expensive things and lots of alcohol. Hey I know, while we wait, I'll tell you all about my unspeakably boring job and passion for cars. I hate my boss. He's a jerk! I might get another job. I'm really into fixing up my old mustang...she's great!
Now let's talk about us. Is it too soon? Well I don't think so. I think you're great..here, do you mind if I hold your hand? You're really pretty and I feel like you have a good head on your shoulders. Is this the right time to kiss you? No? Ok, well...
Wow! I can't believe I ordered all this food! I'm stuffed from all of these drinks! No thanks waiter, we don't need a box. Just throw it out.
Hey, I've got an idea, let's go to a bar and have an after dinner drink! It'll be great, it will be just like how we're drinking here, only it will be louder, your hair will smell smoky, and we'll have to stand up. Come on!
See, isn't this better? Oh hey, what a coincidence. Look over there! It's a group of my douche guy friends that I knew was going to be here. Let's go over there so that they can judge you!
Hey, I have to go to the bathroom . You can stay here and talk to my unbelievably hideous friend Marc! marc's so ugly he scares kids! Talk to him! He has a job and a car that he wants to talk to you about, too. Be right back.
I'm back! Sorry I was gone for thirty minutes, I ran into the bar and decided I needed another drink.
Well here we are at my car again. Should we go back to my place so that I can make moves on you even though you've been pushing me away all night? Oh you're tired? Well you can crash at my place. Ok well I guess I'll just take you home then... Here we are at your front door again. This was really fun for me and not you. You should pretend like we're going to do it again sometime! Maybe I'll see you at Target a few months from now and we can avoid eye contact because you never called me. Here, have this awkward goodnight kiss that's as empty as my soul. Good night!
