MxAxC-_ATTACK
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thanks for all your help!
Boyfriends -friends. trouble
- Thread starter MxAxC-_ATTACK
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sharyn
Well-known member
The next time Ron plays Martha Steward, I'd say "It's okay, mommy, I'll do that!"... you know, make a joke out of it. Because ranting and yelling at Ron will prolly not get you anywhere, esp. if your BF thinks Ron isnt annoying at all.
and for the 12 hour dirve... duct tape his mouth and put him in the trunk. j/k, I'd try to talk to my BF BEFORE the trip. With someone like that in your car, you'll be a wreck by the time you'll get there. Maybe Brian can make Ron understand... after all, they're best friends!
Good luck hun, hope it gets better
MxAxC-_ATTACK
Well-known member
.....
amoona
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Oh man I'd go psycho lol. I really think you should talk to your boyfriend. Let him know that you want some time with him! He honestly probably doesn't even realize it, most of the time guys don't lol. And if he does he probably is kinda confused about what to do.
I had a similar situation with my cousin acting staying at my house and totally cutting into me and my boyfriends time together. I think if you just let your boyfriend know that you want time together and not with Ron around he'd understand that.
I had a similar situation with my cousin acting staying at my house and totally cutting into me and my boyfriends time together. I think if you just let your boyfriend know that you want time together and not with Ron around he'd understand that.
sharyn
Well-known member
Quote:
It is your right as the owner of the car to tell him to stop it. No matter if anyone thinks you're overreacting or not, it has to stop. You dont pee in empty bottles while driving, so he should stop doing that. I'd tell him befor the trip and if he still insists in doing that, I'd leave him at home. the line has to be drawn somewhere!!!
Originally Posted by MxAxC-_ATTACK
As for the Road trip.. Ron also uses chewing tobacco.. and I think its gross (no offense to anyone here who may use it ) but I do NOT like the smell of it.. and Last time we drove up north with him.. he spit into bottles(which makes me gag thinking about it) then LEFT the bottles in the car when he left.. and there was like 3. I almost puked because not only is that DISGUSTING,, its disrespectful. I don't want him doing that In my car. ( I also don't allow smoking in this particular car ) I don't know how to tell him politely not to do it in my car.. and not piss anyone off. |
It is your right as the owner of the car to tell him to stop it. No matter if anyone thinks you're overreacting or not, it has to stop. You dont pee in empty bottles while driving, so he should stop doing that. I'd tell him befor the trip and if he still insists in doing that, I'd leave him at home. the line has to be drawn somewhere!!!
xbeatofangelx
Well-known member
Wow uh... How can I put this nicely?
Ron sounds gay. It sounds like he's trying to steal your boyfriend from you.
My boyfriend would be weirded out if one of his guy friend started doing things like this for him. I don't know why yours isn't. Is he gay? (Hopefully not) How's the sex? Do you have sex?
It sounds like you could do a looooot better. A LOOOT better.
Don't mean to offend! <3
Ron sounds gay. It sounds like he's trying to steal your boyfriend from you.
My boyfriend would be weirded out if one of his guy friend started doing things like this for him. I don't know why yours isn't. Is he gay? (Hopefully not) How's the sex? Do you have sex?
It sounds like you could do a looooot better. A LOOOT better.
Don't mean to offend! <3
MxAxC-_ATTACK
Well-known member
......
kaliraksha
Well-known member
Boooo on Ron! I say you talk to Brian about your feelings immediately! Tell him that you appreciate that he hangs out with his friends, etc. However, especially since you don’t live together anymore you need and appreciate anytime alone you guys spend. I wouldn’t worry too much about Ron trying to do everything for Brian… but more on the side that you have needs too and you should be getting them met. If Brian doesn’t see an issue, then talk to Ron- he already probably has beef with you- it can’t possibly hurt more. At least this way, he will “dislike” you and you will get what you want/need. Is he rude or verbally abusive in anyway? If he is that is just unacceptable and you should talk to Ron directly anyway. My feelings are your boyfriend is oblivious to Ron’s actions or is in denial- a lot of guys feel like there are no problems until they are pointed out- not quite as intuitive and sensitive as some women.
MxAxC-_ATTACK
Well-known member
Hes not verbally abusive at all... I cant get him to say anything other than "Hi" to me
Bernadette
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I have a few guesses....
1. Ron doesn't dislike you, he is just socially retarded. He might not even realize how unfriendly he is, he's just toally bad with people. Your boyfriend has probalby been friend's with him for so long that he's just used to his oddities. I bet if you casually ask around you might find out you're not the only person who thinks he's a bit off.
2. Ron is scared of girls. Therefore, even though you're his buddies girlfriend, he still doens't know how to act around you.
That whole making Brian and himself dinner and not making you dinner was SO rude, I would have said something for sure. I would have been like "What the F Ron, nice job. Way to drop a subtle hint."
I think that is the type of stuff you should say. Be really blunt but in a sarcastic way so it's as if you are just giving him shit and don't really care all that much yet are still calling him out.
That's how I tend to be in general and I've never had a problem with anything like this so heck it should work right!
I would be honest with your boyfriend and just tell him "Look, it's obvious to me that Ron either doesn't like me or is uncomfortable around me for reasons I don't understand. That's unfortuante but it makes hanging out with him less than fun. So, you can understand why I wouldn't want to be around him all that much." If he accuses you of overreacting or being wrong just tell him "Overreaction or not, that's how I feel and that's how it is."
As for this car ride, I would lay the cards on the table from the get go. "There's no smoking in my car, and there's no using chew in it either. If you don't like that, tough shit." If they say they shouldn't be taking your car then tell them you shouldn't have to sit in any car with someone with two disgusting habbits for 12 hours in order to accomdate someone else's gross addictions.
Sooner or later you might just have to be tough or be kind of bitchy but I would just let both of them know where you stand. Why should you have to put up with all of the crap?
1. Ron doesn't dislike you, he is just socially retarded. He might not even realize how unfriendly he is, he's just toally bad with people. Your boyfriend has probalby been friend's with him for so long that he's just used to his oddities. I bet if you casually ask around you might find out you're not the only person who thinks he's a bit off.
2. Ron is scared of girls. Therefore, even though you're his buddies girlfriend, he still doens't know how to act around you.
That whole making Brian and himself dinner and not making you dinner was SO rude, I would have said something for sure. I would have been like "What the F Ron, nice job. Way to drop a subtle hint."
I think that is the type of stuff you should say. Be really blunt but in a sarcastic way so it's as if you are just giving him shit and don't really care all that much yet are still calling him out.
That's how I tend to be in general and I've never had a problem with anything like this so heck it should work right!
I would be honest with your boyfriend and just tell him "Look, it's obvious to me that Ron either doesn't like me or is uncomfortable around me for reasons I don't understand. That's unfortuante but it makes hanging out with him less than fun. So, you can understand why I wouldn't want to be around him all that much." If he accuses you of overreacting or being wrong just tell him "Overreaction or not, that's how I feel and that's how it is."
As for this car ride, I would lay the cards on the table from the get go. "There's no smoking in my car, and there's no using chew in it either. If you don't like that, tough shit." If they say they shouldn't be taking your car then tell them you shouldn't have to sit in any car with someone with two disgusting habbits for 12 hours in order to accomdate someone else's gross addictions.
Sooner or later you might just have to be tough or be kind of bitchy but I would just let both of them know where you stand. Why should you have to put up with all of the crap?
MxAxC-_ATTACK
Well-known member
yeah. I kind of think he is socially retarded too.. which is also the reason he has never had a girlfriend.. HELLO! Girls dont like Creepy guys!!
he also cant NOT look me straight in the eye. hes got what I like to call "shift eye" or "creep eye" Yeah.. I also tend to do the "blunt with sarcasm" deal. I tried being nice to him. talked to him.. etc.. to no prevail . I am gonna TRY and talk to him (while he looks past me with his creep eye) and ask him if he has a problem. if not I'm gonna tell him he should be more social it will make him more pleasant for everyone to be around. If that doesn't work.. my sarcastic side will emerge. .. and that will be that.
As for the car ride. you all are right...im just gonna be blunt.. Its my car.. my rules.. sorry charlie but thats how the cookie crumbles! if he wants to use his.. "chaw" he can do it when we stop for Gas..I DONT want to be smelling the nasty smell of "raunchy dumpster" while he uses chewing tobaccey in my car. lol no way jose.
he also cant NOT look me straight in the eye. hes got what I like to call "shift eye" or "creep eye" Yeah.. I also tend to do the "blunt with sarcasm" deal. I tried being nice to him. talked to him.. etc.. to no prevail . I am gonna TRY and talk to him (while he looks past me with his creep eye) and ask him if he has a problem. if not I'm gonna tell him he should be more social it will make him more pleasant for everyone to be around. If that doesn't work.. my sarcastic side will emerge. .. and that will be that.
As for the car ride. you all are right...im just gonna be blunt.. Its my car.. my rules.. sorry charlie but thats how the cookie crumbles! if he wants to use his.. "chaw" he can do it when we stop for Gas..I DONT want to be smelling the nasty smell of "raunchy dumpster" while he uses chewing tobaccey in my car. lol no way jose.
kaliraksha
Well-known member
Omg wait... what if Ron likes you. Remember Love Actually?
Maybe in that playground like kind of way? Or in that I must be safe and do everything opposite that would suggest I like her...
Tan-tan!
Maybe in that playground like kind of way? Or in that I must be safe and do everything opposite that would suggest I like her...
Tan-tan!
Bernadette
Well-known member
Quote:
Ah that's one of my favorite movies! Hey ya never know, this could be the case!
| Originally Posted by kaliraksha
Omg wait... what if Ron likes you. Remember Love Actually? Maybe in that playground like kind of way? Or in that I must be safe and do everything opposite that would suggest I like her... Tan-tan! |
Ah that's one of my favorite movies! Hey ya never know, this could be the case!
MxAxC-_ATTACK
Well-known member
I doubt it. haha.
I talked to Brian about our trip north and he said "Good luck getting him not to chew" (gag) and I said.. well he has to respect my rules right? I dont like dirty habits in my car. my car isnt anything special.. but it is MINE i like to take care of it because well.. I worked hard for it you know?
So i said i just wont let him in my car with any type of container. lol . and ill lock his window so he doesnt spit it all over the side of my car.. (throws up.. then shivers) eeww
I talked to Brian about our trip north and he said "Good luck getting him not to chew" (gag) and I said.. well he has to respect my rules right? I dont like dirty habits in my car. my car isnt anything special.. but it is MINE i like to take care of it because well.. I worked hard for it you know?
So i said i just wont let him in my car with any type of container. lol . and ill lock his window so he doesnt spit it all over the side of my car.. (throws up.. then shivers) eeww
xbeatofangelx
Well-known member
OOhh yeah dang, maybe Ron just needs a friend =[. And by friend I mean other friends. Good luck!
Beauty Mark
Well-known member
I said this in another thread about someone else's situation, but who cares if this guy is gay? He may be, he may be not. It's besides the point.
Did something bad happen to him that he's all of sudden hanging around your boyfriend constantly? How did you approach your boyfriend about Ron? I would try again and as calmly and rationally tell him that you want to spend time alone with Brian. Alone alone. Explain that you think this guy Ron dislikes you and cite specific examples.
I would also talk to Ron, especially regarding issues with the car trip. I would bring up, too, if he dislikes you and why. Not knowing the full situation, maybe he's being assy towards you because of something he feels you wronged him on.
Did something bad happen to him that he's all of sudden hanging around your boyfriend constantly? How did you approach your boyfriend about Ron? I would try again and as calmly and rationally tell him that you want to spend time alone with Brian. Alone alone. Explain that you think this guy Ron dislikes you and cite specific examples.
I would also talk to Ron, especially regarding issues with the car trip. I would bring up, too, if he dislikes you and why. Not knowing the full situation, maybe he's being assy towards you because of something he feels you wronged him on.
xbeatofangelx
Well-known member
Well... if Ron was gay, than his feelings towards Brian are of a more serious nature! Then it's kind of like a girl intruding on her relationship.. trying to break them up because of a love interest, instead of just a friendship thing?
Though it's not really pertinent to the whole tobacco chewing thing, I do believe that it's of slight importance in the overall situation. :]
Though it's not really pertinent to the whole tobacco chewing thing, I do believe that it's of slight importance in the overall situation. :]
Beauty Mark
Well-known member
Disrespect is disrespect. I don't care who it comes from or why. It'll just weaken her argument. She could possibly come off as crazy-jealous (the kind of person who thinks any nice gesture means that the other person is interested in the SO) or if any of the people involved aren't comfortable with homosexuality, it looks like vilification. Also, if you bring up the gay issue and he is but not comfortable with coming out now, it's only going to make matters worse, because most closeted people do not want to be outed. Until she sees Ron trying to make a pass at him (cooking dinner doesn't count, because otherwise, I've hit on a lot more people than I've meant to), I would just leave it as a disrespect.
Plenty of friends, who are straight, try to end relationships out of jealousy that their best friends are spending a lot of time with the relationship. Some people are really that selfish, regardless of their orientation.
Plenty of friends, who are straight, try to end relationships out of jealousy that their best friends are spending a lot of time with the relationship. Some people are really that selfish, regardless of their orientation.
Ms. Z
Well-known member
Oh goodness, I wish you would not have posted this. It brings out the side of me that wants to shake up a person & scream at them, WAKE UP! Well, if you posted this, I guess you can handle the opinions & views of others.
The relationship between these two is weird for "heterosexual" men.
- Because someone has never had a boyfriend/girlfriend does not make them gay, but if the person has never dated or is not interested in the opposite sex, now that may mean something.
- C’mon he broke his arm and needs help, that’s an excuse not a reason. He does not need someone around to help him all the time. I would have a problem hooking up with a person who is that helpless. People lose body parts, some are disabled and they do things for themselves.
- Sex can be great, but that doesn’t mean the person is not bi-sexual?
