Getting a RESTRAINING ORDER on roommate

[Brittni]

Yeah, she's definitely not my friend anymore. But, it's fine. I've never felt comfortable enough to confide anything super indulgent to her, anyways. She's always been different than me...extremely immature, with guys for all the wrong reasons, a follower, etc... so it's fine. She's been more of a security blanket for me so I go to parties with another girl, to be honest, and I mean we do...did?...we have fun whenever we're together and whatnot but it's nothing I'd be traumatized over losing. But yeah, I called her tonight to ask why the pinwheel was gone and just to see what was up (record information while I still can before poco and chicka realize I got a TRO and then poco won't tell me anything) and she's purposely ignoring my calls. Ha..."FRIEND!" Sadly I'm not too disappointed as I figured that much. I really don't have many girls friends for this very reason... such shit bags around here.

 

[COBI]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brittni Yeah, she's definitely not my friend anymore. But, it's fine. I've never felt comfortable enough to confide anything super indulgent to her, anyways. She's always been different than me...extremely immature, with guys for all the wrong reasons, a follower, etc... so it's fine. She's been more of a security blanket for me so I go to parties with another girl, to be honest, and I mean we do...did?...we have fun whenever we're together and whatnot but it's nothing I'd be traumatized over losing. But yeah, I called her tonight to ask why the pinwheel was gone and just to see what was up (record information while I still can before poco and chicka realize I got a TRO and then poco won't tell me anything) and she's purposely ignoring my calls. Ha..."FRIEND!" Sadly I'm not too disappointed as I figured that much. I really don't have many girls friends for this very reason... such shit bags around here.

Just be aware that in most states (if not all), recording someone without telling them is actually illegal even if it is to document things.

 

[Brittni]

Thanks, didn't know that. I meant recording info like writing down facts though...

As far as chickabitch's actual voice, I let her voicemails do the talking.

I'm actually quite sad that my "friend" has done this to me. It makes me feel like I am alone and not even want to go back to the house because she is going to hate me and let this chick get between us in less than two weeks. I mean, it's whatever... I can't change other people. I just want to be safe and enjoy my college experience, but now the more I think about it the more I am scared that because chickabitch and her cousin know where I live that even if I get a restraining order it's going to be hard to spend the night there for a while. I'll just bring that up in court, though.

 

[MACLovin]

So how long is this TRO for? She can't come within a certain distance of the home for however many days/months? Has she been served with the papers or what? I hope she doesn't flip out and do something evil and vindictive (above what she's already done)

and yeah, that's a pretty crappy 'friend' you had there, ignoring your calls and all. hopefully she'll grow up and talk to you sooner or later. how immature.

 

[Brittni]

The TRO is until the court hearing which is Monday, Sept. 8th. Wish me luck... I'll need it. I am not sure how much distance she has to stay away, but we have a feeling she's going to go 2 houses down to her cousin's. If so, I'll just call the cops and say that she's violating the TRO and stalking me.

Yep, shitty "friend" indeed. It's like... fine, if you don't want to be my friend you don't have to be but we *NEED* to talk about the lease situation and whatnot...even though she doesn't know about the TRO yet. If your "best friend" called you 5 times in a night and texted you, you'd think you'd TRY to get back to her. Hmm. Lame!

So chickabitch is supposed to get served today, but I don't know yet if she has been because I don't have the case # and don't want to call at work having everyone hear my business, you know. So I'll update again when I get home to let you all know what's going on.

I'm just very torn right now on what to do. Move out, or stay. Either way I feel unsafe... and I don't want her getting to stay there so I *am* going to fight this in court. I'm the one with physical evidence - voicemails. Anything she can (and probably WILL) make up shouldn't count. I can totally see chickabitch and poco making stuff up, though... That's what I'm so worried about. But the thing is, and my call log proves it, my mom has been on the phone with me nearly every hour I've been in that house!

Edit: I was checking on Wisconsin CCAP's (Circuit Court Access) and noticed that my "FRIEND" has put a Harassment Restraining Order on someone before so I can't wait for her to flip out on me about this because it'd be soo hypocritical!

 

[Brittni]

Great, just FREAKIN' great. I log on AIM and see chickabitch's status as "party tonight

" which I'm sure means a party at our house. Therefore, I have yet another night to be worried about my stuff getting messed with seeing as the restraining order hasn't been served yet (it would be SO nice if it was tonight, they usually serve them until 8 p.m. ish) but it's probably not going to be until tommorow. Ugh. I really can't handle all this stress.

And my mom just keeps saying, "Well the lawyers are just concerned that if you're living there with poco and poco and chickabitch are so close now then she might do something to you too and they know where you live." It's like stop fucking telling me subliminally to move the fuck out. I get it. My mom wants me out for my safety or whatever, but ANY house close to campus I'm going to have people know where I live. And that's what the Restraining Order is for. I don't care about living in the damn house or not, I want the RO so that chickabitch knows she can't keep doing this to people...

slfjldflgkdfkjgd DSIGH

And my "friend" is definitely no FRIEND of mine, that's for sure. She refuses to answer my calls or my texts and it's like wtf?? The last time I talked to her everything was fine, and they don't know about the TRO yet, so wow

 

[Ms. Z]

Wow, that court date seems so far away. I'm worried about you; you are going to have to post here everyday just to let us know you are doing OK.

I wish you the best of luck and hope that this drama ends for you soon.
Hugs, kisses & Best Wishes!

Hmmmm, its a week night & there is going to be a party at the house? Can't someone call the police and put in a noise complaint, wouldn't that bring the cops to the house to investigate?

 

[Beauty Mark]

You really need to get someone to help you move out. You are going to make yourself sick or crazy or both as long as this is going on.

I can't blame you for worrying or thinking about this so much (I'd be doing the same), but I think you really need to get your stuff out of there and try your damnest not to think about things until they confront you.

As hard as it is, try to do something for yourself. Letting her consume your life like this is letting her win. It sounds like, besides moving out your stuff, you've done all that you can. Please, please, please take care of yourself mentally and physically.

 

[greeneyes81]

girl, i'd have kicked her teeth in by now! much credit to you for staying calm and not escalating the situation. get that restraining order and get her out of your life. I wouldn't tell you to try to talk to her more -- obviously that will accomplish nothing. Say NOTHING to her -- don't even look at her. Just go about your life -- it seems to me that she gets pleasure out of being nasty to you and seeing you get upset. I've had the same situation in the past with a roommate, but it culminated in me being locked out of the apartment, locks changed while i was at work, and EVERYTHING i owned was thrown out or stolen. I basically had to start from scratch -- thank god i had kind friends who helped me out

And i had no legal recourse because my name was not on the lease, nor could i really prove that anything she stole was mine. My suggestion to you is to separate yourself from this girl IMMEDIATLEY to end the problem. A restraining order will accomplish this well

she'll go on to torment someone else -- and you'll be free! i hope you find a better roommate next time around -- but this just goes to show you that people's attitudes can be TOTALLY misleading!!

 

[Brittni]

Thank you so much Ms. Z and Beauty Mark!

I am waiting to move out to see if the final order goes in affect. If it does, I might not be moved out (as she would be forced to) in which case I can get a new, better roommate that I already know.

I haven't spoken to or tried to, green! Only tried speaking with my "friend" our third roomie. But I'm done with that as well.

Wow though girl (green), I cannot believe you went through that. I could NOT imagine that!!!! Soo much of my

goes out to you... Karma, girl. I hope it comes back to her 3x fold for doing that to you. Locking you out and damaging your stuff is just insane.

Speaking of damaging my stuff, that's what I'm most worried about. When I do get to go to the house and "assess the damages" I am fearful they might have broken into my room, moved all my items, and made that into their bedroom or something. I highly doubt it, but of course I have to think worst-case-scenarios to prepare myself. If that is so, my bedroom door DOES have a lock so that would be considered damaging property and will just get them into MORE trouble.

Mom called the Sheriff's Office and apparently the guy handling my case isn't until noon. Whether that means he's out serving and will be back at noon, or whatever, I know that the people who serve the TRO's only stay in the office until two, so it's really annoying because as far as the legal system goes I feel it takes WAY too long for people to get served their restraining orders... Like this is about SAFETY... Could you imagine if I was a wife getting beaten daily by my husband or something?! Wow!

Not to mention I *NEED* to go to the house today. I only have ONE pair of work pants which I wore yesterday, and a dress that I'm wearing today.

 

[Ms. Z]

I hope you get to pick up the clothes you need.

Wow, in NY you can serve the person yourself, you call the police and they go with you or you can have someone you know do it or hire a process server.

 

[Brittni]

Well, I could go to the house and call the local cops and have them serve her but we'd rather not go through the added drama or make it seem like I'm trying to get her out, you know. We'd rather just wait until they serve her so I'm safe and she's not there, yelling and whatnot.

 

[Ms. Z]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brittni Well, I could go to the house and call the local cops and have them serve her but we'd rather not go through the added drama or make it seem like I'm trying to get her out, you know. We'd rather just wait until they serve her so I'm safe and she's not there, yelling and whatnot.

Great, Im glad you are making it safe for yourself.

If she acts up in front of the police it will help your case.

 

[Beauty Mark]

Totally go out and buy new clothes. Take a friend along or your mother and try to have a decent day.

 

[Brittni]

So stressed I could just cry. Trying hard not to though as I'm at work. *BIG SIGH*

So my mom called me and told me that she spoke with the Sheriff's Department. Apparently, the two (yes, there is only TWO) officers who serve Restraining Orders are out for the rest of the day. They were let off from their normal duties to go chase some guy who is on the escape. So apparently my TRO isn't getting served today. And, my mom yelled at the officer and said...So in the meantime is my daughter supposed to go there and get attacked? as this is a SAFETY issue... and apparently there's about 25 Restraining Orders they haven't even served yet. That's such complete bullshit and this system is FUCKED up. I don't cuss a lot but I'm just sooooo frustrated.

I just want to be in the house that I paid for. And safe. And I *NEED* my clothes -- I don't have ANY money to go and buy new stuff. This is so stressful.

Here's my options:

1.) I can go to the house when she is there and call a cop. They will take one of my copies of the TRO and serve her. I really want to do this tonight, but then again I don't because I don't want to be there when they serve her. I might try to see if I can have the cops come and then I can leave before she gets served... but otherwise I really don't want to do this. I don't want any contact with her (furthermore proving I AM FEARFUL)

2.) Wait until tommorow morning and HOPE they get to it. Well what if more fucking BULLSHIT comes up like this and I have to wait again..and again..

This is ridiculous. I am just soooooooo sad. All. because. of. ms. psycho.

 

[rbella]

^^^Isn't there anytime during the day when she isn't home and you could go get your stuff?

 

[Brittni]

No... she doesn't work until Thursday, and I have absolutely no vacation left to leave work. I work M-F until 5.

 

[Kayteuk]

My bf's a police officer so if you do want some help give me a shout. I will PM you my cell number so you can call and we can give you some advice on what to do. =) Also he can probally get things moving a bit faster for ya.

 

[Brittni]

^ Aw, thanks, you're super sweet, but I know he's not from Wisconsin so!!! LOL! I'll PM ya anyway.

 

[Kayteuk]

Hes got some advice for you, go see the magistrate and get a emergency protective order. An EPO. =)