hmmm i don't know if this is healthy

[kimmy]

at the risk of dragging this out too much, i've been in one relationship and it ended pretty badly. before it ended, it wasn't existing in a very good, healthy way either. that's the history, here's the problem:

since then i haven't been able to get attached to a guy at all. i try, i really try..to make these guys mean something, but for some reason they just don't.

i feel like such a man (sorry for the blatant sexism right there) because i find myself saying "i'm not looking for anything serious" alot lately. i know i'm young and i don't need a boyfriend or anything, but it's a little concerning to me how impossible attachment seems to be now.

is this normal after getting out of a long relationship?

 

[Shimmer]

In a word, yes.

 

[xbeatofangelx]

Totally normal.

For about a year and a half after one of my most serious relationships, I couldn't settle down at all - I just kept dating (whoring myself) around [jk!!].

It's hard to just turn off your emotions and find a new guy, and expect everything to be great.

Just give yourself some time, and i'm sure once you find the right person, you'll WANT to settle down.

I'm now in a happy relationship, going strong for 6 months so far, and long-term is on my brain. My friends used to joke that I didn't care about any guys - ever.

You'll be fine I'm sure, good luck! :]

 

[lara]

Completely normal.

My advice is to enjoy it - take all the fun parts, ditch all the angsty bits and go along with it all.

 

[mskitchmas]

^ i second that.

 

[little teaser]

i think thats normal after getting out of a bad relationship, i was in one for four years and knew a year befor it ended i wanted out.. after i left i really didnt date for about a year and i was happy and content not doing it.. then i meet my husband and we have been together 10 years so i think you should just enjoy your freedom and when the right guy comes along you will know it the reason your not feeling it is because there not "the one"

 

[Shimmer]

Rush into a relationship now, and you'll find yourself in the same type of relationship you left. :/

Use this time to enjoy yourself and to explore who you are and who you've become.

 

[Beauty Mark]

If you find this pattern after a long time (like years) and aren't okay with it, talk to someone.

I think it's better that you wait to date than rush it when you've broken up. You're also young. Allow yourself to enjoy being single.

 

[kaliraksha]

I think it depends on the type of person- I see friends who do this and others who rush right into another serious relationship that turns out to be disastrous. Honestly, I feel like this may be the healthier option... or at least the one that is most fun. Don't worry... when the next right one comes along you will do just fine.

 

[ilovexnerdsx]

totally normal i believe. dont FORCE yourself to like anyone, and you'll come out much happier. let things go the way they go, and you will find yourself feeling much better.

it hurts, i know, but time really will remove these clinging emotions.

best of luck babe, you know i love you

 

[MisStarrlight]

Totally normal. I kinda became a bit of a whore (ok, a bit exaggerated) after my last serious relationship. It probably wasn't the most healthy thing for me, but it allowed me to get out & enjoy life & see what the rest of the world had to offer...and to enjoy college life a bit more.

 

[jenii]

It's definitely normal.

 

[madkitty]

ive been like it for 3 years since i split up with my fiancee - try to adapt otherwide it then gets a LOT harder

 

[Raerae]

Sounds like typical me atm...

I'm currently in a "guys totally suck" stage, but that doesn't mean I dont find plenty of men totally delish haha... At least for a little while.

 

[kimmy]

thanks ladies.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Raerae Sounds like typical me atm... I'm currently in a "guys totally suck" stage, but that doesn't mean I dont find plenty of men totally delish haha... At least for a little while.

i hear you on that.

 

[giz2000]

Quote:

Originally Posted by THE ANTHEM at the risk of dragging this out too much, i've been in one relationship and it ended pretty badly. before it ended, it wasn't existing in a very good, healthy way either. that's the history, here's the problem: since then i haven't been able to get attached to a guy at all. i try, i really try..to make these guys mean something, but for some reason they just don't. i feel like such a man (sorry for the blatant sexism right there) because i find myself saying "i'm not looking for anything serious" alot lately. i know i'm young and i don't need a boyfriend or anything, but it's a little concerning to me how impossible attachment seems to be now. is this normal after getting out of a long relationship?

totally normal

 

[Raerae]

Read this! Thought of this thread after reading it lol...

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/17107205/

I'm such a commitment phobe lol...

 

[prinzessin784]

It's definitely normal! Give yourself lots of time to get back to your normal love/relationship feelings and routine. Time sucks but it really does heal all wounds!!

 

[cutegingerbread]

To echo what everyone had already said, YES very normal. It's good to take time for yourself and assess what you want in a relationship (and what went wrong in your past one).

My friend had this same reaction after her 3 yr relationship ended. However, I do believe that once "that right person" *cheesy lol* comes along, it'll be a totally different experience. That's actually what happened to her and sort of myself as well. I had intense trust issues until I started dating my bf, it just "feels right" *again..cheesyyyy lol*

Just trust your instincts! They're there for a reason

 

[martiangurll]

It is okay. When you meet someone really special, then you will want to stay with them.