Would you rather? Zobmondo...

[Shimmer]

Hahhaaha Indeed.


When I get back to TX I'll have to post a few more.

 

[sharyn]

Be spotted by your boss at an adult bookstore OR a strip joint?
Strip Joint Baby, anytime!!

Eat a cigar burnt at one end and chewed at the other OR chew and swallow six packs of bubble gum at one sitting?
Bubblegum

Live in a house with no windows OR no doors?
no windows

Have gorilla arms OR ostrich legs?
ostrich legs. Maybe I could wear some skinny jeans then...

Upon seeing an injured animal on the side of the road, drive by and leave it knowing it's in pain and going to die OR run over it and put it out of its misery?
Oh God what about option C) call the Vet?

Spend a summer driving through the Arizona desert with no air conditioning OR across country with a broken stereo?
no stereo!? NEVER!!!

Have frequent spurts of uncontrollable drooling OR be a bed wetter?
Drooling.

Accept a $1000 violation from a cop OR suck on his toes for 10 seconds beside a busy freeway inorder to get the ticket torn up?
$1000 violation

Be a virgin until you're 40 OR have an active sex life without ever climaxing?
Virgin til I'm 40

Change a flat tired at night in a thunder/lightning storm on the freeway OR run out of gas on a deserted country road?
Change a flat. I'm good at that actually

Pee in your pants in front of everyone at a wedding OR laugh uncontrollably at your grandmother's funeral?
laugh at my nana's funeral

Have the kind of personality that causes people to believe you're a conniving manipulator OR a pathological liar?
Manipulation, baby.

Drink a gallon of public hot tub water OR eat a used bar of soap from a public shower?
If only I knew who bathed in there before... I'll take the hot tub water. Barf.

Never use a phone OR electric lights again?
I hate phones. So the answer is: never use a phone again.

Roll around naked in poison oak for an hour OR eat a dead lab mouse?
Poison Oak

Find a dead fly in your salad OR a really long thick hair in your ice cream?
I found 2 dead flies in my milkshake once. No, one was still struggling. So I'll take the fly.

Be president of a firm that poaches endangered species OR work for a corrupt politician?
I'll take the corrupt politician. I love animals.

Never be able to sleep lying down OR instantly fall asleep every time you sit down?
Falling asleep everytime I sit down actually happens to me (in school).

Have the ability to become invisible OR to fly?
Invisibility. Whoa... that would be so great!

Be a compulsive liar OR marry one you can't divorce?
Be the liar

Drink a quart of an elementary school janitor's mop water OR eat the sand from a mall ashtray?
ashtray sand. anytime.

Have a small butt on your forehead OR two little feet dangling from beneath your chin?
"Butthead"

As a woman get a small, visible tattoo on your forehead OR have EE cup breasts?
EE Cup breast.

Vote for a politician who has his or her own best interest in mind, but who will also be very good at the job OR vote for one who is selfless but slightly less competent?
Selfless one

Plow a quarter acre plot of land by hand OR plow 20 acres with an ox to help you?
quarter acre by hand.

Eat a small can of cat food OR seven lemons in their entirety?
We had a kid in kindergarden who actually ate catfood because her mom wouldnt buy her cornflakes. I guess you dont die from it but I'll choose the lemons. Yummy.

Conceal a ripe pimple on the tip of your nose with makeup and be discovered when someone's kiss accidentally pops it OR have your hairpiece lift off with a sudden rush of wind?
ripe pimple

Be attacked by 20 raccoons OR two large Rottweilers?
Raccoons scare me. So do large Rottweilers. Eeeeeh I'll take the raccoons.

Not eat OR not sleep for three days?
Not sleep

Have an affliction that causes you to have bowel movements on your living room floor while sleepwalking OR that causes you to pee on a total stranger twice a year?
Pee on a stranger. There's people who pay for that!!!

Get caught by your spouse have an email cybersex relationship with someone else OR have an actual affair with your spouse's best friend and never get caught?
I'll "take" (haha) the best friend.

Live in a country with the same freedoms as the USA but where terrorists bomb buildings every other day OR live in a police state with no privacy rights, but where everything is bomb free?
Free Country with bombs. always. I'd rather die (a very painfull death )in a bomb attack than spend my whole life in fear of the police state.

Thoroughly lick a large frog all over OR lick just once a small two inch area on the backside of a portajohn?
Froggy. whatever a portajohn is.

Be attacked by 30 angry poodles OR one Doberman?
Poodles. 30 angry poodles. maybe the 20 raccoons would beb usefull then...

Be caught picking your nose in your car OR scratching your genitals in the supermarket?
Nose pick

Lick your bathroom drain clean OR mop up the bathroom floor with your hhead
mop the floor.

Have the ability to see in a world of blind people OR be a great musician in a world of deaf people?
See in a world of blind

Have a mouth full of ticks OR a butt full of worms?
Uuuuuugh ticks...

Get caught shoplifting OR urinating in public?
Peeing in public

Drink a shot of yak spit OR a teaspoon of snail slime?
snail slime. There's people who eat them...

Be accused of stealing OR of sexual harassment on the job?
stealing. I guess.

Display only pictures of yourself in your house OR display only the pictures that came with the frames?
Pictures of myself.

Be forced to throw up completely through your nose OR throw up normally into a cup and have to take a big gulp of it?
I always thought you'd suffocate if you throw up through your nose so I'll take the gulp.

In a fight be armed with only a table tennis paddle OR a wiffle ball bat?
Not sure what a wiffle bat is so I’ll take the paddle...ditto

Be dishonorably discharged from the military OR kicked out of a presigious college for cheating?
Military

Dress for one year like a nun OR like a mime?
naughty nun?! You know like the halloween costumes?!

Drive everywhere on a street sweeper OR be able to drive only six months out of the year?
pimped out street sweeper

Live until you're 90 and die after six months of unbearable pain t hat can't be helped with drugs OR live to 55 and die peacefully?
Live to 55.

Have to hold a one inch roach in your mouth unharmed for five minutes OR have to lie motionless on a termite nest for ten minutes?
roach

Be known as a thief OR a liar?
A thief. liars are a pain in the ***

As a man have a ten inch pencil thin penis OR a two inch long super thick penis?
Since size does matter... pencil.

Dive from 20 feet high into six feet of water OR from 40 feet into ten feet of water?
20 feet high.

Eat nothing ever again but sweets OR dairy products?
sweets

Spend an evening with a person to whom you're very sexually attracted when y ou're extremely tired, dirty, and sweaty from a long day at work OR just go home and watch tv?
too vain to be in a room with a nice guy and look like crap (and smell like that, too) so I'll just go home.

Have to perform surgery on your spouse using only a textbook for instructions OR with no formal training defend your spouse in a trial for a murder he or she appears to be guilty of committing?
Murder Tiral. I talk myslef out of shit a lot, so I'll give it a try.

Be covered in itchy scabs OR have popcorn kernel shells stuck in between every tooth?
Popcorn between my teeth.

Have your ears where your eyebrows are OR have your nose where your bellybutton is?
nose instead if bellybutton. wait does that mean my bellybutton is...?!

Have the ability to see ten years into your own future OR one year into the future of the world?
Ten year into mine

For the rest of your life live in a house infected with ticks OR have hair lice?
ticks

 

[redambition]

you people are all sick and twisted

my turn...

Be spotted by your boss at an adult bookstore OR a strip joint? strip joint. it would be easier to tell her it was a dare.

Eat a cigar burnt at one end and chewed at the other OR chew and swallow six packs of bubble gum at one sitting? bubble gum

Live in a house with no windows OR no doors? no doors. i can climb out of windows, but i hate not having natural light

Have gorilla arms OR ostrich legs? ummm. legs - easier to hide

Upon seeing an injured animal on the side of the road, drive by and leave it knowing it's in pain and going to die OR run over it and put it out of its misery? :'( so sad. i would put it out of it's misery. i couldn't leave it suffering, knowing it would die.

Spend a summer driving through the Arizona desert with no air conditioning OR across country with a broken stereo? broken stereo. i have an ipod

Have frequent spurts of uncontrollable drooling OR be a bed wetter? haha, bed wetter. you can hide the evidence.

Accept a $1000 violation from a cop OR suck on his toes for 10 seconds beside a busy freeway inorder to get the ticket torn up? the fine. no way am i sucking toes that have been in a cop boot all day. ewwww.

Be a virgin until you're 40 OR have an active sex life without ever climaxing? tough one. probably having the active sex life.

Change a flat tired at night in a thunder/lightning storm on the freeway OR run out of gas on a deserted country road? run out of gas. i could call someone to come get me.

Pee in your pants in front of everyone at a wedding OR laugh uncontrollably at your grandmother's funeral? tough one. i can make laughing seem like crying, so laughter it is.

Have the kind of personality that causes people to believe you're a conniving manipulator OR a pathological liar? manipulator. because then they will think i can make people do my bidding, muahahaha.

Drink a gallon of public hot tub water OR eat a used bar of soap from a public shower? *puke* soap.

Never use a phone OR electric lights again? lights. i love candles.

Roll around naked in poison oak for an hour OR eat a dead lab mouse? poison oak. who knows what that mouse had.

Find a dead fly in your salad OR a really long thick hair in your ice cream? what has less germs? i'd go the hair.

Be president of a firm that poaches endangered species OR work for a corrupt politician?work for a corrupt politician. you could get some juicy goss to leak to the papers.

Never be able to sleep lying down OR instantly fall asleep every time you sit down? never sleep lying down. i sit a lot.

Have the ability to become invisible OR to fly? fly.

Be a compulsive liar OR marry one you can't divorce? be the liar, or, marry the liar then kill him in a rage with a teaspoon a year later.

Drink a quart of an elementary school janitor's mop water OR eat the sand from a mall ashtray? *puke* again. mop water. it usually has disinfectant in it, right?

Have a small butt on your forehead OR two little feet dangling from beneath your chin?

i'd be a butthead. because i could.

As a woman get a small, visible tattoo on your forehead OR have EE cup breasts? gimme boobies!

Vote for a politician who has his or her own best interest in mind, but who will also be very good at the job OR vote for one who is selfless but slightly less competent? the selfless one.

Plow a quarter acre plot of land by hand OR plow 20 acres with an ox to help you? 20 acres with an ox. yeah. primitive and all, but less primitive than doing it by hand. and walking with the ox would be a good low impact workout.

Eat a small can of cat food OR seven lemons in their entirety?seven lemons. easy.

Conceal a ripe pimple on the tip of your nose with makeup and be discovered when someone's kiss accidentally pops it OR have your hairpiece lift off with a sudden rush of wind? seeing as my face becomes krakatoa once a month, gimme the pimple.

Be attacked by 20 raccoons OR two large Rottweilers? raccoons. i'd paint a mask on my face and pretend to be one of them. rottweilers, i'd have no chance unless i had a shotgun.

Not eat OR not sleep for three days? not eat. if i didn't sleep for three days i'd either lose my mind or die. really.

Have an affliction that causes you to have bowel movements on your living room floor while sleepwalking OR that causes you to pee on a total stranger twice a year? living room floor. it's tiled.

Get caught by your spouse have an email cybersex relationship with someone else OR have an actual affair with your spouse's best friend and never get caught? email.

Live in a country with the same freedoms as the USA but where terrorists bomb buildings every other day OR live in a police state with no privacy rights, but where everything is bomb free? tough. i'd say freedom.

Thoroughly lick a large frog all over OR lick just once a small two inch area on the backside of a portajohn? ewww. frog please. i am assuming a portajohn is a portable toilet?

Be attacked by 30 angry poodles OR one Doberman? gimme the poodles. i can take them. besides, if there's thirty of them, the're going to spend more time attacking each other for getting in the way of their prey (me).

Be caught picking your nose in your car OR scratching your genitals in the supermarket?

probably nose picking. slightly less offensive to me.

Lick your bathroom drain clean OR mop up the bathroom floor with your head? mop. hair is washable, and my bathroom floor isn't that dirty.

Have the ability to see in a world of blind people OR be a great musician in a world of deaf people? be the musician. being able to see when no one else could would be heartbreaking. at least with the music i would know that no one would hear my mistakes

Have a mouth full of ticks OR a butt full of worms? *puke* worms. at least they aren't sucking my blood.

Get caught shoplifting OR urinating in public? urinating. at least i wasn't stealing.

Drink a shot of yak spit OR a teaspoon of snail slime? snail

Be accused of stealing OR of sexual harassment on the job? eep. stealing, i think. it could be easier to clear your name.

Display only pictures of yourself in your house OR display only the pictures that came with the frames? ahahahaha. the pics that came with the frames.

Be forced to throw up completely through your nose OR throw up normally into a cup and have to take a big gulp of it? oh, gross. both of them. the cup. because i could throw it back up again... puke up the nose is feral.

In a fight be armed with only a table tennis paddle OR a wiffle ball bat? table tennis paddle. you can do some nasty stuff with the edge of one of those.

Be dishonorably discharged from the military OR kicked out of a presigious college for cheating? military

Dress for one year like a nun OR like a mime? the nun. i think i could fall into that habit...

Drive everywhere on a street sweeper OR be able to drive only six months out of the year? street sweeper! that sounds like fun.

Live until you're 90 and die after six months of unbearable pain t hat can't be helped with drugs OR live to 55 and die peacefully? 55.

Have to hold a one inch roach in your mouth unharmed for five minutes OR have to lie motionless on a termite nest for ten minutes? termites. no roach is coming into my mouth.

Be known as a thief OR a liar? liar. i could always deny it.

As a man have a ten inch pencil thin penis OR a two inch long super thick penis? hah... i don't know. 10 inch?

Dive from 20 feet high into six feet of water OR from 40 feet into ten feet of water?eeek. 20 feet. i might survive if i'm careful.

Eat nothing ever again but sweets OR dairy products? dairy. i'd get sick of sweets.

Spend an evening with a person to whom you're very sexually attracted when y ou're extremely tired, dirty, and sweaty from a long day at work OR just go home and watch tv? tv. don't like being dirty and sweaty.

Have to perform surgery on your spouse using only a textbook for instructions OR with no formal training defend your spouse in a trial for a murder he or she appears to be guilty of committing? surgery. it's just like sewing, but messier.

Be covered in itchy scabs OR have popcorn kernel shells stuck in between every tooth?two pet hates of mine. scabs. the popcorn kernel shell drives me madder.

Have your ears where your eyebrows are OR have your nose where your bellybutton is? nose. i could pierce it then.

Have the ability to see ten years into your own future OR one year into the future of the world? my future. i couldn't handle seeing the suffering of the whole world in advnace.

For the rest of your life live in a house infected with ticks OR have hair lice? lice. ticks are more dangerous, aren't they?

 

[ginger9]

haha this is fun

Be spotted by your boss at an adult bookstore OR a strip joint?

Strip Joint. People at my work already go to strip joints anyway

Eat a cigar burnt at one end and chewed at the other OR chew and swallow six packs of bubble gum at one sitting?

Bubble gum of course.

Live in a house with no windows OR no doors?

No doors. I need the sunshine, besides I can climb thru the windows LOL

Have gorilla arms OR ostrich legs?

Ostrich legs. I'll just wear pants or long skirts.

Upon seeing an injured animal on the side of the road, drive by and leave it knowing it's in pain and going to die OR run over it and put it out of its misery?

Drive by. I can always call the local animal shelter and report the injured animal.

Spend a summer driving through the Arizona desert with no air conditioning OR across country with a broken stereo?

This is a hard one, no a/c.

Have frequent spurts of uncontrollable drooling OR be a bed wetter?

Bed wetter. Only few people will ever find out.

Accept a $1000 violation from a cop OR suck on his toes for 10 seconds beside a busy freeway inorder to get the ticket torn up?

$1000

Be a virgin until you're 40 OR have an active sex life without ever climaxing?

Active without climaxing.

Change a flat tired at night in a thunder/lightning storm on the freeway OR run out of gas on a deserted country road?

Change a flat on the freeway. I have changed a flat before. Besides IMO it's much safer on the freeway then on a deserted road (you may run into a psycho and no one is around to help you).

Pee in your pants in front of everyone at a wedding OR laugh uncontrollably at your grandmother's funeral?

Pee in my pants at a wedding. The only person hurt if I peed in my pants would be me but laughing at my grandma's funeral would hurt everyone I care about and I cannot live with that.

Have the kind of personality that causes people to believe you're a conniving manipulator OR a pathological liar?

Conniving manipulator.

Drink a gallon of public hot tub water OR eat a used bar of soap from a public shower?

Bar of soap.

Never use a phone OR electric lights again?

Phone. there's always email or writing letters.

Roll around naked in poison oak for an hour OR eat a dead lab mouse?

Poison oak.

Find a dead fly in your salad OR a really long thick hair in your ice cream?

Dead fly. It's harmless.

Be president of a firm that poaches endangered species OR work for a corrupt politician?

Corrupt Politician. I'd expose his/her ass.

Never be able to sleep lying down OR instantly fall asleep every time you sit down?

I guess I can still sleep but just not lying down right?

Have the ability to become invisible OR to fly?

Fly.

Be a compulsive liar OR marry one you can't divorce?

Be married. Ugh, I hate to say it but I can always have a lover and I rather be a cheater than a complusive liar.

Drink a quart of an elementary school janitor's mop water OR eat the sand from a mall ashtray?

Puke! Mall ashtray. I think they change the sand at least. The mop probably went thru the bathrooms - ewwwww.

Have a small butt on your forehead OR two little feet dangling from beneath your chin?

Butt. Can be covered up.

As a woman get a small, visible tattoo on your forehead OR have EE cup breasts?

Small tattoo. It can look nice actually.

Vote for a politician who has his or her own best interest in mind, but who will also be very good at the job OR vote for one who is selfless but slightly less competent?

Less competent.

Plow a quarter acre plot of land by hand OR plow 20 acres with an ox to help you?

Ox. Just because I like animals and I think it would be kinda cool to work with an ox.

Eat a small can of cat food OR seven lemons in their entirety?

Cat food! I've tasted my dog's food and it ain't bad. LOL

Conceal a ripe pimple on the tip of your nose with makeup and be discovered when someone's kiss accidentally pops it OR have your hairpiece lift off with a sudden rush of wind?

Pimple. everyone gets them, no biggie.

Be attacked by 20 raccoons OR two large Rottweilers?

Raccons. Hopefully I have a better chance of fighting them off.

Not eat OR not sleep for three days?

Not sleep. You can die from not eating for days.

Have an affliction that causes you to have bowel movements on your living room floor while sleepwalking OR that causes you to pee on a total stranger twice a year?

Haha. Ahem, I hope this is not an inappropriate remark, but some people will pay for you to pee on them...

Get caught by your spouse have an email cybersex relationship with someone else OR have an actual affair with your spouse's best friend and never get caught?

Cybersex.

Live in a country with the same freedoms as the USA but where terrorists bomb buildings every other day OR live in a police state with no privacy rights, but where everything is bomb free?

Given me liberty or give me death.

Thoroughly lick a large frog all over OR lick just once a small two inch area on the backside of a portajohn?

Lick a frog. Again there are people who lick toads on purpose - to get high.

Be attacked by 30 angry poodles OR one Doberman?

Don't underestimate angry poodles. More chance to fight off one Doberman.

Be caught picking your nose in your car OR scratching your genitals in the supermarket?

Picking my nose.

Lick your bathroom drain clean OR mop up the bathroom floor with your head?

Mop with my head. I can always wash my head after.

Have the ability to see in a world of blind people OR be a great musician in a world of deaf people?

See.

Have a mouth full of ticks OR a butt full of worms?

Butt of worms.

Get caught shoplifting OR urinating in public?

Urinating. When you gotta go you gotta go, people can sympathize with that.

Drink a shot of yak spit OR a teaspoon of snail slime?

Snail slime. I've seen snail slime, not yak spit.

Be accused of stealing OR of sexual harassment on the job?

Sexual harassment. I'm a horn dog, what can I say?

Display only pictures of yourself in your house OR display only the pictures that came with the frames?

Myself.

Be forced to throw up completely through your nose OR throw up normally into a cup and have to take a big gulp of it?

My nose. That happens when you yak anyways.

In a fight be armed with only a table tennis paddle OR a wiffle ball bat?

Assuming this is not play fighting. Paddle can cause more damage.

Be dishonorably discharged from the military OR kicked out of a presigious college for cheating?

Cheating. I could chalk it up to being young and under-pressure. If I was in a military and I was dishourably discharged that is like a seriously humiliating bad thing.

Dress for one year like a nun OR like a mime?

Nun. I can still make it look hot

Drive everywhere on a street sweeper OR be able to drive only six months out of the year?

Drive six months out of the year. Street sweepers are too damn slow. My bicycle is probably faster!

Live until you're 90 and die after six months of unbearable pain t hat can't be helped with drugs OR live to 55 and die peacefully?

6 months of pain. You didn't mention anything about alcohol.

Have to hold a one inch roach in your mouth unharmed for five minutes OR have to lie motionless on a termite nest for ten minutes?

Termites nest.

Be known as a thief OR a liar?

Liar. I know I said I'd rather be married then be a compulsive liar earlier. But stealing is more offensive to me and also I'm just "known" as a liar, doesn't mean I am one or am a compulsive one.

As a man have a ten inch pencil thin penis OR a two inch long super thick penis?

This is a tough one. Two inch thick. I'm afraid the pencil thin penis might snap off.

Dive from 20 feet high into six feet of water OR from 40 feet into ten feet of water?

Six feet. I have more chance of getting out alive cuz it's not very deep.

Eat nothing ever again but sweets OR dairy products?

Dairy. It's probably more nutritious..

Spend an evening with a person to whom you're very sexually attracted when y ou're extremely tired, dirty, and sweaty from a long day at work OR just go home and watch tv?

An evening out. Maybe he'll be willing to take me back to his place so I can use his shower??

Have to perform surgery on your spouse using only a textbook for instructions OR with no formal training defend your spouse in a trial for a murder he or she appears to be guilty of committing?

Defending him in court. My best friend is a lawyer, I can call her for advice. Also if I fruck up I can live with sending him to jail but not killing him.

Be covered in itchy scabs OR have popcorn kernel shells stuck in between every tooth?

Popcorn kernel.


Have your ears where your eyebrows are OR have your nose where your bellybutton is?

Ears by the eyebrows.

Have the ability to see ten years into your own future OR one year into the future of the world?

10 years into my own future.

For the rest of your life live in a house infected with ticks OR have hair lice?


Ticks at home. At least there's some relief when I'm not at home. Lice in your hair is 24/7.

 

[Kimberleigh]

I love this game!

*Be forced to French kiss someone with no teeth -OR- someone chewing tobacco? No teeth...blech...chewing tobacco.

*Never be able to answer a question -OR- never be able to ask one?
not be able to answer. I love to know things, but I don't need to share that knowledge.

*Eat a cupful of foam packing peanuts -OR- an entire ten year old fruitcake? the packing peanuts. Hands down.

*Quickly lick the back of a urinal at a restaurant -OR- wash your face in the clean water from a toilet bowl at the same restaurant? I'll take the clean toliet for $400, Alex.

*Sponge bathe a sumo wrestler -OR- hand wash 150 dirty sweaty jockstraps? The sumo wrestler.

*Wear orange -OR- a tuxedo all the time? Oooo...the Tux!

*During your wedding reception, have your best friend make a pass at your spouse -OR- five years into your marriage, have one of your parents make a pass at your spouse while drunk at a party? Eww...I guess my BF make the pass.

*Scald your tongue before sitting down to eat a meal you already paid one hundred dollars for -OR- get hit with a bad case of gas ribght before a highly anticipated sexual encounter? Scalding my tongue...hands down.

*Have a small but ripe pimple always on the end of your nose -OR- a small mole with a thick non cuttable hair growing out of it on your cheek? Ick...I guess the pimple.

*Give up your three favorite hobbies in life -OR- lose your sex drive? 3 hobbies.

*Eat a raw catfish -OR- a raw pig's foot? Catfish.

*Get two weeks paid vacation each year and go wherever you want -OR- get six weeks but not be allowed to travel anywhere? I seldom go anywhere now and get 2 weeks, and I'm ok with that so I'd take the 6 weeks to do nothing.

*Have to write a ten page term paper entirely in Morse code -OR- in pig Latin? igpay atinlay

*See the Bald Eagle -OR- the Grizzly Bear become extinct? The bear, i guess

*Have the ability of ten athletes -OR- the knowledge of ten scholars? I'd have to say the 10 scholars, but I hope it's of 10 different subjects!

*Never be able to say the word "love" -OR- never be able to kiss? I guess not say "love" because there are other ways to show it.

*As a man have your testicles eaten off by a squirrel -OR- your eyeballs pecked out by a bird? Christ...have the eyeballs pecked out.

*Have skeletons in your closet -OR- an undeserved ill reputation? skeletons.

*Trip and fall to the ground while walking up to give a speech -OR-forget your spouse's name while introducing him/her to your ex? Eep! Forget my spouse's name. I'm terrified of public speaking and tripping would only enhance that.

*As a man, lose your girlfriend's pet -OR- her diamond ring? diamond ring...it's easier to replace.

*Have to chug a gallon of cold beet juice -OR- four sixteen ounce glasses of warm cod liver oil? I'll take the 1/2 gallon of the cod liver oil.

*Never need to sleep -OR- eat again? wow...sleep, I guess.

 

[Femme]

*Be forced to French kiss someone with no teeth -OR- someone chewing tobacco? no teeth for sure

*Never be able to answer a question -OR- never be able to ask one?
never be able to anwser a question

*Eat a cupful of foam packing peanuts -OR- an entire ten year old fruitcake?fruitcake, i hate nuts

*Quickly lick the back of a urinal at a restaurant -OR- wash your face in the clean water from a toilet bowl at the same restaurant?
wash my face in the toilet

*Sponge bathe a sumo wrestler -OR- hand wash 150 dirty sweaty jockstraps? sumo wrestler

*Wear orange -OR- a tuxedo all the time?orange

*During your wedding reception, have your best friend make a pass at your spouse -OR- five years into your marriage, have one of your parents make a pass at your spouse while drunk at a party?five years into the marriage

*Scald your tongue before sitting down to eat a meal you already paid one hundred dollars for -OR- get hit with a bad case of gas ribght before a highly anticipated sexual encounter?tongue

*Have a small but ripe pimple always on the end of your nose -OR- a small mole with a thick non cuttable hair growing out of it on your cheek?pimple!

*Give up your three favorite hobbies in life -OR- lose your sex drive?ahhhh.. lose sex drive?

*Eat a raw catfish -OR- a raw pig's foot?catfish

*Get two weeks paid vacation each year and go wherever you want -OR- get six weeks but not be allowed to travel anywhere?two weeks

*Have to write a ten page term paper entirely in Morse code -OR- in pig Latin?morse code

*See the Bald Eagle -OR- the Grizzly Bear become extinct?grizzly bear

*Have the ability of ten athletes -OR- the knowledge of ten scholars?ability of ten athletes

*Never be able to say the word "love" -OR- never be able to kiss?say the word love

*As a man have your testicles eaten off by a squirrel -OR- your eyeballs pecked out by a bird?lmfaoo eyeballs

*Have skeletons in your closet -OR- an undeserved ill reputation?
skeletons
*Trip and fall to the ground while walking up to give a speech -OR-forget your spouse's name while introducing him/her to your ex?forget your spouse's name

*As a man, lose your girlfriend's pet -OR- her diamond ring?
ring

*Have to chug a gallon of cold beet juice -OR- four sixteen ounce glasses of warm cod liver oil?cold beet juice

*Never need to sleep -OR- eat again?sleep, <3 food

 

[mmmango]

Be spotted by your boss at an adult bookstore OR a strip joint?
strip joint

Eat a cigar burnt at one end and chewed at the other OR chew and swallow six packs of bubble gum at one sitting?
gum

Live in a house with no windows OR no doors?
no doors

Have gorilla arms OR ostrich legs?
ostrich legs can be hidden

Upon seeing an injured animal on the side of the road, drive by and leave it knowing it's in pain and going to die OR run over it and put it out of its misery?
drive by... i couldn't kill it myself

Spend a summer driving through the Arizona desert with no air conditioning OR across country with a broken stereo?
broken stereo... it's too hot!

Have frequent spurts of uncontrollable drooling OR be a bed wetter?
bed wetter

Accept a $1000 violation from a cop OR suck on his toes for 10 seconds beside a busy freeway inorder to get the ticket torn up?
sadly i'd suck his toes.. hoping they're clean... i'm too poor to lose $1000

Be a virgin until you're 40 OR have an active sex life without ever climaxing?
virgin until 40

Change a flat tired at night in a thunder/lightning storm on the freeway OR run out of gas on a deserted country road?
flat tire... it could be a loooong while before someone gets me if i'm stranded on a country road

Pee in your pants in front of everyone at a wedding OR laugh uncontrollably at your grandmother's funeral?
laughing... it could be about a funny memory of her

Have the kind of personality that causes people to believe you're a conniving manipulator OR a pathological liar?
conniving manipulator

Drink a gallon of public hot tub water OR eat a used bar of soap from a public shower?
soap

Never use a phone OR electric lights again?
no lights... i can't live without a phone

Roll around naked in poison oak for an hour OR eat a dead lab mouse?
cooked? jk i'd roll around naked =)

Find a dead fly in your salad OR a really long thick hair in your ice cream?
hair

Be president of a firm that poaches endangered species OR work for a corrupt politician?
corrupt politician

Never be able to sleep lying down OR instantly fall asleep every time you sit down?
never sleep lying down

Have the ability to become invisible OR to fly?
flying sounds fun... being invisible sounds funner

Be a compulsive liar OR marry one you can't divorce?
i'd be the liar

Drink a quart of an elementary school janitor's mop water OR eat the sand from a mall ashtray?
mop water

Have a small butt on your forehead OR two little feet dangling from beneath your chin?
a butthead can be hidden with bangs right???

As a woman get a small, visible tattoo on your forehead OR have EE cup breasts?
i want boobs =P

Vote for a politician who has his or her own best interest in mind, but who will also be very good at the job OR vote for one who is selfless but slightly less competent?
the one that's good at the job

Plow a quarter acre plot of land by hand OR plow 20 acres with an ox to help you?
by hand

Eat a small can of cat food OR seven lemons in their entirety?
lemons

Conceal a ripe pimple on the tip of your nose with makeup and be discovered when someone's kiss accidentally pops it OR have your hairpiece lift off with a sudden rush of wind?
pimple

Be attacked by 20 raccoons OR two large Rottweilers?
raccoons don't sound as scary

Not eat OR not sleep for three days?
not sleep... i think i've already done that

Have an affliction that causes you to have bowel movements on your living room floor while sleepwalking OR that causes you to pee on a total stranger twice a year?
peeing on a stranger... hahaha

Get caught by your spouse have an email cybersex relationship with someone else OR have an actual affair with your spouse's best friend and never get caught?
email sounds better than real life

Live in a country with the same freedoms as the USA but where terrorists bomb buildings every other day OR live in a police state with no privacy rights, but where everything is bomb free?
i want my freedom

Thoroughly lick a large frog all over OR lick just once a small two inch area on the backside of a portajohn?
2 inches the portapotty(?) it's smaller than a whole frog X_X

Be attacked by 30 angry poodles OR one Doberman?
30 poodles

Be caught picking your nose in your car OR scratching your genitals in the supermarket?
picking my nose

Lick your bathroom drain clean OR mop up the bathroom floor with your head?
i'd mop with my head

Have the ability to see in a world of blind people OR be a great musician in a world of deaf people?
see in a world of blind people

Have a mouth full of ticks OR a butt full of worms?
worms

Get caught shoplifting OR urinating in public?
shoplifting

Drink a shot of yak spit OR a teaspoon of snail slime?
shot of yak spit

Be accused of stealing OR of sexual harassment on the job?
stealing

Display only pictures of yourself in your house OR display only the pictures that came with the frames?
the ones with frames =P

Be forced to throw up completely through your nose OR throw up normally into a cup and have to take a big gulp of it?
my nose... i wouldn't want to drink my puke

In a fight be armed with only a table tennis paddle OR a wiffle ball bat?
paddle

Be dishonorably discharged from the military OR kicked out of a presigious college for cheating?
military

Dress for one year like a nun OR like a mime?
i'd wanna dress like a mime =P

Drive everywhere on a street sweeper OR be able to drive only six months out of the year?
hahah street sweeper

Live until you're 90 and die after six months of unbearable pain t hat can't be helped with drugs OR live to 55 and die peacefully?
90... i'm gonna die anyway

Have to hold a one inch roach in your mouth unharmed for five minutes OR have to lie motionless on a termite nest for ten minutes?
roach... it's better than 10 minutes

Be known as a thief OR a liar?
thief

As a man have a ten inch pencil thin penis OR a two inch long super thick penis?
lmao probably the 2 inch... the other one sounds like a noodle

Dive from 20 feet high into six feet of water OR from 40 feet into ten feet of water?
20 feet

Eat nothing ever again but sweets OR dairy products?
dairy

Spend an evening with a person to whom you're very sexually attracted when y ou're extremely tired, dirty, and sweaty from a long day at work OR just go home and watch tv?
go home and watch tv

Have to perform surgery on your spouse using only a textbook for instructions OR with no formal training defend your spouse in a trial for a murder he or she appears to be guilty of committing?
defend my spouse in a trial... i could never do surgery... blood gets me weak

Be covered in itchy scabs OR have popcorn kernel shells stuck in between every tooth?
itchy scabs

Have your ears where your eyebrows are OR have your nose where your bellybutton is?
nose where my bellybutton is

Have the ability to see ten years into your own future OR one year into the future of the world?
probably the world... i think it would be boring living my life knowing what's gonna happen to me

For the rest of your life live in a house infected with ticks OR have hair lice?
ticks in my house... at least i won't be home ALL the time

 

[medusalox]

Be spotted by your boss at an adult bookstore OR a strip joint?
Strip joint. Bigger crowd, easier to fade away in.

Eat a cigar burnt at one end and chewed at the other OR chew and swallow six packs of bubble gum at one sitting?

I'd swallow that gum.

Live in a house with no windows OR no doors?

No doors. I'm not prone to claustrophobia, but no windows could start it.

Have gorilla arms OR ostrich legs?

Ostrich legs. They run pretty damn fast!

Upon seeing an injured animal on the side of the road, drive by and leave it knowing it's in pain and going to die OR run over it and put it out of its misery?

I usually drive by, crying hysterically.

Spend a summer driving through the Arizona desert with no air conditioning OR across country with a broken stereo?

No A/C. I can survive well in the heat...as long as my car won't overheat!

Have frequent spurts of uncontrollable drooling OR be a bed wetter?

Drooling. Easier to clean up!

Accept a $1000 violation from a cop OR suck on his toes for 10 seconds beside a busy freeway inorder to get the ticket torn up?

$1000. I work at a police station...you do NOT want to suck on anyones toes!

Be a virgin until you're 40 OR have an active sex life without ever climaxing?

Active without climaxing.

Change a flat tired at night in a thunder/lightning storm on the freeway OR run out of gas on a deserted country road?

Change a flat. I know how to do that. And, there aren't too many horror movies about that scenario.

Pee in your pants in front of everyone at a wedding OR laugh uncontrollably at your grandmother's funeral?

Oooh. I'd pee my pants.

Have the kind of personality that causes people to believe you're a conniving manipulator OR a pathological liar?

Conniving manipulator.

Drink a gallon of public hot tub water OR eat a used bar of soap from a public shower?

Oh, oh god... uhhh....eat the bar of soap. It'd go down faster.

Never use a phone OR electric lights again?

Phone. I never really call anyone, anyways.

Roll around naked in poison oak for an hour OR eat a dead lab mouse?

Poison oak. I'm a vegetarian

Find a dead fly in your salad OR a really long thick hair in your ice cream?

Dead fly. Easier to flick away.

Be president of a firm that poaches endangered species OR work for a corrupt politician?

Corrupt Politician.

Never be able to sleep lying down OR instantly fall asleep every time you sit down?

Never sleep lying down. That would solve my 'falling asleep whilst snuggling and watching movies' problem!

Have the ability to become invisible OR to fly?

Fly, but only if it comes with the ability of never crashing!

Be a compulsive liar OR marry one you can't divorce?

Be one. I don't cheat, and that'd be the only way I could be happy in the latter.

Drink a quart of an elementary school janitor's mop water OR eat the sand from a mall ashtray?

Ashtray.

Have a small butt on your forehead OR two little feet dangling from beneath your chin?

AHAHA. Butt on my forehead. I have bangs.

As a woman get a small, visible tattoo on your forehead OR have EE cup breasts?

Small tattoo. No doubt.

Vote for a politician who has his or her own best interest in mind, but who will also be very good at the job OR vote for one who is selfless but slightly less competent?

The first one. I want someone who's good at the job, and really, everyone has his own best interest in mind.

Plow a quarter acre plot of land by hand OR plow 20 acres with an ox to help you?

One by hand, let the Ox have a day off.

Eat a small can of cat food OR seven lemons in their entirety?

Seven lemons. Cat food isn't part of my diet.

Conceal a ripe pimple on the tip of your nose with makeup and be discovered when someone's kiss accidentally pops it OR have your hairpiece lift off with a sudden rush of wind?

Hairpiece. This has happened (I wear fake dreads like in my avatar)...no biggie.

Be attacked by 20 raccoons OR two large Rottweilers?

I think I'd die either way. Rottweilers, 2:1 is better odds than 20:1.

Not eat OR not sleep for three days?

Not eat. I like sleep.

Have an affliction that causes you to have bowel movements on your living room floor while sleepwalking OR that causes you to pee on a total stranger twice a year?

Pee on a total stranger. I have nice carpet.

Get caught by your spouse have an email cybersex relationship with someone else OR have an actual affair with your spouse's best friend and never get caught?

Cybersex.

Live in a country with the same freedoms as the USA but where terrorists bomb buildings every other day OR live in a police state with no privacy rights, but where everything is bomb free?

Toughie. A police state.

Thoroughly lick a large frog all over OR lick just once a small two inch area on the backside of a portajohn?

Lick a frog.

Be attacked by 30 angry poodles OR one Doberman?

One doberman. Again, with the odds.

Be caught picking your nose in your car OR scratching your genitals in the supermarket?

Picking my nose.

Lick your bathroom drain clean OR mop up the bathroom floor with your head?

Mop with my head.

Have the ability to see in a world of blind people OR be a great musician in a world of deaf people?

See.

Have a mouth full of ticks OR a butt full of worms?

OH, gross. Mouth full of ticks, then I can just spit those suckers out.

Get caught shoplifting OR urinating in public?

Urinating. It's a cheaper ticket.

Drink a shot of yak spit OR a teaspoon of snail slime?

Snail slime. It's a smaller amount.

Be accused of stealing OR of sexual harassment on the job?

Sexual harassment.

Display only pictures of yourself in your house OR display only the pictures that came with the frames?

Myself.

Be forced to throw up completely through your nose OR throw up normally into a cup and have to take a big gulp of it?

My nose. It's not fun, but at least it'll be gone.

In a fight be armed with only a table tennis paddle OR a wiffle ball bat?

Paddle.

Be dishonorably discharged from the military OR kicked out of a presigious college for cheating?

Cheating.

Dress for one year like a nun OR like a mime?

Nun. As long as I don't have to ACT like a nun.

Drive everywhere on a street sweeper OR be able to drive only six months out of the year?

Street sweeper. That'd be fun!

Live until you're 90 and die after six months of unbearable pain t hat can't be helped with drugs OR live to 55 and die peacefully?
90 with pain.

Have to hold a one inch roach in your mouth unharmed for five minutes OR have to lie motionless on a termite nest for ten minutes?

Roach in my mouth.

Be known as a thief OR a liar?

Liar.

As a man have a ten inch pencil thin penis OR a two inch long super thick penis?

2 inch thick. I think.

Dive from 20 feet high into six feet of water OR from 40 feet into ten feet of water?

40 feet to 10 feet. the water is deeper, I might not crash to the bottom and die.

Eat nothing ever again but sweets OR dairy products?

Sweets. I'll be 900000 lbs, but happy.

Spend an evening with a person to whom you're very sexually attracted when y ou're extremely tired, dirty, and sweaty from a long day at work OR just go home and watch tv?

An evening out. I've done that scenario, it works out fine.

Have to perform surgery on your spouse using only a textbook for instructions OR with no formal training defend your spouse in a trial for a murder he or she appears to be guilty of committing?

Surgery. I have a nearly completed nursing degree under my belt, that'd help.

Be covered in itchy scabs OR have popcorn kernel shells stuck in between every tooth?

Itchy scabs. I secretly like picking at them, anyways.


Have your ears where your eyebrows are OR have your nose where your bellybutton is?

Ears by the eyebrows. Although, my earrings may get in my eyes.

Have the ability to see ten years into your own future OR one year into the future of the world?

1 year for the world. I like the element of suprise in my own life.

For the rest of your life live in a house infected with ticks OR have hair lice?

Ticks in my house.

 

[Pei]

The qns are so... LOL

*Be forced to French kiss someone with no teeth -OR- someone chewing tobacco?

*Never be able to answer a question -OR- never be able to ask one?

*Eat a cupful of foam packing peanuts -OR- an entire ten year old fruitcake?

*Quickly lick the back of a urinal at a restaurant -OR- wash your face in the clean water from a toilet bowl at the same restaurant?

*Sponge bathe a sumo wrestler -OR- hand wash 150 dirty sweaty jockstraps?

*Wear orange -OR- a tuxedo all the time?

*During your wedding reception, have your best friend make a pass at your spouse -OR- five years into your marriage, have one of your parents make a pass at your spouse while drunk at a party?

*Scald your tongue before sitting down to eat a meal you already paid one hundred dollars for -OR- get hit with a bad case of gas ribght before a highly anticipated sexual encounter?

*Have a small but ripe pimple always on the end of your nose -OR- a small mole with a thick non cuttable hair growing out of it on your cheek?

*Give up your three favorite hobbies in life -OR- lose your sex drive?

*Eat a raw catfish -OR- a raw pig's foot?

*Get two weeks paid vacation each year and go wherever you want -OR- get six weeks but not be allowed to travel anywhere?

*Have to write a ten page term paper entirely in Morse code -OR- in pig Latin?

*See the Bald Eagle -OR- the Grizzly Bear become extinct?

*Have the ability of ten athletes -OR- the knowledge of ten scholars?

*Never be able to say the word "love" -OR- never be able to kiss?

As a man have your testicles eaten off by a squirrel -OR- your eyeballs pecked out by a bird? WTF?!? =D

*Have skeletons in your closet -OR- an undeserved ill reputation?

*Trip and fall to the ground while walking up to give a speech -OR-forget your spouse's name while introducing him/her to your ex?

*As a man, lose your girlfriend's pet -OR- her diamond ring?

*Have to chug a gallon of cold beet juice -OR- four sixteen ounce glasses of warm cod liver oil?

*Never need to sleep -OR- eat again?

 

[kaliraksha]

Be spotted by your boss at an adult bookstore OR a strip joint?
Strip joint as long as I’m not the one taking it off. Who cares really? They would be there too.

Eat a cigar burnt at one end and chewed at the other OR chew and swallow six packs of bubble gum at one sitting?

Mm the gum.

Live in a house with no windows OR no doors?

No windows, light= bad.

Have gorilla arms OR ostrich legs?

Ostrich legs, for sure.

Upon seeing an injured animal on the side of the road, drive by and leave it knowing it's in pain and going to die OR run over it and put it out of its misery?

I use to drive by until that point was made to me, and now I just freak out and don’t know what to do but end up driving by.

Spend a summer driving through the Arizona desert with no air conditioning OR across country with a broken stereo?

Broken stereo, I can entertain myself.

Have frequent spurts of uncontrollable drooling OR be a bed wetter?

Drooling. Easier to clean up! <-aggreed

Accept a $1000 violation from a cop OR suck on his toes for 10 seconds beside a busy freeway in order to get the ticket torn up?

$1000. I’m sure I could get out of part of the fine somehow.

Be a virgin until you're 40 OR have an active sex life without ever climaxing?

Active without climaxing.

Change a flat tired at night in a thunder/lightning storm on the freeway OR run out of gas on a deserted country road?

Change a flat or attempt to.

Pee in your pants in front of everyone at a wedding OR laugh uncontrollably at your grandmother's funeral?

Laugh at my grandmother’s funeral, because it would be totally appropriate and she would understand 110%. My grandmother laughed hysterically at her sister’s funeral thinking about her and remembering that she beat her at everything, including dying.

Have the kind of personality that causes people to believe you're a conniving manipulator OR a pathological liar?

Manipulator!

Drink a gallon of public hot tub water OR eat a used bar of soap from a public shower?

I would have to say the water, although goodness a whole gallon, really?

Never use a phone OR electric lights again?

Phone- that damned thing is a leash anyway. Then I get yelled at by my friends/parents when I haven’t picked it up for a day or so.

Roll around naked in poison oak for an hour OR eat a dead lab mouse?

Poison oak.

Find a dead fly in your salad OR a really long thick hair in your ice cream?

I’m going to have to go for the hair.

Be president of a firm that poaches endangered species OR work for a corrupt politician?

Easy choice, corrupt politician.

Never be able to sleep lying down OR instantly fall asleep every time you sit down?

Never sleep lying down. The other one seems more troublesome.

Have the ability to become invisible OR to fly?

Invisible- Heroes anyone?

Be a compulsive liar OR marry one you can't divorce?

I would rather be it, I think I would lie about silly things.

Drink a quart of an elementary school janitor's mop water OR eat the sand from a mall ashtray?

If I can but the ashtray juice in some kind of delicious paste like hummus then maybe.

Have a small butt on your forehead OR two little feet dangling from beneath your chin?

Aww the little feet sounds so cute. But definitely a small butt on my forehead.

As a woman get a small, visible tattoo on your forehead OR have EE cup breasts?

Yikes, EE breasts b/c I can get breast reduction.

Vote for a politician who has his or her own best interest in mind, but who will also be very good at the job OR vote for one who is selfless but slightly less competent?

Second because he/she is described as “slightly” less competent.

Plow a quarter acre plot of land by hand OR plow 20 acres with an ox to help you?

1/4 by hand.

Eat a small can of cat food OR seven lemons in their entirety?

Seven lemons.

Conceal a ripe pimple on the tip of your nose with makeup and be discovered when someone's kiss accidentally pops it OR have your hairpiece lift off with a sudden rush of wind?

Hairpiece, the other one seems like something out of Dear Diaries.

Be attacked by 20 raccoons OR two large Rottweilers?

I’m going to say raccoons.

Not eat OR not sleep for three days?

Not eat… especially if I can sleep through all 3 days, hehe.

Have an affliction that causes you to have bowel movements on your living room floor while sleepwalking OR that causes you to pee on a total stranger twice a year?

I don’t understand why it’s twice a year, but I’m going to say bowel movement. My dogs have done it on the carpet and I’ve had to pick it up… plus what is the stranger is in my living room. Best of all, my living room doesn’t have carpet it’s concrete so the choice is clear!

Get caught by your spouse have an email cybersex relationship with someone else OR have an actual affair with your spouse's best friend and never get caught?

Email cybersex.

Live in a country with the same freedoms as the USA but where terrorists bomb buildings every other day OR live in a police state with no privacy rights, but where everything is bomb free?

A police state =(

Thoroughly lick a large frog all over OR lick just once a small two inch area on the backside of a portajohn?

Portajohn I guess… like the tiniest lick in the world.

Be attacked by 30 angry poodles OR one Doberman?

I’m going to take the poodles if they are miniature and as much as I hate to say this but I could probably kick them off.

Be caught picking your nose in your car OR scratching your genitals in the supermarket?

I will gladly pick my nose in the car instead of shop with people who saw me touch my genitals around their take home food.

Lick your bathroom drain clean OR mop up the bathroom floor with your head?

Mop with my head, that hairpiece comes in handy right about now.

Have the ability to see in a world of blind people OR be a great musician in a world of deaf people?

I think I could bring more to the world of blind people, so I would rather see.

Have a mouth full of ticks OR a butt full of worms?

Ticks, ticks… worms and butt are like double gross.

Get caught shoplifting OR urinating in public?

Urinating… sometimes you really gotta go.

Drink a shot of yak spit OR a teaspoon of snail slime?

OH GOODNESS… umm snails slime b/c it’s smaller.

Be accused of stealing OR of sexual harassment on the job?

Sexual harassment most definitely without a question.

Display only pictures of yourself in your house OR display only the pictures that came with the frames?

My room use to be full of pictures of me and because my mom was lazy about framing pics I would frame pics of me and put them in her room and in the living room and on the fridge.

Be forced to throw up completely through your nose OR throw up normally into a cup and have to take a big gulp of it?

My nose, oww will that burn.

In a fight be armed with only a table tennis paddle OR a wiffle ball bat?

Paddle…

Be dishonorably discharged from the military OR kicked out of a prestigious college for cheating?

Dishonorably discharged- although in reality I don’t know what that entails…

Dress for one year like a nun OR like a mime?

Either one sounds fun, but I would say mime… all black and some white face paint.

Drive everywhere on a street sweeper OR be able to drive only six months out of the year?

Street sweeper… people would have to get out of my way and I could park wherever I please.

Live until you're 90 and die after six months of unbearable pain t hat can't be helped with drugs OR live to 55 and die peacefully?
90 with pain, please.

Have to hold a one inch roach in your mouth unharmed for five minutes OR have to lie motionless on a termite nest for ten minutes?

I have such a small mouth, but I am going to go with roach.

Be known as a thief OR a liar?

Hmm a liar. Because in some ways a thief is also a liar. At least this way I only get one title.

As a man have a ten inch pencil thin penis OR a two inch long super thick penis?

2 incher.

Dive from 20 feet high into six feet of water OR from 40 feet into ten feet of water?

20 Ft into 6 ft. The other way it’s twice the momentum and not even twice the depth of water to offset it.

Eat nothing ever again but sweets OR dairy products?

Oh goodness cheese. Definitely dairy, I’m not a big fan of sweets.

Spend an evening with a person to whom you're very sexually attracted when you're extremely tired, dirty, and sweaty from a long day at work OR just go home and watch tv?

Go out!

Have to perform surgery on your spouse using only a textbook for instructions OR with no formal training defend your spouse in a trial for a murder he or she appears to be guilty of committing?

Depends on the type of surgery, considering the game I bet it is life threatening and I think I would be much better in court. So defend in the court of law.

Be covered in itchy scabs OR have popcorn kernel shells stuck in between every tooth?

I think I can deal with kernels easier. So those.


Have your ears where your eyebrows are OR have your nose where your bellybutton is?

Ears by the eyebrows. That seems a bit more natural.

Have the ability to see ten years into your own future OR one year into the future of the world?

10 yrs into the future, I don’t think 1 yr for the world will really do much of a difference… unless I can specifically see 1 yr into every single person on earth’s life.

For the rest of your life live in a house infected with ticks OR have hair lice?

Ticks in my house.

 

[claresauntie]

I'm going back to the original questions, here, since I hadn't participated 'til now.


*Be forced to French kiss someone with no teeth -OR- someone chewing tobacco?
Gah! no teeth, I guess. *hurls*

*Never be able to answer a question -OR- never be able to ask one?
Never be able to answer. I will always have questions to ask!

*Eat a cupful of foam packing peanuts -OR- an entire ten year old fruitcake?
The fruitcake is, at least, allegegly edible.

*Quickly lick the back of a urinal at a restaurant -OR- wash your face in the clean water from a toilet bowl at the same restaurant?
Oh my. I guess the 2nd, but this makes me sick to think about.

*Sponge bathe a sumo wrestler -OR- hand wash 150 dirty sweaty jockstraps?
Sponge bath. It would be an adventure AND a public service!

*Wear orange -OR- a tuxedo all the time?
Orange.

*During your wedding reception, have your best friend make a pass at your spouse -OR- five years into your marriage, have one of your parents make a pass at your spouse while drunk at a party?
Thank goodness I'm not in the kind of family where this would happen! Um... I guess my best friend.

*Scald your tongue before sitting down to eat a meal you already paid one hundred dollars for -OR- get hit with a bad case of gas ribght before a highly anticipated sexual encounter?
The 1st. Gas is really uncomfortable!

*Have a small but ripe pimple always on the end of your nose -OR- a small mole with a thick non cuttable hair growing out of it on your cheek?
This is a riot! Um... the mole, I suppose, because at least I could just look defiant and non-vain rather than having a pimple.

*Give up your three favorite hobbies in life -OR- lose your sex drive?
Unfortunately, I lost my sex drive due to some meds I'm on. I'd rather give up the hobbies.

*Eat a raw catfish -OR- a raw pig's foot?
Catfish.

*Get two weeks paid vacation each year and go wherever you want -OR- get six weeks but not be allowed to travel anywhere?
Two weeks.

*Have to write a ten page term paper entirely in Morse code -OR- in pig Latin?
Morse code, because I never did get the hang of Pig Latin!

*See the Bald Eagle -OR- the Grizzly Bear become extinct?
Grizzly.

*Have the ability of ten athletes -OR- the knowledge of ten scholars?
Scholars.

*Never be able to say the word "love" -OR- never be able to kiss?
The love thing! Kissing is fun.

*As a man have your testicles eaten off by a squirrel -OR- your eyeballs pecked out by a bird?
I am not sure how painful the testicle thing would be, but I think I'd rather have eyesight.

*Have skeletons in your closet -OR- an undeserved ill reputation?
Skeletons.

*Trip and fall to the ground while walking up to give a speech -OR-forget your spouse's name while introducing him/her to your ex?
Tripping, for sure.

*As a man, lose your girlfriend's pet -OR- her diamond ring?
The ring. Nobody ever better lose my pet, I know that much!

*Have to chug a gallon of cold beet juice -OR- four sixteen ounce glasses of warm cod liver oil?
Beet juice.

*Never need to sleep -OR- eat again?
Eat. I like sleeping- I actually enjoy it.

 

[Holly]

Be spotted by your boss at an adult bookstore OR a strip joint?
Strip joint- I mean I could be there with the girls for a stagette or something. The boss couldn't really say anything either considering they're there too!

Eat a cigar burnt at one end and chewed at the other OR chew and swallow six packs of bubble gum at one sitting?

Gum, I could never eat a cigar o_o

Live in a house with no windows OR no doors?

No windows, I need doors to get out

Plus id have plenty of lights inside, and i could go outside for sunlight

Have gorilla arms OR ostrich legs?

Ostrich legs! So I could run faaaaaaast!

Upon seeing an injured animal on the side of the road, drive by and leave it knowing it's in pain and going to die OR run over it and put it out of its misery?

I don't think i've ever seen a nanimal on the road. But I guess I'd drive by *cringe*

Spend a summer driving through the Arizona desert with no air conditioning OR across country with a broken stereo?

Broken stereo. Ive driven through Arizona before, I think I'd die wihout air conditioning.

Have frequent spurts of uncontrollable drooling OR be a bed wetter?

Drooling, bed wetting is just ew

Accept a $1000 violation from a cop OR suck on his toes for 10 seconds beside a busy freeway in order to get the ticket torn up?

$1000. I'm not sucking on anyones anything to get out of a violation or whatever.

Be a virgin until you're 40 OR have an active sex life without ever climaxing?

Active without climaxing

Change a flat tired at night in a thunder/lightning storm on the freeway OR run out of gas on a deserted country road?

Change a flat.

Pee in your pants in front of everyone at a wedding OR laugh uncontrollably at your grandmother's funeral?

Laugh at my grandmother’s funeral. Peeing my pants would also be ew.

Have the kind of personality that causes people to believe you're a conniving manipulator OR a pathological liar?

Definitely a manipulator

Drink a gallon of public hot tub water OR eat a used bar of soap from a public shower?

Ewwwwwwww. The water

Never use a phone OR electric lights again?

Phone, I hate it anyhow

Roll around naked in poison oak for an hour OR eat a dead lab mouse?

Poison oak!

Find a dead fly in your salad OR a really long thick hair in your ice cream?

Ill say hair, but either way I'd stop eating it.

Be president of a firm that poaches endangered species OR work for a corrupt politician?

Corrupt politician

Never be able to sleep lying down OR instantly fall asleep every time you sit down?

Never sleep lying down, I like sitting

Have the ability to become invisible OR to fly?

Invisible
Be a compulsive liar OR marry one you

Compulsive liar

Drink a quart of an elementary school janitor's mop water OR eat the sand from a mall ashtray?

Mop water. Sand is just too crunchy

Have a small butt on your forehead OR two little feet dangling from beneath your chin?

A small butt on my forehead. I dont want anything dangling from my chin

As a woman get a small, visible tattoo on your forehead OR have EE cup breasts?

Tattoo

Vote for a politician who has his or her own best interest in mind, but who will also be very good at the job OR vote for one who is selfless but slightly less competent?

The slightly less competent one

Plow a quarter acre plot of land by hand OR plow 20 acres with an ox to help you?

I dont know how much an acre is, so ill say 20 with an ox

Eat a small can of cat food OR seven lemons in their entirety?

Seven lemons!

Conceal a ripe pimple on the tip of your nose with makeup and be discovered when someone's kiss accidentally pops it OR have your hairpiece lift off with a sudden rush of wind?

Hairpiece, the other one sounds rather gross

Be attacked by 20 raccoons OR two large Rottweilers?

Rottweilers

Not eat OR not sleep for three days?

Not Sleep

Have an affliction that causes you to have bowel movements on your living room floor while sleepwalking OR that causes you to pee on a total stranger twice a year?

Peeing, because I dont kno this total stranger and probably wont ever see them again

Get caught by your spouse have an email cybersex relationship with someone else OR have an actual affair with your spouse's best friend and never get caught?

Email cybersex I suppose

Live in a country with the same freedoms as the USA but where terrorists bomb buildings every other day OR live in a police state with no privacy rights, but where everything is bomb free?

A police state

Thoroughly lick a large frog all over OR lick just once a small two inch area on the backside of a portajohn?

Portajohn, im not thouroughly licking a frog

Be attacked by 30 angry poodles OR one Doberman?

Poodles!

Be caught picking your nose in your car OR scratching your genitals in the supermarket?

Pickin the nose

Lick your bathroom drain clean OR mop up the bathroom floor with your head?

Mopping for sure

Have the ability to see in a world of blind people OR be a great musician in a world of deaf people?

Seeing! You could tell everyone what you could se, it would be nice for the blind people

Have a mouth full of ticks OR a butt full of worms?

Ticks I guess, I dont want my butt full of worms, or anything.

Get caught shoplifting OR urinating in public?

Urinating!

Drink a shot of yak spit OR a teaspoon of snail slime?

Snail slime >< cuz im sure yak spit would be warm and extra gross

Be accused of stealing OR of sexual harassment on the job?

Stealing

Display only pictures of yourself in your house OR display only the pictures that came with the frames?

Pictures that come with the frames

Be forced to throw up completely through your nose OR throw up normally into a cup and have to take a big gulp of it?

Normally, in a cup, and then id throw up again

In a fight be armed with only a table tennis paddle OR a wiffle ball bat?

The bat sounds good to me

Be dishonorably discharged from the military OR kicked out of a prestigious college for cheating?

Dishonorably discharged

Dress for one year like a nun OR like a mime?

Like a mime, even thought they freak me out

Drive everywhere on a street sweeper OR be able to drive only six months out of the year?

Street sweeper!

Live until you're 90 and die after six months of unbearable pain t hat can't be helped with drugs OR live to 55 and die peacefully?
90, with pain

Have to hold a one inch roach in your mouth unharmed for five minutes OR have to lie motionless on a termite nest for ten minutes?

Ill go with the roach in my mouth, sounds like fear factor

Be known as a thief OR a liar?

Liar

As a man have a ten inch pencil thin penis OR a two inch long super thick penis?

2 incher.

Dive from 20 feet high into six feet of water OR from 40 feet into ten feet of water?

20 Ft into 6 ft. The other one you would just hit the bottom twice as hard

Eat nothing ever again but sweets OR dairy products?

Dairy products, I get sick of sweets after eating like one

Spend an evening with a person to whom you're very sexually attracted when you're extremely tired, dirty, and sweaty from a long day at work OR just go home and watch tv?

Go out

Have to perform surgery on your spouse using only a textbook for instructions OR with no formal training defend your spouse in a trial for a murder he or she appears to be guilty of committing?

Surgery, I'm bad at law, and argueing

Be covered in itchy scabs OR have popcorn kernel shells stuck in between every tooth?

Uhh the kernels, less visible, easier to remove as well

Have your ears where your eyebrows are OR have your nose where your bellybutton is?

Ears where my eyebrows are. That would be weird having my nose down there, id be smelling shirts all day long

Have the ability to see ten years into your own future OR one year into the future of the world?

10 yrs into my own future

For the rest of your life live in a house infected with ticks OR have hair lice?

Ticks in my house sounds better than lice on me.

 

[lilviolingrrl]

*Be forced to French kiss someone with no teeth -OR- someone chewing tobacco?

No teeth...one day, my Hubby and I will probably have dentures and will probably be too lazy to put them in sometimes...haha.

*Never be able to answer a question -OR- never be able to ask one?

Oooo tough. I guess never be able to ask one, as my job requires me to answer a LOT of questions. What do you think? GAH! MESSED UP ALREADY!

*Eat a cupful of foam packing peanuts -OR- an entire ten year old fruitcake?

Ew, anything ten years old should NOT be consumed (I'm not wine drinker, obviously, haha). Packing peanuts here I come!

*Quickly lick the back of a urinal at a restaurant -OR- wash your face in the clean water from a toilet bowl at the same restaurant?

The second option has the word "clean" in it. I'll go with that.

*Sponge bathe a sumo wrestler -OR- hand wash 150 dirty sweaty jockstraps?

Easy...sponge bathe a sumo wrestler...I'm a nursing assistant, I give bed baths to people of ALL sizes on a daily basis!

*Wear orange -OR- a tuxedo all the time?

Tuxedo me, baby. Orange is fun, but nothing's classier than black and white.

*During your wedding reception, have your best friend make a pass at your spouse -OR- five years into your marriage, have one of your parents make a pass at your spouse while drunk at a party?

Seeing as my best friend IS my soon-to-be-spouse, I'll go with the former. Ed hitting on Ed sounds HOT!

*Scald your tongue before sitting down to eat a meal you already paid one hundred dollars for -OR- get hit with a bad case of gas right before a highly anticipated sexual encounter?

Scald my tongue...I ALWAYS wolf my food down, hot or not. I'm a little piggie!

*Have a small but ripe pimple always on the end of your nose -OR- a small mole with a thick non cuttable hair growing out of it on your cheek?

Pimple...come on, this is a MAKEUP COMMUNITY...we all have our clever pimple hiding tricks! Non cuttable just sounds terrible... :O

*Give up your three favorite hobbies in life -OR- lose your sex drive?

What if one of my hobbies IS sex??? Oh crap, I out smarted this question!!! Or did I??? Crap. Now I'm confused.

*Eat a raw catfish -OR- a raw pig's foot?

Can you even EAT a raw pig's foot??? I'll take the catfish.

*Get two weeks paid vacation each year and go wherever you want -OR- get six weeks but not be allowed to travel anywhere?

Nowhere? Not even to the grocery store? If I can travel locally, I'll go with the latter. If not, former all the way!

*Have to write a ten page term paper entirely in Morse code -OR- in pig Latin?

Pig Latin...Morse code sounds like a CRAZY daunting task. You have to write out each letter of each word...

*See the Bald Eagle -OR- the Grizzly Bear become extinct?

Grizzly Bear? I don't know, I'm an animal lover! They both should stick around!

*Have the ability of ten athletes -OR- the knowledge of ten scholars?

Scholars, definitely, no questions. Screw sports! Now maybe I can finally know all of those languages I wish I could speak...

*Never be able to say the word "love" -OR- never be able to kiss?

Never be able to say the word "love"...there's a LOT of ways you can show it!

*As a man have your testicles eaten off by a squirrel -OR- your eyeballs pecked out by a bird?

Eye stuff kind of grosses me out...bye bye balls!

*Have skeletons in your closet -OR- an undeserved ill reputation?

The latter...who cares what others think if you know in your heart you're a good person? (Yes, that sounds incredibly cheesy, but I truly believe it.)

*Trip and fall to the ground while walking up to give a speech -OR-forget your spouse's name while introducing him/her to your ex?

Trip and fall...I do this all the time anyways!

*As a man, lose your girlfriend's pet -OR- her diamond ring?

Diamond ring...if the girlfriend was me, I wouldn't care. Well, maybe a little because I'm sure the ring would mean something, but I've never really cared for jewelry.

*Have to chug a gallon of cold beet juice -OR- four sixteen ounce glasses of warm cod liver oil?

Beet juice. WARM COD LIVER OIL!? Barf!

*Never need to sleep -OR- eat again?

Sleep, I guess. I never do it anyway, thanks to full time work and full time school!

 

[Indigowaters]

Be spotted by your boss at an adult bookstore OR a strip joint?
Strip joint - it could be a bachelorette party

Eat a cigar burnt at one end and chewed at the other OR chew and swallow six packs of bubble gum at one sitting?

Gum, I probably have chewed that much in a sitting but not swallowed it.

Live in a house with no windows OR no doors?

No doors. We didn't say how big the windows would be. And I can't do without light.

Have gorilla arms OR ostrich legs?

Ostrich legs! So I could outrun everyone!

Upon seeing an injured animal on the side of the road, drive by and leave it knowing it's in pain and going to die OR run over it and put it out of its misery?

Drive by.

Spend a summer driving through the Arizona desert with no air conditioning OR across country with a broken stereo?

Broken stereo, I can sing and make up songs, but no air conditioning to a person in Florida is like Hell.

Have frequent spurts of uncontrollable drooling OR be a bed wetter?

Drooling

Accept a $1000 violation from a cop OR suck on his toes for 10 seconds beside a busy freeway in order to get the ticket torn up?

Give me the ticket!

Be a virgin until you're 40 OR have an active sex life without ever climaxing?

Lol. Virgin til I'm 40. Then it's on!

Change a flat tired at night in a thunder/lightning storm on the freeway OR run out of gas on a deserted country road?

Change a tire, I've seen those "deserted road" movies.

Pee in your pants in front of everyone at a wedding OR laugh uncontrollably at your grandmother's funeral?

Laugh. I'd have someone explain.

Have the kind of personality that causes people to believe you're a conniving manipulator OR a pathological liar?

Manipulator. I hate liars!

Drink a gallon of public hot tub water OR eat a used bar of soap from a public shower?

The soap. I could shave it first. Aaah!

Never use a phone OR electric lights again?

Phone. I rarely use it now.

Roll around naked in poison oak for an hour OR eat a dead lab mouse?

Poison oak! Calamine hear I come!

Find a dead fly in your salad OR a really long thick hair in your ice cream?

We said "find" not eat right? In that case, the hair but I wouldn't continue

Be president of a firm that poaches endangered species OR work for a corrupt politician?

Poaching.

I work for a corrupt butthole already.

Never be able to sleep lying down OR instantly fall asleep every time you sit down?

Sleep sitting

Have the ability to become invisible OR to fly?

Invisible, so I can see who's talking about me.

Be a compulsive liar OR marry one you

Be the one. I can't stand them.

Drink a quart of an elementary school janitor's mop water OR eat the sand from a mall ashtray?

Sand fresh in the morning

Have a small butt on your forehead OR two little feet dangling from beneath your chin?

Small butt. I'd wear alot of scarves. Lol.

As a woman get a small, visible tattoo on your forehead OR have EE cup breasts?

EE, I'm already a DDD

Vote for a politician who has his or her own best interest in mind, but who will also be very good at the job OR vote for one who is selfless but slightly less competent?

Less competent, he/she can learn.

Plow a quarter acre plot of land by hand OR plow 20 acres with an ox to help you?

By hand. Do you know what it takes to push an ox?

Eat a small can of cat food OR seven lemons in their entirety?

Lemons. I eat em' anyways.

Conceal a ripe pimple on the tip of your nose with makeup and be discovered when someone's kiss accidentally pops it OR have your hairpiece lift off with a sudden rush of wind?

Pimple, their loss.

Be attacked by 20 raccoons OR two large Rottweilers?

Rottweilers

Not eat OR not sleep for three days?

Not eat. I could always drink.

Have an affliction that causes you to have bowel movements on your living room floor while sleepwalking OR that causes you to pee on a total stranger twice a year?

Pee on a stranger.

Get caught by your spouse have an email cybersex relationship with someone else OR have an actual affair with your spouse's best friend and never get caught?

Email

Live in a country with the same freedoms as the USA but where terrorists bomb buildings every other day OR live in a police state with no privacy rights, but where everything is bomb free?

Police state

Thoroughly lick a large frog all over OR lick just once a small two inch area on the backside of a portajohn?

Give me a fresh never-used Portajohn

Be attacked by 30 angry poodles OR one Doberman?

Poodles. What are they gonna do?

Be caught picking your nose in your car OR scratching your genitals in the supermarket?

Nose. I probably have been caught.

Lick your bathroom drain clean OR mop up the bathroom floor with your head?

Mop.

Have the ability to see in a world of blind people OR be a great musician in a world of deaf people?

See.

Have a mouth full of ticks OR a butt full of worms?

Ticks.

Get caught shoplifting OR urinating in public?

Urinating

Drink a shot of yak spit OR a teaspoon of snail slime?

Eww. I'll take spit out of sheer disgustedness (not a word)

Be accused of stealing OR of sexual harassment on the job?

Stealing (sexual harassment is no joke)

Display only pictures of yourself in your house OR display only the pictures that came with the frames?

Only pics of myself

Be forced to throw up completely through your nose OR throw up normally into a cup and have to take a big gulp of it?

Through my nose. I don't want to taste...

In a fight be armed with only a table tennis paddle OR a wiffle ball bat?

Bat. It has holes

Be dishonorably discharged from the military OR kicked out of a prestigious college for cheating?

Dishonorably discharged

Dress for one year like a nun OR like a mime?

Mime and annoy the people who annoy me.

Drive everywhere on a street sweeper OR be able to drive only six months out of the year?

Street sweeper and then go on "Pimp My Ride"

Live until you're 90 and die after six months of unbearable pain t hat can't be helped with drugs OR live to 55 and die peacefully?
90, with pain

Have to hold a one inch roach in your mouth unharmed for five minutes OR have to lie motionless on a termite nest for ten minutes?

Give me the nest

Be known as a thief OR a liar?

Liar, thieves are worse.

As a man have a ten inch pencil thin penis OR a two inch long super thick penis?

2 inches.

Dive from 20 feet high into six feet of water OR from 40 feet into ten feet of water?

20 Ft into 6 ft. The other one you would just hit the bottom twice as hard

Eat nothing ever again but sweets OR dairy products?

Dairy products

Spend an evening with a person to whom you're very sexually attracted when you're extremely tired, dirty, and sweaty from a long day at work OR just go home and watch tv?

Give me the man. I'm sexy dirty. Lol.

Have to perform surgery on your spouse using only a textbook for instructions OR with no formal training defend your spouse in a trial for a murder he or she appears to be guilty of committing?

Surgery.

Be covered in itchy scabs OR have popcorn kernel shells stuck in between every tooth?

Kernels. I've had chicken pox.

Have your ears where your eyebrows are OR have your nose where your bellybutton is?

Ears where my eyebrows are.

Have the ability to see ten years into your own future OR one year into the future of the world?

10 yrs into my own future, forget the world!

For the rest of your life live in a house infected with ticks OR have hair lice?

Lice, I'd better stock up on Head and Shoulders.

 

[CantAffordMAC]

i didn't know this topic was so old. I'm going to respond to the most recent ones though

 

[CantAffordMAC]

If you had to fart at a party, go outside and get unexpected liquid discharge OR blast away in a bedroom only to realize several couples were using it as a makeout room and heard the whole thing?
blast away in a bedroom. if i couldn't see them, that means it was dark and they couldn't see me either. i'd just run out.

Knowing you will die tomorrow, spend your last day with your friends OR on a date with your favorite movie star?
friends. duh

Go to an interview with the stomach flu OR after staying out til 3 a.m.?
go to an interview with the flu. I would tell them i was sick and havent been feeling well, but if I had stayed out til 3AM i probably got no sleep---therefore theres no telling what would come out of my mouth

Be gored to death by a bull OR squeezed to death by an anaconda?
squeezed by the snake

Be a woman with men's legs (no shaving) OR a man with woman's arms?
man with womans arms.

Be known as a coward OR a traitor?
be a coward. i could overcome that fear someday

Experience the Titanic OR the Hindenburg?
Hindenburg (haha I googled that)

In an hour, eat 20 hard boiled eggs OR 30 hot dogs (no buns)?
eggs

Give $500 to charity OR bet the entire $500 on one hand of blackjack, knowing you'll donate the entire $1000 if you win?
give 500 to charity

Count all the grains of sand in a sand castle OR all the eye droppers full of water in an Olympic sized swimming pool?
daamn! eye droppers of water in a pool

Get caught by your spouse in bed with your adulterous lover OR get caught by the press embezzling money from the charity over which you preside?
get caught by my spouse. i guess!

Wear glasses that impair your vision OR a muzzle that impairs your speech?
i better choose the muzzle, because i can't see anything as it is

Have jock itch OR athlete's foot for the rest of your life?
athletes foot

Pick someone's nose OR swallow a teaspoon of his or her spit?
pick someones nose even though neither one is really nasty

Have quick setting concrete dry after being poured into your nose OR your ears?
oh my god....i guess my ears?

Drink eight ounces of month-old dirty aquarium water OR squeeze the dirty liquid from a disgusting used sponge into your mouth and drink it?
the used sponge

Be the ugliest person OR the dumbest person in the world?
wow. i guess the ugliest

Be a pathetic wanna be OR a wasted has been?
a wanna be

Eat four slices of moldy bread OR one rotten apple?
apple

While still living get a glimpse of Heaven OR Hell?
heaven

Date a person who constantly hums OR repeats everything you just said?
hums

Have beetles crawl all over your face OR over every part of your body BUT your face?
everywhere but my face

Wet the bed with your partner sleeping next to you for the first time OR wet your pants in a college class?
wet my pants with my partner. he'd understand

Be at the top of a Ferris Wheel for 24 hours OR on a roller coster for two hours straight?
top of a ferris wheel.

Be old and look young with a great deal of plastic surgery OR look old at a young age?
old and look young

Always eat out of dirty dishes OR always wear filthy clothes?
i guess...sigh. dirty dishes

Drink out of a toilet bowl OR eat mysterious morsels out of a garbage disposal?
oh my goodness..garbage disposal

Always almost have to sneeze OR hit your funny bone every fifteen minutes?
funny bone

As a woman wake up with blond male chest hair OR 50 extra pounds?
chest hair. i'd hop right in the shower and shave that shit off

With NO explanation, tell you wife at a fashion show what a fat pig she is OR boo your son at his school play?
wow. I guess i'd tell my spouse they were a fat pig. i couldn't live with myself if I did that to my son. of course I could always disguise it as "BOOOO! I love you boo!!" lol

 

[CantAffordMAC]

Be spotted by your boss at an adult bookstore OR a strip joint?
bookstore I guess. hey...they are just as "wrong" as I am if they came to the same place

Eat a cigar burnt at one end and chewed at the other OR chew and swallow six packs of bubble gum at one sitting?
bubble gum

Live in a house with no windows OR no doors?
no doors

Have gorilla arms OR ostrich legs?
ostrich legs

Upon seeing an injured animal on the side of the road, drive by and leave it knowing it's in pain and going to die OR run over it and put it out of its misery?
i couldn't just run it over. its not my place to play God. so I'd just drive by

Spend a summer driving through the Arizona desert with no air conditioning OR across country with a broken stereo?
broken stereo.

Have frequent spurts of uncontrollable drooling OR be a bed wetter?
i guess drool

Accept a $1000 violation from a cop OR suck on his toes for 10 seconds beside a busy freeway inorder to get the ticket torn up?
suck his toes...$1000 is a lot of money

Be a virgin until you're 40 OR have an active sex life without ever climaxing?
have an active sex life without climax

Change a flat tired at night in a thunder/lightning storm on the freeway OR run out of gas on a deserted country road?
change a flat tire. I've seen way too many movies to wanna be deserted in the country

Pee in your pants in front of everyone at a wedding OR laugh uncontrollably at your grandmother's funeral?
laugh uncontrollably. i would just say i was thinking of the funny times we shared. or i'd lie and say it was because i was nervous

Have the kind of personality that causes people to believe you're a conniving manipulator OR a pathological liar?
pathological liar

Drink a gallon of public hot tub water OR eat a used bar of soap from a public shower?
soap. i'd do my best to rub the used part off of it

Never use a phone OR electric lights again?
i guess lights.

Roll around naked in poison oak for an hour OR eat a dead lab mouse?
hmm. the mouse

Find a dead fly in your salad OR a really long thick hair in your ice cream?
i guess the fly

Be president of a firm that poaches endangered species OR work for a corrupt politician?
i guess the politician

Never be able to sleep lying down OR instantly fall asleep every time you sit down?
never sleep lying down

Have the ability to become invisible OR to fly?
be invisible

Be a compulsive liar OR marry one you can't divorce?
marry someone i can't divorce

Drink a quart of an elementary school janitor's mop water OR eat the sand from a mall ashtray?
mop water i hate sand


Have a small butt on your forehead OR two little feet dangling from beneath your chin?
HAHAHA oh lordy. that is so funny! I guess I'd pick the butt on my forehead (as long as it doesn't shit) cuz I could cover that with bangs. But it'd be kick ass to have little feet dangling from my chin.

As a woman get a small, visible tattoo on your forehead OR have EE cup breasts?
I'm damn near a EE as it is. I'd go Kat Von D and get a small tattoo. I hate these knockers

Vote for a politician who has his or her own best interest in mind, but who will also be very good at the job OR vote for one who is selfless but slightly less competent?
one who will do a better job

Plow a quarter acre plot of land by hand OR plow 20 acres with an ox to help you?
i guess the quarter acre by hand. good exercise

Eat a small can of cat food OR seven lemons in their entirety?
lemons

Conceal a ripe pimple on the tip of your nose with makeup and be discovered when someone's kiss accidentally pops it OR have your hairpiece lift off with a sudden rush of wind?
i guess the pimple. its not really that serious

Be attacked by 20 raccoons OR two large Rottweilers?
raccoons

Not eat OR not sleep for three days?
not sleep

Have an affliction that causes you to have bowel movements on your living room floor while sleepwalking OR that causes you to pee on a total stranger twice a year?
i think i'd get my ass kicked if I peed on a stranger. so the poop on my floor

Get caught by your spouse have an email cybersex relationship with someone else OR have an actual affair with your spouse's best friend and never get caught?
email relationship

Live in a country with the same freedoms as the USA but where terrorists bomb buildings every other day OR live in a police state with no privacy rights, but where everything is bomb free?
i guess my privacy would be nice

Thoroughly lick a large frog all over OR lick just once a small two inch area on the backside of a portajohn?
frog

Be attacked by 30 angry poodles OR one Doberman?
poodles

Be caught picking your nose in your car OR scratching your genitals in the supermarket?
picking nose

Lick your bathroom drain clean OR mop up the bathroom floor with your head?
mop the floor with my head

Have the ability to see in a world of blind people OR be a great musician in a world of deaf people?
ability to see

Have a mouth full of ticks OR a butt full of worms?
worms

Get caught shoplifting OR urinating in public?
shoplifting

Drink a shot of yak spit OR a teaspoon of snail slime?
spit i guess

Be accused of stealing OR of sexual harassment on the job?
sexual harrassment

Display only pictures of yourself in your house OR display only the pictures that came with the frames?
myself. lol

Be forced to throw up completely through your nose OR throw up normally into a cup and have to take a big gulp of it?
omg throw up through my nose

In a fight be armed with only a table tennis paddle OR a wiffle ball bat?
a bat.

Be dishonorably discharged from the military OR kicked out of a presigious college for cheating?
kicked out of college

Dress for one year like a nun OR like a mime?
a mime

Drive everywhere on a street sweeper OR be able to drive only six months out of the year?
six months out of the year. i guess?

Live until you're 90 and die after six months of unbearable pain t hat can't be helped with drugs OR live to 55 and die peacefully?
i guess 55

Have to hold a one inch roach in your mouth unharmed for five minutes OR have to lie motionless on a termite nest for ten minutes?
termite nest

Be known as a thief OR a liar?
thief

As a man have a ten inch pencil thin penis OR a two inch long super thick penis?
i guess the 2 inch

Dive from 20 feet high into six feet of water OR from 40 feet into ten feet of water?
20 feet into 6 feet.

Eat nothing ever again but sweets OR dairy products?
sweets

Spend an evening with a person to whom you're very sexually attracted when y ou're extremely tired, dirty, and sweaty from a long day at work OR just go home and watch tv?
lol what? go home and watch tv i guess

Have to perform surgery on your spouse using only a textbook for instructions OR with no formal training defend your spouse in a trial for a murder he or she appears to be guilty of committing?
perform surgery

Be covered in itchy scabs OR have popcorn kernel shells stuck in between every tooth?
popcorn shells

Have your ears where your eyebrows are OR have your nose where your bellybutton is?
nose where my bellybutton

Have the ability to see ten years into your own future OR one year into the future of the world?
10 yrs into my future i guess

For the rest of your life live in a house infected with ticks OR have hair lice?
head lice.

 

[ILoveMacMakeup]

*Be forced to French kiss someone with no teeth -OR- someone chewing tobacco? I would have to go with the no teeth, chewing tobacco grosses me out

*Never be able to answer a question -OR- never be able to ask one? Answer

*Eat a cupful of foam packing peanuts -OR- an entire ten year old fruitcake? 10 year old fruitcake

*Quickly lick the back of a urinal at a restaurant -OR- wash your face in the clean water from a toilet bowl at the same restaurant? Wash my face from the toilet bowl

*Sponge bathe a sumo wrestler -OR- hand wash 150 dirty sweaty jockstraps? Sponge bathe the sumo

*Wear orange -OR- a tuxedo all the time? Orange

*During your wedding reception, have your best friend make a pass at your spouse -OR- five years into your marriage, have one of your parents make a pass at your spouse while drunk at a party? At wedding reception

*Scald your tongue before sitting down to eat a meal you already paid one hundred dollars for -OR- get hit with a bad case of gas ribght before a highly anticipated sexual encounter? Scald my tounge

*Have a small but ripe pimple always on the end of your nose -OR- a small mole with a thick non cuttable hair growing out of it on your cheek? the small mole

*Give up your three favorite hobbies in life -OR- lose your sex drive? Lose sex drive

*Eat a raw catfish -OR- a raw pig's foot? Catfish

*Get two weeks paid vacation each year and go wherever you want -OR- get six weeks but not be allowed to travel anywhere? 2 weeks paid and go wherever

*Have to write a ten page term paper entirely in Morse code -OR- in pig Latin? Pig latin

*See the Bald Eagle -OR- the Grizzly Bear become extinct? Bald Eagle

*Have the ability of ten athletes -OR- the knowledge of ten scholars? Knowlege of ten scholars

*Never be able to say the word "love" -OR- never be able to kiss? never be able to kiss-I would hate to not be able to tell my family I love them.

*As a man have your testicles eaten off by a squirrel -OR- your eyeballs pecked out by a bird? Eyeballs pecked out by a bird

*Have skeletons in your closet -OR- an undeserved ill reputation? Skeletons in closet

*Trip and fall to the ground while walking up to give a speech -OR-forget your spouse's name while introducing him/her to your ex? Forget spouses name

*As a man, lose your girlfriend's pet -OR- her diamond ring? pet

*Have to chug a gallon of cold beet juice -OR- four sixteen ounce glasses of warm cod liver oil? gallon of beet juice

*Never need to sleep -OR- eat again? Eat

 

[ILoveMacMakeup]

Round two:

WOULD YOU RATHER:

If you had to fart at a party, go outside and get unexpected liquid discharge OR blast away in a bedroom only to realize several couples were using it as a makeout room and heard the whole thing? Unexpected liquid discharge

Knowing you will die tomorrow, spend your last day with your friends OR on a date with your favorite movie star? with friends

Go to an interview with the stomach flu OR after staying out til 3 a.m.? With stomach flu

Be gored to death by a bull OR squeezed to death by an anaconda? squeezed to death

Be a woman with men's legs (no shaving) OR a man with woman's arms? a man with woman's arms

Be known as a coward OR a traitor? coward

Experience the Titanic OR the Hindenburg? Titanic

In an hour, eat 20 hard boiled eggs OR 30 hot dogs (no buns)? 20 hard boiled eggs

Give $500 to charity OR bet the entire $500 on one hand of blackjack, knowing you'll donate the entire $1000 if you win? bet the money

Count all the grains of sand in a sand castle OR all the eye droppers full of water in an Olympic sized swimming pool? All the grains of sand

Get caught by your spouse in bed with your adulterous lover OR get caught by the press embezzling money from the charity over which you preside? Spouse

Wear glasses that impair your vision OR a muzzle that impairs your speech? Glasses that impairs vision

Have jock itch OR athlete's foot for the rest of your life? Athlete's foot

Pick someone's nose OR swallow a teaspoon of his or her spit? Pick their nose

Have quick setting concrete dry after being poured into your nose OR your ears? Ears

Drink eight ounces of month-old dirty aquarium water OR squeeze the dirty liquid from a disgusting used sponge into your mouth and drink it? Dirty aquarium

Be the ugliest person OR the dumbest person in the world? Dumbest

Be a pathetic wanna be OR a wasted has been? Wasted has been

Eat four slices of moldy bread OR one rotten apple? Four slices of moldy bread

While still living get a glimpse of Heaven OR Hell? Heaven

Date a person who constantly hums OR repeats everything you just said? Constantly hums

Have beetles crawl all over your face OR over every part of your body BUT your face? Every other part but face

Wet the bed with your partner sleeping next to you for the first time OR wet your pants in a college class? Wet the bed

Be at the top of a Ferris Wheel for 24 hours OR on a roller coster for two hours straight? A roller coaster

Be old and look young with a great deal of plastic surgery OR look old at a young age? Be old and look young

Always eat out of dirty dishes OR always wear filthy clothes? Always eat out of dirty dishes

Drink out of a toilet bowl OR eat mysterious morsels out of a garbage disposal? Drink out of toilet bowl

Always almost have to sneeze OR hit your funny bone every fifteen minutes? Almost have to sneeze

As a woman wake up with blond male chest hair OR 50 extra pounds? Blond male chest hair

With NO explanation, tell you wife at a fashion show what a fat pig she is OR boo your son at his school play? Tell your wife

 

[kimmy]

*Be forced to French kiss someone with no teeth -OR- someone chewing tobacco?
ehh...chew is pretty nasty but i'd go for that before no teefers.

*Never be able to answer a question -OR- never be able to ask one?
never be able to answer one, definately. i ask questions all the time and would probably never speak again if i couldn't ask questions.

*Eat a cupful of foam packing peanuts -OR- an entire ten year old fruitcake?
packing peanuts, fo sho.

*Quickly lick the back of a urinal at a restaurant -OR- wash your face in the clean water from a toilet bowl at the same restaurant?
um...probably wash my face because at least that water is semi-clean.

*Sponge bathe a sumo wrestler -OR- hand wash 150 dirty sweaty jockstraps?
i think i'd just put my hands in a meat grinder so i wouldn't have to do either one...

*Wear orange -OR- a tuxedo all the time?
a tuxedo all the time, that would rule.

*During your wedding reception, have your best friend make a pass at your spouse -OR- five years into your marriage, have one of your parents make a pass at your spouse while drunk at a party?
best friend make a pass simply because i know my best friend wouldn't be serious about it.

*Scald your tongue before sitting down to eat a meal you already paid one hundred dollars for -OR- get hit with a bad case of gas ribght before a highly anticipated sexual encounter?
scald the tongue. definately.

*Have a small but ripe pimple always on the end of your nose -OR- a small mole with a thick non cuttable hair growing out of it on your cheek?
hmm...that's a tough one for me because i'd be totally bummed if i had either, but i guess the one on the nose.

*Give up your three favorite hobbies in life -OR- lose your sex drive?
i don't really have any hobbies...so i'd lose the hobbies.

*Eat a raw catfish -OR- a raw pig's foot?
raw catfish. though the pig's foot would probably be cleaner...

*Get two weeks paid vacation each year and go wherever you want -OR- get six weeks but not be allowed to travel anywhere?
two weeks is what i get now and i'm down.

*Have to write a ten page term paper entirely in Morse code -OR- in pig Latin?
nia igpa atinla.

*See the Bald Eagle -OR- the Grizzly Bear become extinct?
neither.

*Have the ability of ten athletes -OR- the knowledge of ten scholars?
the ability of ten athletes. the career i want takes more brawn than brains so i'd dig the strength of ten athletes.

*Never be able to say the word "love" -OR- never be able to kiss?
never be able to say the word love.

*As a man have your testicles eaten off by a squirrel -OR- your eyeballs pecked out by a bird?
take the eyeballs!

*Have skeletons in your closet -OR- an undeserved ill reputation?
skeletons in the closet.

*Trip and fall to the ground while walking up to give a speech -OR- forget your spouse's name while introducing him/her to your ex?
trip and fall.

*As a man, lose your girlfriend's pet -OR- her diamond ring?
her diamond ring, because i know i'd sure as hell never forgive a dude for loosing one of my pets but a diamond ring, i'd get over.

*Have to chug a gallon of cold beet juice -OR- four sixteen ounce glasses of warm cod liver oil?
cold beet juice.

*Never need to sleep -OR- eat again?
hmm..those are two of my favourite past times.

probably never sleep.