Quote:
Originally Posted by chocolategoddes
In response to BeautyAllure closing her channel:
I could imagine that part of it was the pressure to keep updating. I'd go on her channel and see comments like: you promised you would post more tutorials but you haven't.
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Actually, it wasn't, chocolategoddes.
I am a full time college student with a job and extracurricular activities (even during my vacations I do volunteer work), so I rarely have the time enough as it is to breath but I still made an effort to put out videos and though I didn't have 30 something like others, I made sure I put time and effort into them in making them right. When I did rush to put up a tutorial, I would constantly get comments like something was bad about it but the tutorials I didn't rush, those type of comments were rare. I was busting my ass in my classes because I am trying to get into graduate school when I finish undergrad, so I'm sorry if making YT videos was not on my top priority list (this isn't directed towards you, just in general). By the end of it all, I was just so burnt out, it was unbelievable -- I didn't feel like doing anything, yet alone put on makeup. It was all worth in the end because I made Dean's List and I am proud I plowed through it all, even with the negativity.
Besides, the people that would write comments like that were the main reasons why I did update videos and I would personally email them and let them know as to why I haven't done a video in awhile. Even so, I still kept up to date with answering a ton of emails pretty much every day. So really, people need to sit down and think how much work goes into creating tutorials on the internet. . .on top of your offline life.
I still don't understand why I got so much flack because of it since there are others out on YT that didn't update frequently (like myself) but didn't seem to get such a negative backlash from it.
But it really wasn't my reason for leaving because I knew that though people seemed upset about my absences, I still responded to every single email and it wasn't like I completely fell off the face of the earth and I ignored people. I just cannot be one of those individuals that do more than one tutorial in a day.
And just to clear things up: one of the main reasons (besides the racism and just downright nasty comments/messages) I really left was because of the negativity between those in the WoC YT makeup community (all the competitiveness and cattiness was really ridiculous . . . especially since most of the women are grown individuals, so I never will understand why people felt the need to self validate themselves with the highest amount of subscribers you had). I mean it was like cutthroat seriously. It really was shocking and I just didn't want to do it anymore. It was like it was a race of who could become YT partner first blah blah, who could reach 2000+ subscribers first blah blah blah. I am not on the internet to participate in a popularity contest of any sorts.
The comments regarding my personal life really didn't hurt me
that badly because the comments I read were nothing new to what I experience on a somewhat daily basis, I've grown a tough shell for it, to be honest. What bothered me is when people started taking my YT videos a little too far and it got weird. I only have one word to write about that without going too in depth: stalkers. That's it. i love my life way too much and when I feel like my personal safety has been threatened, it's time to leave and I did. YT videos were not my career and I would never use them as such. They were meant to be fun and informative but like I said before, the fun was taken out of it by some ruthless individuals. Ah well, I believe in karma and all but I really hope they never have to go through what they put me, and others I knew very well on YT, through.
In spite of all this, I thank you all so much for the supportive comments. :] This is why I love Specktra and will probably never leave this beauty forum. You ladies are so awesome and are truly some great motivating factors for me in possibly doing it again.