Do you still have feelings for your ex?
- Thread starter killbill23
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1165Cheryl
Well-known member
How long ago was your first love?
For me there is 1 person I will always love. It's a love I never thought possible nor did they, the story book kind. It's not stopping me anymore from loving again, too me no 2 loves are the same. My love for them did get in the way of relationships for many years, I couldnt stop myself from comparing my feelings. It took years too get over it but it's been a long time now and am greatful I was able to experience that depth of love. During the years of pain I didnt always think that way, lol, but after time I realized how special and rare it was. My friends would always say they'd be happy to feel 1/2 the love that we did. Im currently single by choice but do hope to fall in love in the future and settle down.
For me there is 1 person I will always love. It's a love I never thought possible nor did they, the story book kind. It's not stopping me anymore from loving again, too me no 2 loves are the same. My love for them did get in the way of relationships for many years, I couldnt stop myself from comparing my feelings. It took years too get over it but it's been a long time now and am greatful I was able to experience that depth of love. During the years of pain I didnt always think that way, lol, but after time I realized how special and rare it was. My friends would always say they'd be happy to feel 1/2 the love that we did. Im currently single by choice but do hope to fall in love in the future and settle down.
Brittni
Well-known member
Quote:
I totally agree. I have truly "fallen" for two guys, though I've had plenty of boyfriends. First was my true/only love, in highschool (didn't go to mine) and my bestfriend kind of coaxed me into breaking up with him my senior year. I often wonder if that wouldn't have happened if we'd still be together... We met online (on a game, not a dating site lol), I won't lie, and we did meet in person when I was 16 and got my liscenes but it was set up safely. I don't regret it. I've always been mature for my age. I think meeting online is almost better and wish I had time for it again randomly because it makes you truly get to know someone and the ability to push limits of testing waters joking and whatnot. But um anyways, he's STILL with the girl he started dating after me. So I just wonder a lot if that could've been me and how different of a person myself and he would be - because he hasn't gone very far since.
And the second guy I fell hard for, but not in love with, wasn't even a year ago. He attends the same university as me so lately we've been running into each other at house parties or I saw him at the gym the other day. It's akward because we don't talk but I still wonder if there's some chance or sign going on there.
I think that "love" finds you when you aren't looking for it. I don't look for the people I truly fall for. and I usually now days refuse to date someone unless I have that "instant chemistry" of feeling completely comfortable and joking and just hitting it off like I had with the two aforementioned... So I have issues "holding on" I feel and my wishes are more of wonders and what if's...
I think sometimes people are in love with the thought of being in love rather than actually being in love with that person.
Originally Posted by LoveMU
i think about my ex a lot, i wish i could meet someone i felt the same way about. I can go out with a lot of different guys but I only really really like a guy once in a great while. It is so rare to find someone I really like so it takes a while to get over one when I do. 
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I totally agree. I have truly "fallen" for two guys, though I've had plenty of boyfriends. First was my true/only love, in highschool (didn't go to mine) and my bestfriend kind of coaxed me into breaking up with him my senior year. I often wonder if that wouldn't have happened if we'd still be together... We met online (on a game, not a dating site lol), I won't lie, and we did meet in person when I was 16 and got my liscenes but it was set up safely. I don't regret it. I've always been mature for my age. I think meeting online is almost better and wish I had time for it again randomly because it makes you truly get to know someone and the ability to push limits of testing waters joking and whatnot. But um anyways, he's STILL with the girl he started dating after me. So I just wonder a lot if that could've been me and how different of a person myself and he would be - because he hasn't gone very far since.
And the second guy I fell hard for, but not in love with, wasn't even a year ago. He attends the same university as me so lately we've been running into each other at house parties or I saw him at the gym the other day. It's akward because we don't talk but I still wonder if there's some chance or sign going on there.
I think that "love" finds you when you aren't looking for it. I don't look for the people I truly fall for. and I usually now days refuse to date someone unless I have that "instant chemistry" of feeling completely comfortable and joking and just hitting it off like I had with the two aforementioned... So I have issues "holding on" I feel and my wishes are more of wonders and what if's...
I think sometimes people are in love with the thought of being in love rather than actually being in love with that person.
*Gigi*
Active member
My ex husband and I met when I was 18, got married when I was 20, seperated when i was 24, and finally divorced when I was 26. We had a very turbulant relationship, and were no good for each other, but we still had this attraction to each other that made things hard to let go. We have a daughter too, so we will always be in each other's life. We get along great now that we aren't together, and I have a great relationship with a man who loves me very much now. but none the less, he will always have a itty bitty, teeny tiny place in my heart, as much as I hate to admit it!
1165Cheryl
Well-known member
Quote:
I totally agree with you Brittni, my true love happened out of the blue, I wasnt looking for him or anyone, I was happy being single.
With my ex we would know when something happened to each other. For example he got into a motorcycle accident and I knew, I felt it. Or me and a friend would be at the mall or somewhere and I'd say "he's here". She would say where and I'd say wait..and 5 minutes later he'd walk around the corner. That stuff happened all the time with us. We could feel each other's energy..now everyone is probably thinking I'm nuts, lol.
Now, like you when I meet someone it's about the inner connection/chemistry. Not a physical chemistry (that does need to be there too) but like we've know each other all our lives....it's hard to explain. If I'm single for the rest of my life I'm ok with that but if I meet a person with that connection then I'd welcome it
| Originally Posted by Brittni
I think that "love" finds you when you aren't looking for it. I don't look for the people I truly fall for. and I usually now days refuse to date someone unless I have that "instant chemistry" of feeling completely comfortable and joking and just hitting it off I think sometimes people are in love with the thought of being in love rather than actually being in love with that person. |
I totally agree with you Brittni, my true love happened out of the blue, I wasnt looking for him or anyone, I was happy being single.
With my ex we would know when something happened to each other. For example he got into a motorcycle accident and I knew, I felt it. Or me and a friend would be at the mall or somewhere and I'd say "he's here". She would say where and I'd say wait..and 5 minutes later he'd walk around the corner. That stuff happened all the time with us. We could feel each other's energy..now everyone is probably thinking I'm nuts, lol.
Now, like you when I meet someone it's about the inner connection/chemistry. Not a physical chemistry (that does need to be there too) but like we've know each other all our lives....it's hard to explain. If I'm single for the rest of my life I'm ok with that but if I meet a person with that connection then I'd welcome it
couturesista
Well-known member
Yes, all 3 of them, for different reasons. All of my exes played an important role in my life. They made me who I am today, for the better or for the worse. So no matter what happened, they all hold a place in my heart.
kaliraksha
Well-known member
I can honestly say I don't. I care about them as people and wish them the best in life and given the opportunity I could talk to either of them as friends, and I have before. I've always been the kind of ex-gf that wants to stay friends and makes it an effort to not avoid them. Granted, I've also had relatively easy going breakups. But, I'm grateful I don't have actual feelings because it just makes things less complicated.
iio
Well-known member
I do think about my exes...like what are they doing now? are they married? have kids?
I dont have any LOVE for them even though I did at once. I only care about one...He was my very first bf from 8th grade till Freshman year. I felt that I went through so much with him even though we were so so young! We learned a lot from each other and had our fun times together and with our friends. So when I think about him I only hope for the best.
Then my last ex whom I just broke up with last year...bleh I cringe when I see pics of us or when someone mentions his name or a persons name like his...We were together for 3 years. It was great in the first year then it became dull. It was like "Ground Hog Day" with Bill Murray. Everyday was the same...he was predictable. I didnt go out with my friends at all. I had to call him after I took a shower, used the bathroom, or after I ate or else he would be "where were you?" "what took you so long?" etc etc. Then after we broke it up...just all of a sudden I was this horrible person he was saying that I was immature and he had a higher maturity level than me, he told my parents about my sexual experiences. And that I trusted him to keep to himself...talk about maturity! He wanted to take my family out to dinner after I broke up with him! He was buying things for my brother and ugh he wouldnt go away for awhile.
Every now and then he would send me cards but I cant stand how he could say crap about me then turn around and try to be all sweet. Although I can never forget him I definitely do not miss him one bit.
I dont have any LOVE for them even though I did at once. I only care about one...He was my very first bf from 8th grade till Freshman year. I felt that I went through so much with him even though we were so so young! We learned a lot from each other and had our fun times together and with our friends. So when I think about him I only hope for the best.
Then my last ex whom I just broke up with last year...bleh I cringe when I see pics of us or when someone mentions his name or a persons name like his...We were together for 3 years. It was great in the first year then it became dull. It was like "Ground Hog Day" with Bill Murray. Everyday was the same...he was predictable. I didnt go out with my friends at all. I had to call him after I took a shower, used the bathroom, or after I ate or else he would be "where were you?" "what took you so long?" etc etc. Then after we broke it up...just all of a sudden I was this horrible person he was saying that I was immature and he had a higher maturity level than me, he told my parents about my sexual experiences. And that I trusted him to keep to himself...talk about maturity! He wanted to take my family out to dinner after I broke up with him! He was buying things for my brother and ugh he wouldnt go away for awhile.
Every now and then he would send me cards but I cant stand how he could say crap about me then turn around and try to be all sweet. Although I can never forget him I definitely do not miss him one bit.
Dr_Girlfriend
Well-known member
I only have one ex that I genuinely still care for. Only because I learned a lot about myself when we were together. We occasionally email back and forth. I really would have liked to stay good friends but his wife is incredibly insecure and jealous. I had to put a stop to it because he was calling me at work and eventually stopped by to see me. That wouldn't have been a problem had his wife not been out of town for 2 weeks. To me, that's unfair to her. I care enough about him to not talk to him because it would hurt his marriage. My husband never cared that I talked to him because we both completely trust each other. We have no secrets.
Edit to add:
This particular relationship was VERY passionate. We loved hard and fought even harder. We were also young (me 17 and him 19). Had we not met when we were so immature, it may have worked out to be just lovely. But, I wouldn't be where I am today if it weren't for him. There will always be a part of me that loves him. I just love my husband 1,000,000 times more!
Edit to add:
This particular relationship was VERY passionate. We loved hard and fought even harder. We were also young (me 17 and him 19). Had we not met when we were so immature, it may have worked out to be just lovely. But, I wouldn't be where I am today if it weren't for him. There will always be a part of me that loves him. I just love my husband 1,000,000 times more!
Amber*Christine
Well-known member
Well I've dated around a bit but I've only had two serious relationships, the first of course was my first love and to this day I adore him and would probably be with him today had it not been a long distance thing and us being soo young, we still communicate from time to time and the affection is still there for both of us...but so is the distance. The second was with someone who loved me more than I loved him, but ironically he ended up leaving me. It ended badly and unfortunetly I still have feelings for him, maybe they will die, maybe they'll be around forever, dunno.
PolyphonicLove
Well-known member
I'm happily engaged, but I do miss the ex sometimes. But I know that he was not the one for me, and I'm glad things ended when they did before they progressed.
