Can I trust him?

[mahreez]

hi kittykat, if he has issues with simple stuff by linking you at facebook, then think about how he'll treat you during the hardtimes and you needed him the most.

if you have to ask, if you can trust him...then most likely you can't. coz if you could, you wouldn't even be asking this question by now. you deserve someone who'd be proud to tell the whole world you're his gf and won't lie to you or treat you like crap.

 

[FiestyFemme]

I'm sorry, KittyKat, that you're having to go through this. Your BF was obviously hiding something very big if he was willing to just throw away your relationship for a FB account. You needed to dump him anyway... he obviously is a loser & cannot be trusted. I know it hurts, but you will be so much better off.

Quote:

Originally Posted by tepa1974 I've saved these replies and I will continue to read them until I muster up the courage to do deep down what I know I need to do, end this relationship and realize that he is not the one for me. I will do it although it is really hard for me. One of the reasons being that he is almost like a father to my son (hasn't seen his father in 6years) and because I had such high hopes for our relationship. I will bite the bullet and do it. I've gone through hell with another man to allow another one to do this crap to me.

Seriously honey, I know it's hard but you sound like you've got things in perspective. Don't let him just pull the wool over your eyes. I've dealt with quite a few lying men, and honestly, it never gets better. It sucks because your child is involved here, but there is a man out there who will not only be a father to your child but an amazing partner to you as well. You (and your child) deserve so much more than this liar and cheater.

 

[nichollecaren]

after reading what both of you have said...even if these guys arent lying, chances are you will never trust them again. Do yourselves a huge favour, and move on. Its funny how the world looks different when your focus is widened.

I could go on and on about the heartache I endured trusting men that didnt deserve it-but I wont. I will say---follow your gut instinct, its what us women have to protect our fragile hearts. That sixth sense for when something simply isnt right.

Recently I learnt, trust is a bus with no brakes. You can stay on it-decide to trust, and move with it. But once you've hopped off, kiss it goodbye. It wont stop for you.

 

[Shimmer]

If you have to ask, you already know the answer.

 

[NutMeg]

He's already broken your trust twice, why would you want to give him a chance to hurt you again? What reasons do you have to believe that he's changed?

 

[Vixxan]

Should you trust him is the wrong question. The right question is should you trust yourself? And the answer is you should always trust yourself. Regardless of what any ma/woman tells you always trust your gut feeling that little voice that tells you that something is wrong. You knew the answer to your question before you asked it maybe you just needed to hear from someone else what you should do. Or maybe you were hoping that we would tell you that you are overreacting so that you could stay with him. You appear to be a very smart person and I think you know that story he told you is just that, a story.

If I was his girlfriend I would very pissed that he attempted to insult my intelligence with such an obvious pack of lies and tall tales.

Run don't walk to the nearest exit!!!! Good luck

 

[RedRibbon]

JUST WORDS? FOOLING AROUND LIKE THEY USED TO DO WHEN THEY WERE TOGETHER?

Get rid of him. Sorry for the caps, my button seems to jam and I get annoyed with it.

You don't talk about golden showers and wanting to hug and kiss someone with whom you have a platonic relationship.

Seems to me that he hasn't really grown up at all, he cheated on you before and is still carrying on as if that behaviour was ok which it clearly isn't.

I doubt he'd be so understanding if he'd found you conversing with your ex like that.

 

[RedRibbon]

Quote:

Originally Posted by KittyKat thank you girls so much for all your words. We talkd again last night. We almost came to an agreement. Then I asked him to delete his fb page...and of course he wouldn't do it. I asked him what happened with the "I'll do anything for you" and he just said it's out of principal. Then I asked him if he can et least add me to his friends and wrtie that he is in a relationship with me, and he wouldn't do it either. He did write he's in a relationship but he would not add me. I asked him why and he said it's because I would flip out if another girl would write to him and he didn't want to listen to that. I asked him if he can trust that will not do that, but he wouldn't. At the end he totaly lost it, said he deleted his acount but that he's dne with me. there must be all sort of crap on there if he was willing to throw everything away just to keep it from me. I'm just so sad, because I never dreamed that he is like this, that he would do something like this. Never.

This bit gets me. If he hasn't added you as a friend I doubt he's changed his status to in a relationship. That smacks of him being greedy again, thinking he can have you and his ex at the same time, I don't see why he wouldn't add you, me and Mr RR are both on facebook and he's listed as in a relationship with me and vice versa but I seldom check his page, I doubt you would check his page every day too, he's just paranoid you will and that you will see what he's really up to in secret.

 

[MaskedBeauty]

Quote:

Originally Posted by KittyKat thank you girls so much for all your words. We talkd again last night. We almost came to an agreement. Then I asked him to delete his fb page...and of course he wouldn't do it. I asked him what happened with the "I'll do anything for you" and he just said it's out of principal. Then I asked him if he can et least add me to his friends and wrtie that he is in a relationship with me, and he wouldn't do it either. He did write he's in a relationship but he would not add me. I asked him why and he said it's because I would flip out if another girl would write to him and he didn't want to listen to that. I asked him if he can trust that will not do that, but he wouldn't. At the end he totaly lost it, said he deleted his acount but that he's dne with me. there must be all sort of crap on there if he was willing to throw everything away just to keep it from me. I'm just so sad, because I never dreamed that he is like this, that he would do something like this. Never.

I'm so sorry.. I know what you're going through. I was with a guy for 3 years when i found out one day he made a myspace and it said he was single (we both agreed not to have any myspace because it only caused problems). I tried everything i could in my power to make the relationship work because I felt like I was a failure if it ended. He wouldnt change his status and wouldnt delete his page. he always blamed it on me that i was flipping out over nothing. And in the same breath he would tell me I was his girlfriend and he loved me. I finally came to realize that it all wasnt worth it anymore and that i deserved better. Its still very hard for me and I still do love him but I know it's whats best for me. So no worries, everything will be ok.

 

[Lapis]

RUN!!!
Don't walk out of that relationship
If he can't even add you to his FB page, that speaks volumes!
You don't need to be with him.

 

[Holy Rapture]

Honestly? I'd never trust a person, let alone a man, who's cheated. Never. Period.

 

[KittyKat]

Thank you girls, all of you,it really means a lot.
Right now I'm at a stage where I don't even want to think about it any more. I've went threw the whole thing over and over inside my head, looking at it from every angle...I'm tired. plus I have to study for my 2 (!!!) last exams at the faculty and start to write my diploma. So yeah, I'm under a lot of stress even without this crap

I don't know what was with me yesterday but I guess it was a BIG mood swing...because all of a sudden I was al optimistic thinking how we could work things out blablabla...today I feel like crap again

we talked yesterday and he said he's really confused because on monday I didn't even want to hear about him and I just cursed at him and then yesterday I was really trying to be nice and just talk like adults, no shouting. I totaly undertsand that he was counfsed about that because I was too.
But we did decide to talk again, in person of course. The thing is, that little voice inside my head keeps telling me that it's not time to go yet. This never happed to me before. I had a guy who cheated on me before him and I left as soon as I found out and never looked back. Because I knew he was bad news and was not the right guy for me. This time it just feels different... I want to hear his side before I do anything. I don't want to look back and feel sorry that I didn't to that. But I did promise myself that if he won't be willing to do EVERYTHING possible for me to trust him again I will leave. because if he can't even to that, then that is not the love I'm looking for.
We will see what happens. I will put my happiness first and stay true to myself...with or without him.

 

[NutMeg]

I think if you could read these words a year or two from now, and then reach back in time and smack yourself now you would. You're being played, and you're not even making it particularly hard for him to do it. Have more respect for yourself.

 

[nichollecaren]

Being played doesnt mean one lacks self respect-shes a young person who clearly cares for this guy-I would call it a mistake.

When we are emotionally involved it is so easy to be deceived. KittyKat do what you have to do hun, as Lapis said..."RUN!" An experience like this will make you a better person, but only if you rise above it. Expect it to hurt, but only for a while.

 

[x0besoz]

i haven't completely read everyone's response but in my own opinion from experiences if you have to question yourself than he's not worth it. it may seem stupid but you are worth much more than how he's treating you. i understand that you have history and love him but look at the situation from the outside as if it was happening to a friend and you'll see things much differently. i wish you the best but stay true to yourself and dont let this man manipulate you anymore than he has

 

[BeccalovesMAC]

if you cant trust them..replace them. You only live once.

 

[Hihi]

Why is he still talking to his ex anyway? If he really cared about you he'd try to understand you

 

[mern]

I'd definatly say that his excuse towards not adding you to facebook and in a relationship "you would flip out if another girl wrote to him"/ Sounds like hes putting the blame on you. What does he have to hide anyways. Sound like bad news to me. Thats exactly what my ex did to me.

 

[snugglebear4now]

Do not trust him!!! Run

 

[christinakate]

I wouldnt trust him. Ive been through that situation. And under no circumstances are words JUST words. He has no right being with you and talking to someone else in that matter. Dont let him hurt you like that again. Your only giving him the power to completely control you because you love him that much. I realize what love can cause you to do, ive been there, many of us have but you dont deserve that. No one does.