NicksWifey
Well-known member
Quote:
I'm no pro at this kind of stuff, because I tend to snap like a nutcase when I get angry, especially over stuff that involves DH/fiance/boyfriend whatever the special man in a woman's life may be.
Don't feel bad, because it would annoy me too that she has shown up quite a few times and you guys haven't even been there 2 weeks. Especially if all of a sudden, they are close again after how she's treated him most of his life. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with having a mother/son tight bond, but sometimes it's annoying, especially if the MIL is annoying herself. BTW, is your DH her first born or first son? There is a very thick bond between a mother and her first born son, or just a mother and her son period. I've seen with my own mother and brother, my brother's wife and their son, Nick and his mom, etc. IDK why, but it just is. There is really nothing at all wrong with having the mother/son bond, but I can understand when it would get old, especially if the mother won't get out of the son's butt crack.
I know it must be hard hiding your feelings from your DH, but I really do think you should talk to him about it. It's going to make you feel better to get it off your chest and at least he will know how you feel instead of him wondering what's up with you. Just tell him that you respect his mother, but you don't want her coming over all the time because you guys just moved in and are probably still getting settled in. Ask him why does his mom need to do y'all favors? Ask him if there's a reason why it can't stay between you two instead of going to her asking her a favor? It's none of my business or anything, but you sound like you need advice. I know I'm not the best advice giver in the planet, but I try to give my two cents when I think it might help someone, lol
You're only going to feel better if you get this mess off your chest. And I do not think you are being childish, I completely understand where you are coming from. Your MIL reminds me somewhat of my future MIL. You definitely gotta have a talk with your DH and just tell him how you feel, plain and simple. HTH and hugs to you
Originally Posted by erica_1020
Can't sleep and very nauseous... I will make a long story as short as possible. I want to tell my DH how much I dislike MIL and how she has been over too often (we just bought a new house coming from apt) The thing is, some of the times its because she is doing favors for us (husband asked). He hasn't seemed all that close to her (we've been married 6 yrs) now all of a sudden, he is emailing, calling her or vice versa. I feel like crap, but also I know I am being childish. I mean seriously, if he told me I was spending or talkng too much to my mom, I would say he is insane and deal with it. What bugs me 1. Annoying 2. Sneaky 3. she is always the go between to pass info to everyone on his side of the family whether its the divorced side or not 4. wasn't really that good to DH growing up. Showed favoritism to younger brother 5. This is old, but tried talking to me about not getting married until after her son finished college...1. He proposed to me, 2. He hated school, 3. Talk to HIM. I have felt uncomfortable with the family ever since. and she supposedly was talking for her husband because he wasn't going to come to the wedding, etc (he did). She has been here 4 times since we moved in and we have only been here 12 days. 1 time she showed up with her ex husbands 2 step kids who barely speak English. She knocked briefly once and then just walked in. We could have been doing anything. I was pissed. At least we don't have kids But, you know how it is hard to hide your feelings from your spouse? He knows something is up and I hate lying to him. I am trying to shake this but her presence has magnified and I think that's why its getting to me. I mean, she and her husband divorced a few months ago and a few weeks later he was remarried. (He's a whole different story) She brought his new step kids to our house to show them around, she takes them to movies and stuff, what is she trying to prove? I want to talk to him, but know that would just probably be the beginning of a never ending fight or thought in the back of his mind. Any Tips? Sorry if this sounds like rambling |
I'm no pro at this kind of stuff, because I tend to snap like a nutcase when I get angry, especially over stuff that involves DH/fiance/boyfriend whatever the special man in a woman's life may be.
Don't feel bad, because it would annoy me too that she has shown up quite a few times and you guys haven't even been there 2 weeks. Especially if all of a sudden, they are close again after how she's treated him most of his life. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with having a mother/son tight bond, but sometimes it's annoying, especially if the MIL is annoying herself. BTW, is your DH her first born or first son? There is a very thick bond between a mother and her first born son, or just a mother and her son period. I've seen with my own mother and brother, my brother's wife and their son, Nick and his mom, etc. IDK why, but it just is. There is really nothing at all wrong with having the mother/son bond, but I can understand when it would get old, especially if the mother won't get out of the son's butt crack.
I know it must be hard hiding your feelings from your DH, but I really do think you should talk to him about it. It's going to make you feel better to get it off your chest and at least he will know how you feel instead of him wondering what's up with you. Just tell him that you respect his mother, but you don't want her coming over all the time because you guys just moved in and are probably still getting settled in. Ask him why does his mom need to do y'all favors? Ask him if there's a reason why it can't stay between you two instead of going to her asking her a favor? It's none of my business or anything, but you sound like you need advice. I know I'm not the best advice giver in the planet, but I try to give my two cents when I think it might help someone, lol
You're only going to feel better if you get this mess off your chest. And I do not think you are being childish, I completely understand where you are coming from. Your MIL reminds me somewhat of my future MIL. You definitely gotta have a talk with your DH and just tell him how you feel, plain and simple. HTH and hugs to you
