Engagement/Wedding rings: who picks 'em?

[MAC_Pixie04]

Quote:

Originally Posted by redambition my SO let me design my own... then he got all princess on me and stipulated the side stones (it's a three stone ring) HAD to be pink diamonds. i would have been happy with whatever. well. we travelled to the other side of the country to try and find diamonds because we couldn't get what we wanted in Sydney. turns out we couldn't get what we wanted full stop, so we made a hurried decision to cut our losses and change the design, bought the stones and brought them home. he was sadder than i was about that he still got the pinks for the side stones though, they were just a different cut. the ring is currently being made, it will be ready in about three weeks! yay! he then has to ask me properly - that's the bit i'm being princess about. i thought it was really sweet of him to include me in the designing and the choices, and also nice that he made sure that part of it was his input. it's a ring that we put together together, as a symbol of the life we want to share together.

How sweet! It's really cute that he put such an effort into building you your own custom, beautiful ring. You're a very lucky girl =)

 

[yodagirl]

I picked mine out (it was a gorgeous ring I had my eye on forever lol)...My sole reasoning in picking my own ring out instead of being suprised had much to do with my fiancee having AWFUL taste in jewelry...or at least jewelry I like lol. Our first Christmas together, he went and bought the tackiest, biggest ring I had ever owned in my life (I'm not too big on rings to begin with and rarely wear them)...Of course, I wore it everyday for about a month to let the 'new' wear off...now it sits with my three gillion other rings in my jewelry box. I decided from that moment, that when we got married I would be picking the ring out lol

 

[Heiaken]

Here in Finland I think it's more common for the couple to choose engagement/wedding rings together and I don't see nothing wrong wiht that, it's just pragmatic. I for one am very picky about jewelry and allthough my bf knows me really well and knows what I like I still would not trust him to get me a ring that I'm going to wear every day for the rest of my life on his own. When we got engaged we went together to the jewel shop and picked out the rings that we found appealing (and affordable because at that time we both were students..). One other thing to consider is that when you go pick the rings together that's when you know you definately will get a ring that fits, that's not too small or too big.

 

[liv]

I think it's becoming more and more the norm for couples to pick out rings together. I'm not anywhere near getting engaged, but my sister recently got married, and her and my brother in law picked it out together. She got a 3 stone ring with a princess diamond for the center, and two smaller princess cut diamonds on the sides in white gold.

For myself, I've already decided I want a vintage ring. My favorite diamond ring I've ever seen is my grandma's ring from her first husband, and it has the most unique setting I've ever seen. Her then-fiance designed it, and I could only describe it as a "portrait" setting, as in, there are no prongs, it is set like you would frame a picture. I don't think it would be considered pave, either. It also has some beading and filigree work. It's dainty and delicate and exactly what I want for myself. I don't really care about the size of the diamond, it's all about the setting for me. I dislike all pronged settings, I don't know why, but just something about them irks me. I've already told my mother that if I don't go shopping with my future fiance, she is going in my place, because we have very similar tastes in jewelry.

/novel

 

[TDoll]

I don't think there is a right or wrong way. I think that its perfectly fine to do what you guys did! Especially since you said it was such a special experience.

My husband and I had talked about getting married for a while, and he asked me some basic questions about what I liked, like the shape of the stone and whatnot. Then he went and did it completely on his own. I had no idea when he was going to do it or that he had even bought a ring at all. He was really smooth about it...lol. Anyway, the ring was perfect and I love it. We were engaged for a year and a half and about 4 months before the wedding, we went together and picked out our wedding bands together which was fun. It was cool because while I was totally surprised with the engagement ring, we were able to have the experience of picking out our bands together. My engagement ring is really unique. It's a very high-set square diamond with pave diamonds all over the band and on the sides. So it was hard to find one that matched and didn't completely cover up the side diamonds. We found the perfect one(s). Same pave design on the sides and they were angled so it didn't cover up the other diamonds completely on the engagement ring. If that makes sense. But it was fun...and he ended up getting me 2 of the same ones! He gave me the other band on our first Valentines day together which fell on our honeymoon. It was such a positive experience all around.

I think everyone has their own story and has an experience that is unique and right for them. There's definitely no right or wrong way.

 

[redambition]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MAC_Pixie04 How sweet! It's really cute that he put such an effort into building you your own custom, beautiful ring. You're a very lucky girl =)

thank you!

being involved in the process can be a lot of fun and also bring you closer together. i think it's a good way to do it.

 

[florabundance]

congratulations!!! your soon to be fiance sounds like a sweetheart

As for the proposal/ring thing, in my culture things are done a little differently. When the guy and girl decide they wanna get married (or when the guy asks the girl whatever), the male and his family (father, mother, brother, aunts, uncles - depends who you're close to) visit the girl and her family and "ask" for her to be welcomed into a new family etc. Then when that little ceremony is done it's up to the couple to go out, buy rings and the family organise the engagement party.

I like it that way, being able to choose together. For one thing, I know i'm picky as hell, but also, i'd probably like our rings to match or be distinctively similar in some way.

 

[MAC_Pixie04]

Last night when we were there, there was a newly engaged couple and both of their parents with them selecting their rings. I thought that was pretty interesting. I wouldn't want my parents around while I select my rings, especially my bf's mom. She'd be yelling about how much things cost, and picking out yellow gold rings with pear settings--my worst nightmare!

I guess he already told her he picked out my ring, and she said she was really happy for us, but then goes "You shouldn't have done that. I would have given you grandma's old wedding ring so you wouldn't have to spend any money!" Umm...no thank you lol Giving an antique ring shouldn't be an issue of saving money.

 

[Renee]

My husband picked out my ring all by himself and it's a gorgeous princess solitaire set in platinum. he doesn't like flashy rings and I knew that so I wasn't surprised to see what he had picked out. As for my wedding band I got to pick it out, a platinum band of diamonds. it matches perfectly.He got a titanium band that he picked out. I love to read about everyone's rings!

 

[MACandie2012]

me and my fiance picked my engagement ring and band 2gether

 

[Chikky]

I'm not married, nor engaged and may never be... But I much prefer that he pick it out on his own. I actually have zero interest in going to shop for something like that, for myself, for that particular function. I'd much rather be surprised.

 

[Blushbaby]

Over the weekend my boyf and I were talking about getting engaged and the sort of wedding we'll have and I emailed him a few links of rings I liked, which he really liked. I was waiting for him to choke on his Cherry Pepsi over the phone at the price of some of them but he didn't

I still want us to pick the ring together though so am not bothered at all about him proposing with no ring. I want it to be an experience that we'll share together and he's happy with that too. Also, as others have mentioned, this is a piece of jewellery you're gonna wear for life and I want it to be a piece that I love wholeheartedly.

Roll on the proposal!!

Congratulations you you too

 

[Meisje]

I think you should do whatever makes the two of you happy, and when you're at the engagement point, you'll definitely know enough about each other to know what that is. There is a lot of BS floating around about what you "should" and "have to" do in regards to engagements and weddings. Ignore it. Don't feel compelled to respond to logic that developed before it was socially acceptable for women to wear pants.

Some ladies like a big ring and a big wedding, and some would be just as content with a twist tie and City Hall. There isn't any right or wrong, and don't let anyone boggle you with "requirements."

But on a totally practical note, despite wanting to be surprised, it would probably be good to try on the ring beforehand.

I've gone nearly 4 years without losing my wedding band into plumbing or bodies of water. Huzzah!