I will admit that have committed anti-low buy acts however several members have been really thoughtful and generous to me. I have received several unexpected offers and gifts without any obligation for repayment. Sometimes I really get a bit "lost" when I can't keep up with the thread. I honestly am unaware of the flow, the conversations, accomplishments, achievements, crisis, hurt and pain etc. I do admit that not processing what's happening, confusion, frustration and lack of direction causes me to wander away a bit. I am not buying tons. I haven't bought from any Mac collections this year except for Sultana lip pencil. Low buy sales are mostly derived from blog sales and those are well-thought out, budgeted and executed. I am more focused on having quality pieces versus tons of sub-par items that I am dissatified with. I cleared out a lot since Dec 2013 to now. I have bought items from other brands while planning what I am skipping like the recent Proenza blushes. I try to keep my word to myself as if I cannot be honest with myself I cannot be trusted to be honest with others as well. I have gifted, swapped, gifted, swapped to my heart's content and even discontent to be able to bring others joy and happiness. I will not make excuses for a lot of my splurges however I will acknowledge that I was a very self-deprived person for the last 4 years. I was in a marriage during which I held down the home, paid all the bills and expenses. I have worked 12 hours dayshifts, 12 hours nightshifts, every available overtime shifts, moon-lighting at other facilities etc. This week I went through a few more items and a friend of ours was going to Jamaica yesterday so I was able to send my sister in Jamaica a few beauty and skincare items. I allowed myself to pick up Marc Jacobs Daisy "Delight" Perfume and the newer subtle Prada Candy in the peach packaging. I had skipped the Prada perfume in December because I wanted to finish a few other bottles first and was also waiting ideally for it to be available as a set for the value. I sent my sister 4 perfumes and had finished 2 to allow myself to get those. I sent her some lipglosses that are more low key and ideal for the islands were they are mostly Christians and very tone downed. Impossible Sweet, Soul Serenade, Comfort and Joy, Flash of Flash, Pleasure Principle and a few others were sent to her. They are nice layered over lipsticks but on me they are just shine without much color (vaseline with sparkles, lol). I allowed myself to gift a few items generally to justify a replacement. I will say sending 5 plus glosses for my sister allowed me to get Gloss Inerdit Givenchy Velvet Purple #15. It is one of the best purple lipglosses that I have come across in a long while. I do not wear lipsticks really, mostly gloss except for the TR dazzles. Saturday I did buy a purple beauty blender sponge as it was a nice new addition to all the pinks and the BB sponge that I was using was getting a bit old. My mom washed and cleaned the one i was going to discard and is enjoying using it. I honestly don't have a answer for everything I have done and gone overboard and bought. I know several of us were low buying really long before there was ever a low buy thread so it may come naturally to some members. For me personally, it is still a struggle. I do know that I felt liberated as it wasn't cool working, always exhausted, trying to make ends meet as much as I did and being told that everything I wanted I didn't NEED while others enjoyed the fruits of my labor to the max. I am still unsure what to so with this new found freedom but until I figure out what to do and how to start all over again I want to do a few things guilt-free. If selling, gifting, swapping etc don't trim my stash and taper it as much as I want to I have come up with a new plan. I have gained a lot of weight, gone from being extremely stressed , thin and anorexic looking a few months ago to now gained a lot of weight. I know i am extremely depressed, unmotivated with low energy, long periods of inactivity (hence all this Specktra time). I do plan to reward myself with an item or two for every say 5 pounds or so that I lose. I have just cancelled my gym membership (who knew you have to send a certified letter and wait another month) as I was being billed monthly and not going to the gym. I can now use those wasted monthly gym funds for makeup etc. I started walking at the park yesterday. I have lemon juice squeezed in my water bottle today. I am cutting out sodas, candy since i ate a big Easter Bunny, lol (chocolate), eating less portions and making healthier choices. I am trying being more responsible for my actions, being active versus passive and apathetic. I won't use a failed marriage as a clutch to continue going downwards. I do enjoy being on here with you lovely folks as it is my distraction from a sad reality. I have had sellers gently and tactfully reprimand me while reminding me where I belong-in low buy so that has been helpful as well. Thanks for reading this long narrative and stay strong, classy and beautiful!!!!
