Age minimum to be IN love?

[holliexoxo88]

I don't think so. I am 20 years old, and so is my boyfriend. Today is our five year anniversary. We are very much in love. My mom and dad have been together since they were 13 and are still together. People who say there is an age minimum to be in love are ignorant. You have no idea how that person is feeling, and you have no right to tell them how they are feeling. Love knows no age.

 

[xxManBeaterxx]

Well my husband was reading this thread and decided to write while i was gone from the computer: here is what he had to say

as long as you have the ability to look at both yourself, your boyfriend, your relationship, and all the negatives and positives at each of those three, you have sight--a very important tool. i have to point that out because it is both hard to see things from another perspective, and easy to be fooled by the person you trust most (in this case, the 2 ppl you trust can be fooling you at the same time: yourself, and your lover)

if one can see a situation to its full extent, then they have half of what they need to maintain, fix, and direct that situation. the other half is self control and the courage to carry through what must be done. (in the situation of a relationship, its not acceptable for only 1 person to see the whole picture; both must have sight, self control, and courage to carry through)

you can never be too careful or too hard on yourself or your lover, as long as you make sure to take into account people are just that--people, and none can be perfect. why? because you are in it for life, you are crafting your happiness every so carefully. a sculptor knows when his stone cannot be used to craft; the process is careful and delicate, and in the end...you have something you can admire and of which you can be proud. so it is true with a relationship.

don't ever think that a serious relationship is something you can fix on your own. it is a LIFE ENDEAVOR that takes teamwork. thus, it must be so that both should 1) be able to see AND admit faults in each other, and yourselves, and 2) be able to evolve for the better, from 2 people into 1; some people say compromise is key--but this is not so. a compromise assumes you will sacrifice certain wants to gain certain wants; but true evolution from 2 to 1 is marked by a union of desires--to want any or all that the other wants. such a beautiful thing goes far beyond compromise. of course, following suit in humanity's yearning for imperfection, take joy in the times that you do disagree; for once quenched, a true appreciation of each other's love surfaces, and you can look back and see the hard road you traveled to gain such a precious priceless and uncompromising love

 

[florabundance]

I think you can be "in love" at any age really.
I just think that they way you love (and how you go about it) changes as you grow older, and that your past experiences (however small or seemingly insignificant) influence that greatly.
I don't think loving someone is something that just happens at all, I think it's something you learn and refine as you grow as a person. Maybe that's why they say you can't really love someone else until you love yourself?

 

[User93]

I guess this whole idea that teens cant be in love come from the fact that majority of teens fall in love every other week with a new clasmate, that cute actor in the show, coach etc. But since we are talking about serious relationship, I agree that its ignorant to say a person cant be in love because is too young. Yes, it does happen that you grow and your values change, as well as happends that you two grow and develop together and become even closer ever month passed together.

I'm sorry your parents act this way PBunnieP

 

[malvidia]

Quote:

Originally Posted by florabundance I think you can be "in love" at any age really. I just think that they way you love (and how you go about it) changes as you grow older, and that your past experiences (however small or seemingly insignificant) influence that greatly. I don't think loving someone is something that just happens at all, I think it's something you learn and refine as you grow as a person. Maybe that's why they say you can't really love someone else until you love yourself?

i totally agree with that. i believe that you can love truly and deeply at any age, it's just that your age influences the way you love. i remember being in love at 16, and it was very real! i love in a completely different way now that i'm 28, but that doesn't make it less real... just different.

 

[ThePostcardOrg]

I don't really think age matters at all when it comes to love. It is all about how mature your relationship is! My mom and dad got together when she was 14, and he was 16, and still 28 years later they are still very much in love. And they have been happily married for over 18 years now.

 

[Beauty Mark]

Quote:

Originally Posted by PBunnieP I see the majority of you guys all pin-point it to personal maturity level and i most definitely agree. But I just quite frustrated when people can not take me [us] seriously or that people [esp. my relatives/parents] try to discourage me from a relationship even though we have been together 3+ yrs and have made it securely to university [one of the best in the country]. But even at 19, I can not even go out with him for lunch or a casual date without a death stare from my mother [since my dad is usualy at work]. My dad on the other hand refuses to accept that I HAVE a boyfriend. Completely in denial, in fact his final words on the subject were: "Come back to me when you're out of university and I'll be happy to take a look at whoever you bring home." >.>" Whatever happened to love and support?

Even though it isn't nice of your parents, do you think your parents are afraid of you just settling down too fast or other issues? I know my boyfriend's parents are anxious about his sister and her boyfriend, because his sister's world (I hear it's changed, but I'm not sure) revolved around this one guy. I guess they felt, even though he wasn't intentionally doing it, stunting her growth?

I don't know what your situation is, but sometimes parents use the age thing to try to comfort themselves into thinking what you're doing is a phase. It could just be that they are ready to see you grow up so soon

 

[abbey_08]

well love means different things to different people so i say you can be in love at any age.

and theres millions of different types of love...no-one views love the same way so no-one can say 'no you arent in love' because they dont know what you feel. obviously there is a difference between love and fatuation but who could actually pin point what exactly love is?

im 21 been with my current bf for just over 2yrs...and i know im in love. i know hes THE one. to me love is someone that knows everything about you, even things you dont nessicarily know, someone that loves you for your good and bad sides equally, someone that you can argue on the occasion with and not hate them after and someone you know you could tell anything to and they would never judge u on it. and someone who you can trust unconditionally!

im ranting on but basically i think there is no age, you will know if it is love!

 

[CandiGirl21]

I'm 21 years old and fortunately I grew up around mainly adults. I observed them to a tee and although I still have some growing to do in other areas. With love, I seem to not play. I mean you'll find girls my age that thinks a long-term relationship is only about cooking and cleaning...LMAO!!! Not to mention being pregnant...

So I do believe there is a certain age limit for men and women to know what real love is. I'd say around 25 for women and 28 for men...

 

[kaliraksha]

I think love definitely grows with time, experience and with overcoming issues together. But, I think you love everyone you've loved in a different way. You love in different ways at different points in your life. It doesn't demean any of the loving feelings you had... if you believe you love someone then you do, that's real to you and that's all that matters.

I'm almost certain your parents are doing this because they worry about you being "blinded" by what you feel. I think it's easier with our first loves to be "blinded" simply because we don't have a lot of experience in that department. There will always be someone who doesn't believe in your relationship because of their own bitterness or what they've seen in their lives. (Trust me... I've dealt with the parents and the friends who want a single gal pal.) You have to be stronger than the nay-sayers and you're going to University soon... there are work arounds for parents- it will all work out. Regardless of your age, always put the love you have for yourself before the love you have for your partner and you will be just fine.

In my situation, I've been with my boyfriend since I was 16 and the way I felt for him then I wouldn't change it for the world. It was passionate and dramatic and well... crazy. I think it's a wonderful experience and you should be happy you found someone to share it with. But, now that I've been with him for almost 7 years the love has changed into something more mature and deep and I value that even more. If you do stay together for a long time it will be a really beautiful thing to see the way your love changes and grows for him... especially when you get to see him at his worst. In high school I felt like my love was intense but volatile for him... now it's calming and stable and I hope it only gets better with time.

Don't let someone make you doubt whether it's love or not.. if you feel it is, then it is to you. If I were to tell you what you knew was red was actually blue it wouldn't change that you experienced it and believed it to be red.

 

[ab5inth7]

I think that it pretty much depends on the level of maturity. By some this level might reaslly be reached at the age of 16. But some might not even get there in their thirties...
Yet I am a teenager, so I am obviously not gonna tell you 'i can't love'

I would say it is also a matter of perspective - your love might be equal at the age of 16 and 26, but you'll look at it in a different way (just consider the circumstances .. school or the 'grown-up life' are really differrent!)

 

[xbuttonsx]

Me and my fiance became bf/gf at 15. After 6 months it was love. We are now 23, and 7 1/2 years later we are as happy as can be.