Verient
Well-known member
I'm 17. I expect a lot of people to say I'm too young to be in love, but trust me, I know for a fact I was, or rather still am.
I started going out with Tom when I was 15. We were together for just over a year, until we broke up in January. He had been lying to me for a long time, and been smoking behind my back. I got very upset and told him it was over (spur of the moment). It wasn't the smoking that bothered me, just the fact he could lie to my face for such a long time and yet tell me he loves me every day. I didn't think that was acceptable. Anyway, I thought we would talk it out and sort things out. We went through a period of about 3 weeks. We were still very intimate, but argued alot. He told me he didn't want a relationship and wanted to be on his own and do what he wanted. However, other days he told me he couldn't live without me, and we'd do whatever it took to sort things out. He stayed at my house, and we just got on as usual. Then she came into the equation. He met her and stopped talking to me. And before I knew it, a month after our break up he's in a relationship. I haven't found this break up easy to say the least. This guy was my best friend. We saw eachother every day, and were ridiculously close. Our relationship was mature in my eyes, as we were planning a future together, talking to our parents about uni etc. We were in love, you could tell. People around us could tell. We were the 'couple of the college', everyone admired our closeness. Towards the end of our relationship...we lost the spark a little. When he came over we'd sit on our computers on my bed, instead of being really intimate. If I could get him back now, I can see there being a massive spark, all that lust just rushing back. I'm utterly crazy about someone who's not mine anymore.
However, throughout the breakup I got treated like * * * * . He'd sleep with me, and then tell me 'I've changed, I'm a * * * * now and I love it. I don't care about you anymore.'. I rung him in Spain, after not speaking to him for a month, and he simply said 'You know what you've done. (which i dont) I'm not bothered about you anymore'. He also told everyone I cheated on him. I had people coming up to me in college asking. And he also told everyone I rung up his family and told them he cheated on me. It's all bull* * * * . So many things I hate him for right now. But also, I'm still in love with him. I miss everything about him. I miss the fact we don't speak at all anymore. I don't know what I want though. I would love to get back with him, but only if he genuinely changed, and really worked for me back. But I feel mainly that he has had so much happiness out of this break up. He used to have barely any friends. All of a sudden he has lots, he has a girlfriend. He's making friends with MY friends. It breaks my heart to think of him with her. Doing things we did. However, he told one of my friends she is a 'weekend girlfriend' and 'they're not really together'. So what I'm asking for is...really how can he have done this? Why is he with her? Why isn't he speaking to me? And whats the best way I can go about moving on/getting him back? Please don't tell me we're too young, because we are not.
edit to add: Also during 'the 3 week period', my friend sort of set me up with a guy from Millfield (it's one of the poshest schools in the country, very respected people). I met up with him, and immediately liked him. I acted like an idiot. I told Tom I liked him and a while afterwards I told him I was 'seeing him'. I feel like such an idiot now, it was very immature. My feelings for the guy weren't real...just as a compromise for what I lost with Tom. I soon told Tom I didn't have feelings for him, but by this time he was long gone. I also went to stay with this guy over a half term in London... And all I could think of was Tom, I hated it. But yeah, that's my big slip up.
I started going out with Tom when I was 15. We were together for just over a year, until we broke up in January. He had been lying to me for a long time, and been smoking behind my back. I got very upset and told him it was over (spur of the moment). It wasn't the smoking that bothered me, just the fact he could lie to my face for such a long time and yet tell me he loves me every day. I didn't think that was acceptable. Anyway, I thought we would talk it out and sort things out. We went through a period of about 3 weeks. We were still very intimate, but argued alot. He told me he didn't want a relationship and wanted to be on his own and do what he wanted. However, other days he told me he couldn't live without me, and we'd do whatever it took to sort things out. He stayed at my house, and we just got on as usual. Then she came into the equation. He met her and stopped talking to me. And before I knew it, a month after our break up he's in a relationship. I haven't found this break up easy to say the least. This guy was my best friend. We saw eachother every day, and were ridiculously close. Our relationship was mature in my eyes, as we were planning a future together, talking to our parents about uni etc. We were in love, you could tell. People around us could tell. We were the 'couple of the college', everyone admired our closeness. Towards the end of our relationship...we lost the spark a little. When he came over we'd sit on our computers on my bed, instead of being really intimate. If I could get him back now, I can see there being a massive spark, all that lust just rushing back. I'm utterly crazy about someone who's not mine anymore.
edit to add: Also during 'the 3 week period', my friend sort of set me up with a guy from Millfield (it's one of the poshest schools in the country, very respected people). I met up with him, and immediately liked him. I acted like an idiot. I told Tom I liked him and a while afterwards I told him I was 'seeing him'. I feel like such an idiot now, it was very immature. My feelings for the guy weren't real...just as a compromise for what I lost with Tom. I soon told Tom I didn't have feelings for him, but by this time he was long gone. I also went to stay with this guy over a half term in London... And all I could think of was Tom, I hated it. But yeah, that's my big slip up.
