update on Bert situation:
We sat and had some wine and a light dinner and discussed "our" situation. He wants to get married. I do not. He wants me to stay home, and I will do as I have to until Dec. when I finally turn all over and informally "retire". What we did agree on is that I will give him a response in Dec. 2014 (and he made it clear it's this year.. lol -- he says I know how to play with numbers and YE stats.. lol). And, yes I can but won't.
We made up and no chairs were broken. He is truly an amazing guy and I don't see my life without him at this point, but he realized that no matter what, he will not be able to put me in a box and smother me. I know too that his work is his life -- and he will never quit it. Most that can happen is he retires when he can no longer do surgeries and then be in some capacity to teach university/med students. He says that will fulfill him and make him happy -- as long as I am with him.
I will miss him when I am gone and will skype with him -- but not much. I have my own life in Italy and need to wrap up so many loose ends I don't know how I will be set for time. Too, I have many friends who I must see and say good bye to.. for now.
so.. all in all -- it was a tempest in a teacup and we had a lovely chat and a great evening.. going to get pizza later and play poker.. and yes, I beat him at that and he feels insecure.
his buddies are a bunch of thieves.. lol