Help me respond to this 'adult-like'

[Chikky]

So, realllly quick background: The guy and I have been together for a few years now. In the beginning, it was quite hot and heavy, like he constantly wanted to touch me (though we never had sex until recently). He always has a hand on my leg or something.

Anyhow, for more sexual things, it seems like I am the one to start it most times... Though I am a very physical person. Touch is important to me. I'm a touch=happy feelings kind of gal.

So tonight we were in bed, cuddling, and I of course started more... And I KNEW it was late at night and he kept falling asleep... but I kept on. Finally he just burst out 'I don't know how you do it... Function on 5 hours of sleep and expect others to! Can't you just get in bed and cuddle?'

I know he needs sleep. He has a job where he must be alert, and he's fairly useless without a certain amount of sleep. But I just feel bad that it annoyed him to the point that he had to just say it like that. (He's really pacifistic.)

So I apologised a few times, and he said it wasn't my fault... And I know he doesn't like when I bring things up alot, so I'm unsure of what to do.

Do I say something? Do I let it go? I'm kind of annoyed, but more hurt, kind of... I know it was my fault, but I still feel like he didn't... 'want' me.

Any suggestions?

 

[florabundance]

Maybe he's stressed at work or because of work..ask him if everything's ok. That could be the reason he doesn't really initiate sex. If work is fine then ask him about what he wants sexually, you tell him what you want, then try to compromise.
Communication is key when it comes to sexual relationships, i think anyways, and yours is relatively new, so don't be disheartened!

 

[Chikky]

Thank you. Yes, I know he had been. Not as much this past week, but the weeks before, yes. Everyone was fairly much out of town, leaving him to deal with the majority of work and their customers and whatnot.

 

[User93]

Cmon, just let it go I would say. Since people start living together, you become way closer, you can tell each other if you are tired, or feeling bad, you dont have to act or pretend. I think thats nothing bad, I need my sleep too, and lots of other people do! Dont pay attention, I dont think its something to be really worried about.

 

[NutMeg]

Man, I can so relate. Even if he is exhausted, when my bf turns down sex it makes me feel like shit. Logically, I would never want him to feel like he has to do anything he's not in to. But emotionally... Especially because we're basically nymphos, and of all the nights we've spent together in the three years of our sexual relationship (but long distance so it's not quite as many as it sounds) we've only not had sex probably five times. And three of those times were in a row this summer... I was so mad, I tried to talk to him about it and he told me I was overreacting, so I started crying because I was so pissed. (I totally was overreacting

) But then he realised how upset I was and calmed me down, and we had a really good talk.

So basically my story is that I wasn't necessarily the most mature about it, but once we communicated things were good between us again, because he gets that I'm an idiot sometimes (especially when it comes to anything resembling rejection, and I have no idea why!!) and he loves me anyway.

 

[Chikky]

I think I will let it go.

Heh, not like I can stay mad at him anyhow. He sent me a text saying 'Good morning gwumpy chik' (his nickname for me. Chik, not gwumpy, heh). So I said 'I was grumpy? Goood morning.'

Of course I was sort of grumpy the night before, also, so I hope he doesn't get all put off...