Does being 'put together' make you feel better?

[cno64]

I know a woman who does have many difficulties in her life, such as financial problems, potentially crippling health issues, single parenthood and elderly parents who depend on her.
Understandably, this woman is often obviously "down," and I don't blame her.
She dresses in unflattering "old woman" clothes, and doesn't seem to make much, if any, effort with her hair and makeup.
While, as I said, I don't blame this woman a bit for feeling overwhelmed, and probably not considering her appearance a top priority, it would depress me further to go around looking this way. Of course, I wouldn't dream of offering this woman advice or trying to give her a "makeover," unless she requested it.
I'm now45, disabled (in a wheelchair) from a massive cerebral hemorrhage I had when I was 36, and it makes me feel more upbeat and more "normal" to wear nice and up-to-date though practical clothes, deftly applied (I've still got one hand that works!) and modern ( about 80% MAC) makeup, coordinating accessories and styled hair. I also try to keep my skin looking as good as humanly possible.
Am I strange in this way?

I also wear [soft] contact lenses. While in the hospital, I wore my glasses all the time, for convenience, but once on the "outside," it was back to contacts!
They're not easy to manage with one hand, but I do it.

 

[Asela88]

Your def not strange..I agree with you..I know personally if I take the time to get ready I feel better about myself then when i dont have any makeup on and my hairs a mess and im in sweatpants.

 

[TISH1124]

I think that is the case with anyone....pretty much if you look better you feel better...

 

[Lauren1981]

i don't think that makes you strange.
i actually applaud you for doing what you do. it makes me more upbeat also to look good and take care of myself
however,
everyone is different. she may just not be ready to come around yet. she may not feel like she has the time or she might just not be "there" yet. she might not be able to do the things that actually make her happy.
sometimes we get into ruts. maybe that's where she's at.
i've been in one where i didn't give a sh*t about anything i had on, my hair, nothing. and then you just come out of them. she might be searching for other things to make her happy and keep her "upbeat"

 

[lulabelle]

self care is so important. regardless of what's going on in your life, you've gotta make time for #1!
for some people it may be expressed in different ways, but it is perfectly reasonable for one to take good care of their physical appearance! especially if it helps give them a self-esteem or energy boost.

I hope that she is at least doing something else to nurture herself!

 

[M.A.C. head.]

You're so not strange...or maybe you are...but you're surrounded by people who are just as strange here on this site, you'll be okay haha

I definitely feel MUCH better when I "put my face on". Even just foundation is a pick-me-up for me. I love to put on make up, do my hair, dress, accessorize. It just makes me feel good inside to take care of myself on the outside, and it goes the other way as well.

 

[User38]

Thank you for sharing. I had a very critical health issue which kept me in a wheelchair for over 3 months. I excercised and got my health back.. and am in decent shape now although about 15 lbs. over my desired weight due to lack of serious excercise.

I don't think you are in anyway strange... strange to me are those who have never had any troubles and yet don't enjoy life to it's fullest. And women who don't enjoy their femininity usually wind up being a bit hard on anyone who does. I know that I personally have saved a lot of money by using my makeup to feel better -- I would have given it to shrinks..lol.

You are doing great.. enjoy and be well.. life is way too short not to enjoy it

 

[cno64]

Quote:

Originally Posted by HerGreyness You are doing great.. enjoy and be well.. life is way too short not to enjoy it

Thank you for the words of encouragement.
I'm sure there are those who would wonder why a "handicap" would bother to "doll up," but I soo enjoy doing it!
I enjoyed "styling myself" when I was able-bodied, so that's an element of the "old me" that I've retained, and it really does help my morale.
There are worse ways of coping ...
As for the "sad sack" woman of whom I wrote at the beginning of this thread, she's really just an acquaintance, so I have little idea what's going on in her head. My mother jokingly suggested, "Maybe you should get her some MAC; then she won't ever think about anything else!"

 

[TISH1124]

Handicapped people are no less beautiful than people who are not...we all like to feel good about ourselves despite our obstacles...you are no different and you deserve to feel good and look good!! Keep wearing your beautiful makeup!! Maybe give her a nice gloss or something it may be a start and spark the girlie side in her...If not I'm sure just the thought will make her feel good.
Girl + makeup= perfect Combination

 

[BEA2LS]

i always feel 100% better when i am put together, i am confident, awake, alert, it changes everything.
that said i had a lifelong struggle with depression and it is often too much to get out of bed, take a shower and brush my hair. on those days make up is out of the question.. and i do feel bad about this (believe me, comments are made, too!) but it is what it is..

 

[s0_fam0us]

I sort of agree. Honestly, I feel best when I've got my face/hair all nicey nice... and I'm in sweatpants. LOL

I know it's weird, and I know some people HATE the people who go out in sweats (and I'm a fan of wearing them with Uggs, too... ahaha), but it's comfortable, and I reaaaally don't care that other people look at me funny. It's not an all the time thing, and I do own a lot of really nice clothes... I just wish it was more socially acceptable to wear sweatpants everywhere. haha...

 

[cno64]

Quote:

Originally Posted by BEA2LS i always feel 100% better when i am put together, i am confident, awake, alert, it changes everything. that said i had a lifelong struggle with depression and it is often too much to get out of bed, take a shower and brush my hair. on those days make up is out of the question.. and i do feel bad about this (believe me, comments are made, too!) but it is what it is..

Realistically, there are times when health issues make getting yourself "pulled together" downright impossible.
I haven't struggled with depression the way you have, but certainly in the weeks and months following my massive cerebral hemorrhage, the very last thing I cared about was my appearance.
I'm just fortunate to be blessed with the emotional resilience to, once I started feeling better physically, regain my status as "The Makeup Queen."
It became a cycle: The better I felt, the more energy I had to devote to self care; the better I looked, the better I felt ...
It doesn't work that way for everybody, though.

 

[leenybeeny]

I feel so much better when I dress up a little.. even if it means a nice pair of jeans and a cute tshirt as opposed to sweats. Also, putting on makeup makes me feel refreshed and sunny. So I don't think you are off base at all! It is much harder to do those thigns when you're feeling down though.

You said you aren't very close with this lady.. but maybe you could suggest hanging out and having a 'girls night'.. and you can show her your makeup and offer to make her up for fun.. it may make her feel great..

 

[cno64]

Quote:

Originally Posted by s0_fam0us I know some people HATE the people who go out in sweats

I certainly don't hate people who go everywhere wearing sweats; I guess it's just that I don't relate to them very well, any more than I can relate to an "I don't like makeup and never wear the stuff!" person.
I've just always been very fastidious about my appearance; putting myself "together" is fun for me, and I just can't imagine *not* doing it.

 

[SparklingWaves]

Yes, I feel that getting a nice shower, fixing my hair, and wearing make up does help my outlook.

Also, I know people too that say they are too old, busy, etc. to "put themselves together". Sometimes, I think that's depression talking or some other sort of physical illness. It takes a good bit of energy to get dressed and put a look together. When you are healthy, it's no problem.

Believe me, I could relate to not being able to get that energy level up. Fortunately, I am able to do it a bit more lately. I am extremely grateful for anything that I can do for myself. I don't want to take that for granted.

 

[ashk36]

I definitely have a completely different personality when I feel like I look good than when I know I'm a mess. I am so broken out right now, and I realized last night when I went to the grocery store without any makeup that I pretty much avoid eye contact, keep my head down, and try my best to avoid talking to people. When I've got makeup on, I've got my head up and a hop in my step, smile more at strangers, and will make random conversation with people. So I definitely feel better when I'm put together.

 

[Mizz.Coppertone]

yes. i feel just about 99% better all dolled up lol.

sometimes i feel good totally natural but most days i dont. atleast not in front of people that i don't know. i like to make a good first impression on people and i feel like i can't unless i'm wearing full makeup,hair, and a nice outfit.

 

[trendoid]

Being put together helps me so much!

I suffer from chronic pain and so often, people will tell me that I don't "look" sick. That just annoys me. The reason I don't look sick is because I don't want to look sick! Looking better makes me feel better. It really helps my confidence level to put on some lipstick, have my hair and nails done and dress nicely.

 

[cno64]

Quote:

Originally Posted by trendoid Being put together helps me so much! I suffer from chronic pain and so often, people will tell me that I don't "look" sick. That just annoys me. The reason I don't look sick is because I don't want to look sick! Looking better makes me feel better. It really helps my confidence level to put on some lipstick, have my hair and nails done and dress nicely.

I don't blame you a bit for feeling annoyed!
I realize that the people who insist that you "don't look sick" intend to compliment you on the fact that you look good, in spite of your condition, and *I* admire you for that, too!

However, telling you that you "don't look sick" implies "I don't believe there is anything wrong with you; you must be imagining it all!"
I think it would be more tactful if these people said something like, "Wow, you look wonderful; good for you for not giving up on your appearance, in spite of your pain!"
[Sort of]back to topic: While I think we've pretty well established the fact that looking good gives one's morale a lift, it can work the other way, too.
People used to tell me pretty often that I looked "tired," even when I wasn't.
When that happened, I could feel myself deflate; I'd think, "Maybe if I look so awful, I should have just stayed home."
The funny thing is, now that I'm 45 and disabled, I never hear "You look tired ..." anymore, and sometimes I am!

And there's the doctor who insisted, even when I had on no makeup (while in the hospital), "You don't look sick enough to have appendicitis!"
I had to have an emergency appendectomy hours later.
End of ramble.

 

[crystalclear]

I think a lot of women feel much better wearing makeup and having their hair/nails etc done. I actually read an article in a magazine recently about how actually applying make up to yourself is beneficial as you sit still, focus and breathe better whilst you're concentrating on your face. In the UK actually run make up classes for women being treated for cancer as it is shown to have at least some benefit psychologically, even if not physically.
If nothing else women have been wearing 'makeup' in some form or other for thousands of years (I think it was a status thing and also the colours make people happy) and probably will do for thousands of years to come.
Personally, I feel like hell if I done wear any and since the age of 15 have gone out completely bare faced about 6 or 7 times (one of my long time friends didn't realise I have freckles until we went to the gym recently and I took my makeup off) and I dont think I'd go out without my "face" by choice.