littlepickle
Well-known member
My younger sister, Casey, is 18. She was in a relationship with Cameron (20) for about a year and half when he broke it off as he no longer wanted to be in a relationship. Casey was devastated, though said she suspected it was coming. She and I haven't been close for many years now - since she started high school, really. Well, the night they broke up, Cameron updated his Facebook relationship status (ah, Facebook!) to single and I immediately called Case to see if it was a prank or serious, and if she was okay (Cameron's friends have hacked his Facebook in the past and posted silly things, so didn't want to jump to conclusions.) That night we had a really long good talk and it felt like we connected the way we hadn't in years. She needed me right then as her big sister and it was a role I was happy to fill. I sent her out a box of goodies the following week to cheer her up - new make up, all her favourite lollies, an old Kelly doll she'd had when she was little (we used to play with Kelly dolls all the time when we were little & were really, really close). She thanked me profusely...
But the NEXT week! Cameron came to her and said he missed her but still didn't want a relationship. Would she be his exclusive f*** buddy, please?
And she said yes!
Aaaaaargh. I know, I know, it's her life and her decision & she has the right to make it. She's an adult. But that was about a month ago and since then they are back to the way they were previously - always together (you literally cannot separate them unless she's at work!). If you DO manage to get her on her own, she's texting him or someone else - you're never truly alone with her. I'm not the only one being driven batty - my mother & her partner as well as my other sister, Amy (16) feel totally ostracised (sp?) all over again. I felt like when they broke up, we were finally getting towards being close again (which I really, really want!).
What's more, when I have been spending time with Casey & Amy, I've been fairly horrified with the way she talks to people (all knowing, snobby). Amy had been very sick with a flu for over a week and Casey matter of factly said to her "Don't be stupid, you're not sick!" Similarly, when I was having a bit of a moan about my morning sickness (I am approx 5-6 weeks pregnant) she said, quite seriously, "Doesn't that come way later? You can't possibly be having morning sickness." Actually, I had to explain, that was a very early pregnancy sign!! She says other stupid things as well, but I'm sure you get the gist. I love her, but I don't like the person she is at the moment.
I keep trying to remember 18 is such a wacky age - it's the legal drinking age here in New Zealand, so suddenly all these pubs and nightclubs and the like are open to her, she's going to uni next year and as she's boarding with Mum at a minimal rate and working full time, her income is almost entirely disposable.
I guess it doesn't help tame her ego that she's tall, super slim & beautiful, with gorgeous caramel coloured Serena Van Der Woodsen-esque locks.
So, she's doing this f*** buddy stuff, which is stopping her from moving on, Mum is horrified, Amy thinks she's being a d***, I just wish she would come to her senses and we could be close again.
She's moving to Wellington in December & my partner & I are moving there next week. She told me "I'll have to come see you, now that you're having a baby!" - and she really did mean it that way. Baby makes me interesting, therefore (and only because of baby) she will deign to make time for me.
I've tried to talk to her without attacking, I've tried being as sweet and nice as possible, whatever I do she goes on the defense. I've cried & tried to explain how hurt I'm feeling - she just shouts at me.
Sorry for the length, but I couldn't think what to cut out. Bullet points!
Any suggestions? Reassurance? This too will pass? Aaaaargh. I needed to vent so badly!
But the NEXT week! Cameron came to her and said he missed her but still didn't want a relationship. Would she be his exclusive f*** buddy, please?
And she said yes!
Aaaaaargh. I know, I know, it's her life and her decision & she has the right to make it. She's an adult. But that was about a month ago and since then they are back to the way they were previously - always together (you literally cannot separate them unless she's at work!). If you DO manage to get her on her own, she's texting him or someone else - you're never truly alone with her. I'm not the only one being driven batty - my mother & her partner as well as my other sister, Amy (16) feel totally ostracised (sp?) all over again. I felt like when they broke up, we were finally getting towards being close again (which I really, really want!).
What's more, when I have been spending time with Casey & Amy, I've been fairly horrified with the way she talks to people (all knowing, snobby). Amy had been very sick with a flu for over a week and Casey matter of factly said to her "Don't be stupid, you're not sick!" Similarly, when I was having a bit of a moan about my morning sickness (I am approx 5-6 weeks pregnant) she said, quite seriously, "Doesn't that come way later? You can't possibly be having morning sickness." Actually, I had to explain, that was a very early pregnancy sign!! She says other stupid things as well, but I'm sure you get the gist. I love her, but I don't like the person she is at the moment.
I keep trying to remember 18 is such a wacky age - it's the legal drinking age here in New Zealand, so suddenly all these pubs and nightclubs and the like are open to her, she's going to uni next year and as she's boarding with Mum at a minimal rate and working full time, her income is almost entirely disposable.
I guess it doesn't help tame her ego that she's tall, super slim & beautiful, with gorgeous caramel coloured Serena Van Der Woodsen-esque locks.
So, she's doing this f*** buddy stuff, which is stopping her from moving on, Mum is horrified, Amy thinks she's being a d***, I just wish she would come to her senses and we could be close again.
She's moving to Wellington in December & my partner & I are moving there next week. She told me "I'll have to come see you, now that you're having a baby!" - and she really did mean it that way. Baby makes me interesting, therefore (and only because of baby) she will deign to make time for me.
I've tried to talk to her without attacking, I've tried being as sweet and nice as possible, whatever I do she goes on the defense. I've cried & tried to explain how hurt I'm feeling - she just shouts at me.
Sorry for the length, but I couldn't think what to cut out. Bullet points!
- Sister dumped by her boyfriend
- Boyfriend missed her & wanted her to be f*** buddy
- Now totally absorbed in 'just friends'/f*** buddy relationship
- She's freakin' gorgeous (& knows it) & extremely self absorbed
- Everyone in the family (except Dad, who sees the absolute best in everyone) feels hurt, left out & jealous
- I want us to be close again.
- I've tried talking to her but no matter what approach I take she lashes out.
Any suggestions? Reassurance? This too will pass? Aaaaargh. I needed to vent so badly!