Dealing with sexual harassment at work.

[aeni]

Got to work early, set up, got everyone ready, and all without Cliff (my boss - Production Designer - he went and got a moving truck for Phx b/c our trailer "twinkie" broke down). When he got there, I started the sour mood that would last with us for the rest of the day. I was trying to tell him that I couldn't find the tooth coloring - which Bethany (another MA) probably has as well. But he was more interested in making comments about how my Camelback chest strap helped to lift my breasts, then went on and showed me his chest. Finally he listened about the tooth coloring and Clif starts accusing her of stealing (I say forgetfullness) and leaves into the twinkie to work off his anger.

An hour of rehearsal and prep, we break for lunch (breakfast) and this makes Clif angrier. Eric (AD) is hassling him to hurry up to finish the money bags and suddenly all of Clif's help leaves for lunch. So we're all outside eating and 100 ft away is the twinkie with Clif yelling about us and our personal faults. I go over there hearing my name mentioned, and by the time he's done ranting about how I bs and never am on set to work, he turns around and there I am staring at him. He doesn't think of it and continues on someone else and the ethics of work. Saying people here probably already ate and just bs for an hour, etc etc. I know he was stressed, but I just wanted to stay the hell away from him and hoped he'd leave me alone.

He did. Kinda. He came around an hour or so later with lollipops for cast and crew saying he was sorry. I didn't want one, I just wanted to work. Later before dinner (lunch), he came over and sidled next to me and touched my arm. Then proceeded to give me a kiss on my cheek.

That's really crossing my line.

This man is old enough to be my dad or grandpa. And I do not think of him in any paternal way at all. I have some close bonds with the cast b/c I have worked with them before and we've earned trust. This is something I have very little of with Clif.

Around 9 or 10pm, I go and tell the "higher ups" - Erin - about what happened, in tears. She tells Justin (Director). Justin waits till we're wrapped and leaving. I'll find out what happened when we're in Phoenix in 9 hours.

I'm seriously considering a sexual harassment lawsuit simply b/c of common fucking sense.

 

[Sanne]

I moved the thread to chatter, you'll probably get more reactions here.


I'm so sorry to hear this!!! your boss souns like an *sshole!

 

[singinmys0ng]

I'm so sorry you have to go through that. Hopefully the people you work with will say something to him and (maybe even beat his ass) so he'll stop all that bs. I hope the best for you *hugs*

 

[Shawna]

A similar thing happened to me with a co-worker. He kept trying to kiss me under the mistletoe at xmas. I got po'ed and told our boss. He was horrified and maintained that he was just joking around and didn't mean anything by it. The dumb thing was that both of us were married and not to each other. It may not have been the big deal I made of it, but the fact that it made me uncomfortable at work was a big deal to me. Is there a higher up you can talk to about it? Or maybe next time he tries something, could you make a comment like "Gee, my dad liked this shirt too. Aren't you about his age?" Or "Gee, my dad kisses me on my cheek too. Aren't you from his era?" Sometimes it helps to diffuse the situation without getting you into trouble. It may give the *#!hole a warning to back off without you having to tell him directly to back off. It sucks to be a woman sometimes. We shouldn't have to deal with this crap. Let us know what happens. We're here for you.

 

[mac_obsession]

When I worked, @ about 18 I worked for a sleazeball and he always had his sleazeball friends hanging around. I did a lot of management work, a lot of dealing with customers, and phone work, and they always non stop would try to get me to do phonesex...Every day it was non-stop commenting on how "sexy" my voice was, cause I sound like a kid, and how they would just die for a shot at it with me,..
I talked to my boss who was a pig, and then his sister who helped him run the company. Neither of them paid me any mind, and I finally quit...
There are some people you can try to work things out with, and others that are just morons. If you think that something can be done without Ruining YOUR career then do it, and its sad to say, but it may ruin you if you do and it doesnt go in your favor. I mean no one should talk, touch or treat you that way EVER, but the world is a Mans run world, not a females, and they emphasize that in every context they can.
Not one man alive knows what its like to be a woman in a mans run world, nor do they know what its like to be treated like a piece of meat.

Be careful, be safe and be cautious how you approach it if you do intend to push further. Hopefully he will back off, but it sounds like hes an asshole who just wants to take his anger out on anyone around you, and then gets all touchy feely when he knows he was wrong.

I wish you the best of luck

 

[foreveratorifan]

good luck hon! its great that you reported it to higher ups and if things don't change or get taken care of, maybe a lawsuit is in order! because its obvious he's doing this to other women as well, and that's just wrong!

hang in there, and fight for the respect you deserve!

 

[MACgirl]

sorry to hear aobut this, def should get this case heard loudly!!, its sux we as women suffer these kind of things, we've come far but obviously some men still think of us as just sex objects. While we cant change thier minds we can def make them know that we wont be silenced.

 

[aeni]

The director talked to him about it apparently. His sister - the writer - told me Clif did this to her too and that's just how he is. But they were taking care of it.

He did give me a hug again after I had to hair and makeup 5 women in 3 hours for "all the good work". That didn't bother me simply b/c I was so hassled and in charge that day.

I won't be back at work until next Thurs/Fri when we wrap. If anything more happens, you'll know.

 

[nphernetton]

Hmmm....This is really interesting and kind of disheartening...."its how he is" is no excuse. I'm going to type a lot...maybe more than I should in your personal case, but who knows, it may help someone else. This is a serious matter that people should pay more attention to...heck, look how many people responded with their own stories..

Take a serial killer (this example is blown WAY out of proportion, I know, but its to make my point), say he kills 32 people over a 12 year period. He then decides to get a 33rd target. This person manages to escape. Imagine if she went to the police with all of his info and instead of punishing this killer they told her "Ohh, he's killed a lot of people in the past, it's just how he is." That does not make it right.

Most companies have some kind of harassment policy, and there are also federal laws and state laws to protect individuals.

Basic info on federal law - Federal law covers employees whose employers have 15+ employees. So, if you are working for a person or company that employs 15+ people, you are protected from sexual harassment in the workplace by FEDERAL law.

Most states have additional laws in place for extra protection and protection for individuals working for employers who have 15 or less employees.

Quid pro quo harassment is harassment in which a higher-up (supervisor, anyone who has the ability to directly affect your job...ie pay, fire you, promote you, etc) makes unwelcome advances on an employee. Say an employee complies or does not complain about the harassment, this DOES NOT make it consensual. If it was unwelcome, you may have gone along with it in fear or losing your job or something like that...In these quid pro quo cases (supervisor harassing employee), one single incident can be considered harassment. If it is a fellow employee (someone who can not directly affect your job, ie pay etc), there generally needs to be a pattern of behavior, from you, you can have others as witnesses/people he's harassed also, etc, not just one single incident.

If harassment continues after you've confided in someone, the best thing to do is keep a journal and every time something happens/every time you report it, write it down in detail! Write WHY it made you uncomfortable. Write down if it's happening to others. Once you establish the behavioral pattern, you can take it to an employment discrimination lawyer.

Also be aware - and this is something a lot of people dont realize - that you can NOT be punished by your employer if you file charges based on sexual harassment. If you make any kind of charges against a coworker, supervisor, president of the company, whatever and they retaliate by firing you/docking your pay/demoting you/docking your hours/etc...that is ILLEGAL. You can file suit against them for discrimination. If this were to happen, you'd want to file with the EEOC (equal employment oppurtunity commision) immediately!

Ok, I AM at work and have spent more time than I should right NOW typing this up, but I hope this is usefull to someone...Fact of the matter is you dont have to tolerate it even if others have. I have a lot more info I can give you, so please if anyone has any questions feel free to PM me. Sexual harassment/abuse/etc of ANY kind is something I feel very passionately about and I'd love to help out in any way I can.

Aeni- I hope you've gotten your situation resolved...good luck regardless, and like I said I'm more than willing to help any way I can.