WOC: The Hair Thread

[sagehen]

So sorry, sage. I was hesitant when I wrote it, but I was in a hurry. I'll remove it.

Oh, that was not only directed at you. It has been thrown around a couple times. I just wanted to say that before it went left. I don't get that vibe here; on the contrary I feel very welcomed, but I just want it to stay that way.
That's one of the things I like about this thread; that it's just HAIR, all in one place. I can get tips on straightening, twisting, products, all here. And there is a real sense of diversity where everyone feels they can contribute.

 

[leahrenae]

Oh, that was not only directed at you. It has been thrown around a couple times. I just wanted to say that before it went left. I don't get that vibe here; on the contrary I feel very welcomed, but I just want it to stay that way. That's one of the things I like about this thread; that it's just HAIR, all in one place. I can get tips on straightening, twisting, products, all here. And there is a real sense of diversity where everyone feels they can contribute.

When I typed that, I wasn't referring to anyone specific, not even in this thread. .instead, those women who tend to go a bit too far in challenging other people's hair processes, routines, and product choices. I feel like we all may have encountered, seen, or heard a super serious natural who feels the need to dictate what is right or wrong in hair care. No two people will be the same. Honestly, what I'm looking for in this thread are reviews on products I may be interested in, or finding out about new products, and learning about different routines. No malice intended, but I think it's important to note that it isn't necessarily beneficial to criticize any other's hair routine. We can all learn new things.

 

[sagehen]

No malice intended, but I think it's important to note that it isn't necessarily beneficial to criticize any other's hair routine. We can all learn new things.

I did not assume you were referring to anyone specific. We have all met people like the naturals you describe and as a natural I meet people who think the opposite and tell me all the time, but there is no one like that participating in this thread and that label is just so inflammatory (and not just about natural hair). I didn't assume any malice on your part; I just wanted to point it out. If people think that is the vibe here they will not participate.

Sorry to have derailed the thread y'all; let's go back to HAIR.

 

[leahrenae]

Actually....I think this may be the perfect topic for "the hair thread." Question being: why does it seem like we, as women of color, tend to find something, anything to separate ourselves? #teamnatural #teamrelaxed I do think for the most part people's intentions aren't to separate, but there are some who definitely appear to show some type of superiority complex, whatever their side. A close friend of mine told me of her experience of being totally ostracized from women in her office because they're all natural and she's relaxed. That's ridiculous! From reading some of the posts I think MissTT and perhaps even Shontay have experienced similar incidents. We have a very unique type of hair, whatever "type" it may be. However we decide to wear it is our choice and we shouldn't ever feel like we're not "embracing our roots" "selling out" be labeled as lesbian (if I wear a fro this tends to be the general misconception), or feminist. We're all just people, we are who we are. I don't believe hair MAKES anyone who they are. It's just an extension of us. So I'm just curious of you guys' thoughts. Aaaaaand some of your favorite protective styles because summer is coming up and I don't feel like dealing with my hair regularly

 

[leahrenae]

Sorry about your hair. I know that can be devastating. I have eczema and when it first developed, it was on my neck and my scalp. It was so, so bad. I didn't know it was eczema, though. The doctor thought it was caused by the relaxer even though I had been getting them for years at that point (I was a sophomore in high school). I scratched my head like crazy and my edges thinned out a bit b/c I couldn't help scratching and pulling at the scabs (gross, I know). Then, I went to a dermatologist who knew it was eczema, treated it and I was back in business. Still a bit sensitive about my edges though and there's no cure for eczema, but at least it's not on my scalp anymore.

I'm wondering if I have the same issue. I noticed my scalp getting more and more dry once I stopped getting relaxers tho. I try so many different things but nothing seems to work longer than a few days. I went to a dermatologist a few years ago and they gave me some type of foam and a shampoo. That shampoo stripped my hair so badly, I didn't want to use it any more. Do you remember what your derm gave you to help?

 

[presstoblend]

Thanks for all the recommendations, presstoblend. I need to add a good co-wash to my stash. I currently have the one from Carol's Daughter b/c it made my daughter's hair too greasy. I need to find a suitable co-wash for her, too. She has fine, wavy hair with more of a Caucasian texture.

I was able to pick up the Ojon conditioner from the CCO some months back. Great score!

You're most welcome MissTT! I'm not a fan of many of Carol's Daughters products for that exact reason...too greasy and it made my hair limp. I love the Trader Joe's Nourish Spa Conditioner as a co-wash because it makes me feel like I'm lathering my hair up when I'm really not and the slip is awesome, it really detangles and moisturizes! Let me know how things work out for you

 

[Richelle83]

You're most welcome MissTT! I'm not a fan of many of Carol's Daughters products for that exact reason...too greasy and it made my hair limp. I love the Trader Joe's Nourish Spa Conditioner as a co-wash because it makes me feel like I'm lathering my hair up when I'm really not and the slip is awesome, it really detangles and moisturizes! Let me know how things work out for you

I so wish we had a trader joes here, everyone is always talking about how much they love that conditioner not to mention how cheap it is!

 

[leahrenae]

I so wish we had a trader joes here, everyone is always talking about how much they love that conditioner not to mention how cheap it is!

http://www.amazon.com/Trader-Joes-Nourish-Moisturizing-Conditioner/dp/B002LV317A

you may be able to find more products on amazon....

 

[Richelle83]

Aaaaaand some of your favorite protective styles because summer is coming up and I don't feel like dealing with my hair regularly

This is why I had to leave most hair boards and twitter...at least the natural hair hashtag! So much negativity over a personal choice. I get that for some its the best way to maintain their her(getting a relaxer) and for some like myself are better off as natural. I wish people would stop being so judgemental.

Wearing my hair is twists has worked for me.

 

[Richelle83]

http://www.amazon.com/Trader-Joes-Nourish-Moisturizing-Conditioner/dp/B002LV317A

you may be able to find more products on amazon....

Thanks, didn't want to pay that price for it. A friend is going to send it to me!

 

[presstoblend]

So sorry, sage. I was hesitant when I wrote it, but I was in a hurry/distracted. I'll remove it. Black women's hair is such a heated topic and I wish it wasn't so. It's truly the strangest of cultural fights and I wish it would stop. I noticed all the hair talk here was about natural hair, but I was hoping to be accepted unlike some other places I've visited.

Honey I know that my hair has been the bane of my existence at times!!! I accept you girl 'cause you're my Sistuh

And some of us may get high and mighty at times (of course this doesn't include any of the beautiful ladies here) but believe you me there are times that I've SERIOUSLY contemplated reverting back to my Halle Berry hair do but then one of my infamous "Personal Summers" happens and I say "naaaaawww" I'll pass!!!! Lol!

 

[VampyCouture]

I agree that the hair topic can get people heated, which I'm not sure why because it's their hair. Unless someone else's hair preferences affects you personally (which I've never seen), then people have no say to dictate. I just want to say that I strongly despise the #teamrelaxed and #teamnatural hashtags. Never used them, never will. It just creates further divide that doesn't need to be there in the first place.

On topic, I am going to make a trip to Trader Joe's and try that conditioner. Long overdue anyways. While I'm at it, might as well pick up their famous coconut oil!

 

[CartoonChic]

I started this thread to discuss hair. It's not specifically focused on natural, relaxed, or anything in between. Everyone is welcomed to participate and share. Even if you wear your hair bald!

 

[sagehen]

I agree that the hair topic can get people heated, which I'm not sure why because it's their hair. Unless someone else's hair preferences affects you personally (which I've never seen), then people have no say to dictate. I just want to say that I strongly despise the #teamrelaxed and #teamnatural hashtags. Never used them, never will. It just creates further divide that doesn't need to be there in the first place.

This. Exactly. I also don't understand why people put so much stock in what other people think of their hair. If you are not employing me, paying my bills or sleeping next to me at night, who cares. If a person truly accepts and likes themself, other people's opinions don't hold that much sway. People who would make certain degrading comments, etc, don't have to see me, and it's their loss.

 

[presstoblend]

I so wish we had a trader joes here, everyone is always talking about how much they love that conditioner not to mention how cheap it is!

Let me get my hands on a bottle in a few weeks and I'll send it to you...my gift

 

[CartoonChic]

I've switched to the As I Am products and I'm very pleased with them after using them for a few months. I made an effort to get them from Sally's when they had the $2 off sale. I was a bit shocked at the prices when I first saw them. I was expecting them to be cheaper because they were at Sally's. I only bought the Curl Clarity Shampoo, Coconut CoWash Cleansing Conditioner, and the Hydration Elation Intensive Conditioner. I haven't used the Curl Clarity Shampoo yet. I use the Coconut CoWash as my shampoo, then the Hydration Elation to condition.

My hair feels really moisturized after using those two products. I haven't done much else with my hair like I wanted. Things have been so busy for me the past few months that a ponytail is still all I can manage. My son graduates high school Tuesday, so I think I'll make an effort to do something besides a ponytail.

 

[CartoonChic]

Hey CartoonChic! Love this thread!!! Well let's see...I've been natural since October 2011 and I'll have to say it's one of the best decisions that I've made. Why in the world did I take so long to make it??!!!

I didn't transition I just chopped it all off. I don't know my exact hair type but I guess I fall somewhere in the 4's. I've tried a lot of products but the things that work best for me I've listed below. I don't use them all at the same time but based on what "Sis" (that's what I call my hair) feels like she needs.

COWASH

• Trader Joe's Nourish Spa Conditioner
• Aussie's MOIST Conditioner
• Herbal Essence's Totally Twisted Conditioner
• Suave Natural Shea Butter and Almond Conditioner

SHAMPOO (I do Once a Month)

• Lumiere d'hiver Clarifying Shampoo...
  
  Luv this stuff!

LEAVE IN

• Garnier Fructis Leave In

DEEP CONDITION

• Mayo and Olive Oil
• Ojon Damage Reverse Restorative Treatment
• Queen Helene's Cholesterol (I know...old faithful)

MOISTURIZE AND STYLE:

• Aveda's Be Curly Curl Enhancer
• Aveda's Brilliant Humectant Pomade
• Shea Moisture Curl Enhancing Smoothie
• Macadamia Healing Oil
• Hot 6 Oil & Olive Oil
• Murray's Loc-Lock Gel (for twists)

Did you get that steamer? How do you like it if you did? I'm still thinking about picking one up.

 

[presstoblend]

My hair feels really moisturized after using those two products. I haven't done much else with my hair like I wanted. Things have been so busy for me the past few months that a ponytail is still all I can manage. My son graduates high school Tuesday, so I think I'll make an effort to do something besides a ponytail.

Ok...two things here: First and foremost Shut the front door! Girl you don't look like you have a person graduating from high school! Back on topic...I know what you mean about stepping up the effort. I went to Rite Aid to buy one of those jeweled Scunci hair band thingys to try something new but decided against it. I'm really considering chopping it all off and keeping it low for awhile.

 

[VampyCouture]

This. Exactly. I also don't understand why people put so much stock in what other people think of their hair. If you are not employing me, paying my bills or sleeping next to me at night, who cares. If a person truly accepts and likes themself, other people's opinions don't hold that much sway. People who would make certain degrading comments, etc, don't have to see me, and it's their loss.

Right. I don't have the time to worry about what other people think when I have life and other stuff going on! lol

 

[shontay07108]

I'm wondering if I have the same issue. I noticed my scalp getting more and more dry once I stopped getting relaxers tho. I try so many different things but nothing seems to work longer than a few days. I went to a dermatologist a few years ago and they gave me some type of foam and a shampoo. That shampoo stripped my hair so badly, I didn't want to use it any more. Do you remember what your derm gave you to help?

I was given drops to apply to my scalp called Diprolene. It has to be prescribed by a doctor, but a regular doctor can do it. You don't need a dermatologist. I have a minor recurrence of it during the transitions in weather and through the winter. I guess somehow the humidity in the Summer keeps it at bay. The drops are a miracle, though. Instant relief and it doesn't change the texture of your hair and doesn't have a scent. Man, I believe in live and let live. I'm not out here telling people what to do with anything regarding their bodies, hair, etc. It's personal. We all have our ideas of what's right and wrong and what's aesthetically pleasing to us, but we need to learn that just because we have an opinion that we don't need to shove it down each others throats. Especially not in a way that's pushy and judgmental and that goes both ways when it involves natural vs relaxed hair. I'm a strong woman and I like what I like and no one's going to make me doubt myself. I've had people try to "educate" me on this and that and tell me that I'm not as black as they are (what?) and accuse me of being brainwashed by European standards of beauty (huh?). Your hair choices don't make you who you are and fortunately, no one I know in real life has said those things to me because heaven help them if I can get my hands on them. Just do what you do and let me do what I do and it's cool. Anyway, back to the issue at hand. Anyone know of a good edge control product? Also, any of you ladies deal with wigs or half wigs? I'm all about half wigs and I'm surprised more women (at least the ones I know) don't have much experience with them. They're so easy to deal with and don't put any stress on your hair.