Another one of my X rated questions!

[miss holly j]

I think alot of it has to due with just being togather for a long period of time. In the begining it was all new and exciting. Now that you've been togather for a while it's not. Try to get out and do things togather, be romantic it just takes more effort.

I've been with my bf for 2 years and we don't have nearly as much sex as we used to. But I've had alot of stress in my life and it kills me sex drive.

 

[a914butterfly]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Katura Now I have the opposite question...I have a huge sexual appetite...and my man...has none. He tells me its because he's tired, but theres no way you can be tired evvvvvery day of you life. I just want a little more than a kiss! Any suggestions ladies???

OMG!! sounds like me and my hubby!! LOL i'm a horney bitch all the time and my hubby never seems to care and he is always tired or not in the mood and he wont even let me touch him to get him in the mood

 

[Hilly]

As for BC decreasing sexual appetite, do yall have another form of BC aside from condoms? I dont want any babies yet!

 

[ratmist]

Quote:

Originally Posted by hdirenzo As for BC decreasing sexual appetite, do yall have another form of BC aside from condoms? I dont want any babies yet!

Condoms are the best, in my opinion, based on having gone on birth control. I'm a very moody person by nature, and I found that birth control pills killed my libido and made me feel hungry all the damned time.

So yeah, we use condoms, and thank science for the morning after pill if we have a 'contraception failure' - as in, the condom broke or slipped off. (For the record, I've been with my husband for nearly 4 years, and we've only had ONE condom failure, so it's not like I've been chowing down on morning after pills...)

 

[ratmist]

Quote:

Originally Posted by LMcConnell18 okay. so ive been with my bf for nearly 4 yrs now. at first the sexual content was hot. and now... well... its not! lol. not that it sux really... its ME! for approx. the last year... i havent had the biggest sexual appetite! we've gone months without doing anything. we live in a house with my mother... so its not like we can have crazy hot sex, or sleep in the nude, or ANYTHING relaxed about sex. hes complained about the lack of sexual activity between us, but he also tells me that i am way more important to him than sex, and that hed rather spend the rest of his life with me, even if it meant he never has sex again. we actually have a sex pattern almost. its like some random night, ill feel like doing something, i wont want to wait for him to finish if im done first, well wake up in the morning, go for another round, and then theres nothing for like 3-4 weeks or longer. im not sure if its stress, because believe me, i have been in the most stressful situation for the longest time now... i just dont know. is there something wrong with me? or have other girls gone through the same thing? could it be that im not as physically attracted to him anymore? he has a hot body, always has, [although he MAY be gaining a lil weight around the mid section, but still hot] so i dont think thats the issue really... what the hell is wrong here!

Okay, this is an X-rated reply, I guess.

My husband is a wonderful man, and he understands that the stress of my research (I'm a PhD student) kills my libido. Before I started my PhD, I was happily enjoying sex with him on a near-daily basis.

These days, I find that our ratio is *much* lower, and unfortunately, lower than either of us like. It's not that my taste for sex is gone - it's that everything gets in the way: the mundane things in life suddenly need to 'get done' and take priority when they never did before - the chores and the house and everything - and sex becomes the absolute last thing on my mind. And typically, I'm exhausted.

So I have to jumpstart the libido. And for me, that means reading smutty fiction, or *ahem*, porn. My husband finds this really amusing, btw, and not at all threatening. He understands that there is a disconnect between my head (which is saying: please please please I want to have sex) and my body (which is saying: I'm dry as the Sahara and there ain't no monsoon happening downtown anytime soon, so get over it). The smut jumpstarts my body, and then I hunt down my husband.

I'm not saying that you should reach for the smut just so you can bear to have sex with your partner - if that's your problem, then this is bad bad bad advice. But if you still desire your man, and find him attractive, but can't seem to get the body to get with the programme, maybe this advice will help. It's always worth a go - pic a television show that you like and go look up some smutty fanfic.

 

[Shimmer]

Making him hot will make you hot.

Take pics while fondling yourself in the tanning bed, then send them to his cell phone.
He'll call you freaking out and horny as hell, which will rev you up, and you two can doink like bunnies bent over the sink in your bathroom watching it in the mirror.



Just sayin.

 

[Raerae]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ratmist I'm not saying that you should reach for the smut just so you can bear to have sex with your partner - if that's your problem, then this is bad bad bad advice. But if you still desire your man, and find him attractive, but can't seem to get the body to get with the programme, maybe this advice will help. It's always worth a go - pic a television show that you like and go look up some smutty fanfic.

Hahe... Or buy one of those romance novels with Fabio on the cover =p ROFL...

Was so funny... We were going through my grandma's library after she passed away, and she had hundreds of them LOL! They are actually pretty hot LOL! I know I can get a lot more turned on from thinking/reading about it, than watching it heh.

 

[Raerae]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shimmer Making him hot will make you hot. Take pics while fondling yourself in the tanning bed, then send them to his cell phone. He'll call you freaking out and horny as hell, which will rev you up, and you two can doink like bunnies bent over the sink in your bathroom watching it in the mirror. Just sayin.

lol Shim... Just gave me another reason not to use a tanning bed LOL

 

[Shimmer]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Raerae lol Shim... Just gave me another reason not to use a tanning bed LOL

*shrug*

 

[ratmist]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Raerae Hahe... Or buy one of those romance novels with Fabio on the cover =p ROFL... Was so funny... We were going through my grandma's library after she passed away, and she had hundreds of them LOL! They are actually pretty hot LOL! I know I can get a lot more turned on from thinking/reading about it, than watching it heh.

LOL! Eww! I stay away from the grocery store books - but you should check out this site if you want 'intelligent woman smut' (lol): http://www.smartbitchestrashybooks.com/

 

[user79]

Yeah actually, porn sometimes gets me horny too.

 

[Urbana]

i had the same problem with my exboyfriend. but the thing that caught my eye was that he told you that you are more important than sex for him. girl, that never happened to me!!!
my exso told me i had a problem and i had to go to therapy. the problem was that he was so simple in bed i was very bored hahahahahha

 

[Sikfrmthemirror]

I think the sexual attraction might be the problem, even being in the situation that you are in might be a problem.

I know that when im on the pill I would prefer guys to not even look at me let alone touch me.

its funny that you live with your mom. cause i stay with my mom and my boyfriends usually with me all the time.. and im there ALOT. and we get it on where ever we can. but maybe i should stop cause it could get old. maybe.

 

[MACreation]

I have been with my bf for 1 1/2 yrs.
I feel the same too. I'm on the patch and am so hungry/cranky not as horny as I used to be. It's so hard for me to get into it, some positions hurt me, and I can barely get off, I worry about orgasm wayyy too much! Even when not having sex!

I have been so stressed at my job forever, and my fianancial stuff is not in check at all. This has a lot to do with it. It consumes like 90% of my brain all the time. I also live at home still, and he is my 1st casual sex partner.

How I get into it, is I wear like sweats, and a tshirt when I'm at his place, and really sexy lingerie underneath. It gets me excited and him very excited, when he figures out what's beneath it. I also feel akward, like where the hell do I put my arms when we're doing it? lol...it's still weird for me...

 

[Raerae]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MACreation How I get into it, is I wear like sweats, and a tshirt when I'm at his place, and really sexy lingerie underneath. It gets me excited and him very excited, when he figures out what's beneath it. I also feel akward, like where the hell do I put my arms when we're doing it? lol...it's still weird for me...

Can always put your arms around him, and dig your nails into his back

hehe. Leaving marks is fun =P

 

[MACreation]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Raerae Can always put your arms around him, and dig your nails into his back hehe. Leaving marks is fun =P

yeah, but in hot weather, i feel more ick..lol
like I actually get pissed if I sweat and have to shower bc i got all ready for it in the first place.
i'm bad

 

[Raerae]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MACreation yeah, but in hot weather, i feel more ick..lol like I actually get pissed if I sweat and have to shower bc i got all ready for it in the first place. i'm bad

lol... some of the hottest (literally and figurative lol) sex i've ever had was when we were both drenched in sweat. You know that scene from the titanic, where they are doing it in the car, and the windows are all steamed up, that kinda hot sweaty sex haha. I swear we were dripping lol, it was like sooooo cold outside, but so hot inside his car LOL. Everything was hot and slippery, it was great =P You know the kind, where you can barely walk after because your legs are so wobbly lol.

 

[Katura]

Dang Raerae!!! I'm t work...and now all I can thin kabout is jumping in my boys backseat with him!!!! hahahaha...

what a distraction.

PS. That problem I was having earlier in the thread? Solved

 

[Raerae]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Katura Dang Raerae!!! I'm t work...and now all I can thin kabout is jumping in my boys backseat with him!!!! hahahaha... what a distraction. PS. That problem I was having earlier in the thread? Solved

Haha... That was a unique relationship lol... I dont think we ever had sex in a bed for the first few weeks lol. It was always in the car, or at the beach lol.

Edit- just make sure you keep the windows closed

else it wot get all steamy haha.

 

[MrsJames]

I am giong thru a similar situation. My fiance and I are in the same boat... Having a lot of sex, then none for a few weeks. I think it's a combination of a couple things...

1. Being stressed. I KNOW this is the major factor in our sex life. With wedding planning, and other personal things going on in our life right now, we're just too stressed, so it kind of kills the romance factor.
2. is the fact that we are sooo busy! Again, the wedding planning, work, the gym, cooking, cleaning, taking care of our pets leaves little time for 'us'.
3. Hey the rabbit sex will stop at some point. We were the same way when we started dating over 4 1/2 years ago. I think that always changes in relationships after years. Try to spice it up a little. Buy toys, pornos, dress up, whatever you're into. Try new things!

It may not go right back to the way it used to be when you first started dating, but take some time out at least a couple times a week for you two. Try different things and make it happen even if you're not in the mood. Sometimes I'm nowhere near being in the mood, but we'll put a "movie" in and start doing things and then I'll be totally into it. Also maybe even if you're not in the mood, put out for him anyway. I don't mean to sound rude, but I do that a lot. I know men have their "needs" when it comes to sex, and they need it a lot more than we do. Let him "poke" you in the shower (sorry, that's what we call it. haha). Hopefully that helps you a little. I'm sorry you're going thru this, but i definitely understand.