Boyfriends -friends. trouble

[M.A.C*Attack]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ZLoves2Shop Oh goodness, I wish you would not have posted this. It brings out the side of me that wants to shake up a person & scream at them, WAKE UP! Well, if you posted this, I guess you can handle the opinions & views of others. Because someone has never had a boyfriend/girlfriend does not make them gay, but if the person has never dated or is not interested in the opposite sex, now that may mean something. C’mon he broke his arm and needs help, that’s an excuse not a reason. He does not need someone around to help him all the time. I would have a problem hooking up with a person who is that helpless. People lose body parts, some are disabled and they do things for themselves. Sex can be great, but that doesn’t mean the person is not bi-sexual? The relationship between these two is weird for "heterosexual" men.

i mean come on heaven forbid later he'll be asking for help to wipe his ass and rons going to be the one helping him in that department too!

Although it may cause conflict I think you need to put ur foot down big time and even if u have to confront them at the same time that way Ron wont start acting like a little pussy saying that u said things to him about ur man or that u told him something else and start playing that he said she said game!

honestly I think ron is in the closet.. cause they do have a strange friendship/realationship!, and my brother acted the same way b4 he was outted by another person......

Its better to be safe than sorry ...you need to find out whats really going on! .. so good luck with everything!

 

[KAIA]

MMM yeah that "somebody else's situation" was mine! ... well at least i'm not the only one....
MxAxC ATTACK: i understand you 100% because right now i'm dealing with the same situation ... what i did was excluding that friend of his, not paying him any attention i don;t even talk to him! so that makes him uncomfortable that he end up leaving (muahahaha), i let my boyfriend now how i feel about his friend being ALL THE TIME behind him, speak up! if he keeps acting weird just let him go... it's not worthy.. i know is easy to say BUT A RELATIONSHIP IS ABOUT 2! NOT 3! i really hope everything will work great for you!

 

[MxAxC-_ATTACK]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beauty Mark Disrespect is disrespect. I don't care who it comes from or why. It'll just weaken her argument. She could possibly come off as crazy-jealous (the kind of person who thinks any nice gesture means that the other person is interested in the SO) or if any of the people involved aren't comfortable with homosexuality, it looks like vilification. Also, if you bring up the gay issue and he is but not comfortable with coming out now, it's only going to make matters worse, because most closeted people do not want to be outed. Until she sees Ron trying to make a pass at him (cooking dinner doesn't count, because otherwise, I've hit on a lot more people than I've meant to), I would just leave it as a disrespect. Plenty of friends, who are straight, try to end relationships out of jealousy that their best friends are spending a lot of time with the relationship. Some people are really that selfish, regardless of their orientation.

I wasnt disrespecting anyone. I dont care if Ron is gay or straight, My boyfriend is not gay so it doesnt matter. What I was talking about is Ron constantly being around.. He takes over things ive already started.. and leaves me with nothing. He makes Brian dinner.. while I am there, and doesnt make me any.. The other weekend he walked over to a donut shop before we went camping. and got them both donuts but got me nothing. No its not a big deal I just walked over by myself and got one on my own. Its just the gesture that he is clearly subtracting me from their little "group"
I wasnt trying to pull anyone out of the closet. I didnt even bring up the gay thing. I have plenty of gay friends who acted the same way as well , before they emerged from the "closet". I dont care if hes gay.. WHAT I DO care about is him disrespecting ME, Ive been nothing but nice to him.. and hes has done nothing but exclude me.. My original post was to try and find out perhaps WHY he has been doing this.. and what I should do about it.

I Havent approaced my b.f about it yet. I dont really know what to say. He will say I am just being jealous. ( I dont think that wanting respect from his friend equals jealously) . We did get some alone time this week which is good. I dont mind Ron being around.. I welcome all of his other friends around all the time. but Ron, has always been so quite and silently disrespectful that I dont like being around him more than I have to be

 

[kaliraksha]

I think you should at least point it out to your bf, I know in this situation my fiance in trying to keep the peace- would probably go the donut shop instead and buy everyone something. Although my fiance would probably get me something a little extra just to put his friend in his "place".

 

[user79]

Is Ron possibly a closet homosexual? It sounds like he is jealous and is acting the part of a jealous rival!!!

 

[circe221]

It sounds like Ron might just be clueless as to how relationships work. He might not even realize that his infringing on your couple time is bothering you.

Do you get the vibe that he doesn't like you for some reason? If not, then I would say he just lacks social skills in this area. My guess is that he has not had a serious girlfriend either.

I would maybe talk to your bf about this, and in a nice way mention that you miss the private time. Don't badmouth Ron, because your bf might take it the wrong way and you'll end up looking like the bad guy.

 

[MxAxC-_ATTACK]

something miraculous has happened! I am finally getting a long with Ron.. My boyfriend had a talk with him .. It turns out.. that Brians OTHER friend lets call him.. Mike. Spreads a lot of rumors, he told Ron that I was a huge bitch. Ron believed him and never got a chance to know me . I just spend a whole weekend with Brian and Ron and we get a long quite well now

Mike on the other hand has always been. "eehh" with me.. A few years ago he called me Fat, I never forgave him. I dont need to deal with that shit. so Yeah I have been not so nice to him, he was never very nice to me.. and I hardly see him so I dont care.

 

[kaliraksha]

Yay good news! Thanks for the update =)