when boys make you cry...so freakin long

[caRpediEm17]

ok so pretty much im juSs venting...hopefully this doesnt turn out to be too long...

ok so in october/november me and this guy (we'll call him Bob haha) were liking each other and were talking about making it official...right after that though, i found him making out with his exgirlfriend (who cheated on him)...i was soo hurt and juSs like felt so betrayed...but unfortunately im the kind of person who easily forgives and gives people thousands of chances so i accepted his apology and we juSs became friends again...

im not gonna lie, ive never stopped liking him, even when he hurt me...and i know its bad, but i juSs couldnt help it...so ive had to sit around this whole time and watch him go out with a couple other girls and i was FINALLY getting over him until like last week when he started talking to me again like he used to (juSs like sweet and kind)...

so like last night me and him were talking and he was @ his friends house who lives right by me and we talked about meeting up today...and he kept saying how he wanted to see me and all this stuff..

so today we met up and i thought we were meeting strictly as friends...like i didnt want/think anything was going to happen...we went back to his friends house and were in his friends room and i was juSs leaning on the wall and he came over and was standing right in front of me like a foot away from my face...OBVIOUSLY he wanted to make out with me because thats how he is...but my mind was still thinking about when he hurt me....so i kept turning my face from his to avoid it ya know? and he was like whats wrong? and i juSS told him it was complicated and then i was like its hard for me to trust you now, i mean i dont want you to hurt me again...and he said he wouldnt, but its hard to juSs believe it ya know...

so we decided he should juSs walk me home and we talked and he told me i was playing games with him because one minute im thinking one thing and the next im thinking another...i juSs tolld him straight up that i cant help the way i feel, that i wasnt playing games with him and even though it seemed like it, i wasnt doing it intentionally...i told him i did like him but it was juSs harder for me to believe he wasnt going to hurt me again..so we went our seperate ways and went home..

so i called him later to tell him im sorry that things were difficult..and he basically told me that i blew my chance with him and that i play games and that every time i talk to him im a different person...i was really hurt by what he said juSs cuz thats not who i am and he was mad @ me because i wouldnt make out with him...how fucked up is that? we got off the phone and i seriously balled my eyes out for like 20 minutes, i was juSs so stressed about it and ive had such horrible history with guys that it made it that much worse...but its like im not the kind of girl who will makeout with a guy juSs cuz HE wants to ya knoW?

i dono what to do about it...im not sorry for not making out with him, and i think hes being a total dick about it...i juSs needed to vent,i mean if you have any opinions or advice, i would love to hear it...thanks so much if you actually read this long ass thing haha...

 

[jasper17]

Seriously, don't be sorry - he *does* sound like a dick, a completely disrespectful and rude one who plays some serious games. He has some nerve to accuse you of playing games when he was the one who was messing around with other girls. Screw that. You didn't lose out - he did.

 

[xxElusivexx]

Ugh seriously get rid of him! There is no way you'll ever be able to have a trusting relationship with this kid with the way he treats you. I know this isn't what you want to hear but there is no respect there for you and if he can't respect you, then he can't love you. Cut your losses and move on. Delete his numbers and tell him to delete all of yours. If he calls hung up repeatedly. This is VERY VERY hard to do but think about it, who's the one being made a fool of? Who's the one in a position of power? HIM! Reject him this time! Tell him he's a little boy and you're not interested. Tell him he's too immature, too stupid for you to give him the time of day. Make yourself control the situation.

Seriously, it will be better for you in the long term-- TRUST ME

Oh and it will hurt but it does get easier with time. I had a long term realationship break up about two months ago and it still hurts, but I am getting over it. Good luck hun s2

 

[Cruella]

He sounds like a complete knob - he accuses you of playing games when he is the one who can't decide what he wants? You did exactly the right thing.

 

[rcastel10]

He's not worth it girl. Don't feel guilty or sorry about anything cause you didn'y do anything wrong. If anything he's the one that missed out on you.

 

[chako012]

what a complete asswipe, his not worth it period........I'm sure a million other guys will treat u like a queen

If i was a guy I would

 

[Hawkeye]

OK lets think about this rationally-

1) The guy cheated on you. Sorry but I go by the rule once a cheater always a cheater. I know it isn't every case but if he did it once he will do it again.

2) He tells you to come over and talk and hang out with him. This is going to sound bitchy but I'm thinking like a guy here it does appear you will be more interested in more than friendship.

3) He was just making you jeolous with all the girls because he knew he could.

4) He wants to make out with you then accuses YOU of playing games with his head?

Well I will give him some credit, and again this isnt a shot this is just thinking like a guy (who even though we often say we dont understand them they are pretty easy to figure out.)

Untintentionally I do believe there could have been a chance you made him think that you wanted more than hang out as "friends". Why? Because you continued to remain friends with this scumbag. Sometimes guys are stupid and dont see that friends and a girl wanting you are two different things. We can see this but others can't. So I think you may have led him on VERY VERY unintentionally. He probably thought you were playing hard to get or some crap.

So that's probably where he was coming from when he said you were playing mind games. You didn't even mean to! It was the LAST thing on your mind!

NOW lets look from it from YOUR perspective. You know HE has been playing mind games with you for a FACT. (I mean hello, he wants to be your friend after he cheated on you and expects it?)

Now this is what you do. You realize this guy isn't worth the spit on the bottom of your shoe. The guy is worthless. He (in what you've said) has done absolutely nothing to make you a "better" person if you will. He's cheated on you, he's lied to you, then he tells you you're playing games. The guy is a dick. Just like you said.

Now here is the advice...
Cut off all forms of communication with him. Do NOT call him, do not IM him, and if you must see him (like do NOT go out of your way but if you happen to run into him in the mall etc) you ignore him OR if he says something say hello and leave right then.

Only you are in control of how people treat you and YOU are worthy of someone a hell of a lot better than he is.

NOW for future reference, and I tell this to all young girls, I will tell this to my daughter when she is of age but when you break it off with someone DO NOT remain friends. Especially if you have feelings for the other person. This will only cause you more and more pain. (As you have noticed) and with many guys they will think you are readily available to them and they will think that they can do whatever they want and they WILL THINK you are leading them on.

I know many people will disagree with this but in my experience and watching other people anyone who has been in a situation similar to this has gone through the same thing and its the same story every time. They thought they were friends, then the guy tried to come on to them they said no and automatically the person is playing games. And believe me, most of the time the girls (and sometimes the guys) they have no idea they thought they were just being friends. So it blindsides them.

Anyway, next time if you end a relationship END IT.

Hope this helps darlin and I know you are having a hard time right now but just remember it WILL GET BETTER

 

[sbetsy]

He's not worth it hon. Sounds like he's just interested in messing around with as many girls as he can. Wait for a guy who won't accuse you of playing with his mind when you just want to make sure that he is as into you as you are into him. He's out there! I know that you are wishing that he was here now, but just be patient hon!