where to go?/friend likes me

[milamonster]

So here's my dilemna...I just graduated, and trying to get back adjusted to life in Los Angeles. I haven't really lived here since I was in highschool and during that time, I had the typical high school girl esteem. Well maybe not typical but I didnt have necessarily high or low self esteem. I was in the middle, i thought i was pretty but nothing to write home about, and i would NEVER tell a guy i liked him cuz i didnt think no way in the world would they give me the time of day. But since then I've gained oh so much confidence nad esteem. I loved college for many reasons but although it wasn't easier finding men, it was a smaller space and you had more perceived things in common with other people & you can ALWAYS ask someone about osmeone and they usually know. So it made it seem that finding a man would be "Easier" ahah. ALthough it was horrible there! I meet only crazies....So...i need to find a man HERE! ok, not NEED, but want. I very rarely get hit on (except for homeless men, absolutely inappropriate creepy men and i mean donwright wrong and gangstas) so when I go out, no one really says shit to me. MAybe I"m doing something wrong? I can smile at the drop of a hat etc. Also when I do meet someone , it ends horribly before it gets too far, ask and I can give some instances lol.I'm not sure what it is that I'm doing or not doing but I'm just tired of my friends (Especially guyfriends) telling me that I'm pretty and that i'm a catch which is just bs after a while, when no one hits on you!
I also have an issue meeting men randomly thinking they might be creepy. I don't really know how to get over this but I know that I 'm just killing it for myself. But where can I find men. Being at school, you go the same places, etc etc esp. being that it was a small town. I work 8 hour days and on the weekend im usually just chillin

So how do i get a date with a sane man in Los Angeles? where to look? etc

also, ok, side note. I have this best guy friend who is in NY. I've had a crush on him since I was a freshman. About 2 weeks ago he confessed that he had a crush on me for a year or two and still does. We had a pretty good, relaxed convo about it. He said that we're far awya and nothing could really happen because we both don't like long distance relationship type of things but he said when he moved back to Los Angeles we would give it a go(of course considering we are both single then). I guess this is what sparked this question, because I don't want to seem like I'm waiting around for him but it's extremely difficult knowing that someone that you liked so much likes you but they're so far. Like it's a potential for a relationship but you cant really reach it.
Okay, thanks!

 

[Raerae]

I've said it b4, but I personally believe that in order to meet a guy, you need to do two things...

One~ Get out of the rut. Everyone has a routine. And typically we get stuck in it. M-F, get up, go to work, go home. Weekends, stay @ home. Maybe go out with friends, maybe not. You have to change it up. And it's not hard, but it does require effort on your part, not to do the exact same thing.

Do you go to a gym? Go to a different one in your area every time, at different times of the day (most gyms have several locations in your area). Shop at one grochery store? Go to a different one every time, and make sure it's during prime time shopping time when lots of people are in it (stop caring so much about the location, and just think of it as exposure to people). Any other errands you do (laundry, shopping, picking up/sending mail, etc.) make sure your mixing up the location. People get comfortable doing things the same way so if your always going to the same places at the same times, your chances of meeting new and different people are a lot smaller than if you keep mixing it up.

And on your weekends, get into the habit of going out and doing things. Your not going to meet guys chilling on your couch all day watching TV. You might however, meet a guy walking on the boardwalk down by the pier. Or reading a book in Starbucks, instead of your bedroom, or just hanging out at the food court with friends at the mall, instead of in their living room.

Two~ Be open to people who aren't your "type". While you might not want to go out on a date with some crude homeless guy giving you inapropriate comments, it doesn't mean the guy who's not your typical boy friend who's asking you out in the vegetable isle at Vons, might not be good conversation over coffee. Just like our day's get into ruts, so do the men we date. And perhaps Mr. Right, isn't the guy you think you want, but the guy you never though you'd be interested in. Not to mention, it's just a date, it's not a comittment. And once you start going out with men on a more regular basis, you'll build your own confidence and self esteem. That of course, is the most attractive trait any woman can have

 

[milamonster]

that was really helpful
thank you SO much!!