An unhappy makeup confession.

[oddinary]

So I don't feel like this is strong enough to put into the Deep Thoughts boards, but I feel like I should write this out sometime.

To sum up if you don't want to read this whole bunch of text...
I get made fun of when I wear make up and it hurts.

I love make up and the reason why I wear it is because it is fun. I like to play with colours and I treat it as an art. To be honest, I think I look better with less make up - my essentials comes down to a blush and a little lip colour. My eyes don't really need anything fancy to make me look awake.

I have accumlated a bunch of MAC make up and to be honest, most of the stuff I have NEVER worn out. This makes me sound like I am wasting it since I never wear it out. I do wear it, at home to play and such. But whenever I wear a little more than a lip colour out, powder and blush namely my mother thinks I have wearing to look pretty for a boy. What? Firstly, I don't have a boyfriend and that's not really the reason why I wear it. Maybe I wear powder to make my skin apper better and use concealer to hide spots , but I like to wear blush and eyeliner because I think it's fun and cute.

Probably a lot of girls have started off with lipgloss and black eyeliner (I hate both!) and get a lot into the drugstore make up. Well, my friends at least. They have a bunch of L'Oreal, Maybelline, etc. I got a few of those then I immediately started buying MAC. I love how MAC is so much more interesting since it comes out with postcards and new collections and cute product names. MAC isn't the cheapest option out there but I love their quality. Maybe another reason my mum didn't like me wearing make up at the beginning because it was all MAC. If it was L'oreal, she'd probably wouldn't mind as much.

Since I am Chinese, my family has this belief you shouldn't wear any make up till you go to work or when you're 23+. And there is this concept you should never have a boyfriend unless you're 20? Or you're a bad girl. Now, you're suppose to study hard. It's a old Chinese tradition and I understand it. But it's the 21st century and I just want to have fun sometimes but it makes me really upset when my family tells me, "why do you wear so much make up?" "why are you wearing powder???" When I was younger, I would wear blush out, then as soon as we were about to meet them, I'd try to rub it all off my face.

It really hurts but I haven't minded it as much since the beginning when I first started. My mum has accepted a little blush and lip colour now but my whenever my aunt questions me, it really hurts.

I also want to say 2 years ago, I use to be 130lbs. I was 5'2. That's pretty heavy and I use to eat a lot of junk food. Now 2 years later, I weigh myself I am 117lbs, 5'4. My aunt also thinks I am doing this for a boy. What is wrong with that? I just want to be healthy and have a better body. Is that a crime.

Anyone ever feel like this?

 

[Willa]

I think you should do whatever it says in the bottom of your heart.

When I read about this kind of traditions and ''minds'', it hurts me because I think about all I can do without being judge here in my confortable Canada...

When they question you, maybe you could tell them the truth.
You feel good about yourself when you put makeup on and you think its like an art, Tell them about your feelings, that you do that for you and only you, and not to try to get a boyfriend.

 

[Shimmer]

I'd say talk to your family, but understand (and I'm sure you do) that many times when a mind is set in certain traditions, it's hard to change. :/

 

[Michellissimo]

Hi, this is the first time I ever post here although I've been lurking around for quite awhile already. I wasnt really planning on posting anything yet untill I opened this thread. The reason why I do now is because I'm a HongKongnese myself, except that I live in Holland and am probably a few years older than you (23), so I can relate to the pressure that your family is giving you. I dont know how old you are but Im guessing that you just recently started using makeup and? I think its probably just really hard for your family to understand and accept the reason why you are going through these changes as they still look at you as a little girl...maybe in order for them to understand they try to find reasons of why you are changing and having interest in 'adult'-things as such, so they make up silly stuff like that you're doing it for boys and whatever...its silly, and their behaviour often comes accros as judgemental and it hurts... I know. But there really isnt anything you can do about it as whatever you say wont be heard by them..they think they know you better than you *sigh*. Lucky for me the only people that ever commented my makeup like your family were my parents...but thankfully not in the way your family is doing it to you though. I agree that somehow traditional chinese people think using makeup and dating boys should start not before your twenties... its really odd if you come to think of it, cos our grandparents were probably already married and having children at that age haha. What Im trying to say is... although you should respect your family, you should moreover respect yourself. Ofcourse you should take the advice/comments of your family in consideration and ask yourself if they are right about your way of using makeup. Are they making a problem because of the bright colors? Or because you've put the powder on a bit too obvious but you dont know? Cause powder is most of the time invisible on the skin..and foundation+powder should always look flawless and natural (doesnt mean you should neversee its on, but its got to be like "is she (wearing any powder/foundation), or isnt she")..so maybe thats something to think about..have you ever looked in a mirror in bright light? I've been there too that I've put the powder on too thick that it looked like a mask (which should NEVER be the case unless thats the look your aiming for ofcourse hehe) or that my foundation was too obvious cos I didnt blend well which made it look patchy and ugly. If its the colors they dont like then wear them in spare time when you are not with them I guess.
So if you if you like the way you look with makeup on, then put it on.. but perhaps you could make a compromise and use less bright/obvious colors/makeup when in company of tradional chinese family members. You know, using natural colors such as browns...earthy colors for the eyes? And with blush you could apply a soft pink/peach color with a soft hand, and maybe tinted moisturizer instead of foundation or just none but only a bit of blotpowder to keep away the shine... and in your own time wear whatever you want

The reason why I advice you to compromise is to avoid silly confrontation with your family..Im Chinese myself, so I know what its like to never be heard no matter what truth you tell them. If Im in company of relatives and friends of those or whatever, and I eat less or just not that much they always ask why I eat so less and conclude that Im probably dieting (which most of the time is NOT the case)..and its not because Im fat but because they NEED a reason for themselves to explain why it is that Im eating less that day. In situations like those I just behave relaxed and tell truthfully that Im just not that hungry and ignore the rest of the comments that comes flowing...usually its just joking around...and I hope thats the case with your family too. And also sometimes people just search for a little bit of drama and excitement in their lives so they make up silly things that they consider harmless to have something to talk about (you losing weight and using makeup to attract boys) haha Your family probably has the right intentions, they dont mean it bad...they're just...clueless

I hope this helped you a bit... I can sooo relate.

 

[Raerae]

i still get stuff like that from my Mom... She'll call me, we'll talk a little, and the last thing before we hang up is something along the lines of, "Oh, and can you please not make your makeup look so foofoo tonight because were going out with so and so" Which was basically the entire reason she called, she just had to beat around the bush.

My mom refused to help my dye my hair blonde becase she didn't want me in her words, "looking like a hooker" =P Parents are silly.

 

[MxAxC-_ATTACK]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Raerae i still get stuff like that from my Mom... She'll call me, we'll talk a little, and the last thing before we hang up is something along the lines of, "Oh, and can you please not make your makeup look so foofoo tonight because were going out with so and so" Which was basically the entire reason she called, she just had to beat around the bush. My mom refused to help my dye my hair blonde becase she didn't want me in her words, "looking like a hooker" =P Parents are silly.

hahaha. Hooker.

I know how the phone call thing goes too.. They have to drag on the conversation for a while so it doesnt seem like they are calling for just the one thing... Even though they totally are.

 

[saraa_b]

My parents are the same way... I used to buy drugstore makeup and my parents didn't seem to mind that much... but right when I started to get makeup from MAC, NARS, Chanel, etc. for quality purposes.. all of a sudden my dad says I'm wearing to much makeup and my mom yells at me for spending my money (that I made from working) on makeup. I'm in highschool so it's not like there is much stuff I can spend my money on besides clothes, cosmetics, and dvds.. lol

Mostly what makes me mad is how my dad thinks that 16 year olds should not wear mu or care about their hair or personal grooming... I'm not sure if he's in denial that I'm starting to get older or if he honestly thinks that highschool students should not have a life outside of studying!

 

[Raerae]

How about that dad from "10 things I hate about you!"

He makes his daughter wear the pregnant vest before she can go out LOL...

I think dads are just being dads, since they know MU is a sign that your taking an interest in your appearance, and along with that come the obvious reality, that boys are going to start taking an interest in your appearance too =P

 

[Pei]

I know I'm not helping...but here's my views:

I'm a pure chinese too (Singaporean) and my parents had never implement that no-make-up until u're 20+ rule on me! I had started with mascara & blusher when I was 16 and they merely called me a vainpot & that's all!Lol. Ur parents are indeed VERY traditional - I don't know what they are thinking abt?!!

Talk some sense into them!
Be firm, serious & respectful to them.

Tell them that u are doing all these for yourself and NO one else.

Bottom line: I just want to look pretty & feel good about myself!

 

[joytheobscure]

I think (as a parent of a 10 year old) I can understand the strictness, I will let her play with makeup at home but if I see her try to wear makeup out of the house (she's tried with lipstick because she has a friend whose mother allows her) - I've sent her back to wash it off. She won't until she's in High School and not heavy like my mac (I'm the mom and have double standards).

If I were you I'd try to work with your family with the cultural issues, I think in the USA we're very liberal about teenage sexuality and appearing sexy and looking way older. I know when I was a teen I wanted to look so old. I wouldn't think there is a difference between mac and loreal/maybelline - the price gap isn't that great anymore? It sounds like your family is trying to "protect" you in a way maybe from the attention they are afraid that you will get from boys-- That is my take on it as a Mom of a little girl (((hugs))) Hope you can talk about it and work it out.

 

[lovelyrose]

I can totally relate to your problems as I come from a very traditional family too. All I can say is, do what your heart says. If you think that wearing makeup is not a crime, go ahead and do it. If you listened to others, one day you might regret for not doing what you liked. Also, about losing weight. Tell your aunt that being slim is healthier than carrying extra weight!

 

[queenofdisaster]

i feel like that a lot. people think i do things to impress others. but it's to make myself feel better. follow your heart honey!

 

[oddinary]

Thank you for your support everyone. I really appreciate it.

Sadly, this happened to me again but I have ignored it. I really haven't found the courage to speak up to them yet, but I know I have to soon. They really need to understand...

Today - My aunt told me, "you know if you wear too much at this age, you'll get wrinkly skin when you're older" I mean, I don't wear powder so that my skin cannot breathe and it looks cakey. It's all very minimal. I don't like to wear heavy make up either.

Michellissimo, I don't think my powder is very obvious but she looked at me very closely so I guess that is why she say it.

If anyone else is interested to know,
the first time my Mum and I walked into the MAC store, my Mum simply stared at the MA. She was wearnig bright blue shadow (hmm, jewel blue or electric eel? hehe) lots of mascara, heavy blush, etc. "Wow she is wearing too much makeup" - so you see? Despite the fact it is the a job requirement for the MA to wear dramatic make up, people still look at it is "bad, rebel girl" way in cultures like these. :/

 

[MarieLisa_Smile]

Asian parents can be strict about everything... Actually they can be pain in the ass. Just Kidding.. My parents used to be like that actually my dad, but then things gotten better as I grew older... Well, from my point of view you should take your parents out to dinner and have a chat with them.... Just don't go right into it talking about make-up before they think that you took them out to dinner just to talk about MU. Do you understand what I’m trying to say? Just talk about other things, and when you think it's the time to talk to them about wearing MU... Just say like I've been thinking about the whole make-up situation.. I think it's time for me to wear make-up. If they say why just say ugh because it makes me happy and if don't wear make-up I'll never be happy... I just want to wear make-up so that I can feel good about myself... I'm doing it for me, not for anyone else. Just like break it down... Give them options like how I told you abut being happy and not happy. Tell me what happened ok? Keep me update!

Oh! I was reading when you mentioned about being heavy. People use to call me fat back then, and look at me I’m not fat.. I just have a belly, but when I look back at my middle school days I were never fat.. I wasn’t skinny skinny skinny. I was like a normal weight size. I missed being that size though. What’s your secret from losing weight? I’m trying to lose some weight so I can drop the belly… I eat Special K bar, cereal, and snack bites once in a while… I don’t know if it really works for other people… What kind of food are you eating to maintain the healthy life?

I hope I helped you with the make-up situation.