a website for cheaters......

[Lauren1981]

i don't know if anyone's posted anything about this but i'm gonna go ahead and start one.
has anyone heard of ashleymadison.com???
it's a website for married people to go to and cheat.......

*and my personal opinion, i don't like this site or anything it stands for but that's just me*

i know this is a touchy subject but i'm just baffled that there's a site that promotes it.

i mean, i'm not married or even in a relationship but this seriously SERIOUSLY takes the value of marriage away. i want to be married but i find that the longer i go without being married i find out more things about myself and what i want in a man/marriage so that adds to the value (well, my views and values) of marriage. in my opinion, i feel that if there are problems then they should be addressed. i know that's easier said then done and i'm not saying that if you just bring it up then the problem will be instantly solved but to me this site just promotes people to overlook any problems and find satisfaction elsewhere in order to just stay married. so basically, if you're unhappy in your marriage go to the site and find other people who are unhappy as well or other people that like being the other woman/man and start an affair......
if i had a site i'd want to promote troubled marriages to seek help. whether there's a solution or divorce is the solution.
what do you guys think?
and this is a free country where ppl can do and say what they want but i think i'm just......... baffled.

*and again, i'm stating my opinion. i'm not passing judgement on anyone that has found themselves in this situation (whether or not to cheat or if you have cheated) i've never been married so i'm not speaking from personal experience. i'm just shocked to see a site that promotes it as opposed to trying to find a solution to the problems*

 

[Beauty Mark]

I think dishonesty in general is bad. If you're an open relationship/marriage, that's fine. If you're of that mentality, be honest and don't cheat.

Promoting cheating is rather reprehensible, no matter what kind of cheating it is. It's especially disgusting if you promote relationship infidelity.

 

[MissResha]

wow. well, i bet whoever started the site saw dollar signs. and look at all the mf's on there right now!!

it'd be hilarious if 2 people decided to meet up and they found out they were meeting their own spouse.

but in all seriousness, thats a damn shame

 

[jdechant]

Wow..that makes me sick a little..but hey, I guess we have to accept that this is the way some people choose to live their lives..but its Sad...

 

[xxAngelxx]

I think that is absolutely horrible. I feel so bad for all the innocent spouses of the members on that site. If you want to cheat, you either need to be in an open relationship or be single. It just isn't fair to your spouse. What a way to promote selfish behavior. Hopefully these cheaters are at least being safe...

 

[*Stargazer*]

I think it is not always correct to assume that someone is cheating because there is a problem, so finding solutions to marriage problems isn't entirely relevant.

Outside of that, people who cheat on their SOs are jerks. The internet is full of jerks, so it's not really surprising that someone is catering to it. And to be honest, I'm willing to bet half of those participants are lying about being married just for the kicks.

 

[MzzRach]

"Life is Short. Have an Affair."

Seriously, that's this company's tagline. And I thought I had seen it all.

Really, really sad.

 

[M.A.C. head.]

It's sad, but to be completely honest, as long as my man isn't on there, I don't give a damn.

 

[chocolategoddes]

The internet is making things too easy.
I remember back in the day, you had to actually leave your house, go to a bar or a social gathering, try and convince the other person to have an affair with you, call the person on a pay-phone so your S.O. couldn't track it down...

Now, all you need to do is set up a profile and you're on your way to committing adultery?
That just takes all the fun out of it!!!

 

[AdlersMommy22]

i dont agree with cheating, or open relationships, but i dont judge anyone who's in an open relationship.. (as far asmarriage.. not dating.) If you're married, as two consenting adults you two want to have relations with other people, then... its not my problem. I dont think its right but- whatever, yo. Im not going to get into it and im not going to give my opinion outright to someone whos doing it because that's their buisness. I just believe in the sancity of marriage

that being said

for a husband or wife to go out and cheat on their spouce, thats wrong. If the other one is not knowingly allowing it to happen, then thats takeing the utter trust and love of the person who trusts you the MOST, and shattering it.

I would be heartbroken.. cheating effs people up. I had a boyfriend cheat on me and I find myself subconsciously pushing myself away from men because now im scared to death im going to be hurt again... it blows, and it messes you up.. and its WRONG.

this website is wrong.

 

[Rebecca1432]

When I first heard the radio commercial I thought it was a joke. But it's not. Really sad, but in some ways, not terribly surprising.

 

[X4biddenxLustX]

I've heard about this site or maybe another one just like it on a few talk shows. I think they have this special button that minimizes and completely hides the site whenever your spouse walks in into the computer room. Just wow. Seriously how f*cked up is this?!

It's a shame that the person who is the owner of this site or any other site like this doesn't have a conscience and doesn't give a damn how many relationships and families he/she will be partly responsible for completely ruining. I guess money does make people do extreme things.

 

[ashk36]

I feel like a total hypocrite for responding. No, I'm not married, but I am in a committed relationship, and I did cheat on him in the past. I still feel like a piece of shit for it. But for some reason, he forgave me, and we've moved past it. I do want to marry him, and I don't want anyone else again, ever. I wish I could go back and change what I did more than anything, the way I hurt him, the way I felt after I did it. I wish that I'd never done it. But I feel like once that ring is on my finger, we're starting a brand new life together, and no other than my husband is touching me ever again. I hope that's not completely stupid to think that way...I know I can't erase the past but I want to start brand new. Like a new start date, our wedding day, wipe the slate clean of my big fat fuck up. I hate myself for what I did, but all that being said, I wasn't married. I honestly feel that once you've said those vows and sworn til death do us part, that should be that, and screwing around is not an option. People divorce so easily, and I don't want to sound like I look down on anyone for divorce because there are plenty of good reasons for 2 people to end their marriage if they really feel like it's the right thing for both of them, but just going off and doing your own thing with a random stranger while your husband or wife is completely clueless is just wrong.

I do sound like a hypocrite. I wish I could type everything I want to say and have it not sound like I'm completely contradicting myself. Damn.

 

[3jane]

1) ew
2) aren't most affairs with a friend or coworker though? scary to think this site might just be a drop in the bucket...

 

[X4biddenxLustX]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ashk36 I feel like a total hypocrite for responding. No, I'm not married, but I am in a committed relationship, and I did cheat on him in the past. I still feel like a piece of shit for it. But for some reason, he forgave me, and we've moved past it. I do want to marry him, and I don't want anyone else again, ever. I wish I could go back and change what I did more than anything, the way I hurt him, the way I felt after I did it. I wish that I'd never done it. But I feel like once that ring is on my finger, we're starting a brand new life together, and no other than my husband is touching me ever again. I hope that's not completely stupid to think that way...I know I can't erase the past but I want to start brand new. Like a new start date, our wedding day, wipe the slate clean of my big fat fuck up. I hate myself for what I did, but all that being said, I wasn't married. I honestly feel that once you've said those vows and sworn til death do us part, that should be that, and screwing around is not an option. People divorce so easily, and I don't want to sound like I look down on anyone for divorce because there are plenty of good reasons for 2 people to end their marriage if they really feel like it's the right thing for both of them, but just going off and doing your own thing with a random stranger while your husband or wife is completely clueless is just wrong. I do sound like a hypocrite. I wish I could type everything I want to say and have it not sound like I'm completely contradicting myself. Damn.

I don't think your a hypocrite. Are you cheating on him now? NO. Do you have any intentions on cheating on him now or in the future? NO. Do you take responsibility for your actions? YES. That's what I get from your post. And as humans, yes we do make mistakes. Sometimes little ones and other times really big ones that can hurt those that love us. There are people who keep making the same mistakes without learning and or wanting to change. But I can tell that you learned from this mistake and vow to never do it again. So let this guilt go, he's forgiven you, its time you've forgiven yourself.

 

[lelaelena]

Ugh, well here's a place to talk about a recent transgression.

Background story. I have had 5 boyfriends. 2 of them I was madly in love with. Each and every one of them cheated on me. My second one was in a particularly humiliating and confidence stripping manner, and to this day I'm still trying to get past it, move on and regain what little confidence I can.

Those who have known me my whole life, my family namely, constantly remark how I've changed over the years. As a kid I was the most confident, outgoing, happy go lucky, optimistic and energetic child on the planet. My first boyfriend cheated on me and it was downhill from there.

At this point, I could not possibly be any lower. And I am the type that defines herself by her relationships and current marital status.

So I think my very lowest and most humiliating, heart wrenching and shameful point happened a few weeks ago.

I went out with my bestie and her boyfriend's friends on New Years. I had an instant physical chemistry with her boyfriend's roommate and completely had my eye on him until my friend mentioned he had a girlfriend. Now I have chastised countless people on how horribly immoral and wrong and cruel cheating is. So I put my thoughts out of my mind. But we get back from the bar. Everyone couples up, my friend and her boyfriend, his brother and his girl. Roommate guy's girlfriend wasn't there cause she was home with her kid. So to avoid watching other couples make out and grind on each other, I go sit my single, haven't done it in 7 months ass alone, in the roommates bedroom on his bed, with him.

It was hours of uncomfortable innuendos, silences, and playful flicks on the thigh. I kept putting off calling a cab because the heat in the room was making me delirious. I'd almost lean over to him, get a hold of myself and pretend to go to the bathroom. I wasn't even drinking cause I was on antibiotics so I was in my full right state of mind. He turned the lights out cause they were bothering both of our tired eyes and said I could sleep on the other side of the bed if I wanted to. So I'm lying there, eyes open, in the dark, with a ridiculously good looking male who clearly wants the same thing. He pretended to sleep, but was actually paying attention to what I was doing. Eventually he asks what's wrong with me, why am I not asleep, and I pretty much said it. This is horrible and inappropriate, and I should go home. That's when he leaned in to kiss me and it was downhill from there. He would jump on top of me, start kissing my neck and I would slightly push him off, saying this was wrong and he needed to stop, he would ignore me and then I would kiss him back. This went on probably for an hour, before I finally gave in, realized I wouldn't get out of that bed that night at all unless I did what we both wanted and we went at it.

I guess guilt is a turn on for me because I finished in record time. He then fell asleep while I sat on the corner of the bed wiping away tears and feeling like the lowest human being on the planet.

I have literally done to his poor undeserving girlfriend, what so many have done to me.

GOD did I need to get that off my chest. Maybe I'll actually sleep tonight.

 

[kaliraksha]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ashk36 I feel like a total hypocrite for responding. No, I'm not married, but I am in a committed relationship, and I did cheat on him in the past. I still feel like a piece of shit for it. But for some reason, he forgave me, and we've moved past it. I do want to marry him, and I don't want anyone else again, ever. I wish I could go back and change what I did more than anything, the way I hurt him, the way I felt after I did it. I wish that I'd never done it. But I feel like once that ring is on my finger, we're starting a brand new life together, and no other than my husband is touching me ever again. I hope that's not completely stupid to think that way...I know I can't erase the past but I want to start brand new. Like a new start date, our wedding day, wipe the slate clean of my big fat fuck up. I hate myself for what I did, but all that being said, I wasn't married. I honestly feel that once you've said those vows and sworn til death do us part, that should be that, and screwing around is not an option. People divorce so easily, and I don't want to sound like I look down on anyone for divorce because there are plenty of good reasons for 2 people to end their marriage if they really feel like it's the right thing for both of them, but just going off and doing your own thing with a random stranger while your husband or wife is completely clueless is just wrong. I do sound like a hypocrite. I wish I could type everything I want to say and have it not sound like I'm completely contradicting myself. Damn.

See, you are totally different than what this site promotes in my opinion. You shouldn't feel like a hypocrite. People do make mistakes, just seeing you write about it with the passion that you do makes me believe you 100%.

Now, my opinion on the site...this site is promoting *looking* for an affair and I think if you are *looking* then you must know something is wrong with your relationship. I also believe that if you've made up your mind to have the affair before a situation has been presented to you... well that's the difference between manslaughter and premeditated murder.

As a side note- I don't care what people in open relationships do... I just hate it when dishonesty is enabled.

 

[sweetbabyblue]

Quote:

Originally Posted by lelaelena Ugh, well here's a place to talk about a recent transgression. Background story. I have had 5 boyfriends. 2 of them I was madly in love with. Each and every one of them cheated on me. My second one was in a particularly humiliating and confidence stripping manner, and to this day I'm still trying to get past it, move on and regain what little confidence I can. Those who have known me my whole life, my family namely, constantly remark how I've changed over the years. As a kid I was the most confident, outgoing, happy go lucky, optimistic and energetic child on the planet. My first boyfriend cheated on me and it was downhill from there. At this point, I could not possibly be any lower. And I am the type that defines herself by her relationships and current marital status. So I think my very lowest and most humiliating, heart wrenching and shameful point happened a few weeks ago. I went out with my bestie and her boyfriend's friends on New Years. I had an instant physical chemistry with her boyfriend's roommate and completely had my eye on him until my friend mentioned he had a girlfriend. Now I have chastised countless people on how horribly immoral and wrong and cruel cheating is. So I put my thoughts out of my mind. But we get back from the bar. Everyone couples up, my friend and her boyfriend, his brother and his girl. Roommate guy's girlfriend wasn't there cause she was home with her kid. So to avoid watching other couples make out and grind on each other, I go sit my single, haven't done it in 7 months ass alone, in the roommates bedroom on his bed, with him. It was hours of uncomfortable innuendos, silences, and playful flicks on the thigh. I kept putting off calling a cab because the heat in the room was making me delirious. I'd almost lean over to him, get a hold of myself and pretend to go to the bathroom. I wasn't even drinking cause I was on antibiotics so I was in my full right state of mind. He turned the lights out cause they were bothering both of our tired eyes and said I could sleep on the other side of the bed if I wanted to. So I'm lying there, eyes open, in the dark, with a ridiculously good looking male who clearly wants the same thing. He pretended to sleep, but was actually paying attention to what I was doing. Eventually he asks what's wrong with me, why am I not asleep, and I pretty much said it. This is horrible and inappropriate, and I should go home. That's when he leaned in to kiss me and it was downhill from there. He would jump on top of me, start kissing my neck and I would slightly push him off, saying this was wrong and he needed to stop, he would ignore me and then I would kiss him back. This went on probably for an hour, before I finally gave in, realized I wouldn't get out of that bed that night at all unless I did what we both wanted and we went at it. I guess guilt is a turn on for me because I finished in record time. He then fell asleep while I sat on the corner of the bed wiping away tears and feeling like the lowest human being on the planet. I have literally done to his poor undeserving girlfriend, what so many have done to me. GOD did I need to get that off my chest. Maybe I'll actually sleep tonight.

I'm sorry, I don't have anything to say, but *hugs*

 

[Prinsesa]

I've been hating this site since I saw the stupid fucking commercial.

My parents were seperated when my dad found out that he could easily cheat on the internet aka chat with random girls and meet up with them without having to go to bars etc.

PLUS some girls are golddigerrs. If a man was ugly etc and saw a girl at a bar, he won't approach her just because he thinks he would be rejected. But if that same girl (who's a golddigger) chats with the same man, she would know more about him and wouldn't give a fuck how he looks like as long as he has money.

UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I FUCKING HATE ASHELYMADISON

 

[Beauty Mark]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ashk36 I feel like a total hypocrite for responding. No, I'm not married, but I am in a committed relationship, and I did cheat on him in the past. I still feel like a piece of shit for it. But for some reason, he forgave me, and we've moved past it. I do want to marry him, and I don't want anyone else again, ever. I wish I could go back and change what I did more than anything, the way I hurt him, the way I felt after I did it. I wish that I'd never done it. But I feel like once that ring is on my finger, we're starting a brand new life together, and no other than my husband is touching me ever again. I hope that's not completely stupid to think that way...I know I can't erase the past but I want to start brand new. Like a new start date, our wedding day, wipe the slate clean of my big fat fuck up. I hate myself for what I did, but all that being said, I wasn't married. I honestly feel that once you've said those vows and sworn til death do us part, that should be that, and screwing around is not an option. People divorce so easily, and I don't want to sound like I look down on anyone for divorce because there are plenty of good reasons for 2 people to end their marriage if they really feel like it's the right thing for both of them, but just going off and doing your own thing with a random stranger while your husband or wife is completely clueless is just wrong. I do sound like a hypocrite. I wish I could type everything I want to say and have it not sound like I'm completely contradicting myself. Damn.

Unless you're cheating on him now, you're not a hypocrite. I think you just feel guilty about what happened.