Are you a good girlfriend/wife/SO?

[Raerae]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shimmer Then the other three get home, and I'm supermom again, so the idea at the end of the day of shucking all the responsibility related to mom and turning into supervixen is really difficult. BUT, given that sex is an integral part of our (and any) relationship, I have to walk that line to keep us healthy.

I think thats a important part, bu also for him as well. I've seen relationships where guys stopped being as attentative and flirty and etc as they were in the begining. Once they got comfortable.

I think thats a part both partener have to work at. Just because your in a committed relations doesn't mean you should stop doing all the little things that attracted you to each other in the begining.

Relationships are work, lasting ones anyways.

 

[little teaser]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shimmer No communication for three days = pretty much the end of the relationship IMO. Unless he's deployed or on Survivor Island, there's no reason, in this day and age, to go three days incomunicado.

unless there deployed on a ship with phones and a computer. communication shouldnt stop

but i wont get into that rant

 

[giz2000]

Relationships are a lot of work. I tend to be somewhat selfish, but I also give DH a lot of space to do his own thing. We do a lot of things together, though, as a family and as a couple. We share a lot of the same interests, but I have to draw the line at shopping...I have to go by myself or with friends, because he has not patience at all!!

We'll have been married 14 years this November...we must be doing something right!

 

[*Luna*]

My husband and I are lucky for the simple fact we were great friends for over 3 years before we started dating. We knew exactly what we were getting into. We built a solid relationship on a solid friendship. We already knew what it was going to take to make eachother happy. We used to sit and listen to each other bitch about our SO's at the time... when it came to dating it was almost as easy as cheating on a test, we already knew the answers. Thats not to say our relationship isn't hard work. I think it takes work to keep any relationship no matter the foundation it was built upon. People continuously grow and at some point you have to make the decision to grow together or grow apart. It takes work and compromise to continue to grow together but our relationship gets nothing but better as we make that progress together. I know neither one of us is perfect but we certainly try hard for eachother.

 

[medusalox]

I wasn't always a great girlfriend,but I can safely say that I am now. I've been with Mike for 3 years now, and over that span of time, you just start to realize that "Oh, my actions DO have an effect on him". It teaches you, or at least it taught me, to be a lot less selfish and a lot more caring, whilst still holding firm to things that matter to me. We've both made some mistakes, but thank goodness, we can learn from them.

 

[jenii]

The way I see it? My husband's happy, so I must be doing something right.

 

[glamdoll]

For the most part I think I am.
Theres time where I dont agree with something
but I try to go 50/50 at it.
I try to be reasonable and put my best foot forward
Every day I try to improve!
I think Im ok..

 

[miss holly j]

I think im a good girlfriend, I just moved in with my bf and I do our laundry, bring him lunch to part time a few times a month, leave him sweet texts. I mean we all have our crappy moments but all and all im a good catch.

 

[enraptured]

I think I'd be lying if I said that I'm absolutely 100% a "good" mate. In my opinion, most people would be. I'm a good mate most of the time. Relationships always have their ups and downs. People can't constantly maintain a positive outlook, or remain totally calm all the time. My husband is a great husband... most of the time. I'm a pretty great wife... most of the time.

 

[Showgirl]

See, I've had some VERY big stuff to deal with in my relationship, unforseeable, life-changing, dramatic stuff, and as a result many people tell us - particularly folks that have known my partner for a long time - that he should count himself "lucky to have me", that I'm a "GREAT girlfriend" for dealing so well with some of the stuff that's come up over the last few years.... and right enogh, I think some of the things I've had to deal with in my current relationship would be considered "dealbreakers" by 90% of folk.... but weirdly, it's NOT the big "dramas" or the shocking revelations(tm) that I personally have found hard to deal with, it's the day-to-day maintenance of a long term relationship that takes the hard work....it's keeping the sweetness, the kindness, the attention and the passion going each and every day after you've been with someone for many years and not taking someone for granted that's the real challenge.... and I ain't sure that I'm quite the "super girlfriend" many folks perceive me as being on those fronts, I'm capable of being as lazy as hell in my homelife, and I *do* definitely take him somewhat for granted these days....

Being a good partner is bl**dy hard work, and the devil's in the detail and in the distance - it's easy to be a great girlfriend when everything's rosy and you're happy, and it's also not that hard (if you love someone) to rally when the world throws disaster at you .... what's difficult is the absolute humdrum day-to-day stuff, for me that's the work, and is what really makes a GREAT girlfriend/wife/partner whatver.

 

[sharyn]

I guess not. I'm easily bored and I dont belive in "forever". I just do what I want. I'm selfish and I like to party. There's lots of good looking people out there and I am young - so I try not to take anything to serious. God, one of my best friends is only 18 and engaged - horror!!!!!!!! I hate compromizing and all of that stuff so... my vote is my way or the highway.

Ooooooh and I'm never ever be cooking or doing someones laundry (I dont even do my own)... not because I'm a hardcore feminist, just because...uum, I'm lazy and I dont bother to change for anyone.

I'm still a nice person though.

 

[EmbalmerBabe]

Good topic Shimmer!

Well If you read my other post about getting dumped by my SO of 2+years I guess I am a pretty sh*tty gf. Lol.

My newly pronounced ex told me the last time we spoke "my sister and I read on the internet that the number 1 reason guys dump their girlfriends is because they bitch and nag too much over stuff they should not bother bitching about,or have no place to bitch about." He said I am a bitch that bitches and nags too much and trys to tell him what to do with his life. I guess I am a bitch sometimes
perhaps I need to work on that. I'm only trying to give sound advice though. I know I can be a bad SO/GF, but I also know I am not bad 100% of the time. It's not all me being the a**hole all ways. It's a two way street.

 

[IslandGirl77]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shimmer And, y'all, this isn't just about "OH, I don't mind if he plays poke/wii/ff/WOW, as long as he does ____ with me". It's also about retaining the sexuality (it IS important to guys) that was present in the beginning of the relationship, and about being adventurous and interesting, and sexy, and mysterious, while stilll being the gf/wife/so. That is a HARD line to walk...because, as in my case, I spend ALL DAY with little mongrels wanting/needing s omething from me. I'm hugged (love 'em), touched, patted, called, talked to, and related to on a very childish (childlike really) basis because I'm around a 2 year old and a 4 year old all day long. Then the other three get home, and I'm supermom again, so the idea at the end of the day of shucking all the responsibility related to mom and turning into supervixen is really difficult. BUT, given that sex is an integral part of our (and any) relationship, I have to walk that line to keep us healthy.

I can relate to this. I'm with a 3 and 4 year old all day. It gets a little lonely at times. So when your man comes home you don't want to seem all clingy and stuff. But, spending a day with kids makes you feel the need for some adult attention. It can be hard to switch from Mom mode to sexy woman mode. I would like to think that I am a good woman. I do for my man, and I respect him. He respects me, so it's not hard to give to him.

 

[Krasevayadancer]

This is an interesting one:
According to my boyfriend I am the best girlfriend ever. However, I think if thinks didn't ever go my way I would turn real fast. What i find interesting is that I have been told by outsiders that I am high maintenance and hard to be around sometimes, does that mean they or wrong or he is?

 

[ginger9]

Hell ya.

I think I make a pretty awesome SO if I may say so myself. I have the personality of a tom boy, but I don't look like one any more

I make a good living, have a pretty good head on my shoulder (no history of stalking), slight serious darkside but mostly goofy. Oh I'm a feminist but I love to cook and I do my own laundry

Seriously though, I've had two serious relationships and both of my ex's still keep in touch and I guess you could say they are quite complimentary (okay one guys wants me back). I mean I've made a lot of mistakes but at my age I think I know what it takes to make it work. Unfortunately the timing (1st bf) and wrong person (2nd bf) happened.

 

[Dizzy]

In one word: No.

I'm too selfish, independent, and "wishy-washy" to be a good SO in this point in my life. But then again, I'm still young (19), so I still have time to learn. And thankfully, the current boyfriend has enough patience, and knows how to deal with me. I'm damn lucky.