Bullied

[she]

this gives me the sads and makes me disgusted. i was recently confronted by a girl i went to school with at a party she invited us to at her house... she literally told her friends that i used to throw dirt in her hair and a load of other vile things (i.e. putting cigarette butts in her coke can and telling her to drink up). i felt completely ashamed and nearly cried. i don't remember doing those things

but my partner in crime (she was also at the party) agreed that indeed we had done all those things and more. the person we did this to is knocking on 30's door and has 3 kids herself and this is still something that she thinks about and obviously hurts her! i have no excuse for my actions and just explained to her that i was sorry, we were troubled kids and had no right to do that to her

. she said she not to worry about it, that she was an awkward child and understands since we were all kids.

obv i am NOT the kid i used to be but nonetheless i'm 99% certain that i won't be attending my 10 year reunion, i can't take looking over my shoulder all night!

 

[aeroerin]

I never had any *bad* bullying experiences, though like others I was a loner type for a long time. It took me 'til my second year of college to break out of my bubble!

I have a younger sister, however, who is autistic. When I was in high school and she was in middle school we rode on the same bus, and I'd sometimes overhear kids making fun of her. If I ever heard them, they got a piece of my mind! She's in high school now, and I worry about her getting bullied all the time. I know she's had experiences, because she often refuses to get out of bed the next day so we know something has happened, and it breaks my heart. She's also gotten an iPod stolen from right out of her backpack, but luckily it somehow got tracked down and now it's in police custody pending charges. I want to give a piece of my mind to the person who did that to her!!

But there was one incident on the bus where a girl who I barely knew but was friendly toward was getting picked on, getting trash thrown at her, and being called names, and yet I didn't do anything. That still weighs on me today. We became somewhat better friends after that point and I remember telling her how sorry I was that I didn't try to stop things. But that still doesn't make up for the fact that I was complicit in the bullying by doing nothing.

I hope you know that there are people who care about you and don't want to see you hurt because of this. I definitely echo the advice of seeing a counselor; that did so much for me. Hope things look up!

 

[banana1234]

hopefully the lovely girls on specktra can boost your confidence a bit! no bullying on here!

i cant offer much advice as i wasnt personally bullied at school, but i'm glad to see so many girls respond and offer their experiences and advice

 

[GoldenFairy]

People that call others ugly are actually ugly on the inside.

 

[Nieriel]

Quote:

Originally Posted by sparklemint But you can gain something from being in that position. It has made me more consious about how I treat others, because I know how much it hurts. You can also use it as a motivator in a way. It motivates me to work harder, sort of like a "I'll show them" type of attitude. Sure it's a little immature, lol, but there's a type of satisfaction that comes with proving people who doubt you wrong.

I agree with this. I was bullied (not as bad as some of you though) for being chubby when I was little. I was also doing martial arts but I still remained short and chubby so I got nicknames like Piggy, Giggy, Piggy-Wiggy and so on. Anyway I entered puberty later than others since I was younger and in few months that weight went away and I grew a lot taller but the nicknames stayed and the hatered for my body along with it.
Because of that, like Sparklemint, I worked harder and achieved more than those that mocked at me (some of them even got fat themselves).
It took me a looooong time to accept my body but I managed to do it when I had some health issues and realized that my body is perfect the way it is...healthy.
I also learned something valuable from this experience and that is to learn to love people for who they are and appreciate them. I learned that there are no ugly people just mean and bitter people.

What gives me the satisfaction is being able to leave all that behind and head forward towards my goal. It took me years but I managed to do it and I'm proud of it

Try talking to a councelor, I did as well and it helped.
I wish you best of luck /hugz

 

[InspiredBlue]

This reminded me of something I read on Jezebel recently: The Lessons My Bullies Taught Me - Bullying - Jezebel

 

[Karen_B]

It is very saddening and upsetting to hear about these awful stories of bullying.

My experiences were never as bad as metal_romantic's, but I did have an extremely manipulative "friend" from age 7 to 14. She would always stab me in the back, make fun of me (like, go through my personal things, find my diary and then read it out loud and laugh about it with others), she even wanted to drive a wedge between me and my Dad - and I was terrified of telling her to go to hell because she always said that if I did, she'd turn the rest of the class against me and then I'd really be bullied.

I understand the need for a reason why, but like someone said there probably isn't one. This girl probably chose me as her target because I was a child who had trouble standing up for herself. Also, her personal issues probably played into it as well, her father had died when she was very young and her mother wasn't coping entirely well with that. But exactly why she kept on doing this to me I will never know. My guess is she doesn't even know why. The kids that picked on metal_romantic probably don't know why they did it either.

Some form of counseling or therapy is a good idea. The pain of these experiences needs to be acknowledged and dealt with, but it also comes down to how much longer these bullies should have the power over your life. By seeing a therapist it might be possible to let the past go.

 

[marusia]

I can definitely relate...and while I may get bashed for saying this, I've found that looking them up on myspace/facebook helps. Most of them are now fat, ugly, and going nowhere in life.

 

[effboysinthebut]

Quote:

Originally Posted by marusia I can definitely relate...and while I may get bashed for saying this, I've found that looking them up on myspace/facebook helps. Most of them are now fat, ugly, and going nowhere in life.

You forgot balding. Or ugly gfs/wives. People bully because of their own insecurities. It's not anything the bullied person does or is.

I was always quiet in high school, kept to myself. My senior year we went on a trip to DC and one of the nastiest girls in school brought a mini bar, which if caught (she was a closet drunk) we would have all been stuck in our hotel rooms the entire trip. So. I said something. I admitted it was me, and of course that put a giant red target on my back. The trip up there only a couple people would talk to me. Which was a horrible feeling, but I knew I did the right thing. She would give me hateful looks, talk about me, and even threatened to beat me up the last day of school. She never even came to school that day.

Fast forward to now. When I would see her, she would be nicer. I also went on her Myspace and found out that she thought she should apply at MAC. I was working at MAC at the time.

In some way karma comes to get them. You might know about it, but sometime in life they haven't gotten something they really wanted.

 

[SUMM3RxBABii]

I'm so glad you made this topic, really. I think I have been bullied since the 7th grade, when I entered JHS. Hated it and I hate high school. Thank God it's my last year. I think some people are just pure disgusting on the inside. Like, I don't even know where these people learn to be like that. Like you, I was physically abused in JHS..a boy actually shoved me to the wall and threw a heavy pen at me..I could've died. The moment I started experiencing all that bullying, I knew I was in reality...all those stories in magazines I used to read about, was my reality. And the hardest part is that, some people who I really can't stand, some bullies, people actually like them. It makes me mad, especially when they're 2-faced.

But you know, the good thing about this is that when you grow up, you're gonna look back and you know you've learned something from it. I know I have. The moment I walked in high school, I was like, "I'm never going to be one of those people." and I used it for the better me and some people actually like me and agree with me on these things. It makes me so angry that people in the past have killed themselves because they were constantly bullied and people still haven't learned from it..like they have no moral at all. The world is really coming to an end.